In case you were wondering, Kazuhito is Japanese for Keanu; and while we’re at it Tadan-oh, Tadan-uh. And I mean what’s the big deal anyway? It’s not like Coco Crisp was in the movie, right. Right???

Rick Pitino should be back by the weekend, but apparently Rick Majerus will not. In fact, the fat Rick may not be back ever, due to (gasp) heart problems. Utah wasn’t going anywhere anyway, Louisville on the other hand…but I digress.

I had always heard that Seattle was none too kind to the Real World’ers either, so Chicago and San Diego might still have a little competition. A couple of gems that Andy missed from his abbreviated recap of last night’s episode:

The bea-otch of a dude that called the cops on Robin, is hopefully not hearing the end of it from friends, family or anyone he comes in contact with the rest of his days. Not only did he say he was punched, but also (sniff, sniff) scratched. What a freakin’ loser… which is saying quite a lot when compared to the likes of Frankie and Robin. Other losers receiving votes from this episode: the doorman who wouldn’t allow sweet, dumb lil’ Cameran admittance. I mean do you even look at a girl like that’s ID? And the bar “manager,” who didn’t do the right thing by making the cops go looking for the girl and instead was their volunteer “bounty hunter”. I mean would you rather manage the bar made famous by appearing in every other Real World episode, or the one known for leading to the arrest of two cast members, and the denial of two others? Gee, sounds like a great place to get your drink on! How much for a one-way ticket to San Diego???

On the way to taking Brad to the pokey, the arresting officer makes reference to the state’s penal code, to which Brad responds, “Penal code, I didn’t even take out my penal.” He’s right of course, that was last week.

He also did himself no favors by consistently referring to San Diego’s finest as “Boys.” But he does get props for laughing when calling to get bailed out and appropriately seeking the humor of the situation, as opposed to Robin who Jaquese had to urge to stop crying so he could at least understand where she was at. Not so tough behind bars huh, Robin? Didn’t think so, and if you’re smart you won’t go dropping any n-bombs in next week’s episode towards any of your fellow and esteemed inmates. I’ve got the early odds of a prison shower scene with a couple of strategically placed, yet oversized ‘blurs’ next week at 7:1.

But before all that was the real laughter from this episode. Randy wisely sobered up real quick when faced with incarceration, but then predictably succumbed to full drunkie mode by the time he got back to the crib and tried to explain to Jaquese what had happened (“He got ‘rested for nuffin, man. Nuffin! He wudn’t even steppin’ on no toes”). Jacquese no doubt well-versed in bailing out friends and associates knew they had some time to kill during the ensuing waiting game, and fashioned a “Free Brad” sign he taped to his sweatshirt. Following suit, Randy made his own Free Brad sign which appeared as illlegible scribbles. Frankie was also drunk, and fell into an entertaining pattern of trying to hook up with yet another roommate, this time the nearly passed out Randy. Nevermind she knows full well that Robin is diggin’ the shaggy man. Her boyfriend must be so proud. Though I have it on good authority that ‘tattoo artists’ are never lacking in the girlfriend department. This includes her man, Dave. Whos tattoo shop is conveniently located, and by conveniently I mean directly, across from a strip joint.

Jamie’s contribution to the episode? Besides not being cute enough for Andy? Glad you asked. When learning that not only had Cameran been turned away from San Diego’s PB, but Jacquese had too, she asked him if he’d tried to tip the bouncer a “Jackson.” Which if I’m not mistaken, means she thought it would have been a good idea to drop a twenty-spot on his way in the door. She followed that bit of wisdom up with apparently a post-bar fishing session off the pier. Oh Jamie, you’re just as dumb as the rest of the girls, aren’t you?

In case you were too wrapped up in the pre-Golden Globes/Last Game of the NFL Season hype to appreciate last week’s sports offerings, ESPN Classic has you covered tonight. They’ll play both Kansas’ embarrassing home loss to the Richmond Spiders, as well as ol’ Roy giving up a 24-point lead to Florida State.

Speaking of the greatest conference in hoops, don’t look now, but the ACC has 8 teams in the top 41 of the RPI. Clemson is bringing up the conference cellar at an otherwise respectable 55. Virginia (8th) is going to need to go at least 7-9 in conference, but don’t be surprised with other power conferences suffering well-publicized down seasons (see: Big 10, PAC-10) if the ACC get no less than 7 teams in the NCAA tourney. Of which you maybe surprised to learn that it’s N.C. State that currently sits in 2nd place (behind Duke).

And if last week wasn’t good enough, this next one is not shaping up too shabby either. Starting with Sunday’s game in which I’m feeling good about Carolina’s chances on the backs of Stephen Davis and Deshaun Foster, followed by KU/MU on Big Monday, followed by Duke/Carolina mid-week. Problem?

Only that the all-important sports schedule was not consulted for some reason in planning this year’s family ski trip to Keystone, Colorado. In fact I could still be in the air by the time CBS begins their pre-game broadcast. It also means that if the Jayhawks declaw the Tigers, and Carolina fades and converts the Blue Devils, that it won’t be because I’m hiding that you don’t hear from me.

And because my in-laws openly despise reality programming, that means I’ll be no less than week behind in Real World-San Diego, Real World/Road Rules Inferno, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee, American Idol, The Osbournes, Newlyweds and The Apprentice viewing. Sigh. Of course there’s no TV, in Vacation.

Wait a second, yes there is!!!

And in closing for what may be more than a week, unless I’m able to find an internet cafe in the River Run village, I’ve now seen Britney’s Toxic video no less than 59 times. (Which almost has Berlin’s “Metro” finally out of my head, no thanks to VH1 and Amir!).

Had I been directing, less motorcycle and lame base-jumping bits; more futuristic flight attendant and shiny outfit scenes from your right.

But that’s just me…

Also just me? I hate to admit it, but I’ve been reading Bill Simmons’ travelogue at ESPN’s Page 2. Uggh. Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in (Shoot me, I’ve been reading—enjoying—the Hollywood Jock, as well)… And what’s worse, Bill wouldn’t even be the fourth funniest contributor at this site. Then again, looks and a feminine-sounding voice should count for something I suppose.