Hello again everybody. While most of us still haven’t recovered from last night’s rollercoaster, we are ready for another turn in line.
On the pregame show Steve Stone just announced that the Marlins are going to put Miguel Cabrera in right field and will start Mike Lowell at third base. This makes no sense, given that Cabrera has played plenty of games in left, and Jeff Conine can play right. But then, this is Jack McKeon we’re talking about here and he still thinks that he’s managing Garry Templeton and Steve Garvey.
The Cubs face one of their old farm-hands, Dontrelle Willis. Dontrelle has been getting lit up lately, and that shouldn’t change. Plus, if you get to him early, he doesn’t bat. He was 3-3 in the NLDS with a triple.
Maybe they should play him in right?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:26 pm
No matter how wild things were in Miami last night, they’re just plain stupid in Boston.
Fat, bald, dopey old man Don Zimmer charged Pedro Martinez during the game today and ended up on his sizable caboose.
And now, a Boston Red Sox groundskeeper just had a tussle with Yankees outfielder Karim Garcia.
I had no idea William Ligue got a new job? He doesn’t look like the type to ever have one.
Don Zimmer
on October 11, 2003 at 6:28 pm
My ‘roids flared up and MTV signed me to a contract because Pedro Punk’d me on my ass during our game.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:37 pm
Those of you who followed along with last night’s game know that most of the key moments of that one were brought to us by the hottest woman on Fox, Eliza Dushku. She’s back today.
And, tonight’s GameCast is sponsored by both Eliza and…Roto Rooter?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 6:41 pm
Much appreciated Eliza pictures, especially after having to watch Johnny Damon for three hours.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:41 pm
Kevin Kennedy is trying to defend Zimmer’s bush league attack on Pedro by saying that in 1959 Don got hit in the head and almost died.
It is true that Don freaks out whenever anybody gets hit in the melon. In 1989 Mitch Williams took a line drove off his skull and Zimmer puked all over the Cubs dugout.
Then again, I remember hearing about the Rafael Palmeiro-Mitch Williams trade and puking all over my shoes. So that’s no excuse.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:44 pm
Here’s tonight’s Fox pregame if I’m in the booth with tHomm, Steve and Al.
tHom: "Cubs starter Matt Clement can be dominant at times, other times he’s not."
Steve: "He’s got the potential to be a 20 game winner some day."
Andy: "When he gets beat it’s because he pitches like a big time pussy. Kind of like you, Al, when you pitched for the Blue Jays."
Al: "Screw you Dolan, you hack!"
Andy: "Hey, shouldn’t you be working out and getting ready to lead the Mets to another 65 win season?"
tHomm: "Mommy!"
Scottie Pippen
on October 11, 2003 at 6:45 pm
Hey, I’ve got even better seats than last night! Sweet.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:51 pm
Desipio’s scouting report on Dontrelle Willis.
Good, lively left arm.
Bad teeth.
Wears his baseball cap over his ears like a kid who may have ridden the short bus to school
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:53 pm
Speaking of the short bus, does Grady Little have an assigned seat on it?
Hey, are you kidding? Did Dontrelle Willis get traded for Matt Clement? Really?
Thank God Fox just reminded us for the 1,233,342th time this year.
But really, don’t forget the great El Pulpo, he was the key to the deal.
Woof.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 6:58 pm
Doesn’t tHomm Brennaman’s head look like an upside down bowling pin?
tHom and Steve are fascinated by the Cubs actually scoring runs. Hey, anybody think that maybe the Marlins pitching is lousy?
Nah.
Al likes Dontrelle’s character and charisma.
Charisma never got anybody out.
But speaking of Charisma, did you know that Eliza Dushku used to star on a TV show with Charisma Carpenter?
You got it. The upcoming first pitch is brought to you by Eliza Dushku.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:00 pm
Nice to hear my favorite band selling out for "That 70’s Show."
Now I need more Eliza pictures to get Elliot Randall out of my head.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:00 pm
Both teams are decked out in the stupid BP jersey tops again.
Th Cubs are using the same lineup as last night. Well, of course, I mean other than the pitcher.
El Pulpo
on October 11, 2003 at 7:01 pm
Thanks for the good press! Now I hope I don’t have to pitch so you can’t rail on me again tonight!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:01 pm
Lyons just called him Dontrelle Williams. Nice.
Willis, Williams whatever, just walked Lofton to start the game.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:03 pm
Any time, Pulpo.
Lyons referred to Rickey Henderson as just Rickey. He was afraid he’d call him Rickey Hendrickson.
Lyons said The Equalizer is behind home plate? The old assassin guy from the CBS show? Cool.
BTW, Notre Dame hanging on to a 17-14 lead at Pitt.
Yeah, you don’t care. I know.
Ty Webb
on October 11, 2003 at 7:04 pm
I like you Williams.
That’s Willis
Whatever
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:04 pm
Gruddy strikes out. Not even a threat of a bunt. Hmmm.
Rickey
on October 11, 2003 at 7:04 pm
Rickey’s transcendent.
Rickey now has no use for a last name.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:05 pm
Hey Ty, is Lacy Underall here?
Steve Lyons
on October 11, 2003 at 7:05 pm
If Rickey is transcendent, how can we see him?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:06 pm
Dontrelle’s ears are creeping me out. Sort of like Kylie Minogue’s.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:06 pm
Sammy walks on four pitches. Not a lot of strikes coming out of Willis’ hand right now.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:06 pm
Check your underwear, Steve.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:07 pm
The last time I had sex with Kylie I made her wear a stocking cap. I know what you mean, KD.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:07 pm
Wait, the Cubs drafted Willis?
And traded him?
For Matt Clement and … wait, Clement’s starting tonight?!?!
FOX RULES!
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:07 pm
Shades of Ankiel.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:08 pm
Sammy walks, and a trip to the mound…..
Irod: are you ever going to throw a strike?
DW: I would, but I’ve been getting POUNDED lately.
Irod: Yup
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:08 pm
Hey, a photo op for Pulpo!
Willis is all over the place. Sort of like me on prom night.
Who is Wayne Rosenthal and why is he on my TV?
Wayne? Really?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:09 pm
Al says Willis isn’t wild.
OK, Al.
He just walked the bases loaded.
That’s NOT wild?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:09 pm
Was that Kirk Hinrich in a Cubs jersey?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:09 pm
How will the Cubs fail to score?
Let me count the ways?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:10 pm
Patience guys, patience.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:10 pm
In the first inning, Steve tells us a Willis story they covered in the pregame show. He must know Dontrelle is not long for this game.
Or, he’s an idiot.
Wait, it’s Lyons. He’s an idiot.
Rick Helling up in the Fishpen.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:11 pm
Axl?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:12 pm
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAM E-RAMIS!
Four nothing Cubs.
A bomb.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:12 pm
Pirates is good people, 4-0.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:12 pm
I think we can officially declare the Dontrelle Willis Era ‘ov-uh.’
p.d.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:12 pm
Go PIRATES!!!
All those legs and elbows sure fooled E-Ramis! Grand Slam!
Muhahahahahaha
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:12 pm
She’s got eyes of the bluest skies and if they thought of rain, I’d hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.
Murf
on October 11, 2003 at 7:13 pm
So a Grand Slam isn’t just a breakfast option at Dennys. Its a good thing then
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:13 pm
I am typing my missives from Lafayette, Indiana — where Axl grew up.
You can still hear him in the night, when the wind blows.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:14 pm
I know, I butchered the lyric, but I was trying to sing it and I think I just scared the neighbors.
Karros flies to right and Cabrera gets under it and judging by his smooth movements, while Castillo runs like Lonnie "Skates" Smith, Cabrera fields like him.
Muahahahahahahahaha.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:16 pm
Hey, the Cubs would never lose a game after a four run first, right?
Good Alex strikes out.
The Cubs have four runs and one hit.
That grand slam, of course was brought to you by Eliza Dushku. Oh, Eliza!
E-Ramis
on October 11, 2003 at 7:16 pm
Note to self: 6 years – $105mm
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:17 pm
On ESPN Mark Jones (doing the ND-Pitt game with Bob Davie-oh god) just used the word "troika" and I think he hurt himself.
ND up 20-14 with seven minutes left in the third.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:18 pm
That was nice wasn’t it?
We’re either scoring 4 or 15 tonight boys…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:18 pm
The Marlins lineup is different than last night.
So there. You’re welcome.
It’s the little fast guys, then the fat catcher then some righthanded sluggers and then bad Alex. I’m big on brevity.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:18 pm
Clement is a former Marlin? Just how did we get this guy?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:19 pm
Pierre with a leadoff single… Come on Matt do better than that.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:19 pm
Juan Pierre leads off the game with a single. I think tHom should remind us that the Marlins have not lost a game that Pierre or Castillo got a hit in, since…uh…last night.
Pierre tries to steal second and with the Cubs catchers, it’s the one thing they do well.
He’s meat at second.
One down.
Perfect throw.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 7:20 pm
If playoff games were only 1 innings, the Cubs would be undefeated.
Howdy Andy, KD everyone…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:21 pm
Castillo loops one to Sosa.
Two out.
Time for the Lemanski Shift on Pudge!
Come on, you all saw Bad News Bears, right?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:21 pm
Hey, our catcher can throw… That’s not Prior in disguise is it?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:22 pm
The Lemanski shift has Sammy in the proper spot. One, two, three go the Fish.
After one, Cubs 4, Marlins 0.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 7:27 pm
Now you’re on top, keep the pressure on. The Marlins won’t fold – this is a must-win for them. But the longer you can keep them doubting, the lower their chances of winning.
Everyone already knows that ‘Axl Rose’ is an acronym, right?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:27 pm
You want to know another reason why I hate Pudge Rodriguez? He’s always bitching about balls and strikes when he’s hitting. It just pisses the umps off and loses calls for his pitchers.
Miller strikes out.
OK…maybe not.
Another Sprint PCS question. Clement grounds to Lee.
Like we said last night, 98 percent of the people watching this game are Cubs fans, there’s no way they’ll lose any of these polls.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:28 pm
Suddenly the ump’s strike zone is huge. Ahh…you have to love these umps.
Lofton rolls to first.
After one and a half, Cubs 4, Marlins 0.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:28 pm
Lowell looks like Vance Law with a goatee.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:29 pm
Does it get better than walking back into the TV room while a woman purrs "I loooooove soft carpet" on the screen?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:30 pm
Can somebody find Dontrelle Willis some Nyquil??? He needs to settle down a little bit.
By the way:
Nyquil = addictive stuff…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:31 pm
Is ESPN billing these games "Shoulder Separation Saturday?" That seems a little morbid.
Four minutes left in the third, still ND 17, Pitt 14.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:31 pm
Clement plunks Derek Lee. Somebody kindly restrain Don Zimmer.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:32 pm
Clement isn’t starting innings well. He hits Derrek Lee to begin the 2nd.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:33 pm
Double play… Nice job Matt.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:33 pm
Everything up for Clement so far. Most guys enjoy getting it up, but it’s not a good thing for Matt.
Second pitch is that wicked slider for a strike.
Al keeps referring to Larry Rothschild as the best pitching coach in the game. Not that I disagree, but doesn’t that have to make the Mets pitching coach feel a little inadequate?
Clement forces Cabrera to ground into a routine 643.
Al Leiter is spinning a baseball at us now.
The revolutions WILL be televised!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:34 pm
This ump has no idea what the strike zone is.
Clement walks Lowell.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:35 pm
Al brings up Rothschild and, somewhere, Flannel Boy is incorrectly correcting him.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:36 pm
When Lyons talks about pitching, does he think anybody listens to him.
Actually, the same goes for when he talks about hitting.
Al just called Conine "Niner." How cute.
Niner whiffs on a slider.
After two, still 4-0.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:38 pm
Notre Dame fails on two cracks to gain a yard. Still 20-14 in Pitt.
I said 17-14 last time, didn’t I? Yeah, ND was not penalized three points at any time. Oops.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:39 pm
What would Jared do?
Get addicted to crystal meth and then tell the world he lost 18 trillion pounds because of Subway, when, in fact, he only used the Subway bathroom for knobbing guys off for quick cash so he could buy more pairs of GIANT FRRUCKERRIN’ PANTS!!!
Whew, blacked out for a while there …
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:39 pm
Does Fox ever SELL any commercials? Yet another Joe Millionaire one. However, I’ll admit I’m getting a crush on the bug eyed blonde who says, "He’s riiiiiiich!"
Gruddy flies to right. One out.
Murf
on October 11, 2003 at 7:40 pm
Ya think for Joe Millionaire they will dust out Crackers Eurotrash Girl for the theme song?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:41 pm
I think Jared used to do commercials for the crystal meth diet. That one never caught on, though.
The D-train issues a free pass to Sammy again.
D-train. What a stupid ass nickname.
Here’s Mo!
Oh, never mind.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:41 pm
Mo singles. E-ramis is up, and he smells a seven RBI night.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:42 pm
Even the Marlins organist is a Cub fan. He/she just played "Take the A-Train" as A-ramis walked up to the plate.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 7:43 pm
Doesn’t that D-Train pic on the espn page look like Anthony Mason?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:45 pm
Anthony Mason.
Not really.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:45 pm
Anthony Mason.
Not really.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:46 pm
E-ramis did a Manny like stroll to first on that granny. That didn’t set tHom off?
Now he’s bitching that the Pirates traded our three pals to the Cubs.
Shut up, tHom.
Willis has thrown more pitches in two at bats to E-ramis than Clement has thrown, period.
E-ramis singles to right, Sammy scores, Moises to third and then E-ramis gets to second when the throw gets by Pudge.
5-0 Cubs.
E-Ramirez
on October 11, 2003 at 7:46 pm
Note to self; 7 years, $135mm
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:47 pm
How the hell did I do that?
This is what happens when you stay away from a computer. All old white men start looking alike to you.
Three innings, five ribbies for A/E-Train.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 7:47 pm
Not that one!
Although that is pretty funny in itself…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:48 pm
Jack McKeon on the mound to see Dontrelle.
Jack: "Who are you son?"
Dontrelle: "Huh?"
Jack: "No, seriously, I have no idea who you are. Do you have any pudding? I like pudding."
Dontrelle: "I think I just made some in my shorts."
Jack: "Good, then."
Anthony Mason
on October 11, 2003 at 7:48 pm
"I need a job, foo’!!"
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:50 pm
I wonder if Dontrelle’s Mom is still single.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:50 pm
I don’t care what Al says, that E-ramis at bat was disatrous for Dontrelle. He’s thrown like 70 pitches already.
If Dontrelle’s 21, how old is his mom, 34?
How does he get away with rubbing the baseball on his sweaty arm after every pitch.
Then again, maybe that’s why he can’t throw a strike.
Dontrelle’s momma is a welder. I have nothing.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:51 pm
Bye-bye Dontrelle.
Karry Ling
on October 11, 2003 at 7:51 pm
Hello again, everybody. The bases are loaded and so am I!
Back to you, Andy.
Jack McKeon
on October 11, 2003 at 7:51 pm
You have nothing? So, no pudding?!?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:51 pm
I’m sorry I’m not very consistent tonight. My computer is throwing it in every which direction…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:52 pm
Karros walks to load them up, and Jack is out to collect on Dontrelle’s pudding deposit.
Rick Helling is coming in to get shelled and Eliza has a message for the D-Train.
Chip Caray
on October 11, 2003 at 7:53 pm
Honesty compels me to say that D-Train doesn’t seem to have his usual good stuff today. Hey, did I tell you I’m watching he game att Biggio’s house?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:53 pm
Bobbi Flekman needs to go away.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:53 pm
Hey Jack!
Gonzo greets Helling with an RBI single. Six zip Cubs.
Who are these guys?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:55 pm
Lyons is raving about Dontrelle’s attitude. I think the Marlins fans wish that attitude had more strikes in it.
Craig Biggio
on October 11, 2003 at 7:55 pm
Did I tell you I’m typing this from a laptop I have in my attic?
Please help me.
Chip’s going all "Phil Spector" on me.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:55 pm
Damian Miller up.
643
436
or 123 DP?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:56 pm
I have no sympathy for you Craig. Your orifices only have to put up with Chip for a few weeks. We have him for six months. Just bite on something soft.
Miller strikes out looking.
Again.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 7:57 pm
Once again Damien strikes out without taking the bat off his shoulder. Must be saving his arm for the next steal attempt.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 7:58 pm
Jan Stephenson busted out the xenophobe stick today:
“This is probably going to get me in trouble, but the Asians are killing our (LPGA) tour. Absolutely killing it. Their lack of emotion, their refusal to speak English when they can speak English. They rarely speak."
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 7:59 pm
Clement grounds to second. But the Cubs get two more.
After two and a half, 6-0 Cubs.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:00 pm
Ankiel.
AN-K-IELLLLLL…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:01 pm
Kelly,
Have google find you some Jan Stephenson photos from about 10 years ago. Smokin’.
By the way, my favorite part of the Red Sox – Yankees game was when in a 30 second sequence Bret Boone referred to Hideki Matsui as "Hank" and Tim McCarver as "Jimmy."
I loved that.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 8:01 pm
Now, tell me there’s not a resemblance there…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:02 pm
As tHom dwells on Matt’s inconsistent nature, he strikes out evil Alex.
One down.
The great Rick Helling is up.
Chip Caray
on October 11, 2003 at 8:02 pm
Did you folks realize that Clement and D-Train were traded for each other? And has anyone see Beeege?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:03 pm
The biggest resemblance between Dontrelle and Mason is that five years ago they were both dating 16 year olds.
Only, five years ago Dontrelle was 16, too.
Helling grounds to good Alex.
Two down.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:04 pm
Nice job by E-ramis on a high chopper and he throws out Pierre.
(Phil Rizzuto voice) Kid’s got an arm!
After three. Cubs 6, Marlins 0.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:05 pm
Me rikey!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:06 pm
Dennis
on October 11, 2003 at 8:06 pm
I like this ump tonight…..sure he has a pea sized moving zone, but since Clement gets so many strikes swinging at bad balls it will not matter as much. On the other hand, the Cubs can just walk all night long.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:07 pm
Not THAT Jan Stephenson, you boob.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:07 pm
Fox with a shot of a very gay Cubs fan wearing neon lights and a big Cubs logo.
Somebody hold me. And not him.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:08 pm
Was that Wanny?
Go home, Dave, your mustache is scaring Hee Sop.
Chip Caray
on October 11, 2003 at 8:09 pm
Everyone knows that’s a fake picture – I could never wear white!
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:09 pm
Lofton was not a basketball star.
He made Corey Beck look like John Stockton.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:09 pm
Hey, Kenny wasn’t THAT good at Arizona. Steve Kerr and our buddies Tom Tolbert and Jud Buechler did the havey lifting.
And some punks named Elliott and Rooks.
Anyway, Kenny walks.
Are these still the Cubs?
Wow.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:11 pm
Sean Rooks looks like Randall Simon.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:11 pm
Is Lofton the position player MVP of this series?
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 8:11 pm
Al sez Shelling should finish the game to save the bullpen and I see 20 runs a possibility tonight.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:12 pm
Did I write "havey lifting". Somewhere Alan Havey just got fired up.
Anyway, KD, somewhere there’s a photo of Jan from about 10 years ago. She’s naked and lying in a bathtub full of golf balls.
If Se Re Pak ever did that I’d poke my eyeballs out.
And, if Michelle Wie did it, we’d all go to jail with Rob Goldman.
Gruddy having a rough night. He strikes out. The ball gets by Pudge, Mark doesn’t run, but Kenny goes to second.
One out.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:13 pm
Sorry kids, the scoreboard is relevant.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:14 pm
Al says that to Rick Helling "the scoreboard is irrelevant". That would explain that lofty career ERA.
Lyons is touting Helling for a World Series start.
What, are the Cubs going to trade for him this weekend?
Sammy K’s. Maybe Psycho’s on to something!
Nah.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:15 pm
Really awkward TV moment. Fox again showing Al gripping a ball, with tHom in the background trying to look interested.
Hilarious.
Rules Nerd
on October 11, 2003 at 8:16 pm
Grudz was not allowed to run because first base was occupied.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 8:16 pm
For the second night in a row, Big Al expains that a cut fastball is a fastball that cuts. I hope we all got it that time.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:16 pm
Marcus Fizer is shooting free throws on the other Fox channel, and he looks HUGE.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:16 pm
Moises loops one to right, scoring Lofton.
It’s pouring here in Durand. The TV’s flickering too.
So if the power goes, you will all have to soldier on without me.
OK, it’s not that likely.
MK
on October 11, 2003 at 8:17 pm
helling has now thrown more pitches then clement in relief
The Devil
on October 11, 2003 at 8:18 pm
Andy, I can make you the same deal I gave thee good Alex. Interested?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:18 pm
Matt Clement is taking a nap in the Cubs dugout.
E-ramis walks.
Bobby Bonilla and Rickey
on October 11, 2003 at 8:20 pm
Go fish.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:20 pm
Karros flies to left.
But the Cubs get a run.
After three and a half, they’re up by a touchdown.
MK
on October 11, 2003 at 8:22 pm
can we get Eliza to throw out the first pitch tomorrow?
JK
on October 11, 2003 at 8:23 pm
Just drove down to my cousins in St. Louis, its ok he is a Cubs fan. (See: he has a full set of teeth) But my point, I saw at least four 82 ford pickups pulling 73 ford pickups… what a great city.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 8:24 pm
score, KD?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:26 pm
42, 38 — Bulls, 8 minutes left in the first half.
Toni Kukoc shaved.
Tyson Chandler is a beast.
Dennis
on October 11, 2003 at 8:28 pm
If I did my math right, the FLA starters ERA in this series is a robust 10.90.
Weren’t some saying their starters were comparible to ours?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:29 pm
These are the Cubs?
And Mattus, we finally have another NBA columnist who spells "Spre" correctly:
Damian doesn’t strike out, but he flies out to right. That’s progress?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:35 pm
Clement wins and Fox has a shot of a fat bald guy who left the plastic wrap he tied off with before his heroin injection still on his arm.
Oh, and he’s sitting in a hot tub.
Blecch.
Still 7-0 Cubs.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:36 pm
Domers won.
Curry’s ass is still fat, but not as fat as it was. He’s making some Damien Miller-like progress.
Chandler keeps missing tip-ins, but those two are all over the boards.
TJ Ford can play.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:37 pm
Notre Dame passed for THIRTY-THREE yards and won 20-14. Wow, that must have been purdy to watch.
They’re 2-3 now and Insight.com Bowl bound!
Whoo hoo!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:38 pm
TJ Ford can play, but TJ Ford can’t shoot. I’m not saying…I’m just saying.
Chad Ford is reporting that Michael Jordan’s ass tastes like pez.
Cabrera singles to lead off the fifth.
Scottie Pippen
on October 11, 2003 at 8:38 pm
What channel are the Bulls on?
Eddie Robinson
on October 11, 2003 at 8:39 pm
Channel 640.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:39 pm
Lowell lines to Karros, he drops it, so no double play, but he forces Lowell. Cabrera at second. One out.
Scottie, you can’t get the Bulls where you are, unless your Pro Player Park skybox has DirecTV.’
Which it might. OK, channel 639 then.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:41 pm
Now, Andy, how could Chad Ford eat MJ’s ass out when Chad’s head is so clearly up his own ass?
Let’s be realistic.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:43 pm
tHom is trying to convince viewers that the Cubs 7-0 lead is in jeopardy. That could be true, but Nate Bump warming up in the Fishpen tells me otherwise.
Conine reaches on a little infield chopper. Runners at the corners, one out.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:43 pm
How can Matt Clement pitch and date J-Lo at the same time?
I prefer watching games in Texas, because there everyone is carrying heat in their cars….
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:45 pm
TJ Ford destroyed Crawford with a crossover, 60-56 at the half — Bucks.
Bulls still can’t defend.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:46 pm
J. Lo in natural lighting. Just another fairly pretty Hispanic girl.
Ben should move on to another skank, shortly.
Alex Gonzalez throws out his evil twin. Two outs, but the Marlins cut the lead to SIX!
Ahh!
Fox with a shot of Don Zimmer being taken out of Fenway on a stretcher.
Yikes.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:47 pm
Todd Hollandsworth is up, Dusty better bring in Joe!
Hollandsworth proves no one can get him out. He singles and lead is down to FIVE!
Hide the kids!
Larry Rothschild to the mound.
Larry: "Hey, stop giving up runs, OK?"
Matt: "OK."
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 8:48 pm
When talking about how brilliant don Zimmer is, why don’t they mention the Lee Smith for Calvin Schiraldi and Oil Can Boyd trade?
That was a BRILLIANT move!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:50 pm
Pierre flies to left. tHom is excited that it’s now 7-2, but really, the Marlins have yet to hit the ball hard.
Oh, and Nate Bump is coming for them, so the Cubs lead will be back to seven here in a minute.
After five, Cubs lead by five.
Bucky F. Dent
on October 11, 2003 at 8:51 pm
Hi Don Zimmer.
Remember me?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:51 pm
Al Nipper.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:51 pm
On WGN-TV, Dean Wormer is doing a guest shot on McMillan and Wife. Damn, the Trib knows what quality TV we like. Don’t they?
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 8:52 pm
If it was Dez White trying to catch that Vaaze falling out of that SUV, they’d still be filming it….
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:52 pm
Actually, Oil Can Boyd would have been a better "get." That’s sad.
Lofton leading off the sixth.
Kenny tries to bunt on Bump. He’s out.
Huh?
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 8:53 pm
OK Nipper. He sucked just as badly…
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:53 pm
"Money Pit" is on too.
You may remember that one as the terrible movie that Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore ripped-off to make their own terrible movie.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:54 pm
Gruddy lines to second, as Fox shows that same bald, fat guy literally wallowing in that hot tub.
Make it stop.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:55 pm
Hey, nobody can carry a movie like Shelley Long.
What’s on next, Troop Beverly Hills?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:56 pm
Bump strikes out Sammy.
tHom is getting excited!
Tone it down Marlins fan boy.
After five and a half, Cubs 7, Marlins 2.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 8:56 pm
Rip it off, Drew:
Chip Caray
on October 11, 2003 at 8:56 pm
Did I tell you that Beeege has a hot tub too? Has ANYONE seen him? Beeege? BEEEGE?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:58 pm
How much did McDonald’s pay Justin Timberlake to write their new jingle and appear in the commercials for like half a second?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 8:59 pm
Big deal, who HASN’T Drew flashed?
tHom and Psycho are fired up about the Marlins in this sixth inning.
Castillo leads off by grounding to third.
One out.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:00 pm
I don’t know about any of you, but that makes me want to run out and get get some of thier tasty food.
Aside to Matt Clement – Wear a hat when you do interviews.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:00 pm
Nice shot of Pulpo with a clipboard in the bullpen. Which fingers does he hold the pen between?
Pudge singles.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:01 pm
tHom can’t believe the question "Who got the better end of the Willis-Clement trade" went to the Cubs. You know, this game here, which featured the two, might have given them some reason to vote that way.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:02 pm
I voed for the Cub’s bullpen, but I thought the question was "which one has the most fingers"?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:02 pm
Lee flies to center.
Two out.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 9:03 pm
I know a girl who is in one of those new commercials.
She freaked me out when I met her, and I don’t mind admitting this, because I thought I’d seen her in some internet porn.
That’s always fun.
Clement still has some movement.
Steve Lyons and Al Leiter needs to stop touching each other.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:03 pm
Cabrera flies to left.
Stop the panic.
After six. Cubs by five.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:05 pm
Internet porn. What did the world do without it?
Just think, if Kobe were more into Internet porn he’d be just another superstar shooting guard.
What are the odds that sometime this season, Kobe argues with a ref, and then bends him over one of the chairs on the bench?
OK, maybe not.
Tom Dore just outed Pax for picking his nose on camera.
This just in: Tyson Chandler is good.
MK
on October 11, 2003 at 9:06 pm
the reason the cubs won the poll is cuz the florida bandwangoneers turned off after the first…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:07 pm
You know it’s the preseason when Dan Gadzuric and Antonio Meeking are getting some quality minutes.
Matt Clement is taking another nap in the dugout. He then looked right at the camera. That’s always creepy.
I’m calling a Moises Alou homer right here.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:07 pm
Moises’ homer is robbed by the shortstop. One out.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:08 pm
Did I say Moises? I meant E-ramis of course.
His second homer, his sixth RBI. The Cubs lead is back to six and it’s 8-2.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 9:08 pm
The Cubs-fan organist plays "Take the A Train" again and A/E-Train hits a homer, again.
E-Ramirez
on October 11, 2003 at 9:08 pm
Nnote to self: 8 years, 196mm
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:09 pm
Psycho beaks out a lame "What you talking ’bout Willis" joke. It’d have been OK, if he’d have used it six innings ago.
Hey, Brad Penny is up in the Fishpen!
We love him! Bring him in.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:10 pm
As Karros whiffs, Psycho says that Pittsburgh would like E-ramis back.
They can’t have him.
He’s all ours.
And he’s goooooooooooooooood.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:11 pm
Gonzo lines to…uh…Alex Gonzalez.
The Cubs get one back.
Afer six and a half, Cubs 8, Marlins 2.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 9:12 pm
…whereas all the Cubs bandwagoners are still hitched onto the horse…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:13 pm
Johnny Red Kerr just said, "Darvin Ham job."
I’m crying now.
What the hell’s a Stempin?
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 9:14 pm
This just in:
Jamal Crawford is even better.
Anthony Mason was waived today but Desmond Mason still has to wear his "D. Mason" jersey.
Jim Edmonds
on October 11, 2003 at 9:14 pm
Did somebody just mention a horse?
Can I "ride" him.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
You know what they say. If you fall of the horse, lube up your crack and get right back on him.
KD
on October 11, 2003 at 9:15 pm
And why is a Stempin on your TV?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:16 pm
Lowell flies to Sosa.
How cute, Jeff Conine thinks Jeffrey Loria isn’t too cheap to keep these Fish together. He’ll have no desire to pay anybody anything.
He’s the Don Sterling of the MLB.
Mongo
on October 11, 2003 at 9:16 pm
Or you just punch him out…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:17 pm
Niner grounds to E-ramis, nice dig by Karros.
Check out that last sentence. Yeesh.
Ahh..he’s of the Toledo Stempins, apparently.
Ham job. I love it.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 9:18 pm
Talking playoffs, mate?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:18 pm
Holy crap. Are the Cubs about to be one win away from the World Series and the Fox broadcasters are spending two innings on AJ Burnett?
Who is on the DL, by the way?
Yikes.
Clement strikes out evil Alex.
Shut the bullpen. No need for it tonight.
After seven. Cubs 8, Marlins 2.
Hamm's Beer Attorney
on October 11, 2003 at 9:20 pm
If you keep violating our trademark, I’ll have no choice but to ligitgate you to death!
Thora Birch
on October 11, 2003 at 9:20 pm
DOLAN!! You one-nut two-timer, what’s with all the pics of this floozy Edwina whatever when you know I’m hotter than Biggio’s worn-out anus. Show me some love Cubbie boy!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:20 pm
We’re going to have to devise some format for NBA GameCasts this year.
Obviously we might as well ditch any attempt at play by play and just mock the action.
Any ideas?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:22 pm
Crap!
Sorry Thora. But first, I forgot to tell you that E-ramis’ second homer was brought to you by Eliza Dushku.
Mattus
on October 11, 2003 at 9:23 pm
Mock the action? I can’t imagine why that would be an option???
Maybe larger quantity commentary, time-out to timeout, perhaps.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:24 pm
Damian Miller singles. What the hell, it’s 8-2.
Clement’s bunt is popped up.
Jeannie Zelasko has news that the Red Sox groundscrew guy who got in a fight was attacked by Jeff Nelson and Karim Garcia.
For some reason, though, tHom and Psycho and now Al are saying it was the groundscrew guy’s fault. I think Jeannie just said otherwise.
Lofton singles.
Oh, BTW, Brad Penny is the new hurler and just like Wednesday night, he sucks.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:25 pm
Gruddy grounds one to Penny. The runners advance.
Let’s see if McKeon walks Sammy with first open and a six run deficit.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:27 pm
Steve is now talking about Chad Krueter hat day. Hey, I WANTED that hat, OK. Screw Kreueter, if I’d known it was him, I’d have stolen somebody else’s.
Anyway…
McKeon calls for the intentional walk, Moises is up.
Al says he guarantees that nobody in the Yankees bullpen is stupid enough to attack a guy just for pumping his fists.
Jeff Nelson is exactly THAT stupid.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:28 pm
Should I mention my computer sucks?
LET’S GO CUBS!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:28 pm
Alou grounds out.
The Cubs don’t score.
But, after seven and a half, Cubs 8, Marlins 2.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:30 pm
BC, get that computer ship-shape by tomorrow, you don’t want to miss chiming on in the pennant clincher.
Wow, Brian Bosworth is the TBS college football expert. That’ll legitimize your football telecast. Yikes.
Missouri just upset Nebraska 31-24.
Muahahahahahahaha.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:31 pm
Lenny Harris to lead off the eighth.
Eight more outs!
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:32 pm
I just ruined my own lame joke my miscounting.
Five more outs!
I know, too late.
JK
on October 11, 2003 at 9:32 pm
You mean 5 more outs.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:32 pm
Can Thom say anything about any player not based on Cincy, Arizona, or the Marlins?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:33 pm
tHom says maybe Lenny Harris can’t do it anymore.
Steve says it’s not fair because Lenny sat on the bench most of the year.
Uh..no. He played waaaaaay too much third base for us this year.
Ugh. Lenny walks.
JK
on October 11, 2003 at 9:33 pm
Mizzou sucks… and being in Missouri makes me feel like I have the HIV.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:34 pm
Bad news, Lenny’s on. Good news, hit fat ass will clog up any running Juan Pierre or Luis Castillo might want to do this inning.
Thora Birch
on October 11, 2003 at 9:34 pm
Sigh……..
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:35 pm
The evil in my computer has been shocked and awed. :-) It should be fine to go for tomorrow.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:36 pm
Clement is looking like he’s having an asthma flare up.
Pierre gets Lenny off the bases by grounding to E-ramis. Harris out at second. Pierre on first.
Throw him out again Damian.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:36 pm
The sad thing is that Illinois lost to Missouri… Oh wait, Illinois loses to EVERYBODY!!!
Now here comes Thommy with the 1945 mention.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:37 pm
See Thora, a little self promotion never hurt.
Nice how tHom previewed tomorrow’s start and said "Neither pitcher did well, but Beckett was victimized by a bad first inning."
And that makes it OK? Was it worse that Carlos’ bad inning was the third?
Shut up, tHom.
JK
on October 11, 2003 at 9:38 pm
Illnois basketball will at least be good. Is Shoop helping the Illini this year?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:39 pm
Turner = Shoop.
Of course, Thom just screwed up a playoff history of the Cubs reference.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:39 pm
Castillo taps out to Clement. Pierre to second.
Hey, Fox just told us that the Cubs haven’t won a World Series since 1908!
Is that true?
Who knew?
Dusty is coming to get Matt, who did a great job. The Farns is coming on to face Pudge and cut off that all important third run.
Or something.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:40 pm
Andy singing:
"Breathe in!
Buh-reath ih-uh-ih-uh-in!"
I love the OC! And yet, I’ve never seen it.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:41 pm
Shoop sure isn’ helping that McCaskey team… but really helps the "under".
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:41 pm
One of the "Skin" commercials has a Pete Yorn tune in it. Always a nice touch.
Did you know that Pete’s brother is a movie producer and to launch Pete’s career he managed to get his songs put on a dozen different soundtracks?
Of course you didn’t.
Me likey Pete Yorn, though.
Now, back to the Cubs.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:42 pm
Farnsy in. Surely El Pulpo will get a chance, won’t he?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:43 pm
Matt Clement has a big grin on his face. He looks like he just got paroled.
Pudge greets Farns with a double to (guess) RIGHT field. 8-3 Cubs now.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:43 pm
Man, the Farns is starting to struggle. Soon enough Dusty is only going to have two people he can trust in that pen.
clement
on October 11, 2003 at 9:44 pm
Why not save Farnsworth for tomorrow’s game???
El pulpo
on October 11, 2003 at 9:44 pm
Put me in coach, I can play, today, center field.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:45 pm
tHom wants to get excited so badly, it’s pathetic.
Lee lines to second.
After eight.
Cubs 8, Marlins 3.
JK
on October 11, 2003 at 9:45 pm
Is Rothschild Todd Wellemeyer’s dad?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:46 pm
Perhaps Farns’ knee numbness has crept up to his head?
No, wait, that’s always numb.
OK, here we go, I just got the full name.
WHO IS GREG STEMPIN AND WHY IS HE ON MY TV?
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:47 pm
Wait, wait, wait. Kirk Hinrich is number 12? You mean they didn’t retire it for Bruce Bowen?
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:48 pm
Oh yeah, forgot to say earlier…
ARAMIS IS GOOD!
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:48 pm
Greg Stempin Signs Free-Agent Contract with Milwaukee Bucks
Former Rocket ranks third on school’s all-time scoring list with 1,705 points
Oct. 1, 2003
Toledo, OH – Former Rocket Greg Stempin has signed a free-agent contract with the NBA’s Milwaukee Bucks, Milwaukee’s General Manager Larry Harris announced on Tuesday. Stempin is part of the Bucks’ training camp roster which currently stands at 17 players.
Stempin has played the past two seasons in the NBDL and averaged 9.2 points, 4.4 rebounds and 1.4 assists in 45 games last year between Huntsville and Columbus. He earned All-NBDL honorable mention honors with Fayetteville in the 2001-02 campaign afer averaging a team-high 15.7 points (4th in the NBDL), with 6.2 rebounds, 1.7 assists and 1.0 steal per game over 48 games.
Stempin finished his Rocket career in third place on the school’s all-time scoring list with 1,705 points and tied for sixth on the all-time rebounding list with 836 boards. He is one of four Rockets ever to be a three-time first-team All-MAC selection after receiving the honor following his sophomore, junior and senior campaigns
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:49 pm
Carl Pavano in to mop up.
E-ramis strikes out. What has he done for us lately?
Oh, never mind.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:50 pm
And his mom has a bumper sticker –
Proud parent of an Honorable Mention All-NBDL player on her car….
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:50 pm
Thank you pd.
Castillo robs Karros of a single.
Two down.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:52 pm
Hey, Steve just gave a shout out to the St. Louis fans!
Like this guy.
Gonzo strikes out. The Cubs are going to have to hold on to a scant five run lead.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:53 pm
PS: the Rockets they refer to ain’t in Denver, it’s in Toledo OH, the city by the lake that burns.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:54 pm
Hey, our first Tru Calling commercial.
Eliza did you see that?
MK
on October 11, 2003 at 9:54 pm
Conspirisy Theory – FOX wanted Clemens to win his 300th on thier saturday telecast and the Cubbies spoiled it so now they are less than enthused about covering the Cubs in October – unless it’s in the world series where they’ll be pulling for some new york revenge with Buckhead and Idoit Boy calling the game…
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:54 pm
Nah…tHom’s just a prick.
Farnsy in to face Cabrera.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:55 pm
Nice play by Gruddy to get Cabrera on a high hopper. Looks like Miguel might have beaten it. The ump wants to go home, too.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:57 pm
Lyons says that Luis Castillo DIDN’T make a bad baserunning play last night to end the game.
Whatever, dipshit.
That’s one of the worst baserunning plays OF ALL TIME.
There’s no excuse, the plays in front of you and you run right into an out. Terrible.
Farnsy blows Lowell away.
I think we see now how truly lucky Lowell was to hit that homer in game one. He’s got nothing right now.
Two down.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:58 pm
One more out to ONE more win…
To the WORLD SERIES…
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 9:58 pm
Big Al said eVERYONE would be caught on that play – well, I know Lenny F. Harris would have done it….
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 9:59 pm
Grounder to Gruddy. CUBS WIN!!!!
The final, 8-3. The Desipio player of the game is E-ramis Ramirez.
The Cubs are one game away from the National League pennant. And Carlos gets a second chance to kill the Marlins. I think he’ll do much better.
The Cubs have to fly home tomorrow night, they might as well bring the NL Championship trophy with them.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 10:00 pm
How cruel is it to have Joththth Lewin interview Aramith Ramithreth?
Where did that lisp come from? It’s hilarious.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard E-ramis talk before.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 10:01 pm
This win, like last night’s brought to you by Eliza Dushku.
Andy
on October 11, 2003 at 10:02 pm
Thanks to all of you who read along, those who posted and we will see you here tomorrow afternoon as the Cubs…dare we speak it aloud?…try to win their first pennant in 58 years.
Wake the kids, call the neighbors, it’s going to happen.
See you tomorrow.
Go Cubs.
B.C.
on October 11, 2003 at 10:02 pm
Again, I say…
Fox asks how do you say "sucker" in French.
I know the answer: French.
Thanks, I’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.
p. d.
on October 11, 2003 at 10:02 pm
More Greg Stempin Facts:
Greg Stempin
Class:
Senior
Hometown:
Macomb, MI
High School:
Harper Woods Notre Dame
Height / Weight:
6-8 / 220
Position:
Forward
Birthdate:
05/10/1979
2000-01 All-America Candidate
1999-2000 First-Team All-MAC
1998-99 First-Team All-MAC
Highlights
Outlook: Team captain…Looking to become the fourth Rocket ever to earn First-Team All-MAC honors three straight years…Preseason All-MAC selection…Ranks 28th on UT’s all-time scoring list with 1,101 points…Athletic and versatile big man who can score inside or outside… Excellent student…Holds a 3.047 GPA in finance.
1999-2000:
Named first-team All-MAC for second straight season…Scored in double figures in 24 of 27 games, including the first 14 and last 10 contests of the season…Missed four games (Jan. 12-22) due to right elbow sprain…Had six double-doubles…Six games with 20+ points… Career-high 27 points at Youngstown State (Dec. 20)…21-point, career-high 18-rebound effort vs. Appalachian State in first round of Marquette’s Coca-Cola Classic (Dec. 3)…11th in the MAC in scoring (15.7 ppg), fourth in rebounding (8.1 rpg)…Led or tied for the team lead in scoring in 12 games…All-tournament team selection at Hawaii Pacific Classic (Nov. 26-28) and Marquette’s Coca-Cola Classic (Dec. 3-4)… MAC Defensive Player of the Week (Feb. 7) following wins over Miami and Buffalo.
1998-99:
Named first-team All-MAC and first-team Academic All-MAC…Scored in double figures in 24 of 28 games…Had eight double-doubles…Six games with 20+ points…Season-high 25 points vs. Miami (Feb. 1)…23-point, 10-rebound performance vs. Xavier in first round of NIT (March 10)…Ninth in the MAC in scoring (15.3 ppg), fourth in rebounding (7.4 rpg) and fifth in field goal percentage (.512)…MAC Offensive Player of the Week (Dec. 14) following performance in wins over Xavier and Dayton…MAC Defensive Player of the Week (Dec. 27) following win at Western Michigan…23 points vs. Xavier (Dec. 9)…Season-high 15 rebounds at George Mason (Nov. 24).
1997-98:
Appeared in all 27 games, making eight starts…Started the last seven games of the season…Contributed 9.2 points and 5.0 rebounds a contest…Named to the MAC All-Newcomer team…Led the team and finished ninth in the MAC in 3-point field goal percentage with 39.7 percent (29-of-73)…Finished second on the team with 10 blocks…First career start vs. Youngstown State (Dec. 30) in finals of MVP Classic…Named to Holiday Classic all-tournament team after notching 17 points and 12 rebounds in two games…Had 16 points and nine boards vs. UW-Milwaukee (Nov. 26)…Scored season-high 19 points and grabbed 10 rebounds in overtime loss at Wisconsin (Dec. 9)…Scored 15 points and had eight rebounds in loss to Western Michigan (Jan. 24)…18 points, including 3-of-6 from three-point land in heartbreaking loss at Eastern Michigan (Feb. 25)…Capped off freshman campaign with a 13-point, five-rebound performance in the MAC Tournament quarterfinal game at EMU (Feb. 28).
High School (Harper Woods Notre Dame):
As a Senior — Detroit News Dream Team…All-state (Class B)…All-district, all-metro, all-Catholic…League MVP…Team captain…Participated in Michigan All-Star Game and Wendy’s Classic…Averaged 28 points, 12 rebounds and four assists per game…As a Junior — All-state (Class B)…All-district, all-metro, all-Catholic…League MVP…Team captain…Averaged 27 points, 11 rebounds and three assists per game…Career — Set school scoring records for a game (53) and career (1,704)…Had a total of 100 points in his last two high school games (53 and 47, respectively)…Played basketball for coach Mike Maltese…Earned four letters in basketball and three in track…Was all-state in track as a junior, finishing second at the state meet in the high jump with a school-record jump of 6-8…Finished with 3.8 GPA.
Personal:
Full name: Gregory John Stempin…Age: 21 (born May 10, 1979)…The son of Ron and Elaine Stempin…Father is a union president, mother is a sales consultant…Has two older brothers…Hobbies include golf, tennis and fishing…Enrolled in the College of Business, majoring in pre-business.
10 Questions For Greg Stempin
What is your favorite movie?
“Rudy.â€
Who is your favorite athlete?
Larry Bird.
Whom do you admire most other than your mother or father?
Brett Fedak, because he led us through many tough times in the 1998-99 season.
What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
“No matter what happens, never give up. Fight to the end.†– My father.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I had the ability to gain weight a little faster.
Who is the most impressive person you’ve ever met?
My brother Ron, because no matter what happens to him he never seems to get upset or lose his cool.
What person from history would you like to meet?
John F. Kennedy, because I admired his leadership and honesty.
What have been the greatest moments so far in your life?
Beating Ohio State and Xavier in 199 and winning 11 games in a row last year.
You could have chosen other schools. Why did you come to UT?
It was close to home and I felt like it was the best place for me to win a championship.
What are your career plans?
I would like a future in basketball and running my own business.
Career Highs
Points: 27 at Youngstown State (12/20/99)
Rebounds: 18 vs. Appalachian State (12/3/99)
Assists: 6 vs. Central Michigan (2/26/00)
Blocks: 4 vs. Florida International (11/27/99)
Steals: 4 (twice, last at Youngstown State (12/20/99)
3-Pt. FG’s: 4 (twice, last at Ohio (12/18/99)
Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that Steve Lyons and Al Leiter seem to think that the Marlins are the greatest team since the ’27 Yankees. Even when Willis throws 15 pitches to Ramirez and Ramirez ends up getting an RBI single that Willis came out ahead in the at-bat.
B.C.
on October 12, 2003 at 12:07 pm
The Fox announcers are desperate to see the Marlins win, that’s for sure.
Hello again everybody. While most of us still haven’t recovered from last night’s rollercoaster, we are ready for another turn in line.
On the pregame show Steve Stone just announced that the Marlins are going to put Miguel Cabrera in right field and will start Mike Lowell at third base. This makes no sense, given that Cabrera has played plenty of games in left, and Jeff Conine can play right. But then, this is Jack McKeon we’re talking about here and he still thinks that he’s managing Garry Templeton and Steve Garvey.
The Cubs face one of their old farm-hands, Dontrelle Willis. Dontrelle has been getting lit up lately, and that shouldn’t change. Plus, if you get to him early, he doesn’t bat. He was 3-3 in the NLDS with a triple.
Maybe they should play him in right?
No matter how wild things were in Miami last night, they’re just plain stupid in Boston.
Fat, bald, dopey old man Don Zimmer charged Pedro Martinez during the game today and ended up on his sizable caboose.
And now, a Boston Red Sox groundskeeper just had a tussle with Yankees outfielder Karim Garcia.
I had no idea William Ligue got a new job? He doesn’t look like the type to ever have one.
My ‘roids flared up and MTV signed me to a contract because Pedro Punk’d me on my ass during our game.
Those of you who followed along with last night’s game know that most of the key moments of that one were brought to us by the hottest woman on Fox, Eliza Dushku. She’s back today.
And, tonight’s GameCast is sponsored by both Eliza and…Roto Rooter?
Much appreciated Eliza pictures, especially after having to watch Johnny Damon for three hours.
Kevin Kennedy is trying to defend Zimmer’s bush league attack on Pedro by saying that in 1959 Don got hit in the head and almost died.
It is true that Don freaks out whenever anybody gets hit in the melon. In 1989 Mitch Williams took a line drove off his skull and Zimmer puked all over the Cubs dugout.
Then again, I remember hearing about the Rafael Palmeiro-Mitch Williams trade and puking all over my shoes. So that’s no excuse.
Here’s tonight’s Fox pregame if I’m in the booth with tHomm, Steve and Al.
tHom: "Cubs starter Matt Clement can be dominant at times, other times he’s not."
Steve: "He’s got the potential to be a 20 game winner some day."
Andy: "When he gets beat it’s because he pitches like a big time pussy. Kind of like you, Al, when you pitched for the Blue Jays."
Al: "Screw you Dolan, you hack!"
Andy: "Hey, shouldn’t you be working out and getting ready to lead the Mets to another 65 win season?"
tHomm: "Mommy!"
Hey, I’ve got even better seats than last night! Sweet.
Desipio’s scouting report on Dontrelle Willis.
Good, lively left arm.
Bad teeth.
Wears his baseball cap over his ears like a kid who may have ridden the short bus to school
Speaking of the short bus, does Grady Little have an assigned seat on it?
Hey, are you kidding? Did Dontrelle Willis get traded for Matt Clement? Really?
Thank God Fox just reminded us for the 1,233,342th time this year.
But really, don’t forget the great El Pulpo, he was the key to the deal.
Woof.
Doesn’t tHomm Brennaman’s head look like an upside down bowling pin?
tHom and Steve are fascinated by the Cubs actually scoring runs. Hey, anybody think that maybe the Marlins pitching is lousy?
Nah.
Al likes Dontrelle’s character and charisma.
Charisma never got anybody out.
But speaking of Charisma, did you know that Eliza Dushku used to star on a TV show with Charisma Carpenter?
You got it. The upcoming first pitch is brought to you by Eliza Dushku.
Nice to hear my favorite band selling out for "That 70’s Show."
Now I need more Eliza pictures to get Elliot Randall out of my head.
Both teams are decked out in the stupid BP jersey tops again.
Th Cubs are using the same lineup as last night. Well, of course, I mean other than the pitcher.
Thanks for the good press! Now I hope I don’t have to pitch so you can’t rail on me again tonight!
Lyons just called him Dontrelle Williams. Nice.
Willis, Williams whatever, just walked Lofton to start the game.
Any time, Pulpo.
Lyons referred to Rickey Henderson as just Rickey. He was afraid he’d call him Rickey Hendrickson.
Lyons said The Equalizer is behind home plate? The old assassin guy from the CBS show? Cool.
BTW, Notre Dame hanging on to a 17-14 lead at Pitt.
Yeah, you don’t care. I know.
I like you Williams.
That’s Willis
Whatever
Gruddy strikes out. Not even a threat of a bunt. Hmmm.
Rickey’s transcendent.
Rickey now has no use for a last name.
Hey Ty, is Lacy Underall here?
If Rickey is transcendent, how can we see him?
Dontrelle’s ears are creeping me out. Sort of like Kylie Minogue’s.
Sammy walks on four pitches. Not a lot of strikes coming out of Willis’ hand right now.
Check your underwear, Steve.
The last time I had sex with Kylie I made her wear a stocking cap. I know what you mean, KD.
Wait, the Cubs drafted Willis?
And traded him?
For Matt Clement and … wait, Clement’s starting tonight?!?!
FOX RULES!
Shades of Ankiel.
Sammy walks, and a trip to the mound…..
Irod: are you ever going to throw a strike?
DW: I would, but I’ve been getting POUNDED lately.
Irod: Yup
Hey, a photo op for Pulpo!
Willis is all over the place. Sort of like me on prom night.
Who is Wayne Rosenthal and why is he on my TV?
Wayne? Really?
Al says Willis isn’t wild.
OK, Al.
He just walked the bases loaded.
That’s NOT wild?
Was that Kirk Hinrich in a Cubs jersey?
How will the Cubs fail to score?
Let me count the ways?
Patience guys, patience.
In the first inning, Steve tells us a Willis story they covered in the pregame show. He must know Dontrelle is not long for this game.
Or, he’s an idiot.
Wait, it’s Lyons. He’s an idiot.
Rick Helling up in the Fishpen.
Axl?
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAM E-RAMIS!
Four nothing Cubs.
A bomb.
Pirates is good people, 4-0.
I think we can officially declare the Dontrelle Willis Era ‘ov-uh.’
Go PIRATES!!!
All those legs and elbows sure fooled E-Ramis! Grand Slam!
Muhahahahahaha
She’s got eyes of the bluest skies and if they thought of rain, I’d hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.
So a Grand Slam isn’t just a breakfast option at Dennys. Its a good thing then
I am typing my missives from Lafayette, Indiana — where Axl grew up.
You can still hear him in the night, when the wind blows.
I know, I butchered the lyric, but I was trying to sing it and I think I just scared the neighbors.
Karros flies to right and Cabrera gets under it and judging by his smooth movements, while Castillo runs like Lonnie "Skates" Smith, Cabrera fields like him.
Muahahahahahahahaha.
Hey, the Cubs would never lose a game after a four run first, right?
Good Alex strikes out.
The Cubs have four runs and one hit.
That grand slam, of course was brought to you by Eliza Dushku. Oh, Eliza!
Note to self: 6 years – $105mm
On ESPN Mark Jones (doing the ND-Pitt game with Bob Davie-oh god) just used the word "troika" and I think he hurt himself.
ND up 20-14 with seven minutes left in the third.
That was nice wasn’t it?
We’re either scoring 4 or 15 tonight boys…
The Marlins lineup is different than last night.
So there. You’re welcome.
It’s the little fast guys, then the fat catcher then some righthanded sluggers and then bad Alex. I’m big on brevity.
Clement is a former Marlin? Just how did we get this guy?
Pierre with a leadoff single… Come on Matt do better than that.
Juan Pierre leads off the game with a single. I think tHom should remind us that the Marlins have not lost a game that Pierre or Castillo got a hit in, since…uh…last night.
Pierre tries to steal second and with the Cubs catchers, it’s the one thing they do well.
He’s meat at second.
One down.
Perfect throw.
If playoff games were only 1 innings, the Cubs would be undefeated.
Howdy Andy, KD everyone…
Castillo loops one to Sosa.
Two out.
Time for the Lemanski Shift on Pudge!
Come on, you all saw Bad News Bears, right?
Hey, our catcher can throw… That’s not Prior in disguise is it?
The Lemanski shift has Sammy in the proper spot. One, two, three go the Fish.
After one, Cubs 4, Marlins 0.
Now you’re on top, keep the pressure on. The Marlins won’t fold – this is a must-win for them. But the longer you can keep them doubting, the lower their chances of winning.
Everyone already knows that ‘Axl Rose’ is an acronym, right?
You want to know another reason why I hate Pudge Rodriguez? He’s always bitching about balls and strikes when he’s hitting. It just pisses the umps off and loses calls for his pitchers.
Miller strikes out.
OK…maybe not.
Another Sprint PCS question. Clement grounds to Lee.
Like we said last night, 98 percent of the people watching this game are Cubs fans, there’s no way they’ll lose any of these polls.
Suddenly the ump’s strike zone is huge. Ahh…you have to love these umps.
Lofton rolls to first.
After one and a half, Cubs 4, Marlins 0.
Lowell looks like Vance Law with a goatee.
Does it get better than walking back into the TV room while a woman purrs "I loooooove soft carpet" on the screen?
Can somebody find Dontrelle Willis some Nyquil??? He needs to settle down a little bit.
By the way:
Nyquil = addictive stuff…
Is ESPN billing these games "Shoulder Separation Saturday?" That seems a little morbid.
Four minutes left in the third, still ND 17, Pitt 14.
Clement plunks Derek Lee. Somebody kindly restrain Don Zimmer.
Clement isn’t starting innings well. He hits Derrek Lee to begin the 2nd.
Double play… Nice job Matt.
Everything up for Clement so far. Most guys enjoy getting it up, but it’s not a good thing for Matt.
Second pitch is that wicked slider for a strike.
Al keeps referring to Larry Rothschild as the best pitching coach in the game. Not that I disagree, but doesn’t that have to make the Mets pitching coach feel a little inadequate?
Clement forces Cabrera to ground into a routine 643.
Al Leiter is spinning a baseball at us now.
The revolutions WILL be televised!
This ump has no idea what the strike zone is.
Clement walks Lowell.
Al brings up Rothschild and, somewhere, Flannel Boy is incorrectly correcting him.
When Lyons talks about pitching, does he think anybody listens to him.
Actually, the same goes for when he talks about hitting.
Al just called Conine "Niner." How cute.
Niner whiffs on a slider.
After two, still 4-0.
Notre Dame fails on two cracks to gain a yard. Still 20-14 in Pitt.
I said 17-14 last time, didn’t I? Yeah, ND was not penalized three points at any time. Oops.
What would Jared do?
Get addicted to crystal meth and then tell the world he lost 18 trillion pounds because of Subway, when, in fact, he only used the Subway bathroom for knobbing guys off for quick cash so he could buy more pairs of GIANT FRRUCKERRIN’ PANTS!!!
Whew, blacked out for a while there …
Does Fox ever SELL any commercials? Yet another Joe Millionaire one. However, I’ll admit I’m getting a crush on the bug eyed blonde who says, "He’s riiiiiiich!"
Gruddy flies to right. One out.
Ya think for Joe Millionaire they will dust out Crackers Eurotrash Girl for the theme song?
I think Jared used to do commercials for the crystal meth diet. That one never caught on, though.
The D-train issues a free pass to Sammy again.
D-train. What a stupid ass nickname.
Here’s Mo!
Oh, never mind.
Mo singles. E-ramis is up, and he smells a seven RBI night.
Even the Marlins organist is a Cub fan. He/she just played "Take the A-Train" as A-ramis walked up to the plate.
Doesn’t that D-Train pic on the espn page look like Anthony Mason?
Anthony Mason.
Not really.
Anthony Mason.
Not really.
E-ramis did a Manny like stroll to first on that granny. That didn’t set tHom off?
Now he’s bitching that the Pirates traded our three pals to the Cubs.
Shut up, tHom.
Willis has thrown more pitches in two at bats to E-ramis than Clement has thrown, period.
E-ramis singles to right, Sammy scores, Moises to third and then E-ramis gets to second when the throw gets by Pudge.
5-0 Cubs.
Note to self; 7 years, $135mm
How the hell did I do that?
This is what happens when you stay away from a computer. All old white men start looking alike to you.
Three innings, five ribbies for A/E-Train.
Not that one!
Although that is pretty funny in itself…
Jack McKeon on the mound to see Dontrelle.
Jack: "Who are you son?"
Dontrelle: "Huh?"
Jack: "No, seriously, I have no idea who you are. Do you have any pudding? I like pudding."
Dontrelle: "I think I just made some in my shorts."
Jack: "Good, then."
"I need a job, foo’!!"
I wonder if Dontrelle’s Mom is still single.
I don’t care what Al says, that E-ramis at bat was disatrous for Dontrelle. He’s thrown like 70 pitches already.
If Dontrelle’s 21, how old is his mom, 34?
How does he get away with rubbing the baseball on his sweaty arm after every pitch.
Then again, maybe that’s why he can’t throw a strike.
Dontrelle’s momma is a welder. I have nothing.
Bye-bye Dontrelle.
Hello again, everybody. The bases are loaded and so am I!
Back to you, Andy.
You have nothing? So, no pudding?!?
I’m sorry I’m not very consistent tonight. My computer is throwing it in every which direction…
Karros walks to load them up, and Jack is out to collect on Dontrelle’s pudding deposit.
Rick Helling is coming in to get shelled and Eliza has a message for the D-Train.
Honesty compels me to say that D-Train doesn’t seem to have his usual good stuff today. Hey, did I tell you I’m watching he game att Biggio’s house?
Bobbi Flekman needs to go away.
Hey Jack!
Gonzo greets Helling with an RBI single. Six zip Cubs.
Who are these guys?
Lyons is raving about Dontrelle’s attitude. I think the Marlins fans wish that attitude had more strikes in it.
Did I tell you I’m typing this from a laptop I have in my attic?
Please help me.
Chip’s going all "Phil Spector" on me.
Damian Miller up.
643
436
or 123 DP?
I have no sympathy for you Craig. Your orifices only have to put up with Chip for a few weeks. We have him for six months. Just bite on something soft.
Miller strikes out looking.
Again.
Once again Damien strikes out without taking the bat off his shoulder. Must be saving his arm for the next steal attempt.
Jan Stephenson busted out the xenophobe stick today:
“This is probably going to get me in trouble, but the Asians are killing our (LPGA) tour. Absolutely killing it. Their lack of emotion, their refusal to speak English when they can speak English. They rarely speak."
Clement grounds to second. But the Cubs get two more.
After two and a half, 6-0 Cubs.
Ankiel.
AN-K-IELLLLLL…
Kelly,
Have google find you some Jan Stephenson photos from about 10 years ago. Smokin’.
By the way, my favorite part of the Red Sox – Yankees game was when in a 30 second sequence Bret Boone referred to Hideki Matsui as "Hank" and Tim McCarver as "Jimmy."
I loved that.
Now, tell me there’s not a resemblance there…
As tHom dwells on Matt’s inconsistent nature, he strikes out evil Alex.
One down.
The great Rick Helling is up.
Did you folks realize that Clement and D-Train were traded for each other? And has anyone see Beeege?
The biggest resemblance between Dontrelle and Mason is that five years ago they were both dating 16 year olds.
Only, five years ago Dontrelle was 16, too.
Helling grounds to good Alex.
Two down.
Nice job by E-ramis on a high chopper and he throws out Pierre.
(Phil Rizzuto voice) Kid’s got an arm!
After three. Cubs 6, Marlins 0.
Me rikey!
I like this ump tonight…..sure he has a pea sized moving zone, but since Clement gets so many strikes swinging at bad balls it will not matter as much. On the other hand, the Cubs can just walk all night long.
Not THAT Jan Stephenson, you boob.
Fox with a shot of a very gay Cubs fan wearing neon lights and a big Cubs logo.
Somebody hold me. And not him.
Was that Wanny?
Go home, Dave, your mustache is scaring Hee Sop.
Everyone knows that’s a fake picture – I could never wear white!
Lofton was not a basketball star.
He made Corey Beck look like John Stockton.
Hey, Kenny wasn’t THAT good at Arizona. Steve Kerr and our buddies Tom Tolbert and Jud Buechler did the havey lifting.
And some punks named Elliott and Rooks.
Anyway, Kenny walks.
Are these still the Cubs?
Wow.
Sean Rooks looks like Randall Simon.
Is Lofton the position player MVP of this series?
Al sez Shelling should finish the game to save the bullpen and I see 20 runs a possibility tonight.
Did I write "havey lifting". Somewhere Alan Havey just got fired up.
Anyway, KD, somewhere there’s a photo of Jan from about 10 years ago. She’s naked and lying in a bathtub full of golf balls.
If Se Re Pak ever did that I’d poke my eyeballs out.
And, if Michelle Wie did it, we’d all go to jail with Rob Goldman.
Gruddy having a rough night. He strikes out. The ball gets by Pudge, Mark doesn’t run, but Kenny goes to second.
One out.
Sorry kids, the scoreboard is relevant.
Al says that to Rick Helling "the scoreboard is irrelevant". That would explain that lofty career ERA.
Lyons is touting Helling for a World Series start.
What, are the Cubs going to trade for him this weekend?
Sammy K’s. Maybe Psycho’s on to something!
Nah.
Really awkward TV moment. Fox again showing Al gripping a ball, with tHom in the background trying to look interested.
Hilarious.
Grudz was not allowed to run because first base was occupied.
For the second night in a row, Big Al expains that a cut fastball is a fastball that cuts. I hope we all got it that time.
Marcus Fizer is shooting free throws on the other Fox channel, and he looks HUGE.
Moises loops one to right, scoring Lofton.
It’s pouring here in Durand. The TV’s flickering too.
So if the power goes, you will all have to soldier on without me.
OK, it’s not that likely.
helling has now thrown more pitches then clement in relief
Andy, I can make you the same deal I gave thee good Alex. Interested?
Matt Clement is taking a nap in the Cubs dugout.
E-ramis walks.
Go fish.
Karros flies to left.
But the Cubs get a run.
After three and a half, they’re up by a touchdown.
can we get Eliza to throw out the first pitch tomorrow?
Just drove down to my cousins in St. Louis, its ok he is a Cubs fan. (See: he has a full set of teeth) But my point, I saw at least four 82 ford pickups pulling 73 ford pickups… what a great city.
score, KD?
42, 38 — Bulls, 8 minutes left in the first half.
Toni Kukoc shaved.
Tyson Chandler is a beast.
If I did my math right, the FLA starters ERA in this series is a robust 10.90.
Weren’t some saying their starters were comparible to ours?
These are the Cubs?
And Mattus, we finally have another NBA columnist who spells "Spre" correctly:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2003/basketball/nba/10/09/beat.100803/index.html
Curry?
OK, I’m back. And none of you missed me.
Clement works a perfect fourth.
Gonzo leads off the fifth.
ND-Pitt is over and I have no idea who won.
Gonzo flies to Cabrera.
Damian doesn’t strike out, but he flies out to right. That’s progress?
Clement wins and Fox has a shot of a fat bald guy who left the plastic wrap he tied off with before his heroin injection still on his arm.
Oh, and he’s sitting in a hot tub.
Blecch.
Still 7-0 Cubs.
Domers won.
Curry’s ass is still fat, but not as fat as it was. He’s making some Damien Miller-like progress.
Chandler keeps missing tip-ins, but those two are all over the boards.
TJ Ford can play.
Notre Dame passed for THIRTY-THREE yards and won 20-14. Wow, that must have been purdy to watch.
They’re 2-3 now and Insight.com Bowl bound!
Whoo hoo!
TJ Ford can play, but TJ Ford can’t shoot. I’m not saying…I’m just saying.
Chad Ford is reporting that Michael Jordan’s ass tastes like pez.
Cabrera singles to lead off the fifth.
What channel are the Bulls on?
Channel 640.
Lowell lines to Karros, he drops it, so no double play, but he forces Lowell. Cabrera at second. One out.
Scottie, you can’t get the Bulls where you are, unless your Pro Player Park skybox has DirecTV.’
Which it might. OK, channel 639 then.
Now, Andy, how could Chad Ford eat MJ’s ass out when Chad’s head is so clearly up his own ass?
Let’s be realistic.
tHom is trying to convince viewers that the Cubs 7-0 lead is in jeopardy. That could be true, but Nate Bump warming up in the Fishpen tells me otherwise.
Conine reaches on a little infield chopper. Runners at the corners, one out.
How can Matt Clement pitch and date J-Lo at the same time?
Perhaps Chad’s head came out the other side?
Where is the strike zone now?
that fish terd conine got on base?
I prefer watching games in Texas, because there everyone is carrying heat in their cars….
TJ Ford destroyed Crawford with a crossover, 60-56 at the half — Bucks.
Bulls still can’t defend.
J. Lo in natural lighting. Just another fairly pretty Hispanic girl.
Ben should move on to another skank, shortly.
Alex Gonzalez throws out his evil twin. Two outs, but the Marlins cut the lead to SIX!
Ahh!
Fox with a shot of Don Zimmer being taken out of Fenway on a stretcher.
Yikes.
Todd Hollandsworth is up, Dusty better bring in Joe!
Hollandsworth proves no one can get him out. He singles and lead is down to FIVE!
Hide the kids!
Larry Rothschild to the mound.
Larry: "Hey, stop giving up runs, OK?"
Matt: "OK."
When talking about how brilliant don Zimmer is, why don’t they mention the Lee Smith for Calvin Schiraldi and Oil Can Boyd trade?
That was a BRILLIANT move!
Pierre flies to left. tHom is excited that it’s now 7-2, but really, the Marlins have yet to hit the ball hard.
Oh, and Nate Bump is coming for them, so the Cubs lead will be back to seven here in a minute.
After five, Cubs lead by five.
Hi Don Zimmer.
Remember me?
Al Nipper.
On WGN-TV, Dean Wormer is doing a guest shot on McMillan and Wife. Damn, the Trib knows what quality TV we like. Don’t they?
If it was Dez White trying to catch that Vaaze falling out of that SUV, they’d still be filming it….
Actually, Oil Can Boyd would have been a better "get." That’s sad.
Lofton leading off the sixth.
Kenny tries to bunt on Bump. He’s out.
Huh?
OK Nipper. He sucked just as badly…
"Money Pit" is on too.
You may remember that one as the terrible movie that Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore ripped-off to make their own terrible movie.
Gruddy lines to second, as Fox shows that same bald, fat guy literally wallowing in that hot tub.
Make it stop.
Hey, nobody can carry a movie like Shelley Long.
What’s on next, Troop Beverly Hills?
Bump strikes out Sammy.
tHom is getting excited!
Tone it down Marlins fan boy.
After five and a half, Cubs 7, Marlins 2.
Rip it off, Drew:
Did I tell you that Beeege has a hot tub too? Has ANYONE seen him? Beeege? BEEEGE?
How much did McDonald’s pay Justin Timberlake to write their new jingle and appear in the commercials for like half a second?
Big deal, who HASN’T Drew flashed?
tHom and Psycho are fired up about the Marlins in this sixth inning.
Castillo leads off by grounding to third.
One out.
I don’t know about any of you, but that makes me want to run out and get get some of thier tasty food.
Aside to Matt Clement – Wear a hat when you do interviews.
Nice shot of Pulpo with a clipboard in the bullpen. Which fingers does he hold the pen between?
Pudge singles.
tHom can’t believe the question "Who got the better end of the Willis-Clement trade" went to the Cubs. You know, this game here, which featured the two, might have given them some reason to vote that way.
I voed for the Cub’s bullpen, but I thought the question was "which one has the most fingers"?
Lee flies to center.
Two out.
I know a girl who is in one of those new commercials.
She freaked me out when I met her, and I don’t mind admitting this, because I thought I’d seen her in some internet porn.
That’s always fun.
Clement still has some movement.
Steve Lyons and Al Leiter needs to stop touching each other.
Cabrera flies to left.
Stop the panic.
After six. Cubs by five.
Internet porn. What did the world do without it?
Just think, if Kobe were more into Internet porn he’d be just another superstar shooting guard.
What are the odds that sometime this season, Kobe argues with a ref, and then bends him over one of the chairs on the bench?
OK, maybe not.
Tom Dore just outed Pax for picking his nose on camera.
This just in: Tyson Chandler is good.
the reason the cubs won the poll is cuz the florida bandwangoneers turned off after the first…
You know it’s the preseason when Dan Gadzuric and Antonio Meeking are getting some quality minutes.
Matt Clement is taking another nap in the dugout. He then looked right at the camera. That’s always creepy.
I’m calling a Moises Alou homer right here.
Moises’ homer is robbed by the shortstop. One out.
Did I say Moises? I meant E-ramis of course.
His second homer, his sixth RBI. The Cubs lead is back to six and it’s 8-2.
The Cubs-fan organist plays "Take the A Train" again and A/E-Train hits a homer, again.
Nnote to self: 8 years, 196mm
Psycho beaks out a lame "What you talking ’bout Willis" joke. It’d have been OK, if he’d have used it six innings ago.
Hey, Brad Penny is up in the Fishpen!
We love him! Bring him in.
As Karros whiffs, Psycho says that Pittsburgh would like E-ramis back.
They can’t have him.
He’s all ours.
And he’s goooooooooooooooood.
Gonzo lines to…uh…Alex Gonzalez.
The Cubs get one back.
Afer six and a half, Cubs 8, Marlins 2.
…whereas all the Cubs bandwagoners are still hitched onto the horse…
Johnny Red Kerr just said, "Darvin Ham job."
I’m crying now.
What the hell’s a Stempin?
This just in:
Jamal Crawford is even better.
Anthony Mason was waived today but Desmond Mason still has to wear his "D. Mason" jersey.
Did somebody just mention a horse?
Can I "ride" him.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
You know what they say. If you fall of the horse, lube up your crack and get right back on him.
And why is a Stempin on your TV?
Lowell flies to Sosa.
How cute, Jeff Conine thinks Jeffrey Loria isn’t too cheap to keep these Fish together. He’ll have no desire to pay anybody anything.
He’s the Don Sterling of the MLB.
Or you just punch him out…
Niner grounds to E-ramis, nice dig by Karros.
Check out that last sentence. Yeesh.
Ahh..he’s of the Toledo Stempins, apparently.
Ham job. I love it.
Talking playoffs, mate?
Holy crap. Are the Cubs about to be one win away from the World Series and the Fox broadcasters are spending two innings on AJ Burnett?
Who is on the DL, by the way?
Yikes.
Clement strikes out evil Alex.
Shut the bullpen. No need for it tonight.
After seven. Cubs 8, Marlins 2.
If you keep violating our trademark, I’ll have no choice but to ligitgate you to death!
DOLAN!! You one-nut two-timer, what’s with all the pics of this floozy Edwina whatever when you know I’m hotter than Biggio’s worn-out anus. Show me some love Cubbie boy!
We’re going to have to devise some format for NBA GameCasts this year.
Obviously we might as well ditch any attempt at play by play and just mock the action.
Any ideas?
Crap!
Sorry Thora. But first, I forgot to tell you that E-ramis’ second homer was brought to you by Eliza Dushku.
Mock the action? I can’t imagine why that would be an option???
Maybe larger quantity commentary, time-out to timeout, perhaps.
Damian Miller singles. What the hell, it’s 8-2.
Clement’s bunt is popped up.
Jeannie Zelasko has news that the Red Sox groundscrew guy who got in a fight was attacked by Jeff Nelson and Karim Garcia.
For some reason, though, tHom and Psycho and now Al are saying it was the groundscrew guy’s fault. I think Jeannie just said otherwise.
Lofton singles.
Oh, BTW, Brad Penny is the new hurler and just like Wednesday night, he sucks.
Gruddy grounds one to Penny. The runners advance.
Let’s see if McKeon walks Sammy with first open and a six run deficit.
Steve is now talking about Chad Krueter hat day. Hey, I WANTED that hat, OK. Screw Kreueter, if I’d known it was him, I’d have stolen somebody else’s.
Anyway…
McKeon calls for the intentional walk, Moises is up.
Al says he guarantees that nobody in the Yankees bullpen is stupid enough to attack a guy just for pumping his fists.
Jeff Nelson is exactly THAT stupid.
Should I mention my computer sucks?
LET’S GO CUBS!
Alou grounds out.
The Cubs don’t score.
But, after seven and a half, Cubs 8, Marlins 2.
BC, get that computer ship-shape by tomorrow, you don’t want to miss chiming on in the pennant clincher.
Wow, Brian Bosworth is the TBS college football expert. That’ll legitimize your football telecast. Yikes.
Missouri just upset Nebraska 31-24.
Muahahahahahahaha.
Lenny Harris to lead off the eighth.
Eight more outs!
I just ruined my own lame joke my miscounting.
Five more outs!
I know, too late.
You mean 5 more outs.
Can Thom say anything about any player not based on Cincy, Arizona, or the Marlins?
tHom says maybe Lenny Harris can’t do it anymore.
Steve says it’s not fair because Lenny sat on the bench most of the year.
Uh..no. He played waaaaaay too much third base for us this year.
Ugh. Lenny walks.
Mizzou sucks… and being in Missouri makes me feel like I have the HIV.
Bad news, Lenny’s on. Good news, hit fat ass will clog up any running Juan Pierre or Luis Castillo might want to do this inning.
Sigh……..
The evil in my computer has been shocked and awed. :-) It should be fine to go for tomorrow.
Clement is looking like he’s having an asthma flare up.
Pierre gets Lenny off the bases by grounding to E-ramis. Harris out at second. Pierre on first.
Throw him out again Damian.
The sad thing is that Illinois lost to Missouri… Oh wait, Illinois loses to EVERYBODY!!!
Now here comes Thommy with the 1945 mention.
See Thora, a little self promotion never hurt.
Nice how tHom previewed tomorrow’s start and said "Neither pitcher did well, but Beckett was victimized by a bad first inning."
And that makes it OK? Was it worse that Carlos’ bad inning was the third?
Shut up, tHom.
Illnois basketball will at least be good. Is Shoop helping the Illini this year?
Turner = Shoop.
Of course, Thom just screwed up a playoff history of the Cubs reference.
Castillo taps out to Clement. Pierre to second.
Hey, Fox just told us that the Cubs haven’t won a World Series since 1908!
Is that true?
Who knew?
Dusty is coming to get Matt, who did a great job. The Farns is coming on to face Pudge and cut off that all important third run.
Or something.
Andy singing:
"Breathe in!
Buh-reath ih-uh-ih-uh-in!"
I love the OC! And yet, I’ve never seen it.
Shoop sure isn’ helping that McCaskey team… but really helps the "under".
One of the "Skin" commercials has a Pete Yorn tune in it. Always a nice touch.
Did you know that Pete’s brother is a movie producer and to launch Pete’s career he managed to get his songs put on a dozen different soundtracks?
Of course you didn’t.
Me likey Pete Yorn, though.
Now, back to the Cubs.
Farnsy in. Surely El Pulpo will get a chance, won’t he?
Matt Clement has a big grin on his face. He looks like he just got paroled.
Pudge greets Farns with a double to (guess) RIGHT field. 8-3 Cubs now.
Man, the Farns is starting to struggle. Soon enough Dusty is only going to have two people he can trust in that pen.
Why not save Farnsworth for tomorrow’s game???
Put me in coach, I can play, today, center field.
tHom wants to get excited so badly, it’s pathetic.
Lee lines to second.
After eight.
Cubs 8, Marlins 3.
Is Rothschild Todd Wellemeyer’s dad?
Perhaps Farns’ knee numbness has crept up to his head?
No, wait, that’s always numb.
OK, here we go, I just got the full name.
WHO IS GREG STEMPIN AND WHY IS HE ON MY TV?
Wait, wait, wait. Kirk Hinrich is number 12? You mean they didn’t retire it for Bruce Bowen?
Oh yeah, forgot to say earlier…
ARAMIS IS GOOD!
Greg Stempin Signs Free-Agent Contract with Milwaukee Bucks
Former Rocket ranks third on school’s all-time scoring list with 1,705 points
Oct. 1, 2003
Toledo, OH – Former Rocket Greg Stempin has signed a free-agent contract with the NBA’s Milwaukee Bucks, Milwaukee’s General Manager Larry Harris announced on Tuesday. Stempin is part of the Bucks’ training camp roster which currently stands at 17 players.
Stempin has played the past two seasons in the NBDL and averaged 9.2 points, 4.4 rebounds and 1.4 assists in 45 games last year between Huntsville and Columbus. He earned All-NBDL honorable mention honors with Fayetteville in the 2001-02 campaign afer averaging a team-high 15.7 points (4th in the NBDL), with 6.2 rebounds, 1.7 assists and 1.0 steal per game over 48 games.
Stempin finished his Rocket career in third place on the school’s all-time scoring list with 1,705 points and tied for sixth on the all-time rebounding list with 836 boards. He is one of four Rockets ever to be a three-time first-team All-MAC selection after receiving the honor following his sophomore, junior and senior campaigns
Carl Pavano in to mop up.
E-ramis strikes out. What has he done for us lately?
Oh, never mind.
And his mom has a bumper sticker –
Proud parent of an Honorable Mention All-NBDL player on her car….
Thank you pd.
Castillo robs Karros of a single.
Two down.
Hey, Steve just gave a shout out to the St. Louis fans!
Like this guy.
Gonzo strikes out. The Cubs are going to have to hold on to a scant five run lead.
PS: the Rockets they refer to ain’t in Denver, it’s in Toledo OH, the city by the lake that burns.
Hey, our first Tru Calling commercial.
Eliza did you see that?
Conspirisy Theory – FOX wanted Clemens to win his 300th on thier saturday telecast and the Cubbies spoiled it so now they are less than enthused about covering the Cubs in October – unless it’s in the world series where they’ll be pulling for some new york revenge with Buckhead and Idoit Boy calling the game…
Nah…tHom’s just a prick.
Farnsy in to face Cabrera.
Nice play by Gruddy to get Cabrera on a high hopper. Looks like Miguel might have beaten it. The ump wants to go home, too.
Lyons says that Luis Castillo DIDN’T make a bad baserunning play last night to end the game.
Whatever, dipshit.
That’s one of the worst baserunning plays OF ALL TIME.
There’s no excuse, the plays in front of you and you run right into an out. Terrible.
Farnsy blows Lowell away.
I think we see now how truly lucky Lowell was to hit that homer in game one. He’s got nothing right now.
Two down.
One more out to ONE more win…
To the WORLD SERIES…
Big Al said eVERYONE would be caught on that play – well, I know Lenny F. Harris would have done it….
Grounder to Gruddy. CUBS WIN!!!!
The final, 8-3. The Desipio player of the game is E-ramis Ramirez.
The Cubs are one game away from the National League pennant. And Carlos gets a second chance to kill the Marlins. I think he’ll do much better.
The Cubs have to fly home tomorrow night, they might as well bring the NL Championship trophy with them.
How cruel is it to have Joththth Lewin interview Aramith Ramithreth?
Where did that lisp come from? It’s hilarious.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard E-ramis talk before.
This win, like last night’s brought to you by Eliza Dushku.
Thanks to all of you who read along, those who posted and we will see you here tomorrow afternoon as the Cubs…dare we speak it aloud?…try to win their first pennant in 58 years.
Wake the kids, call the neighbors, it’s going to happen.
See you tomorrow.
Go Cubs.
Again, I say…
Fox asks how do you say "sucker" in French.
I know the answer: French.
Thanks, I’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.
More Greg Stempin Facts:
Greg Stempin
Class:
Senior
Hometown:
Macomb, MI
High School:
Harper Woods Notre Dame
Height / Weight:
6-8 / 220
Position:
Forward
Birthdate:
05/10/1979
2000-01 All-America Candidate
1999-2000 First-Team All-MAC
1998-99 First-Team All-MAC
Highlights
Outlook: Team captain…Looking to become the fourth Rocket ever to earn First-Team All-MAC honors three straight years…Preseason All-MAC selection…Ranks 28th on UT’s all-time scoring list with 1,101 points…Athletic and versatile big man who can score inside or outside… Excellent student…Holds a 3.047 GPA in finance.
1999-2000:
Named first-team All-MAC for second straight season…Scored in double figures in 24 of 27 games, including the first 14 and last 10 contests of the season…Missed four games (Jan. 12-22) due to right elbow sprain…Had six double-doubles…Six games with 20+ points… Career-high 27 points at Youngstown State (Dec. 20)…21-point, career-high 18-rebound effort vs. Appalachian State in first round of Marquette’s Coca-Cola Classic (Dec. 3)…11th in the MAC in scoring (15.7 ppg), fourth in rebounding (8.1 rpg)…Led or tied for the team lead in scoring in 12 games…All-tournament team selection at Hawaii Pacific Classic (Nov. 26-28) and Marquette’s Coca-Cola Classic (Dec. 3-4)… MAC Defensive Player of the Week (Feb. 7) following wins over Miami and Buffalo.
1998-99:
Named first-team All-MAC and first-team Academic All-MAC…Scored in double figures in 24 of 28 games…Had eight double-doubles…Six games with 20+ points…Season-high 25 points vs. Miami (Feb. 1)…23-point, 10-rebound performance vs. Xavier in first round of NIT (March 10)…Ninth in the MAC in scoring (15.3 ppg), fourth in rebounding (7.4 rpg) and fifth in field goal percentage (.512)…MAC Offensive Player of the Week (Dec. 14) following performance in wins over Xavier and Dayton…MAC Defensive Player of the Week (Dec. 27) following win at Western Michigan…23 points vs. Xavier (Dec. 9)…Season-high 15 rebounds at George Mason (Nov. 24).
1997-98:
Appeared in all 27 games, making eight starts…Started the last seven games of the season…Contributed 9.2 points and 5.0 rebounds a contest…Named to the MAC All-Newcomer team…Led the team and finished ninth in the MAC in 3-point field goal percentage with 39.7 percent (29-of-73)…Finished second on the team with 10 blocks…First career start vs. Youngstown State (Dec. 30) in finals of MVP Classic…Named to Holiday Classic all-tournament team after notching 17 points and 12 rebounds in two games…Had 16 points and nine boards vs. UW-Milwaukee (Nov. 26)…Scored season-high 19 points and grabbed 10 rebounds in overtime loss at Wisconsin (Dec. 9)…Scored 15 points and had eight rebounds in loss to Western Michigan (Jan. 24)…18 points, including 3-of-6 from three-point land in heartbreaking loss at Eastern Michigan (Feb. 25)…Capped off freshman campaign with a 13-point, five-rebound performance in the MAC Tournament quarterfinal game at EMU (Feb. 28).
High School (Harper Woods Notre Dame):
As a Senior — Detroit News Dream Team…All-state (Class B)…All-district, all-metro, all-Catholic…League MVP…Team captain…Participated in Michigan All-Star Game and Wendy’s Classic…Averaged 28 points, 12 rebounds and four assists per game…As a Junior — All-state (Class B)…All-district, all-metro, all-Catholic…League MVP…Team captain…Averaged 27 points, 11 rebounds and three assists per game…Career — Set school scoring records for a game (53) and career (1,704)…Had a total of 100 points in his last two high school games (53 and 47, respectively)…Played basketball for coach Mike Maltese…Earned four letters in basketball and three in track…Was all-state in track as a junior, finishing second at the state meet in the high jump with a school-record jump of 6-8…Finished with 3.8 GPA.
Personal:
Full name: Gregory John Stempin…Age: 21 (born May 10, 1979)…The son of Ron and Elaine Stempin…Father is a union president, mother is a sales consultant…Has two older brothers…Hobbies include golf, tennis and fishing…Enrolled in the College of Business, majoring in pre-business.
10 Questions For Greg Stempin
What is your favorite movie?
“Rudy.â€
Who is your favorite athlete?
Larry Bird.
Whom do you admire most other than your mother or father?
Brett Fedak, because he led us through many tough times in the 1998-99 season.
What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
“No matter what happens, never give up. Fight to the end.†– My father.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I had the ability to gain weight a little faster.
Who is the most impressive person you’ve ever met?
My brother Ron, because no matter what happens to him he never seems to get upset or lose his cool.
What person from history would you like to meet?
John F. Kennedy, because I admired his leadership and honesty.
What have been the greatest moments so far in your life?
Beating Ohio State and Xavier in 199 and winning 11 games in a row last year.
You could have chosen other schools. Why did you come to UT?
It was close to home and I felt like it was the best place for me to win a championship.
What are your career plans?
I would like a future in basketball and running my own business.
Career Highs
Points: 27 at Youngstown State (12/20/99)
Rebounds: 18 vs. Appalachian State (12/3/99)
Assists: 6 vs. Central Michigan (2/26/00)
Blocks: 4 vs. Florida International (11/27/99)
Steals: 4 (twice, last at Youngstown State (12/20/99)
3-Pt. FG’s: 4 (twice, last at Ohio (12/18/99)
STEMPIN’S CAREER STATS
Year G Min FG-FGA Pct 3FG-Att Pct FT-FTA Pct Pts Avg Reb Avg A BS S
1997-98 27 667 87-203 .429 29-73 .397 46-77 .597 249 9.2 136 5.0 24 10 14
1998-99 28 937 152-297 .512 17-69 .246 106-164 .646 427 15.3 208 7.4 34 20 31
1999-00 27 959 146-352 .415 43-137 .314 90-129 .698 425 15.7 220 8.1 58 215 32
Totals 82 2583 385-852 .452 89-279 .319 242-370 .654 1101 13.4 564 6.83 116 45 77
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p.d.
Stop it.
That is funny, though.
Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that Steve Lyons and Al Leiter seem to think that the Marlins are the greatest team since the ’27 Yankees. Even when Willis throws 15 pitches to Ramirez and Ramirez ends up getting an RBI single that Willis came out ahead in the at-bat.
The Fox announcers are desperate to see the Marlins win, that’s for sure.
Love, friendship, respect do not unite people as much as common hatred for something. by free online poker