In November of 1864, a Union General named William Tecumseh Sherman led a slash and burn campaign through the deep south, which included burning most of the city of Atlanta to the ground. With the will of the Confederate Army and their supporters already at an all-time low, Sherman’s “march to the sea” is considered the beginning of the end of the American Civil War.

In October of 2003, Cubs righthander Kerry Lee Wood led a slash and burn campaign through the deep south, which included torching most of the vaunted Atlanta Braves offense. With the will of the mighty Braves and their toothless throng of fans already at an all-time low, Wood’s “march to the LCS” might just be the beginning of the end of 95 years of title-less baseball in Chicago.

OK, it’s a stretch. But on a day in which the Chicago Bears did the impossible and overcame a 15 point, second half deficit, sending Kerry to the mound in Atlanta to wipe away almost a century of postseason failures seemed about as unlikely to produce a desired result.

Even blowhard CBS commentator Dan Dierdorf got in the act. As psychotic Paul Edinger’s game-winning field goal split the uprights, Dick Enberg yelled, “The Bears win it!” Dierdorf added, “And you know what, I think the Cubs are going to win tonight, too!”

Given the added weight of trying to make Dierdorf look good, you expected Kerry Wood to fall off the mound and spike himself to death during the first inning.

Instead, the Cubs went to work in the top of the first and got Kerry a run before he even took the mound. Then, as Larry Wayne “Chipper” Jones struck out to end the first he had that “oh crap, this is going to be a long night” look on his face. Chipper’s face was right. Kerry had his good stuff and wasn’t about to give the lead back.

The Cubs never trailed. In fact, about the time E-ramis Ramirez tossed a sixth inning bomb into the centerfield stands, you knew it was over.

Sure there were some tense moments. The revolved around the bottom of the sixth inning sequence that went:

– Furcal walks to lead off the inning on five pitches.
– Giles singles.
– Sheffield singles to center scoring Furcal. The lead is now 4-1 Cubs. But wait…
– Kenny Lofton appeared to make a diving catch of Sheffield’s sinking liner. While Furcal blazed blindly around third, Giles was hung up between first and second. The left field umpire made the (incorrect) safe call on the line drive, but Giles was looking at second base umpire Bruce Froemming for a call. A call never came.
– Lofton throws to Grudzielanek for a force out at second base.

Then, the fun starts. The Braves are mad because Froemming never made a call on the flyball and Giles didn’t know whether to run or not. The Cubs are mad because Lofton did catch the ball, so there should have been a double play with Sheffield out on the catch, Furcal out for leaving second..and possibly a triple play if Giles didn’t make it back to first in time.

Regardless, the Cubs survive by doing a very un-Cublike thing. They get the next hitter, Larry Wayne Jones to ground into a double play. Inning over. Damage limited. Who knew?

From that point on the Braves never seriously threatened.

The Cub tacked on a run in the ninth when Tom Goodwin pinch hit for Kerry Wood (why? no, Dusty!) and stroked an RBI double.

Regular Joe Borowski got the call, strolled in from the bullpen and in a scary close-up on Fox looked like he was about to soil himself right there on the mound. His first pitch was hammered to deep right field, but Sammy Sosa jumped up and caught it before it could hit the wall. Joe seemed to be awakened by the near homer and struck out both Javy Lopez and Andruw Jones to win it.

That set off a subdued celebration by the Cubs, though it honked off all of the already irritated Cardinals and White Sox fans who had tuned in, hoping to see the Cubs add another chapter to their Heimlich past.

Hundreds of the thousands of Cubs fans in attendance at Turner Field made their way down behind the Cubs dugout to congratulate their heroes. Many of the Cubs came back onto the field to shower their groupies with champagne. In the streets around Wrigley, pandelerium broke out.

Critics complained that the Cubs were celebrating nothing. All they did was advance a round in the playoffs. The Cardinals did the same thing last year. The White Sox did it…well…yeah, they haven’t won a playoff series since 1917, so they can shut their pie holes.

But as a great man once sang, “who’s to say the way a man should spend his day?” The Cubs were happy and their fans are delirious. This doesn’t happen every day around here. We’re going to enjoy it if you don’t mind. In fact, we’re probably going to enjoy it more if you do mind.

Even if this guy shows up to protest.

The Cubs won the series three games to two, or every game Kerry Wood or Mark Prior started to every game that somebody else did.

In case you’re wondering, that same math works out to a 4-3 Cubs NLCS win. The Cubs will use a playoff rotation of:

Game one: Carlos Zambrano
Game two: Mark Prior
Game three: Kerry Wood
Game four: Matt Clement
Game five: Carlos Zambrano
Game six: Mark Prior
Game seven: Kerry Wood

But you also have to like the matchup of Carlos, 1-0 against the Marlins in two starts (his no decision came after he pitched six scoreless innings and turned the game over to the bullpen), against the Fish, too.

Florida’s a good, young, aggressive team. They have the best record in baseball over their last 60 games. They do everything fast. So, like the Judo artists they are, the Cubs will turn the Marlins’ momentum against them.

Isn’t it interesting how happy Bay Area fans were with Felipe Alou until this past weekend? They thought he was a baseball sage. They loved that he was quiet, reserved and calm. Then, the Giants sleepwalk through four emotionless games, get sent home and suddenly the talk is how Felipe’s aloof and doesn’t communicate with his players. Suddenly, they miss Dusty.

Well….they can’t have him back.

—

At halftime of the Bears-Raiders game, Bonnie Bernstein interviewed Dick Jauron and Dick was mad. Not at Bonnie, but at his team. It took four years, but they finally pissed him off. It was nice to see him look as disgusted as we did.

The paint must have been peeling off the walls in the new locker room. Whatever he said, whatever he did…it worked.

They looked like a different team in the second half. A real team. Sure, the offensive line still took turns drawing holding penalties, but they also opened some big holes. The A-Train ran like he did two years ago. Kordell made (gasp!) good decisions. Dez White even caught some passes with his hands!

Who knew?

Defensively, we continue to like what we see from Lance Briggs and especially Charles Tillman. He’s a keeper.

The defensive line actually made a few plays and kept the fullback and both guards from mauling Brian Urlacher on every play. That’s kind of nice.

Can we all agree that Brad Maynard just sucks? Two years ago he must have had the horsehoe up his hiney when he nailed those kicks inside the 20, because the last year and a quarter he hasn’t done squat. What this proves is what I’ve been saying all along. The Bears need a punter who kicks off, too. Edinger’s a good kicker but is lousy at kicking off. A good kicker is harder to find than a punter who can also serve as your kickoff specialist. Go find one.

I’d be tempted to say that some of John Shoop’s play calls were really nice (the inside trap to Stanley Pritchett for a TD, the fade to Dez to set up the field goal, pulling Aaron Gibson to free the A-Train), but a lot of them were just as bad as always. We still lead the world in three yard passes on third and long.

The Bears next play the Saints. Remember it was New Orleans who sunk the Bears season last year in the immortal “Leon Johnson takes the kickoff off the facemask” game. These Saints are very beatable. Dare we dream of two in a row?

Let’s dare.
—-

It only took 95 years to win a postseason series. Is that a long time?

I love the Cubs, but some of these fans (like the wacko with her mother’s ashes in a baseball) are just plain nuts. They need to be sedated. When I turned on the WGN postgame last night there were about six wild eyed, shouting morons (or morans) scaring the hell out of the normally unflappable Randy Salerno.

Kerry Wood was wearing Mark Prior’s glove because he forgot to pack his. Huh?

Dusty is enjoying his move to Chicago. So are we.

Rick Morrissey insists we’ll all remember where we were last night. I’m thinking the Cubs are going to trump that memory sometime this week.

Mike Downey can count. Backwards, even.

Phil Rogers has to force himself to say nice things about the Cubs. Just put a clamp on it, nitwit.

Woody explains why he didn’t pack on Saturday.

Ron Santo is facing more surgery, and in true WGN Radio style he’ll announce it as part of a ratings stunt on the Spike O’Dell show.

In an update, Santo will have tumors removed from his bladder. Now, go have a nice lunch.

Rosey on the Bears.

The Bears won. No, really.

Mike Kiley on the Cubs big win.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to dub the Cubs as “winners.” That just sounds so Special Olympics, doesn’t it?

The starters for the first four games of the NLCS are set. Check out game four. Matt Clement against the guy he was traded for. Let’s leave El Pulpo out of it, though.

Mike Kiley asks that when you hit your knees tonight, pray for Ron Santo.

Farns says he ain’t hurt or nuthin’.

The Wizard of Roz says Ron is going to Arizona for his medical procedure.

The ESPN crew apologized for what they didn’t say.

The Braves are left to ponder, “Why us?” Again.

John Donovan of Spanish-yes.com doesn’t seem all that convinced. Well, screw him.

Terrence Moore says the Braves have no heart. No, Terrence you’re wrong. It’s right over there, still beating, but it’s in Kerry Wood’s hand.

Roy of Siegfried and Roy is in critical condition after being mauled by a tiger. What, you expected him to get trampled by mountain goats?

People are mad that the LA Times reporting that Ah-nuld has been accused of sexual harrassment. I mean come on, is this a surprise. This is a man who once shot Sharon Stone and said, “Consider dis a dee-vorce.”

A North Carolina woman claims Ben Affleck made threats against her. How bad could they be, it’s not like he grabbed her and said, “I’m going to make you watch “Bounce” again!”

Big girls need lovin’ too. Just not from me.

Ah-nuld says people are running a “puke campaign” against thim. Uh…nice?

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