Well, that was fun, huh? Sort of like performing your own sex change operation with a rusty meat cleaver, a sewing needle and some dental floss. Good times last night. Good times.
I woke up this morning, kicked the dog, gave the wife a good rodgering and then realized not only don’t I have a dog or a wife, but that I wasn’t even in my own house. So really, it wasn’t that bad of a morning.
But, the sun in shining, Kerry Wood is taking the mound tonight and, like every other fool on the planet, I’m optimistic.
If you’re a Cub, you have a chance to do one of two things.
1) You can use the ultimate Mulligan. How many people get a chance to do-over their worst day? That’s what the Cubs can do tonight. A win in game seven makes game six a quirky little memory. “Hey, remember how the Cubs tore our hearts out in game six, only to put it back in the next night as we all went nutty and celebrated the pennant?”
2) They can literally pile onto our suffering. If last night was a kick to the groin, a loss tonight, especially another come-from-ahead loss would be a full out sledgehammer to the temple. It’s up to them. We’ll be there watching. They’re like a six car pile up, you know there will be carnage and severed heads, but you can’t take your eyes off it.
This game will be compared all day to game five in 1984 and to game six in the 1986 World Series. That’s crap in both cases. In ’84, that was it. There was no tomorrow. Today is tomorrow. In the ’86 World Series the Red Sox had FIFTEEN different PITCHES that could have ended the game and won the World Series. FIFTEEN! I thought it was seven, until I re-read Sports Guy’s painful account. The Cubs were five outs away with nobody on and Mark Prior on the mound with a 3-0 lead. That hurt, no doubt, and it makes any lead tonight, even with Kerry Wood on the mound, completely unsafe and we’ll all be basket cases, but even sitting there, doing the GameCast, I never felt like “we’re going to win!” That feeling comes in the ninth, when you only need an out or two. Even though your brain tells your heart that no lead is safe, there comes a moment when you heart takes over. That moment was closing in, but it hadn’t come yet.
Once that moment comes, and the rug gets pulled out from underneath you, there’s no turning back. You’re nothing but scar tissue from then on out. I have a feeling that “we’re going to win” feeling will come tonight. Let’s hope we’re all in tact in the morning.
We sent Karry Ling to interview the guy from left field. Karry did his usual thoughtful hatchet job on him. I’m not going to delve too much into that. Karry says it all. But one thing, anybody who says that when you’re in the spot he was in, that there’s no time to do anything but react to the ball is a moron. I’m not saying the guy cost the Cubs the game, but I am saying there’s no way he should have reached in front of himself from the first row to try and catch a pop up. He knew Moises was there, everybody in stands was into every pitch.
More crap you’ll hear all day is that all of the pressure is on the Cubs now. What, the Marlins don’t want to go to the World Series? They don’t care?
Besides, the Marlins have a salad tossing lefty, Mark Redman pitching tonight. Crafty junkballers don’t fare well the second time around when they have to face the same lineup twice in a week. I just have a feeling that the Cubs will release 21 hours of pent up fury on Mr. Redman, and another 40,000 fans inside the stadium will make it feel like the walls are coming down.
But then, I’m the guy who promised you that yesterday would be the best day ever to be a Cubs fan, and instead, it became one of the all-time worst.
So it’s nice that the Cubs, and I, both get a Mulligan tonight.
Neither one of us is planning on wasting it.
—
Headphone guy had to be, as reported by Karry Ling, taken away for his own protection. He was then sodomized by the Cubs janitorial staff.
The Cubs players, were more forgiving of him than the fans were.
The Cubs weren’t thisclose last night, but they were thisclose to thisclose. There’s only one tomorrow left, and it’s tonight.
Dusty knows good food, and handsome goats when he sees them. Just who exactly has goats tied up in the back yard? Oh, this guy, probably:
Mike Downey wants to know where that freakin’ eight came from?
Rick Morrissey has lost his optimism. I lost mine for a little while last night, too, but after what Jimmy did for me, it’d take the Indiana National Guard to get me out of here! Wait, that was Hoosiers.
Only Tim Floyd can make Jerry Krause sympahtetic. Tim is sympahtetic without the sym.
If Chris Chandler is the answer, the question has to be, “How many fingers am I holding up? Chris! Chris! I think you’ve suffered another concussion. And we’re still on the bus to the stadium!”
Jayson Stark on the new, most famous, Cubs fan.
If you haven’t seen the tape of the red assed Nebraska Husker “holder” punching out the Mizzou fan after the game Saturday…you’re missing out. Impressive. Nice to see a football player punch out a scrawny little fan with a sucker punch, no less.
Long Duk Dong rides again, though, why, we’re not exactly sure.
Is that a golf club sticking out of your head, or are you just happy to see me?
Angelina Jolie had to leave a hotel because Colin Farrell kept dropping his pants. Sure, so he’s not her brother, but still she’s allowed to look, isn’t she?
Two cows is humorous.
Honestly, I think Ethan Hawke had an affair on Uma Thurman because he finally realized she’s not pretty.
America’s finest news source says Joe Lieberman’s newest strategy is that he’ll “gloss over the boring issues.” That’s just crazy enough to work. Too bad he’s not.
This is not 1969. This is not 1984. I’ve got the ball tonight, and I’m PISSED OFF. I hope the umpire can call strikes by seeing only a contrail. (to Karry Ling – a contrail is the vapor trail left by a jet engine). Also I hope Damian MIller has plenty of padding in his mitt.
Well, I feel pretty good about tonight too. It seems like there have been a number of key starts this year that have fallen to Kerry Wood, and he has willed the Cubs to win every one of them. Also, someone I work with was at The Lodge last night, and the Marlins were partying hard, acting as though they had won the World Series. Interestingly enough, one of worst off was Josh Beckett who was absolutely hammered. She asked him if he was going to pitch at all today, and he said "do I look like I’m in any shape to pitch tomorrow?" As long as the Cubs come to play today, they will be fine.
Cubs 6 Marlins 2
Intrepid reader Bill Catching passed this along.
Priceless.
I think Karry was there, too.
Oh the humanity!
I slept on the couch last night and refused to talk to Kerry, so he really IS pissed off. He also told me that Juan Pierre is getting one right in the earhole to start the game. This has final game of Major League written all over it…..
He even muttered this when leaving the house this morning:
"I say F@#k you Mark Prior, I do it myself"
http://www.whichwayup.org/wanted.html
These are spreading like wildfire.
If anyone wants to talk to me tonight after about 7:20, you can find me at a library reading a book or something.
I told you we should have sacrificed a live chicken!
Two more:
The culprit has been identified:
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/fan15.html
It figures that the dumbfuck would be an ND grad. That place is a breeding ground for assholes.
Really, can you expect anything less of someone like me who worships Ryno?
If this Bartman (sounds like a guest spot on The Simpson’s or Southpark in his future) really was a "diehard fan" then he would have backed off the ball. I can hear Zambrano’s new mantra: "Must…kill…Bartman."
I know it won’t make Andy or anyone else feel better, but here goes.
I was taping the game starting at the top of the seventh last night. I have watched the tape several times today, and am trying to look at it as objectively as possible.
In the approximately one and half seconds before the ball hit the fan’s hand, it looks as if the hand was out, was brought back in momentarily, and then back out. It was as if the fan gave up on it and then all of a suddenly decided to go for it on one final try.
Ugh.
I found this goof’s email address where he works:
steve.bartman@hewitt.com
Have everyone you know drop him a line…..
c’mon guys. Bartman is a hoser, but loosen up. Let it go. Give the guy a fucking break, willya? Focus your energy on tonight’s game.
Now that you’ve tracked down your scapegoat maybe you can track down Prior’s control or Gonzalez fielding ability. World Series worthy teams don’t rollover because of one foulball.
Bartman needs to be held accountable. Fire him!
I cannot believe the Sun-Times published his name, where he works, and approximately where he lives. That is disgusting, and I hope they pay for it. If anything happens to Bartman now, how could they not be held accountable?
Since it’s an "international consulting firm", I’ll bet they’re busy finding Stevie a new position overseas.
Hewitt is a large pension/benefit firm (I know, my brother worked there for 6 yrs.), and that figures–this Bartman pud LOOKED like an actuary in trying to catch that ball.
Their website says they have 88 offices in 38 countries. Somewhere in the Middle East might be appropriate. Just wait till he picks up a stray soccer ball during an Iraqi qualifying match.
Lets be serious, we act like we lost everything. We still have the biggest game ever. Go Cubs!!
Cubs 6 Marlins 2 …. World Series here we come!
Hey, even I have enough wits about me to not mess with a catchable foul ball.
"I don’t think he should be blamed at all. People reach for balls. This just happened to be a little more critical."
Amen, brother.
PEOPLE REACH FOR BALLS. Mmm.
Had Mr. Bartman attended the Harvard of the Midwest, he’d have known to keep his hands off of the balls of others.
But then, not everybody can get into NIU, some have to go to their safety school like ISU or SIU or ND.
Wait, what?
The Smoking Gun reports that calls to Stevie’s apartment are greeted with a disconnected notice and calls to his voice mail at work have not been returned. Gee, ya think?
I’m with you JK, let’s forget this mope and concentrate on tonight’s game.
You’re all a bunch of pussies, you’ll be screaming uncontrollably when I polish off the last scumbag in the bottom of the ninth for my no-hitter. Then I sprint into the Florida dugout and wipe that smirk off of octagenarian Jack McKeon’s face.
You know what? Is it my fault that Kerry Wood paid me force a game 7 so he could add to his legacy? NO. Is it my fault that Rupert Murdoch chipped in as well so Fox could air another double header tonight? No. Is it my fault that Moises Alou can’t jump? No. I’m just a sales associate looking to make some cash here to pay for those seats that I had last night. I would have sold my sister’s kidney, but I did that already to go to game 01. So shut up, stop sending me death threats, and head to your local cantina tonight to watch a one hit shutout from Kerry Wood as the Cubbies win the pennant. And hey, if you’re still pissed, remember me when you keep getting close-ups of Kerry’s wife around 8:30 tonight, as opposed to Don Zimmer if we had closed it out last night.
Oh, and you can bid on my headphones on Ebay!
Being a journalism student, I have had a class on journalistic responsiblity in these sorts of situations. The ONLY times journalistic organizations lose lawsuits are when they do a report with the inherent purpose to irrepably harm the subject of the story. Publishing a person’s information as the Sun-Times did today would not even hold an ounce of water in a court of law in a lawsuit with a judge of ANY competence.
Was it smart? Probably not. Was it legal? You bet my butt it is.
Hey guys, Tim McCarver, Bret Boone and I are spending an inordinate amount of time talking about how mean Cubs fans are for being nasty to Superfan. I’m ill informed as usual and I think that everybody in town is blaming that guy for the loss. You can bet that my buddies tHom and Psycho will beat the point into the ground a few hundred times tonight, too.
I’m spending so much time on the Cubs, I can’t even remember what game I’m broadcasting right now.
I’m so cool.
F### the goat. No, really.
I hope you guys enjoy this tonight.
I’m not going to be watching the game, since I have decided that would be best for my sanity.
Bad news guys. Wind blowing out 15 to 20 MPH per the radio five or so minutes ago.
I think this helps them much more than us.
The amount of venom thrown on this guy is amazing. Do people realize how embarrasing this is making Cub fans look? Or do people even care? Is this the only thing people have to focus on? Did the fan boot a grounder to shortstop, overthrow a cutoff man, or leave a starter in too long? ENOUGH ALREADY
The good of the people is the highest law. by online poker
This nice is very good, i will recomend it to my friends and partners