After trading away three prospects, a ten year minor league catcher and Sam Fuld to get Matt Garza, the Cubs restocked their farm system today by trading mopey, turdish, Tom Gorzelanny to the Washington Nationals for three middling prospects.

Is it really restocking when you put three dented cans of pork and beans on a shelf?

The Cubs had already replaced the old catcher, Robinson Chirinos by signing Max Ramirez, who projects to be at least as good as Chirinos could ever expect to be.  (That’s not really a high hurdle to clear.)

Trading Gorzelanny seems to have the Cubs fanbase up in arms (at this point, anything gets them fired up), but I can’t summon the energy to pretend this is a big deal.

Gorzelanny pitched in 42 games in a year and a half for the Cubs and he wasn’t really all that good.  His best stint was last season when he posted a 1.42 ERA in the bullpen, but that was only six innings, and he bitched about having to be there the whole time.

He was good for the occasional good start, and normally at some point during one of those infrequent quality outings he’d get hit by a line drive.  It was uncanny.  He made $800,000 last year and was due a raise in arbitration (because everybody gets a raise in arbitration).

In return for the handsome Gorzelanny (he looks like he has several bones missing from his face), the Cubs receive:

Michael Burgess: A lefty hitting outfielder the Nats drafted with a sandwich pick between rounds one and two in 2007.  He played at both high A and AA last year and between the two levels hit 18 homers, drove in 85 runs and put up an .855 OPS.  He strikes out too much (116 times in 120 games) but walks a little (57).  He’ll likely spend 2011 in AA Tennessee.  He’ll be studying for his real estate license by mid-summer 2012.

AJ Morris was at High-A in 2010 and spent half the season as a starter (with good results) and then after some arm soreness finished the year in the bullpen where, according to Baseball America, he consistently threw in the mid-90s.  He’s a righty and while BA says he could spend some time in the big league bullpen, let’s hope he’s not needed and spend the year at Tennessee.

Graham Hicks is a lefty who spent 2010 throwing batting practice in the Sally League.  He gave up 84 hits in only 66 innings.  He was a fourth round pick in 2008 and he’ll see the big leagues some day.  By buying a ticket like the rest of us.

But what do you expect to get in return when you trade a mediocrity like Tom Gorzelanny?

With new pitching coach Mark Riggins already announcing that Jeff Samardzija is going to be in the bullpen if (when) he makes the team, Gorzelanny’s departure cuts the competition for the fourth and fifth spots to Carlos Silva, Randy Wells, Andrew Cashner, Casey Coleman and James Russell.

Who are we kidding?  It’s going to be Cashner and Silva.

Goddamnit, start printing those playoff tickets.