To read the sports pages today you’d think the current Cubs were lying in bed at night pondering their fates and seeing visions of Leon Durham letting a grounder go between his legs. You’d think that when they look in the mirror in the morning when they brush their teeth that they see a double play grounder hit a rock and bounce over Ryne Sandberg’s head.

You’d think that when they pull into the Taco Bell drive thru they’d be paralyzed with indecision and panic like Jim Frey did when he let Scott Sanderson pitch game four.

Screw that.

You know why the 2003 Cubs aren’t going to share the same fate as the 1984 Cubs? Because they’re better.

And they’re playing these final games at home.

And because we all lived through 1984 so that we’d never have to go through it again.

Here at Desipio we’re only absolutely sure of a few things. Actually we’re only sure of a couple things. But one of them is that tonight is going to be the best night Cubs fans have had in…well..ever.

I’m not sure how they celebrated in 1908. They probably went to a bar and some wild ladies pulled up their bloomers and showed off some ankle.

I’m not sure how they celebrated in 1945. They probably went to a bar and all of the 4-F losers got lucky with some drunken hotties whose husbands were still getting ready to come home from the war.

But I know how we’ll celebrate tonight. We’ll do the inevitable. When the Cubs win the pennant, in Wrigley Field no less, we’ll all pass out and wet our pants. There won’t be a dry set of Levis in an eight state area.

I hope you all took my advice from yesterday and scouted out the location in your house or bar or wherever you plan on watching tonight’s game. I cleared about a ten square foot area in the living room where I can jump like a loon and not injure myself or anything around me tonight. After about six hops I expect my body to completely shut down due to sensory overload. That’s when I’ll pass out.

I just hope I wake up in time for game one of the World Series Saturday night.

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Reason number one the Cubs get to party like it’s 1945 tonight? Mark Prior.

A scientific look at The Franchise.

Dwarf Sullivan says that the ivy’s not green anymore. That’s nice.

Ryne Sandberg and Gary Matthews and every ex-Cub wants to see this happen.

I like Mike Downey’s last line here.

Rick Morrissey gives us reasons to relax. That’s not going to happen.

Bruce Weber is happy to be at Illinois. I think we’ll all grow to be happy he’s there, too. Even if he doesn’t bring the sandwiches.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to tell us that Prior will lead the way.

Rap with a look back at Steve Goodman.

The Wizard of Roz says the new Cubs don’t care about the old history.

Jayson Stark on what it means to root for the Cubs.