This is the kind of shit that we’re really going to miss when funnyman righthander Ryan Dempster is walking seven guys in three and a third in a playoff game this fall.
Dempster’s been a durable pitcher for the Cubs, though several of his seasons have ended early when he blew out a hamstring running to any camera with a light on top of it. Â And my sources tell me** that the Cubs actually had a trade worked out yesterday morning, but Dempster refused to waive his 10-5 rights to allow the trade to go through because he wanted to hang with Zach and Will last night. Â I mean, how can you not put your career ahead of a chance to pay back the restaurant that waives the banquet room fee for your charity events, by eating one of their pizzas on the Wrigley Field mound, before a game, with the stars ofÂ Out Cold**Â andÂ Curious George? Â
I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure somebody has a hilarious video of Ferrell and Dempster trading awful Harry Caray impressions.
Oh, how we’ll miss Ryan Dempster.***
* – I just made the stuff up about Dempster turning down a trade to hang around one more day to meet Galafanakis and Ferrell, but it seems plausible, right?
** – I liked Out Cold enough that I bought a copy of it.
And, hey, Lee Majors is in it!
*** – My dislike of Dempster has always been irrational, but it stems from a very real place. Â His role in the Victor Diaz debacle the second to last Saturday of the 2004 season and his pants-shitting in his Game One start against the Dodgers in 2008. Â I appreciate how he’s pitched out of his mind so far this year to dramatically, and artificially spike his trade value. Â Fact is, he’s 35, his numbers dropped in every major category for four straight years and I’d be shocked if his regression to the mean doesn’t start post-haste. Â Congratulations to whatever team trades for the guy with the 1.86 ERA and “great clubhouse chemistry” and gets a guy with a handful of terrible impressions, lame magic tricks, and an ERA likely to be on the wrong side of five the rest of the way.