It’s true, it’s true. Those rumors you saw posted on the Drudge Report and various other media outlets all over the world are true. Desipio has just published our first book.
And, just in time for the holidays. Who knew?
The book is a collection of the greatest moments of the 2003 Cubs season, as captured here at Desipio Media Ventures.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss $18.95 goodbye.
Hey, if the Tribune can try and make the same amount off of you to read crap from Rick Morrissey and Paul “The Dwarf” Sullivan and whatever’s left of Mike Downey, why not spend the money on an actual good book?
It’s on sale now at our lovely Desipio Crap Fiesta Store.
The book is a complilation of some of the “best” (everything’s relative) columns from Desipio during the 2003 season. It starts in January with a trip to the Cubs Convention and goes all the way through the regular season and into the post season. You get all of the Cubs Reports from the season, the opening day GameCast in the rout of the Mets, playoff preview and review articles, Karry Ling’s interview with Steve Bartman (the interview was so timely, we didn’t even know Steve’s name at the time) and much, much more.
So now you’re saying, “Andy, I may be a dumb, naive Cubs fan, but why would I pay $18.95 for crap I already read for free on your Web site?”
That’s a good question. I’m glad I pretended that you asked it.
Because, when you’re old and gray (or older and grayer) you’re going to want to relive the Cubs season and when you log on here, you’re likely going to find that I’ve completely sold out and in an effort to pay the bills Desipio.com has sold out to the only way to make money on the Internet. It’ll be combination porn-Internet dating-Off-shore gambling site.
This guy will be gone: 
and the Chip Caray Terror Alert will have been deactivated.
But they will live on forever in the book.
The open letter to Chip Caray is in the book, too.
You know, going over the material for the book, I realized just how hard I was on Chip. But alas, I still don’t care. He deserves it.
Another thing the book did for me was it changed my outlook on the 2003 season. When you read it you’ll see just how low our expectations were for the Cubs. (You’ll also see that we hated Mark Grudzielanek for a long time.) As we went along during the summer, the Cubs teased us. They were in the race, then fell out of it, they were in first place and then third. After putting the book together and writing the Foreward and the Afterword for the book, I have a much better feeling about the 2003 Cubs.
And now, instead of wishing spring training were here so I could get over how last season ended, I wish it was here because I’m ready to do it all over again.
Well, a different ending would be nice. But you get the idea.
So for less than the price of a bleacher seat at Wrigley (well, at least on those stupid premium dates) you can not only savor the Cubs season in a very unique way. You can float a couple of bucks to Desipio. Just think of the hours of free entertainment we’ve thrown your way?
Or something.
And yes, I have now written more books than I’ve read.
And no, the book doesn’t come with crayons. Those are sold seperately.
Whiles supplies last! Call now! Operators are standing by!
Disclaimer: Only use in well ventilated areas. Do not spray in your face. For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. Starts healing skin on contact. Do not peel label off. For serious injuries, seek medical attention. Mix with water before serving. Do not turn upside down. Not for highway use. Safe to use in households with pets. Do not use near fire or flame. High in sodium. Contents under pressure. This is not a lifesaving device.
No crayons!?! What a gyp. Is there any chance that one lucky consumer will open their book and find a free Domingo Ramos rookie card inside? Now that would be great.
Sorry, Dolan, but your book isn’t listed with us.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/catalog-guide/guide/-/372286/re=b_bh_br_pg/104-3837397-3603114
If I’m in the book, and I read that story about how I hooked up with that 18 year old skank, I’m not only turning you in for singing fake autographs Dolan, I’m suing you for the bills she sent me from her doctor.
Who knew the clapp was so hard to cure?
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For the title of your retrospective on the Cubs this year, I think you should have used my song, "I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman."
If you’re thinking about doing a piece on one-time Sox great Wil Cordero, feel free to use "Hit Me Baby One More Time."
I guess you could use that one for Jeff Fassero also.
There had better be AT LEAST one Moran picture in that book. Heck, I’d pay $18.95 just for that picture… ;)
Do you have e-books available? I can’t wait to critique the book!
Where has my beloved Karry been. Is he still alive? Where’s his book at Dolan?
You may remember me, I posted here several months ago defending Neyer. You insulting him is just rediculous. Rob has gotten books published not once, not twice, but four times. His 4th book is due next year. He has also write for ESPN.com for nearly a decade. He towers over you, in terms of talent, integrity, inteligence, you name it.
As for his sexuality, lay off. It’s sad that a grown man like you resort to poking fun at someone else’s sex prefferences. If he is gay as that website claims then so what?
Thanks, Gene!
It’s true I have "write for ESPN.com for nearly a decade".
I love you too, sweetie.
Rob
Thanks for the shout out, Gene!
To Gene: "If he is homosexual, so what?"
If he is homosexual, I by all means urge him to come to my home state, where he can marry Gene, Bill James, Frank White, Steve Balboni, Charlie Liebrandt, Dick Howser’s rotting corpse, George Brett’s hemorrhoids, Theo Epstein or Craig Biggio (if Rob could woo him away from Chip Caray’s clutches).
As a former elected official, I’ll be able to perform a civil ceremony, perhaps near the Green Monster at Fenway Park. In the spirit of Feeding the Green Monster, I could furlough Willie Horton, convicted rapist and murderer, just for old times sake and let him bludgeon Rob to death before tossing him over the left field wall. That would just be an example of a wedding ceremony we could have here in the Great State of Massachussetts for Mr. Neyer.
By the way, if anyone sees Chip Caray, tell him I want my eyebrows back.
I’ve been dropping in on this site since June, so I had to use Dolan’s nifty new "Desipio Google" to backtrack on "Gene". It took me to February–good stuff I say.
Oh, how I wish he were real. I almost had tears in my eyes reading that. For too many obvious reasons, there’s no way he is but…classic stuff.
Andy, I’m buying your goddamn book.
Ahem, I’ve been on this site for years and they still call me new?
MEAN…WOO!…BY GOD GENE!
Gene, uh, I went over to Rob Neyer’s web site, and it appears that maybe you were a little over-zealous in his defense. According to Neyer himself, he’s written 3 books, and technically only 2 have been published. Also, he’s written for ESPN.com since 1996, which by my calculations is 7 years, not quite a decade. Maybe you should do a little research on your best friend, before you jump to his defense.
Whoo hoo! I’m on page 155.
We can’t wait for the next book. We figure we’ll be all over that bad boy.
Hey, it’s Gene and Rob!
You will be sending me an advance copy, won’t you Dolan?
Or wait, I see that you’ve already released the book, so it can’t be an advance copy.
Nothing gets past me.
I can’t wait. I hope you really compare Tyler Houston’s OPS divided by his fielding pct multiplied by his strikeouts in 1998 to Paul Bako’s this year to Rick Wrona and Lloyd McClendon’s in 1989 to Ron Hassey and Steve Lake’s in 1984 to Junior Kennedy in 1980.
Hey, dammit, I am like, still not so gay? OK??!!
I did not mean to create the impression that I am Neyer’s best freind. I was one of his school teachers over 20 years ago. Gosh, I feel so old..
So I was off a little bit on the number of years and books. But my point is (I repeat since you missed it first time) Andy Dolan’s accomplishments pale in comparision to Rob’s. That’s not a knock on Mr. Dolan, not all of us can be as success as Rob is. But when he takes ever opportunity to belittle Neyer, then Andy should take a good long look at himself in the mirror. You area very small, petty man Mr. Dolan.
Rob Neyer went to school?
I may be petty.
But I’m not small.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Dolan and Petty… Now that sounds like a law firm… Either that or a NASCAR ownership team… ;)
That the glory of this world…is appearance leaves the world more glorious, if we feel it is a show of some fuller splendour; but the sensuous curtain is a deception…if it hides some colourless movement of atoms, some…unearthly ballet of bloodless categories. by free online poker