Even though I consider myself a decent sports fan, I?ll admit I didn?t watch one pitch of Game 5 of the World Series, instead turning my attention to NBC?s Coupling (even with Rena Sofer not nearly as funny as the original) and of course CBS? Survivor. With a sprinkling of TNT?s NBA Pregame, just for kicks. Oh, how we?ve missed you Sir Charles.

Last week on Survivor: Morgan finally catches a shower, some fish, and a little momentum; while Drake survives a couple of days without Rupert and snuffs out Michelle?s torch.

Day 15 begins at Morgan with Osten declaring his dislike for pelicans by menacingly sharpening a machette, offending Savage, Ryan, and probably Pamela Anderson and PETA as well.

Ryan wants to know why Osten even tried out for Survivor, “If you don?t like the sea, and you don?t like pelicans, then stay off the show!” Not sure I follow the logic exactly but I?d say it?s safe to say that Osten won?t be cashing a seven figure check anytime soon.

Over at Drake, Rupert?s new friend, a baby snake named Balboa, is dead. But rather then spend the entire day mourning, Rupe rallies the troops to rebuild the floor of their shelter in an effort to elevate it 6″ from the ground and keep the nocturnal creepy-crawlies from attacking Christa?s face. Too late, Yikes!

Of course this requires work, which means Shawn isn?t down. He doesn?t think 6″ is going to make a difference. Feel free to insert your own one-liner here, I had too many inappropriate ones to choose from. Once again Shawn?s poor work ethic has Jon reverting to the elementary schoolyard, providing us with an entertaining exchange in which Jon repeatedly calls Shawn “ridiculous,” with Shawn effectively responding with a string of “Shut ups!”

Jeff arrives with two cannons, and a reward challenge for a bar-b-que and lobster and steaks. Unfortunately the cannons are pointed out to sea at a number of flagged targets rather than at each other. Each tribe member takes turns firing their cannon, and it?s a 3-3 tie when Christa and Savage face off in the final round. Savage shoots and misses, Christa hits and scores. Like Drake really needed to eat again? The next morning they send Jonny Fairplay to Morgan to retrieve one of their boiling pots. While there he informs the tribe that Drake actually threw one of the challenges, and earns the nickname ?piss-ant? by Savage. While Morgan is pissed, they still let Jon use some shampoo on his natted golden ?fro anyway. Now that?s good sportsmanship.

On to immunity, which is a crude squatting contest pitting three members from each tribe against each other in a last man standing competition. Wooden bars get loaded up in 20-pound increments over the competitors shoulders until they can?t go no mo. The two remaining members of each tribe pick and choose how the weight gets dispersed to their opposition. Drake stands Rupert (obviously), Christa (hmmm) and Shawn, leaving Jon and Trish to strategize. Morgan stands their three men, Savage, Osten, Ryan O., and leaves the girls (Darrah and Tijuana) picking and choosing. Sandra sits out.

Osten is the first to go at about 175lbs., with Rupert lasting a little longer and buckling at 215 lbs. Shawn goes next at 155 lbs., leaving only Christa to battle Savage and Ryan. Andrew gets up to 175lbs., Ryan to 155lbs., and Christa all the way up to 175lbs. (more than Shawn and Osten) before she finally breaks. Morgan wins and Savage cries. Whatever, and after tribal council Morgan will have finally evened up 5-5, giving them a fighting chance should a merger be near.

Rupert thinks Shawn?s performance was pitiful, and he wants him off his island. While Trish openly laments how powerful Rupert has become. Even though it wasn?t by choice, she thinks Rupert?s days at Morgan have left him straddling both tribes and in an unbeatable position. In all honesty, she?s probably right but she doesn?t play her cards very well. While she has Jon?s full support who says “I?m not signing my one million dollars over to him”, she?s not bright enough to realize that Sandra is tight with Christa and that they both have more loyalty towards Rupert than any of their other tribe mates, them included. With Sandra and Christa in the fold, Rupert approaches Shawn to let him know even though he got out-squatted by a chick, he?s safe. Shawn receives similar information from Jon, the guy that repeatedly called him “ridiculous” yesterday and has openly despised him from jump. This leaves Shawn with all the power. Rupert, Christa and Sandra are set to vote for Trish, with Jon and Trish voting for Rupert.

The thing is, Jon and Trish are smart to fear their chances versus Rupert post-merge, but Shawn is not so smart. Either that or he just really enjoys eating fish. Or he just doesn?t like to be called ridiculous, so he joins Rupe?s group to vote off Trish 4-2. Let me just admit that I was pretty confident that Rupert was gone, and might have given up on this season had that happened. There?s really no one else to either root for or fawn over is there?

Next week: Jeff warns the castaways? that their past has come back to haunt them (reunion of previously voted off tribemates? Massage therapist, Nicole, perhaps???), and Jonny Fairplay becomes Jonny-Pain-In-The-Ass—at least according to Rupert, when he immediately realizes Jon voted against him. And Osten hits the wall—-again. What a freakin? baby!

On to hoops, Charles thinks Kobe should sit out until his legal problems are behind him and that he definitely should find another mode of transportation besides the motorcycle he pulled up in on Thursday night. Has Jay Williams taught us nothing? Antoine Walker looks to be in running shape (he better be) and intimated he might even play a little defense this year. Finally, Kenny the Jet thinks Carmelo and Lebron are going to make noise this year while Charles thinks good things don?t happen til Year 3. Sort of like a Dick Vermeil coached football team, huh? 8-0 on the Sunday evening horizon?

Finally, I?ve settled on my preseason college hoops predictions. This year we?ve expanded the prognostications to include 36 teams, representing the Big Dance participants through the #8 and #9 seeds. That?s a lot of teams to preview, so we?re breaking up Kill Bill style and you can consider this Volume 1 of 3. Enjoy?

36. Auburn ? (last seen taking the eventual champion Orangemen on in the round of 16, and losing by a single free throw) The backcourt of Marquis Daniels and Derrick Bird played a large part in the Tigers nearly dancing on to the Elite 8, and now that they?re gone, this year?s team will rely more heavily on the frontcourt. Marco Killingworth, Kyle Davis and Brandon Robinson will be asked to step up in the front court until Cliff Ellis finds suitable replacements at the two guard positions.

35. Colorado ? (last seen dropping to Michigan State by 15 in round one) The League already has their eye on seven foot junior David Harrison, and his teammate Michael Morandais (16.9 ppg) will also expect improvements inside from the big fella. No matter what they do in the tourney, they?re no better than 5th place in the Big 12.

34. LSU ? (last seen getting throttled by Purdue of all people on Day one of the NCAAs) Three of their the Tigers top four scorers from last season are gone, but this pick has as much to do with a solid incoming recruiting class as anything else. Undersized Tack Minor should immediately start making plays in the backcourt, while fellow freshman Brandon Bass will capably team inside with one of only two seniors on the entire roster in Jaime Lloreda.

33. Florida State ? (last seen still celebrating their second consecutive regular season victory over Duke) If you?re Leonard Hamilton you have to be so much happier in Tallahassee then you were getting your butt kicked every night with the pre-Jordan Washington Wizards. You?re even happier that senior scorer Tim Pickett is back for one more run. And believe it or not, the Noles even did a little recruiting and landed a nice one in Von Wafer. They?re not deep, but they?ll still probably beat Duke for a third straight year. Ugh.

32. Colorado State ? (last seen giving Duke everything the wanted before losing by 10 in round one) Matt Nelson?s still not a looker, but he?s still a seven footer that can block, rebound and score. Three starters from last year?s team return to battle the Mountain West title out with Utah and BYU.

31. USC ? (last seen blaming themselves for choosing to play for father-of-the-year Henry Bibby) As if having one set of twins wasn?t enough in Errick and Derrick Craven, Bibby thought it would be cute to also bring in Lodrick and Rodrick Stewart for this season. Aside from the confusing match-up problems having not one but two sets of twins presents, he also returns Desmon Farmer and his 18 points per game.

30. Boston College ? (last heard from as their tourney bubble bursted) Even though Troy Bell has graduated, it?s entirely possible that Al Skinner starts this season with a deeper, more talented team.

29. Louisville ? (last seen getting stood up by Cinderella Butler by 8 points in round 2) Reece Gaines is now kicking it in Orlando, leaving a lot of shots available for the returning Cardinals. Last season as a freshman, Francisco Garcia was good for 40+% from beyond the arc, and one can only guess that average will go down as the number of his attempts increase.

Don?t count on any of these teams making too much noise in this year?s tournament, but a win or two certainly isn?t out of the question.

More next week, and until then remember it?s Britney against the Music. I?m betting on Britney?