Join us at five tonight as we put our own spin on Super Bowl XXXVIII. Then stick around as we do the same thing to Survivor: All Stars.
Yes, nothing is sacred.
Oh, and while you wait for the coverage to start (at 5 p.m. CENTRAL time, I should point out) check ou this AP article penned by our old buddy (and erstwhile NFL expert) Drew Lawrence. Nicely done, Drew.
All right, B.C. is ready to go! Now if we can just get a game worthy of the unnecessary two weeks of pre-game hype.
First off, during this pre-game Craptacular, they just showed the Aerosmith guys flying the Space Shuttle. I think we can call off the investigation into why the Columbia crashed. Most likely one of the groupie heat sheilds failed.
Secondly, on NBC they have the World Poker Tour Championship and there’s a guy on there named Jose Rozenkrantz. I’m not making this up. Gee, how do you suppose a guy with a German name ends up in South America?
Hmm?
Is it just me or is it disorienting that Vince Van Patten is the play-by-play announcer for this? What, Willie Ames wasn’t available?
UPDATE: Ron Rose is your World Poker Tournament champion. I know I was on the edge of my seat. Phew.
Sounds like he’s from a Latin American version of Hamlet, to me…
Afternoon all.
Pats by 12.
How can CBS do a four hour pregame and nobody gets to the bottom of how Kenny Margerum could be the only player to wear black shoes in Super Bowl XX?
I like Samuel L. Jackson as much as the next guy, but don’t you think he narrates all this sports stuff just for the free tickets?
I know I would be.
Is it just me, or do you have 9:14 in the first quarter as the moment when Jake Delhomme implodes all over the field?
Besides, if Rodney Peete plays, do we get lots of shots of Holly Robinson-Peete?
![]("http://www.cattdaddy.com/holly.jpg"/)
There is no one here but us South Americans
Weeeeeeeeeeee!
OK, we need to give Tom Brady’s girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan equal time.
![]("http://www.tccandler.com/Bridget_Moynahan_Boots.jpg"/)
It’s official, the Patriots screwed up the player introductions forever two years ago. Today, both teams got introduced collectively.
This means no one will ever top Ray Lewis’ "I’m having a seizure and crapping my pants" dance from
Supey XXXV.
hmmm, is "Supey" officially outlawed?
Is Bill Belichick the only guy in the NFL who uses a combover, even though he’s got enough hair to cover his own head? I find this disturbing, to say the least.
Major flaw in the Tostitos wedding day commercial where the bride busts the groomsmen watching football. If she was such a big football fan, why the hell did she schedule the wedding for the day of a big game? Hmm?
By the way, Bill Parcells e-mailed me and wanted me to wish Belichick luck. But I’m not doing it the way they seem to like to.
I’m the worst lip-syncher…ever.
Dolan…enough with the Supey. You’ve been warned.
Love,
taggs
Hello again, America, your old pal Karry Ling here on the field at the Houston Astrodome as we get ready for the big game.
Will somebody check and see what time kickoff is? It’s already 5:18 and the only people here are me and Barrett Robbins. That can’t be a good sign.
Oh, look! Stanley Wilson!
This just in…Beyonce’s purty.
Uh, Karry…try Reliant Stadium. Just a hunch.
Jessica Simpson just got outacted in a commercial by Gonzo…and Animal. Ouch, that had to hurt.
The new Ford GT looks like a crappy car. They should give me one for free and then I could publicly change my opinion if necessary.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Watch it, Dolan.
I want to point out that I am in the exact same spot that I was as Paul Bako flew out to end Game Seven. It’s the first time me and the laptop have been here since. If I start weeping uncontrollably, you’ll know why.
Sob.
I thought there would be a gravestone in the way?
I love it when people refer to him as "retired rapper Jay Z." Huh?
Speaking of that, retired country singer Garth Brooks is going to spring training with Kansas City. He might beat out Joe Randa.
Earl Campbell has one of Bill Cosby’s sweaters on.
Don Maynard looks like he got dressed in 1967.
YA Tittle died and nobody told him.
Oh, great, Ed Hochuli and his enormous pecs are doing the game. Get ready for every penalty to be overly explained.
The Panthers won the toss and will recieve. ETA to Jake Delhomme interception, three plays.
I’m here on the Panthers sidelines and they were ecstatic to win the toss and get the ball first. Head coach John Fox turned to the team and yelled, "Whoopee! We get the ball first! Punt team, get ready!"
He Hate Me takes the kickoff and He Ate Turf just across the 20.
More fighting after the play than during it during the kickoff.
Sauerbrun with the crappy line-drive punt that gets returned 28 yards… Chicago sports fans have seen that a time or two, haven’t they?
Jake’s first pass hits Steven Tyler in stride on the sidelines. Three and out.
Todd Sauerbrun is in to pount and the back of his jersey still says HE HATE WANNY.
Mine does, too.
Troy Brown returns the punt inside the 50.
And yes, I’m creeped out by CBS’introductions where the guys walk into the screen. Yikes.
Gumbel and Simms have interrupted each other twice already. The over/under line on that happening during this game is about 61.
Troy Brown just caught a first down pass and broke his nose.
Ouch.
Hochuli telling us why Brady’s pass that was definitely intentional grounding wasn’t. I think I know who the NFL wants to win this game.
Brady gets called for using the "head bob" to get the Panthers off.
Off sides.
What did I say?
That pass was ruled incomplete because the ball was a forward pass that was not caught by a player on either team!
Second down!
Wait, it’s second and then because no yardage was gained on first down!
Anything else I can babble about before I let the next play start?
Mmm…protein shakes!
Are the refs being paid by the flag? Yikes.
The Panthers defense stiffens (so many jokes about the head bob, so little time) and the Pats have to settle for a field goal.
Viniateri shanks it and we’re still scoreless.
10:29 to go, first quarter.
Wow! Vinateri misses from 31!
The paint on the grass must have gotten to him.
Can I just say I LOVE the commercial where the guy has the monkey riding him bareback in the shower?
Thanks for completely screwing me up Phil Simms.
Phil and Greg are giving much love to Ted Washington and I agree. If the Bears had kept him, they might have won eight games!
Delhomme’s second pass only missed his receiver by ten yards. He’s getting closer!
Jake Delhomme has that Tony Eason look on his face. Note to Panthers…not a good thing.
I have to say it: Carolina’s offense looks absolutely pathetic right now.
Look what my wife (Edgar) said about me.
Troy Brown just returned a kick with a big wad of cotton hanging out of his nose. Is that a Breathe Wrong strip?
That’s why pitchers no longer fear Edmonds, too.
BTW you need to read the link in #36 for that to make any sense.
Take your time. We’ll wait.
When you see commercials you have seen before the Super Bowl airs (Like that Quattro commercial), doesn’t everyone else think that the commercial guys screwed up and put up an old one too???
I know I think that.
Wait, the Survivor All-Stars are on next? Really? I had no idea. They should promote that!
Sweet replay of Mike Rucker kneeing Troy Brown through the facemask. Hee hee.
This game is going to set me back 100 years.
John Shoop will be relevant after this.
Why do people go crazy for the stupid commecrials? Just because it’s the Super Bowl doesn’t mean they don’t still totally suck.
I saw the preview for this Van Helsing movie before "Along Came Polly" two weeks ago. The movie looks like it might be cool, but that’s the worst title…ever.
I think of Van Helsing and the first thing I want to know is if the lead singer is:
a) David Lee Roth
b) Sammy Haggar
c) Gary Cherrone.
Panthers game plan.
First down: Stephen Davis, two yards.
Second down: Stephen Davis, two yards.
Third down: Jake Delhomme incomplete pass.
Fourth down: Punt.
Brilliant!
Is that some actual fan cheering I hear in the background?
Hey, the wide receiver screen for one yard! Great play!
Brilliant!
Is it just me, or does Jake not know that the field has a "left" side, too?
Is that John Fox with the "I know Jake Delhomme sucks but he has been lucky this season…" face I just saw?
Punt every four plays?
Brilliant!
Spell Guinness correctly!
Even Brillianter!
red this one, it’s better…
Todd Sauerbrun gets a delay of game penalty!
The Patriots get the ball inside the 50 again. This time they will score.
Every time CBS goes to commercial, I just get all fired up that we’ll see more hilarious bears?
What is the "gay overtone" quotient in the movie "Troy" since it stars effeminate superstars Brad Pitt, Eric Bana AND Orlando Bloom?
Yikes.
The Willie Nelson Tax Advice Doll was inspired, however.
I still think Marino is going back to Miami because he hates Jim Nantz.
Why is Tony Eason laughing at me?
The refs are [expletive deleted] stealing the game!
Tom Brady is 4 of 7 for 37 yards right now. With that sort of record, shouldn’t he have a hot girlfriend? Oh, wait, he does.
If Phil Simms can spot Brady making eye contact with his receivers and telling them to catch a screen pass, why can’t the Panthers?
My favorite thing about the past two pregames on CBS was that Nantz wore hats for part of both of them. The championship game he did because they were outside in the snow and today they had some strange feature where he and Deion rode longhorn cattle. (Not making that up.)
Both times, Marino tried to take Nantz’s hat off, which caused Nantz to cry like a little girl because he has such an elaborate combover that a quick removal of the hat would show off the bald spot.
He’s the TV sports version of Kevin Costner, hair wise.
Will Witherspoon just ate Troy Brown and his broken nose on an ill advised third and three reverse.
Simms said that nobody knows Will Witherspoon, but didn’t he have a sitcom named after him in the 80s with Ricky Schroeder and Jason Bateman?
I’m normally an advocate of trick plays, but if it’s 3rd and 3 you have to run the ball and give Vinateri another chance. By the way, Ken Walter got in the way of that snap better than Alex Gonzalez on that one groundball.
Wow, I looked just Randall Simon on that one.
Oh wait, no I didn’t.
I hope Adam Sandler keeps getting to star in movies so I can get work.
The Panthers threw the ball on first down. And it still missed the receiver.
Carolina, three possessions, negative two yards total offense.
Yee haw!
Look, Ted Washington’s good, but he’s also an old man and he weighs 400 pounds, if they run at him enough, by the third quarter he’ll either die of exhaustion, or one of his legs will break again. Tim Krumrie’s cringing just thinking about it.
What’s the score?
Blackburn and Chelsea may well have a higher score than this game…
The only way the Panthers can get a first down is to get a penalty from the Pats. A cheap one at that.
First down, Panthers!
Sure it came on a New England penalty, but hey, it still counts.
They now have more first downs than yards.
Hopefully that B.S. holding penalty won’t turn out to be Carolina’s biggest gain of the day.
The only problem with that, Phil, is that baseball umpires change their strike zones all the time during the game.
Moron.
Karry Ling here down on the field, I just spoke with Patriots’ linebacker Teddy Bruschi and he told me:
"Get out of here you creepy old man! God, what IS that smell? Security!"
Back to you, Andy.
In an absolutely stunning development, the Panthers are going to punt. Again.
Whatever Jake Delhomme has, I think Tom Brady just caught it.
Honestly, any Bears fan could come up with a fool proof game plan to attack the Panthers defense.
Terry Cousin in one of their corners, just throw at his guy every play.
I was going to say that the first quarter was the worst 15 minutes of offensive football I’ve ever seen, but then I realized I am a Chicago Bears fan and have seen a John Shoop offense for over three years. So I’m just ignoring that thought and moving on.
Was Mike Ditka high during the filming of that commercial?
71 total combined offensive yards.
That sucks.
Not sure about mentally being high, but physically maybe (See: penis).
You know, if nobody scores any points tonight, it could be one of the more boring Super Bowls in recent memory.
Patton Oswalt in a kilt? Comedy gold.
It’s hard to watch Da Coach mock baseball for two reasons.
1) It’s the only sport a Chicago team is good at.
2) Mike can’t get it up.
Jake Delhomme just keeps falling down and going boom.
Ouch.
Alert the affiliates, we’re heading for quintuple overtime!
SOMEBODY do SOMETHING…
Hey everybody! Let’s all go to seewhathappens.com! I’m not getting enough commercials as it is.
Is it just me or does Pats’ offensive coordinator Charlie Weis’ hair look purple?
Somewhere, Jerry Angelo is watching this NE offense and wishing he’d waited for the Super Bowl to end so he could hire him to the be the new Bears’ coach.
Carolina has 0 offensive yards right now, with 10:15 left in the 2nd quarter. Just so you know… That is terrible.
I’m stunned Hochuli didn’t tell us how short that ball was on the measurement.
Carolina stopped Brady on a QB sneak on third and an inch, and now it’s fourth and an inch.
What are the odds on not gaining one inch on consecutive plays?
Anyone?
Odds are pretty good.
Looked to me like Carolina stuffed Smith, but the spot says otherwise.
Cue Shaq with the "these f@#$ing refs are trying to steal the game" line.
Carolina should challenge that spot. He lost a half yard.
Carolina reviews… This is getting interesting.
Hahaha
In fact, Carolina is challenging the spot. I think they’ll win this. There’s no way Smith ever got to the imaginary gold line that Ed Hochuli will see on the replay.
The only reason the little gold line is relevant is that when the refs measured, you could see tha half the ball was across that line.
By the way, Bud Lite just proved again that nothing’s funnier than a flatulent horse.
The question will be is if the replay is conclusive enough to show that he was stuffed at the line of scrimmage or before. Considering CBS is getting more money by showing commercials, we may never know.
You know who the most valuable player in this game is right now?
ABSOLUTELY NOBODY!
I’ll bet that flatulent horse recently had some Beefaroni.
I don’t know how you could look at that replay and give the Pats a first down. But Ed Hochuli and his giant pecs just did that very thing.
Jenkins is a very good defensive tackle, but he is killing the Panthers this drive.
Karry Ling here on the sidelines with Patriots’ tight end Daniel Graham. Daniel, you played at Colorado, were you recruited there with one of those infamous sex parties?
Graham: "Go f@#$ yourself."
I’ll take that as a "no" then?
Hey, the ball reached the end zone!
Nobody caught it, but still. It’s something.
Nobody is ever going to score. Yeesh.
David Givens caught that one just like Bob Davie taught him.
Which is why he dropped it.
Another FG attempt by Viniateri, this one’s blocked and no good.
On Friday, Bill Simmons wrote a whole thing about how Viniateri gets an exemption for life as a Super Bowl hero. He’s putting that to the test.
And yes, the new Starsky and Hutch movie looks tremendous.
What is the object of the Pepsi commercial with the guy crying in the diner? That black guys like fat chicks? What, we didn’t already know that?
Somebody, please tell me, what in the world have we done to deserve this clunker?
I’m here at Craig Biggio’s house and we’re all watching the game without pants on!
Gotta go, we’re gonna play "Baby Elephant Walk" again!
Hey at least I’m not playing the same character I play in every other movie!
This time, I have long hair.
Gee, who saw the "Jake Delhomme blindside fumble" coming?
Get Viniateri ready, he’s gonna get to shank another one.
Worst Super Bowl ever.
Patriots recover a fumble at the 20. Maybe somebody will do something this time.
See Ben, this is why I wanted to sit in the back seat.
Gumbel just said, "The Patriots are still shooting blanks in the red zone."
Sounds like a Levitra promo.
Tom Brady with the first down!
Here’s your Super Bowl MVP!
Hey, a touchdown! To me!
And then Tom Brady body slammed me Al Franken style in the end zone.
Ow.
Somebody give the Lombardi Trophy to the Patriots, because they just won Super Bowl XXXVIII with that touchdown…
If you think this Delhomme offense is going to score 7 points, you are kidding yourself.
OK, it’s 7-0 New England with 3:05 to go in the second quarter.
Has there ever been a safer seven point lead in a Supey?
I love that word.
I’m also a big fan of the Visa, big, tall Lesbian Olympic beach volleyball player commercial.
My eyes! Ouch!
How do you spell Super Bowl Commercial Success?
H-A-R-D N-I-P-P-L-E-S
Have no fear! We’ll score at least seven.
It’s ugly Phil? Thanks for telling us.
Do they sell men’s clothes were Phil bought that suit?
He Hate Me hates good field position, too!
Greg Gumbel: "It’s raining yellow."
There are SO MANY Edmonds jokes I could say here.
Did Greg just say it’s raining yellow?
Yummy.
Is it just me or does the Patriots’ mascot look like Teddy Bruschi?
Oh my God!
First down Panthers! This one might not be over yet. Although if Delhomme throws that far behind a receiver again it’ll get picked off.
Wow, Johnny Depp IS hot.
Ricky Proehl caught a first down pass…twice. It still only counts as one first down, though.
Uncanny.
Carolina needs to do something here, because they elected to receive the ball on the opening kickoff. So if they don’t score right now it might really be over.
I’m sorry, but these commercials with the motorcycle guys are just dumb.
I think that in this game, getting the ball first is a disadvantage.
Touchdown Steve Smith! Thirty nine yards.
Who knew?
Whoa…
That was absolutely stunning.
Patriots shouldn’t have blitzed there…
Whoa whoa whoa. This needs to stop now. I believe Mr. Belichek will be running the clock out now.
Hey, we are sucking the energy out of this game more than the football teams.
We suck.
The extra point makes it 7-7.
CBS needs to add some stuff to their "America’s Most Watched Network" promo.
Like, "The Price Is Right" the show watched by the most kids faking they are sick to stay home from school,
and
"Cold Case" with the hottest chick to have the worst haircut ever, Kathryn Morris.
My first half "under" is starting to look shaky.
The offenses are exploding!
Deion Branch with a 50 yard reception, suddenly it’s a veritable offensive explosion.
I need a sedagive.
"Sedagive?"
If you got that, pat yourself on the back.
It’s now third down, Pats use their last timeout. Whatever Brady does, he must not get sacked. That would probably cost the Patriots three points 95 percent of the time, although the way Vinateri is kicking tonight you never know.
Ahem.
I’m patting myself on the back.
Hump? What hump?
Carolina Panthers owner and Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy in the house…
Touchdown Patriots!
That over/under line of 38 is starting to get really whimsy.
I told you David Givens was a stud!
OK, maybe I was the only one who never realized it.
I love Damon Gimmons! Just like love Mike McGuire and Sammy Sooser!
Who needs some more Glenlivet?
The Patriots get the ball at halftime. I think they march down the field, score a touchdown, and the competitive part of this ballgame is over. Although I could be wrong.
So the David Givens TD gives the Pats the lead again. It’s 14-7, and the Pats squib the kickoff so that Carolina can have a legit chance at a Hail Mary or two.
Huh?
The Panthers have a lot of confidence in Jake right now.
So they run the ball with 12 seconds left.
We get it Phil. You don’t like the squib kick.
The John Shoop draw actually works and the Panthers get a field goal to end the half.
14-10 NE at the break.
See you in an hour when the halftime’s over.
I kid because I care.
Somebody get out the digital camera and snag us some shots of the Lingerie Bowl.
Is Grady Little managing the Patriots now?
Playing it safe doesn’t win you squat there Belichek.
Good news! We’re almost set to announce we’ve signed Greg Maddux.
Bad news! I fell down the stairs and hurt myself, so I’m turning the end of the negotiations over to Grady Little.
Somebody, please tell me why, if Carolina somehow wins this, that sports fans in such great sports towns as Chicago and Boston get screwed while areas that don’t even care like Carolina and Florida get World’s Championships? Seriously, something is WRONG with that.
Stop throwing shit at me. I mean it!
At halftime, the Houstonians are throwing things at hometown boy Jim Nantz during his part of the show.
Muahahahahahahaha.
I want Aerosmiff!
Did they just say THIRTY-FIVE MINUTE HALFTIME SHOW?!?!?!
I need more JT than that.
Ironically, NBC has counterprogrammed the Super Bowl with Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and ESPN with figure skating.
Hmm?
I wonder which demographic they’re going for?
Cry me a river, Dwyer.
Super Bowl halftime are going to involve U2 for years, just to class it up a bit. Like when Bush subliminally semi-mentions 9-11 at every turn.
I wonder what demographic Janet is going for with this performance.
Could Janet Jackson possibly have MORE clothes on.
Sigh.
As long as Nelly is alive, St. Louis will always be in the Super Bowl.
Keep those Sprewells spinnin…
Maybe we can get a couple more acts on there for 15 second versions of their songs…And yes, Foghat and Ram Jam, I’m talking to you.
What is this shit?
Timberlake’s Tribute to Tron.
I LOVE IT!
I guess we’re not going to get a rendtion of "New England: The Patriots and We." I think that got buried after Eason got knocked out of the game…
I’m here, too. But I’m invisible!
Janet Jackson versus Jessica Simpson… I think I’d make the line on that one Jackson -2. But that is just me.
Oh, for chrissakes, Janet took a break and put MORE clothes on.
By the way, her plastic surgery was much more successful than little brother’s. That’s a fine rack. Even if it is hidden behind a bullet proof bodice.
If we are a part of the Rhythm Nation, can we secede?
Speaking of "Queer Eye", Timberlake sounding a little more gay than usual.
Apparently, Janet is anti-illiteracy.
What a controversial stance!
It bothers me that I actually appreciate that Justin Timberlake is a talented little s@#$. Hey, I didn’t say I was happy about it.
Was that a boob?
There you go Andy!
Once I get done rasslin, I’m gonna come in for a couple of 3rd and longs…
Oh my God!
Where was the Parcells/Jerry Jones gratitude kiss?!?!?
The NFL cameras must have missed that.
Wouldn’t it be sweet if Ray Lewis was stabbing someone while he was singing "Tomorrow"?
Speaking of botched plastic surgeries, here’s Jerry Jones singing the hits of "Annie."
Karry Ling here reporting live from the sidelines of the Lingerie Bowl. The score is me four, my pants…uh…minus four?
This is great.
There’s not enough hand lotion in the world.
CBS,
Nobody cares about your crappy morning show. Get over it. Thanks.
Regards,
-Brian Crozier
Another reason to hate Justin Timberlake.
All right, back to the boring stuff. Like the football game.
Hey, there’s the "Two Dicks! Wow!" girl. Unfortunately, there haven’t been enough injuries for her to make more of a mockery of herself during this game. At least she is giving Jessica Simpson a run for her money in the "Biggest Moron in Reliant Stadium Tonight" contest.
Hey Andy, I’m wearing the scarf I tied you to the headboard with last night!
That’ll teach you to try and break into my hotel room!
Andy,
I think Karry has done it again.
Armen Keteyian announces that Adam Viniateri is going for longer traction this half. I don’t want to know.
And, a naked fat guy is slowing down the start of the second half.
I think Karry just decided to streak for Bonnie across the midfield NFL symbol.
Karry Ling down here on the field…OK, I’m actually on my way to a police cruiser.
Avenge me!
Avenge me!
Temple Beth-El Johnson returned the kick to the 25. Now it’s time for run, run, pass, punt.
Grrrrreat.
Anyone know who did the halftime show for the Bears SB?
Who has the momentum? Personally, I think the building national hatred for Phil and Greg has the momentum.
Not only was it a boob, but Middle America has called to confirm/bemoan it…
Another shanked punt by Ken Walter. Where’s Brooks Barnard when you need him?
Gumbel defending the punter, ignoring the fact he has sucked all night.
We need more aerolas on TV.
As for the Bears halftime. It was on NBC, I think Don Johnson sang Hearbeat and then everybody did the safety dance.
I think Justin accidentally pulled Janet’s right boob out. Let’s go to the replay.
Hey, get on the defense that has given up ten points to the CAROLINA PANTHERS!!! I mean, come on, IT’S CAROLINA!
Personally, I think it is the silent S that is causing Ken problems.
Over on VH1 Michael Ian Black is breaking down the old halftimes in "I Love the ’80s Halftime Shows".
Accidentally?
Second base is a wondrous place.
I just made bail, and in the holding cell, we saw a replay of JT ripping off Janet’s bra.
All I can say is that my "We Got Wood" t-shirt is appropro.
Wiggins with his best Elway impersonation to get a first down.
It’s the Jerome Wiggins show!
Who taught Eugene Wilson how to tackle? Oh, yeah, Ron Turner.
Bastard expatriate
Got a 500 bet on it. Trying to find the answer.
Steve Grogan is a bastard expatriate, too.
Refs bail out Mushin Muhammad on a fumble by blowing the whistle and calling it incomplete.
Looks like the second half is New England’s turn to have the crappy field position.
Refs blew a sure touchdown for the Patriots there.
Maybe the refs are neutral now.
I somehow get this feeling the last team to get the ball will be the winner.
Phil just did a bad job of explaining why both coaches are mad that the pass to Muhammad was ruled an incompletion.
Belichick obviously wanted the ball.
Fox wanted to review it because if it really was a fumble, it can’t be ruled that way because the whistle blew the play dead, but maybe the Panthers could get the yardage from the pass.
Phil was right that it’s unreviewable either way.
It’s so sad to see Siegfried without Roy.
OK, we’re back.
I had no idea that Timberlake guy was so popular?
and btw, anti-illiteracy is hard to spell.
GG and his toup have finally decided to ignore Phil Simms.
Fourth an inch from the 32, the Pats might as well go for it, instead of letting Walter shank another one.
OK, maybe not. Walter punts one 52 yards.
Ken Walter finally gets a good punt off… I guess 1 out of 5 isn’t bad.
JT gave us a look at Janet Jackson’s boob.
He could probably win a Democratic primary or two just on that act alone.
Why couldn’t Monster.com use the original Donna Summer version?
Why hasn’t someone invented a venting system to clear up smoke from Halftime shows?
If he’s a good fastball hitter, should I throw him my bad fastball?
If we throw rice at funerals, do Chinese people throw hot dogs?
What’s the deal with airline peanuts?
Phil? Phil who?
was it made of some new-age polymer?
That 15-yard line is a hard thing to jump over, der, Jake.
How many penalties have their been in this game? Seems like a ton.
Does Sauerbrum still rock the man-ring?
Am I the only one who watches "Heaven Can Wait" just for the Greg Gumbel scene?
I’m in the new movie "Hidalgo."
You’ll love the scene where I get shot in the arm in Venezuela and the one where I pop up with the bases loaded three times the same day the Cubs clinch the NL Central.
Was that a Gilette commercial, or an ad for PCP?
Has anyone every tripped over that bloody yellow line?
They’re fake, but they’re spectacular!
![]("http://www.insideedition.com/images/investigative_images/janet-jackson.jpg"/)
It’s warm in Houston? Who knew!?!?!?
Guys trip over the yellow line a lot. That’s why we run all of our plays in front of it.
Ask Bill Simmons, he won’t tell you it’s warm in Houston.
Hey Kelly, I too watched "Heaven Can Wait" this morning. I’m alwasy impressed that Warren Beatty can actually throw a football (sure he’s not throwing those bombs in the practice scene–but some of those you could tell he actually threw.) I always call Kyle Farnsworth, too because he likes to watch it and we chat about the movie on the phone.
Discuss: Julie Christie’s best movie, Dr. Zhivago or Heaven Can Wait?
Now, back to the Super Bowl.
Scorecheck?
NE ?
Car ?
JT 2nd base
And half made of metal.
Sweet.
#227 was a classic.
Anybody else think that unless the Panthers hold the Pats to a FG here, this one’s over?
Wait, I’ll call The Farns and ask him.
I now vote for Kelly Dwyer for MVP.
Man, Janet, that thing’s got to hurt.
The Patriots are now in field goal range (If they don’t get in the end zone from the 9). If Vinateri can finally make one, then Carolina could score a touchdown, tie it up, and we could go to overtime…
That thing is bolted on?
End of the 3rd quarter:
NE 14. CAR 10.
NE at the 9-yard line.
Let’s try for the unanimous vote:
http://animoller.funk.nu/video/janet-jackson-superbowl.avi
I didn’t watch the Halftime Show.
What the hell happened with Janet’s boob?
Need I say it?
Not enough hand lotion in the world.
The most hilarious thing nobody will ever see? The extended "hometown news-people promo" for WCIA here in Champaign. It was bad.
How did Christian Fauria not get his feet in on that would-be TD pass?
Defensive holding on Carolina anyway. And that’s a wuss call in my opinion.
That nipple doesn’t look healthy.
I think we’re getting our own version in our own respective hometowns, BC.
Atowainuchdown.
Ok, that was lame.
I think we can give the MVP trophy to Brady again. 21 to 10 Pats.
A-n-t-o-w-a-i-n Smith seals the deal with a two yard TD rush. NE 21, Carolina 10. 14:49 to go.
OK, Jake, let’s see what you got.
If anything.
There is no way in the world that not only do the Patriots have FOUR times the Super Bowl appearances that we have, but now they’ll have TWO times the wins.
Time to put some flaming dog poop on Mike McCaskey’s porch again.
Somebody get me the Edmondses on the phone!
Stat!
Whoops.
Well, you guys won’t be seeing it so it won’t be as good as seeing it (What the Hell did I just say?), but here is a description:
The main male news anchor sitting next to an old guy in an airplane simulator.
The main female news anchor on one of those circus carousel rides.
And this horrible song being sung by a woman who sounds sick and ninety years old in the background.
There was some other hilarity in there as well (The main sports anchor playing basketball on what looked like a racquetball court especially funny)…
Those 15 yard lines are a b*tch.
That WASN’T pass interference?
Steve Smith is taking over!
I loved him at Michigan State. What a scorer.
Ed Hochuli and the gang has some explaining to do after this one is over.
Touchdown Panthers… Go for two here…
That’s funny, Greg. I’m having a hard time remembering that feted Panthers-Eagles AFC title game.
DeShaun Foster with a great run.
No! Don’t go for two you ninny!
What, is Ty Willingham running the two point chart?
Oh, I hate agreeing with Simms.
I’m quitting CSI: Miami to pursue a movie career.
Phil, you moron!
If you get the 2, you make it a three-point game and you are definitely going to get it back at least once.
Carolina missed, but if you hold the Pats to a field goal, it’s still 8.
If you kicked the point and stop the Pats, then you have to score a TD. If you miss the 2 and stop the Pats, you have to score a TD.
The positives way out-weigh the negatives this late in the game for going for two.
21-16 Pats with 12:32 to play.
Man, those AOL High Speed Internet commercials are bad. The Paris Hilton video had better cinematography than that.
I only have one problem with the Paris video. My ass looks big in it.
I like the AOL commercials.
it?
or her?
I’m going to disagree with you here BC. Two point conversions with a real offense are a 40 percent proposition, with the Panthers’ O, it’s probably more like 1 in 5. The extra point is like 97 percent.
You still need another score to win anyway, don’t let them put it out of reach with a field goal.
Anybody else think there’s one easy way those girls could have gotten that convienience store guy to let them buy that Bud?
That sweatshirt the one tossed in the back would make a nice knee pad.
The Patriots moving it down the field again.
The over under’s 38? It’s about to be "over."
Phil says "If you want to call out the manhood of the other team, run the football."
Karry will show you his manhood without so much as the threat of a running game.
What was Brady doing on that throw?
The under folks may be saved yet here…
Great pick by Reggie Howard…the decision to run it out…not so great. However, the Panthers are still alive.
For those media wonks who want to make Tom Brady the next Joe Montana…Joe would never have done that.
The Pats are killing themselves with dumb mistakes.
Honest officer, she called out my manhood!
Jake just got away with an intentional grounding. He didn’t throw the ball across the line of scrimmage and he didn’t try to complete it to anyone. How is that not a penalty?
Anyway…
Is anyone else listening to the radio broadcast of this? Boomer Esiason is a trainwreck. He is to stupidity what R. Kelly is to "No Child Left Behind."
If the Panthers can’t get a first down, can the Patriots actually get some points next time?
Wow, how bad is your offense when the other team would rather make you convert second and ten instead of first and fifteen.
Jake Delhomme…unbelievable.
Eugene Wilson showing his non-tackling skills again…
Panthers now making me look like an idiot. Especially if they don’t get the two here.
Bomb to Mushin Muhammad! Over Eugene Wilson (surprise).
Now the vicious cycle of the failed two point conversion rears it’s ugly head again.
22-21 Carolina.
Mr. Dolan, you got a problem with the two point conversion?
The two pointer fails…again.
Still a one point lead.
I think Bill Simmons just had about eight simultaneous heart attacks.
B.C. <--- Idiot.
Make it 6.
They missed the 2-point conversion.
Well, if Tom Brady is the next Joe Montana he needs to have one of those comebacks here.
The Panthers have no offense and two drives of more than 90 yards. Wow.
I’m glad those two field goals aren’t going to matter.
Bill Belichick prowls the sideline with an apathy reminscent of the Great Mike Martz…
Now, if New England gets a touchdown do THEY go for two???
Maybe I’m NOT the best coach ever.
So it’s illegal for Dan Morgan to tackle Kevin Faulk without the football, but it’s legal for Faulk to pick Morgan on every other play?
Considering the fact you are behind, wouldn’t you hurry up if you are New England right now?
I would.
Ricky Manning played defense on that play like Danny Manning.
New England needs to score a touchdown here.
Vinateri isn’t much tonight, and I don’t think the Pats can stop the Panthers from a field goal try if it’s only 24-22.
A) Yes, NE should go for two, because there will only be one more possession in the game for CAR.
B) They don’t need to hurry up because it’s not in their best interest to leave much time on the clock.
You know Danny Manning’s middle name is Ricardo?
Fox with a questionable decision to not accept the illegal touching penalty. Let’s see how it works out.
Not good is how much it worked out.
I am often called for "illegal touching" in the lockeroom wrestling matches.
Well, now New England should use as much time as possible. The Panthers will not get a ton of time but they haven’t needed much so far on their long pass plays.
Here’s the thing about David Givens at Notre Dame. He was a stud, but always used improperly.
Davie played him at flanker and they ran little short passes to him and he used him at halfback. When they did use him at wide out he had Jarious Jackson and Matt LoVechhio throwing to him.
Not good.
Christian Fauria just caught a TD pass, but Greg’s toupee thought it was linebacker Mike Vrabel.
Oops.
Ricardo? Ba-ba-loo!
Touchdown Patriots. Mike Vrabel with the catch. Now possibly the most crucial play before the final drive in this game.
Here’s the thing about David Givens at Notre Dame. He was a stud, but always used improperly.
Davie played him at flanker and they ran little short passes to him and he used him at halfback. When they did use him at wide out he had Jarious Jackson and Matt LoVechhio throwing to him.
Not good.
Ummm… It WAS Mike Vrabel.
The direct snap!!! The Pats are 1 of 2 on trick plays tonight.
Can Delhomme do it?
I used to quick-snap J.D. Drew when he wasn’t ready, too.
Delhomme Delhomme He’s Our Man
If He Can’t Do It
No One Will
I predicted OT before the game. You should listen to me.
The whispers are growing louder…
overtime…
Overtime…
OVERTIME!!!
O-V-E-R-T-I-M-E!!!
I really liked the Jimi Hendrix Pepsi commercial.
Twas grand.
score?
Jesus, was this the same guy that went 1-for-8 in the first quarter?
Ricky Proehl. He’s caught a few big ones in his day.
This is getting interesting.
Daylight come or you got to Delhomme!
Enough Berman impersonations for me.
Don’t mind me. I’m drunk.
All Ricky Prohel does is catch big first downs.
Or something.
Or maybe I’ll just smoke around his kid. (Pat yourself on the back if you got that.)
NE 29, CAR 22. 1:30 left. Carolina driving. Ball at the 12.
Just like they drew it up. Rodney out, Ricky in.
Score? NE 29, Carolina 22.
Gumbel said Rodney Harrison would be back. Uh, Rodney the field is THIS way.
Touchdown, Ricky Proehl! The same guy Wanny cut WHILE he was the Bears’ leading receiver.
An extra point will tie it at 29.
I also predicted Ricky Proehl would catch a TD.
Touchdown Panthers!
And, after all that, I still look like an idiot. Because if they had kicked, they would be up and not be tied.
Too much time for Brady? There is 68 seconds left.
Cough! Hey, cough! That’s cough! Mean, cough!
Hey, kick the kickoff out of bounds!
New England has all three timeouts and plenty of time.
And Kasay kicks it out of bounds. What a terrible mistake.
One big play and we go to #4 reprising two years ago.
Thanks guys.
Sounds like a fine game, all of a sudden…
Where’s this NE D?
How hard is it to kick off in bounds? You’ve got 52 yards for the ball to land in.
The Pats need about 15 more yards to give Vinateri a chance.
If Terry Cousin turns around it’s a pick.
Instead it’s offensive pass interference.
Ouch, that hurts.
Wow…
Unbelievably bad break for the Patriots.
Terry Cousin on an island? Sounds like a great idea for a pilot.
Why is Adam Vinatieri playing catch on the sidelines? Must be a fake.
The Patriots need a first down, not only to give Vinateri a decent chance, but to get their team out there for the field goal.
The Patriot receivers are hot.
Carolina is going to feel so bad if this field goal is made.
Do we detect a theme on that drive?
They threw at whoever Cousin was covering on every play.
This is pressure…
Hah! Belichick’s a pussy! He should to for the TD!
Now that I’m a goat will Jim Edmonds call me?
And that’s a lock.
Vinateri does it from 41!
The only problem, 4 seconds left for the Panthers.
You know, if John Kasay doesn’t kick that kickoff out of bounds….oh, never mind.
Vinatieri makes a 41 yarder and they’re up 32-29, and CBS is itching to get to Survivor.
Anybody else notice how short the timeout was when Carolina tried to ice Adam?
Four seconds too many left on the clock.
Gumbel: "A sober Jake Delhomme"
Not for long.
He Hate Me gets tackled and it’s over.
Not bad. Too bad New England had to win, though.
No overtime again. Drats!
Well, the fact that Carolina didn’t kick those 2 PAT’s doesn’t end up hurting them in the end… It would have been one point instead of three.
Nice. Nice finish, nice game.
I caught ABC bagging it the other day whilst plugging their incessant golf coverage from somewhere not sandy. Sounded like they had it right for a while…
work guys.
I think the MVP has to go to Tom Brady, don’t you think?
Jim Nantz supporting Houston when they threw stuff on him just hours ago. Not that good.
Robert Kraft with the "team" speech. Yeesh.
The Patriots have 17 coaches? What the hell for?
Why is everybody yelling! It’s called a microphone. Yikes.
Hey, does anybody know if Survivor is on next?
They haven’t read that promo for like eight seconds now.
Once, just once, I would like someone for that thing to slip out of someone’s hand on live television.
Can’t they give the MVP to John Kasay?
Give them the finger! Everybody give them the finger!
Belichick’s going all in!
Incredible!
Wait, this post is like fifteen minutes too late.
Damn dial up connection.
Well, that was interesting.
Deion Sanders just blamed the loss on Kasay.
Sweet.
Why couldn’t this interview go like this.
Bonnie Bernstein: "Coach Fox, it must be tough to lose a game like this."
John Fox: "Bonnie, I don’t care about the game. I want to kiss you."
Roy Williams: "Screw that. I don’t give a s@#$ about Carolina, I want to kiss Bonnie, too!"
Was Marino crying at the end there. Man he must really LOVE Jim Nantz.
Well, that was fun. Now everybody come on over to our first ever Survivor ShowCast.
Bernstein:
"Coach, I know this was a tough loss for you. But I have to ask… Are you going to take the position in Carolina???"
John Fox:
"Um, I don’t give a s*** about Carolina!!! Oh, wait, I’m a coach in Carolina now?!?!?! I forgot after my brain cramp going for two…"
Against whom? by texas holdem