Showtime starts year two of “The Franchise” tonight and this year the focus is on Ozzie Guillen, Carlos Zambrano and the rest of the shitstorm that is the 2012 Miami Marlins of Florida.

Carlos is one of my all-time favorite players, and Showtime was wise to release a 3:35 teaser of tonight’s premiere episode, featuring the big man.  He does not disappoint.

Marlins President David Sampson says he’s glad that Carlos hasn’t been a “pain in the ass piece of shit.”  Uh…OK.  High praise?

It ends with Carlos in the clubhouse watching awful Marlins closer Heath Bell try to close out the game.  It’d be better if they showed one where Heath blows it (he’s done that to Carlos at least three times this year), and then end with a shot of Carlos calmly walking over to Heath’s locker and taking a dump in it.