Over the years I’ve gotten some interesting e-mail. Rob Neyer once called me an “asshole”, Jock Florentine’s mom wrote to chastise me for making fun of his porn name, Jim Tocco made himself famous by throwing a trantrum in my inbox, and last night, I got a series of e-mails from a well-meaning Chip Caray fan, who’s mad at me and you…the intrepid readers for being mean to his former University of Georgia roommate.

First, I got an e-mail from a guy named David Coleman and he had cut and pasted the discussion text from this article on Desipio. He wanted to know why I’d allow that “crap” to be on my Web site.
Because it’s funny. I e-mailed him back to say that while I doubted that Dutchie, Chip and Kobe actually posted there, it’s what the readers had to say. And it was funny.

He then wrote back to tell me that he didn’t think it was very nice (who said it was nice?) and that he was Chip’s roommate at Georgia and that Chip is a great guy.

I wrote him back and told him that Chip is universally hated in Chicago, and that for a couple years I thought it was just me and some of the Desipio readers who hated him, but then I went to the Cubs Convention last year and heard Chip get roundly booed. I told David that the only boos all weekend were given to any reference made to the Cardinals, Todd Hundley and Chip. I told David that Chip is likely a very nice guy and that he’ll be very happy after next year when he goes someplace else to announce. Someplace where the fan base isn’t as fervent as it is in Chicago. I said that Chip seems to think we hate him because he’s not Harry. When in reality, we don’t care that he’s not Harry. We just don’t like that he’s Chip.

Then, I got this e-mail.

To: andy@desipio.com
Fr: David Coleman
Date: October 24, 2003, 12:13 a.m
Subject: Re: Chip Caray

Andy,
It’s funny reading your comments. You couldn’t be further from the truth. Chip has “ALWAYS” been the type of person who would go out of his way to make is own name. If he saw an easy path because of the Caray nepotism, he would purposely choose another path, just so people wouldn’t accuse him of making it on the “Caray” name. He absolutely wanted “NOTHING” given to him. He meant that he was going to work for it. Self accomplishment was more important than status to Chip!!! He wasn’t the flashy, arrogant, bragging type…..he’s a very simple, caring, motivated person. In college, I remember him practicing by announcing Hockey games, Baseball games, etc. that were on TV…..with the volume turned all the way down. He purposely developed his own style, because he didn’t want to “copy” his Dad or Grandfather. And he didn’t want anybody to help him because of his family name. The people of Chicago have him painted in a totally different brush. It’s ironic that people paint him as a person who “made it” because of who his Grandfather was, or who his Dad was. Those that do, have no idea what he went through to “make it on his own”. I’ll have you know that his Grandfather, nor his Dad made any “phone calls” on his behalf to help him in “ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM”. He did it all on his own. I’d bet my life that he put more work and effort into getting where he is today than his Dad or Grandfather did…..divided by “TWO”. I’m in the investment business……so I’d say………..He did it “the old fashioned way, he earned it” !!! He struggle to find a job out of college, and he barely got enough money to pay the bills for years after we graduated. NEVER ONCE did his father or grandfather help him get any job, or financially !!! Chicago should be PROUD to have Chip as their announcer. He worked for it, just like his “GRANDFATHER”…..You know, sometimes people don’t understand what they have until it’s “gone”……. just like Harry !!
David Coleman
Go Dawgs

I don’t even know where to start with this missive. OK, maybe I do.

Chip has “ALWAYS” been the type of person who would go out of his way to make is own name. If he saw an easy path because of the Caray nepotism, he would purposely choose another path, just so people wouldn’t accuse him of making it on the “Caray” name. He absolutely wanted “NOTHING” given to him.

I don’t think anybody will accuse Chip of “making it on the Caray name,” in fact, I don’t think three years from now when he’s doing minor league hockey play-by-play that anybody will accuse him of “making it” at all.

He wasn’t the flashy, arrogant, bragging type…..he’s a very simple, caring, motivated person. In college, I remember him practicing by announcing Hockey games, Baseball games, etc. that were on TV…..with the volume turned all the way down. He purposely developed his own style, because he didn’t want to “copy” his Dad or Grandfather.

I’ll agree that Chip’s simple. Wow, is he simple.

Can you imagine walking into your dorm room and finding Chip Caray cranking out the phony deejay voice and doing play-by-play by screaming at a muted TV? I can imagine that only two outcomes are possible a) you go insane or b) you kill yourself with an extension cord.

As for Chip’s style, it’s unique all right. Well, as unique as “bad” can be, I suppose.

I’ll have you know that his Grandfather, nor his Dad made any “phone calls” on his behalf to help him in “ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM”. He did it all on his own. I’d bet my life that he put more work and effort into getting where he is today than his Dad or Grandfather did…..divided by “TWO”.

There are so many things wrong with this. First off, do the math on it. It’s amusing. So you take all the work and effort that Harry and Skip did and then cut it in half and you get Chip. Maybe I’ll buy that.

But if Chip was so loathe to use the family name to get into the business, why did he sign on to work with his dad at TBS and then grandpappy at WGN? And I’m sure the guys with the Orlando Magic and Seattle Mariners didn’t think hiring a third generation Caray was a gimmick, either. Nah.

Look, these are the Cubs we’re talking about. The franchise to whom everything is a marketing scam. WGN-Radio even has Ron Santo give his health updates on the Spike O’Dell Show so they can promote them for ratings. Nothing says ad revenue like the announcement that your favorite third baseman is having another leg lopped off! Whee!

Chicago should be PROUD to have Chip as their announcer. He worked for it, just like his “GRANDFATHER”…..You know, sometimes people don’t understand what they have until it’s “gone”……. just like Harry !!

See, we’ve been saying it for years and now it’s confirmed by a close friend. Harry’s not Chip’s grandfather. If he was, why would David Coleman have put it in quotes? “Grandfather.” OK, maybe not.

As for the “sometimes people don’t understand what they have until it’s gone” bit, I can’t wait to understand what we had. Because it’ll mean Chip’s gone.

Here’s the deal. I’ll say it one more time.

The reason Cubs fans hate Chip is pretty simple. He sucks. I tried to explain to this guy that Chip thinks we hate him because he’s not Harry. That’s just so simple and tired and wrong. We don’t like him because he’s bad. We loved Harry, but the last few years he was a trainwreck. You tuned in to hear him screw up, and so when he was gone, we missed him, but we were ready for a sharper broadcaster. We never got one.

On Harry’s worst day he was better than Chip will ever be. But that’s not the point. The point is that Harry was so revered that we didn’t expect the new guy to be as good. We just wanted him to have an actual personality.

We don’t want an announcer who takes a moral stand against saying the word “damn” in a promo.
We don’t want to be lectured on when we should boo, or how we should behave at a game.
We want to have fun.
We want our announcer to rip on the Cubs when they need it and rip on the opponents because they deserve it.
We don’t want a guy who was more than capably replaced at Fox by the animatronic robot that is Jeannie Zelasko.

Can you imagine the fiasco if Chip had been announcing the game when our new buddy Steve Bartman spazzed out by the railing and cost the Cubs an out?

I shudder to think of the pompous lecturing we’d have gotten about how disgraceful it was that fans were yelling at Steve and (gasp!) swearing at him and throwing beer at him. tHomm Brennaman did it and it was bad, but Chip would have ridden that horse until it was dead and buried.

You know why? Because Chip knows what it is to be the whipping boy. Chip was Steve Bartman before Steve Bartman. He’s just another weenie, in over his head, wearing ill fitting headphones and wondering when the world will crash down around him.

And you can bet that Chip will use most of April and May to pontificate about how terrible Cubs fans were for making it rough on our game six idiot fan.

I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it. So instead of going on, you can just re-read the “Open Letter to Chip Caray” piece I wrote in September. It’s all still true. In fact, it’s probably even more true now.


Soo-prise, soo-prise, the Bulls will bring Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler back for 2004-2005.

Rosey goes off on the Bears, which is fun. But he says that Brian Urlacher and Mike Brown have gotten worse. That’s not true. But the players around them are worse and neither one can just play their own positon anymore. You may be mad at Urlacher when you see a fullback block him and keep him out of the play, but two years ago, the defensive tackles actually forced teams to account for them. Same with Brown, he’s trying to make up for a lousy safety-mate a bad corner and a rookie corner. The Bears are wasting two really good players by surrounding them with crap.

Are the Bears desperate? They sure as hell ought to be if they’re not.

What was your favorite part of the Trenton Hassell era? Mine was last year, when he forgot how to shoot.

Jerry Krause doesn’t have a jersey to retire, so they’re going to raise a banner that says:

Jerry Krause
PARANOIA
1985-2002

A good feature on NIU coach Joe Novak.

The Tribune with an editorial on NIU football and the BCS. Look, this is a perfect example of why we need an NCAA Football Tournament. Sure, NIU wouldn’t win it, but how cool would it be to see them in it, trying to upset Michigan or Florida State? It’d be fun. An NCAA Football Tournament would be the biggest sporting event in the country every year. Why the NCAA can’t see that is beyond me.

John Jackson on the NFL Network (I’m giddy) and College Football GameDay going to Bowling Green for the big BGSU-NIU match up.

Sexy Rexy might see the field on Sunday. Let’s hope.

Novak is telling the troops to “enjoy it.” If you can’t enjoy this, you can’t enjoy anything.

The Kobe Case has a new judge. It’s Lance Ito! OK, not it’s not.

Ivan Maisel on the guys who play at NIU and Bowling Green.

Herb Kirkstreit, or Kirk Herbsreit, or whoever the pretty-boy hairdo is, says Bowling Green is out for revenge. Screw them. They’re not getting any.

Bill Curry breaks down NIU-Bowling Green. It’s kind of creepy the way he “talks” to the players.

The Orioles want to talk to Lee Mazzilli. God, why? Richie Hebner’s not available?

Spanish-yes.com with their NBA Preview. We’ll have our scouting reports up early next week. You’ll love them as always.

Marty Burns’ mullet with five things to look out for. I’m looking out for Chad “The Shaved Possum” Ford, I don’t want that little guy anywhere near me.

Peter Vecsey loves Jamal Crawford.

Matt Drudge on the Reagan bio-pic. “No more wire hangers, ever!”

And you wondered why I’m sucking up to Google?

Courtney Love–supermom.

Bad news, guys. Kylie Minogue’s putting her ass back in her pants.

One of the Jackass stars was found drunk, naked and on a car. That’s illegal? Really? Since when?

Christopher Reeve saying he wishes he were dead shouldn’t be funny.

Miss Afghanistan!

The World’s greatest newspaper says that a South African man is mad because his transplanted heart is broken.