Because you can’t spell “Attack of the Angry Dwarves” without A’s, the Cubs have found a taker for awful, little, utility infielder Aaron Miles, and all it cost the Cubs was Miles, a million dollars and a balder version of Jack Cust.
The Cubs traded Miles (as the Interwebs explode with joy) and Jake Fox to the A’s for relief pitcher Jeff Gray, minor league pitcher Ronny Morla and minor league infielder/outfielder Matt Spencer. And, while they had to send a million bucks (in one dollar bills in a bag that is actually taller than Miles), that incredibly means that the A’s are going to pay the rest of the absurd $2.7 million that Miles is owed this season.
The Cubs paid Miles $2.2 million last year and he responded with 29 hits, five RBI and he was a perfect three for three in stolen base attempts!
He also played 56 errorless innings at shortstop and third base! Clearly, he’s one of the greatest free agent signings in the long, storied history of the Cubs. Right up there with Jeff Blauser ($8 million to hit .237 between 1998 and 1999) and Neifi Perez ($3.25 million to save the 2005 and 2006 seasons!)
As for Fox, every Cubs fan spent last season talking about what an awesome DH he would make, you know, if the league the Cubs played in actually had one of those.
But since most of us stopped watching the Cubs in August, did you actually take a look at what Jake’s stats ended up looking like?
He hit .259/.311/.468 with 11 homers, 44 RBI and 47 K’s in 230 at bats.
What? Huh? Hey that’s not good. But Jake makes up for that by not being able to play the outfield, only being able to play third base if the ball wasn’t hit to him and his time spent at catcher made him look about as confident as Kyle Farnsworth with a Sudoku puzzle.
Of the new Cubs, Jim Hendry gave Gray this vote of confidence:
“He’s got the stuff to be able to pitch in any area of the bullpen if he would harness it better.”
Which is baseball-scout-speak for “He throws hard, but man does he suck.”
And the other two guys? Morla has a horrible name, and Spencer is listed as an infielder/outfielder? Which means he can’t really play anything.
But that’s not the point here. The point is that Aaron Miles is gone and the Cubs didn’t have to pay every cent he’s owed next year.
I know. Amazing!
I like this.
/facebook’d
Screw you guys! And I’m taking the cool white catcher’s equipment with me, too!
I was one of those that stopped watching in August, so I am admittedly shocked that his averages dipped that low. That should keep the 80% of our fan base who are idiots from crying about him being traded.
We actually had to throw in the cool white catcher’s equipment and a bag of balls, otherwise they never would’ve accepted aaron miles…
Jim, you should have just slipped Miles into the bag and kept the balls. IDIOT.
Fox’ numbers at 26 are not dissimilar from Chase Utley’s at 25. True, he can’t field. But he can hit, you can’t say he’s not that good.
So does this mean he won’t be available to help me take the ring back to Mount Doom?
In the Oakland Coliseum they have Mt. Davis if that helps.
President ryan theroit. Vice president mike fontenot
I’m sorry, I was sleeping. Did somebody just compare Jake Fox to Chase Utley?