Yesterday was to be all about me rushing home from work in plenty of time to catch the 6p.m. Central tip of Duke-Wake, watching the first half live, hit pause on Replay, then run upstairs and watch the debut of Survivor-Amazon, while taping The Surreal Life on another TV, and then watching the second half of Duke-Wake immediately after the first tribal council.

Rather than focusing solely on the task at hand I got a little distracted. In the mid-morning my nephew, the Con-Man, got himself a baby brother, who has inexplicably been named after Joe Millionaire. While the name Evan currently brings visions of deceiving and bumbling construction workers to mind, this kid does have something very unique going for him. He shares a birthday with Mike Krzyzewski. I?d hate to think I?d ever play favorites with my nephews—but this is obviously some kind of sign from God that should not and can not be ignored.

Hopefully, little E.J. had a happier birthday than the guy who will be a spry and sage Wooden-esque 74 by the time he arrives on campus. Duke had a chance to finally assert themselves on the road against a quality opponent, 17th rated Wake Forest, and fell short. They carried a 14th straight winning streak against the Demon Deacons, but they had to battle another entity entirely.

Namely, Larry, Moe and Curly? Actually Larry Rose, Mike Kitts, and Bob Donato, an ACC officiating crew that felt compelled to blow the whistle 64 freakin? times. In a non-Big East or Big Ten game!!! I mean this wasn?t Providence-Georgetown, or Wisconsin-Purdue! Their only saving grace was that they were calling ticky-tack and phantom fouls on both teams equally. The result was a lack of any flow or continuity, a total of 8 players fouling out, and a game that lasted over 3 hours, meaning most of the country missed an entire first half of Memphis-Tulane. I know, I know—-whoopdeefreakindoo.

This is still a game that Duke should have won. Wake?s senior MVP Josh Howard, picked up his fourth foul early in the second half and logged only 27 minutes. But the Blue Devils managed only 4 assists as a team, and saw the worst shooting performance ever from Dahntay Jones who missed every one of his 12 field goal attempts. So with Dahntay?s Inferno icing up, and the fact that they fouled out 3 of their top six players (Casey Sanders, J.J. Redick, and Daniel Ewing) I knew that Duke had no hope once the game went to double-O.T. Chris Duhon had carried them offensively behind a career high 23 points, but after having played 44 minutes, his legs simply wouldn?t allow him to finish his shots.

Credit to my new least favorite player in college hoops, Lithuanian Vytas Danelius, who scored 20 with 14 boards and controlled the interior on both ends of the floor. After having lost big men Sanders, Shelden Williams and Shavik Randolph to fouls, why Coach K didn?t bring in Michael Thompson to bang is beyond me. Maybe Michael didn?t get his Coach a card or something.

Anyway, Wake is well on their way to winning the ACC and they deserve it after having beaten both Duke and Maryland at least once in league play.

So, let?s talk about Survivor. Was I right on Rob, or what? And was I really, really right on Heidi??? And how ironic that our boy Rob, would have fallen so quickly and so hard for our girl Heidi? The line of the night: “Well love is an awfully strong word for someone I?ve never actually spoken to.” What those other guys see in Shawna, I simply don?t get? I mean Jenna?s gotta be your second pick, is she?s not your first right?

That said the guys were idiots to sincerely think that CBS would design all the challenges to be completely physically demanding. Of course there were going to be puzzles and balance elements and crap that would serve as an equalizer. But even CBS probably didn?t think it would take Daniel-san an hour to scoot himself across a freakin? 12? log. How he avoided being the first castaway is a question that can only be answered by Rob?s Magic 8-ball.

Here?s what I really don?t get. This game is so freakin? simple. Especially early on. Don?t boss people around. Do your fair share. Don?t get sick. That?s it! Adhering to those three simple principles will most likely get you to the merger. But in the very first week we?ve got two young guys that are lazy/inept (Daniel and Ryan) and the boss man who?s getting on everyone?s nerves (Roger). And the chicks have Janet, who in between dry heaves, claimed she never thought it would be this hard. Dammit Janet! Have you no TV? Have you never seen the show? Each season Mark Burnett and Company make it a little bit harder to actually ?survive? the elements. Pull yourself together and stop with the whining and crying. And if you go back to my ?Coming Soon? article, you?ll see that somebody would have owed me 10 bucks.

I absolutely love that it took the women 6 hours to make a fire even though they were spotted the flint and kerosene, and that they?ve prioritized washing their buffs and drawers over filling their canteens with drinking water. And that it took them an entire day to chop down 4 small trees, and that they still don?t have a roof over their heads. And that they actually fried up a single minnow, or whatever that thing was that they caught. And that nobody could figure out a way to include the hearing impaired chick. These women are going to look very, very haggard by the end of this journey. And they?re going to be at each other?s throats—which means plenty of cat fights. Which is why Heidi, Jenna and Shawna should start competing topless in every future challenge. Distracting the other team is a noble strategy, and I?m sure CBS is prepared with the necessary blurring technology to keep the show family-friendly. Let?s just hope that Deena keeps her top on. And that the ladies continue to stay as clean as these girls?

You?ll find this shot and much, much more in the newest FHM on newstands now. As always—–you?re welcome.