Leave it to our beloved country to take one of the best Super Bowl’s of all-time and reduce it to one thing. Janet Jackson’s right boob.
Hey, it’s a nice boob, don’t get me wrong. Even if that weird saddle spur metal “tassel” thing looked awfully uncomfortable, for a woman her age, not bad.
But lost in all of this was that she wasn’t even the nudest person at the halftime.
What about this guy? How come he doesn’t get any play? He bore it all (well, almost) and got tackled and beaten senseless by a bunch off duty Texas Rangers (not Kevin Mench and Mark Texeria) and he doesn’t even get on TV.
Oh, well, life’s not fair.
—
I’m sick of all of the talk that Tom Brady is the next Joe Montana. If anything, Tom is the next Bart Starr. Say what you want about Montana but he was a far better athlete than Brady. People think of Joe as a weenie armed guy who just hung in the pocket, but that wasn’t true. Joe could sling it. The West Coast offense took advantage of his uncanny accuracy, but if Joe had to go deep, he could do it. Plus, Joe’s signature drives were for touchdowns, “The Catch” to Dwight Clark, the game winner in the Super Bowl to John Taylor. Brady’s a very good player, but his drives ended up on the foot of Adam Vinatieri, not in the end zone. You can’t argue with the results, but just stop the Joe Montana stuff. It’s driving me nuts.
And really, this is in no way colored by my hatred for all things Michigan. Really.
—
Grant Hill has started gingerly working out with his Magic teammates. You know you’ve been injury prone when you show up for practice and everybody wonders, “Hey, who’s the new guy?” The ironic thing about Hill’s third comeback attempt is that the Magic didn’t want him to make it. They tried to get an injury exception for him which would have made him ineligible to play for them again. The Bulls got one for Jay Williams, and then bought out his contract so they can re-sign him at a lower price in the unlikely event he ever plays again. But the NBA wouldn’t give the Magic one for Hill, saying that his return was probable.
I said it before, and I’ll say it again, if you are about to offer a player $80 million and he shows up for the meeting with his foot in a cast…take the offer off the table.
—
Cubs good guy Eric Karros is close to signing a one-year deal with the Oakland A’s. He’ll have to fight for time against Scott Hatteberg and the alligator-armed Erubiel Durazo, but the AL seems like a good fit for Karros who could snag some DH at bats when he’s not playing first. Credit Jim Hendry for always finding a lefty partner to log the bulk of the playing time from Karros. He kills lefties still, but we didn’t want to see him over at first 100 times last year.
Check out this crap from some hack named Gene Guidi of the Detroit Free Press about how Ivan Rodriguez signed with the Tigers because they showed him respect. Apparently respect comes in $20s and $50s and fits in a briefcase.
But this is my favorite baseball article of the day. It comes from the usually coherent Ken Rosenthal of the slowly death spiral suffering Sporting News. Let’s hack away.
Manager Tony La Russa says Pujols possesses the hands and first-step quickness to become a Gold Glove-caliber first baseman.
If, by Gold Glove-caliber you mean a guy with a glove made of metal, then sure.
The Astros might try to give OF Jason Lane 350 to 400 at-bats, even though they do not plan to trade RF Richard Hidalgo. Lane can fill in at all three outfield spots and also at first base. He played center field at Class AAA in 2002 and is a better defender than Craig Biggio at that position.
This guy is a better defender in center field than Craig Biggio.
He certainly has better range.
Rosenthal quotes Indians’ GM Mark Shapiro as saying the potential Mets’ right field platoon of Karim Garcia and Scott Spencer is a good idea.
“I think it’s more than viable,” says Indians G.M. Mark Shapiro, who had both players. “It’s a potent platoon.”
So potent that Shapiro never used them as a platoon when they were both in Cleveland and dumped both players.
For all the talk of the Dodgers’ inactivity, one executive praises G.M. Dan Evans for adding IF Jose Hernandez, OF Bubba Trammell and OF/1B Jeremy Giambi as reserves. “They’ve upgraded considerably,” the executive says. “They had no threats off their bench last season; it was a (Class AAA) Las Vegas bench. I felt bad for (manager Jim) Tracy. He was pinch hitting guys who didn’t even belong.”
Let’s see, Jose leads the universe in strike outs per at bat, Giambi got busted for dope in the offseason and Trammell quit the Yankees last year. Yeah, that looks like a great bench! When you add Todd Hundley to the mix, “potent” seems like the perfect word!
The Giants, unable to add payroll, won’t sign free-agent RHP Ugueth Urbina in spring training if RHP Robb Nen proves incapable of recovering from three shoulder operations. Nen is guaranteed $9 million this season, and the Giants won’t get any relief on his salary because his contract is uninsured.
Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
—
The Drudge Report with their typically thoughtful look at the Janet Jackson boob fest. I mean, really, who would think that one of the Jacksons would embarrass themselves by doing something inappropriate at a Super Bowl?
Does anybody really believe that this wasn’t planned? Does Janet normally wear a metal areola guard when she performs?
Maybe she does? Michael used to wear catcher’s shin guards, and given what we know now about him, we know why his knees would need the protection.
—
Ed Sherman says everybody’s sorry about the halftime. I’m not.
Groucho says that Scott Skiles is wrong for the Bulls. Who’d be right? Moses (not Moses Malone–Moses) didn’t face more hopeless situations than this one.
Rosey’s mad about everything.
Sox fans feel sorry for Frank Thomas. Wow, they’re dumber than we feared.
Scottie’s ready to pack it in. Who knew? He’s played, what, four games?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to fantasize about the Super Bowl naked fat guy and Bill Belichick.
John Jackson claims he’s never sat through an entire Super Bowl pregame before. Yeah, John, you look like you’re normally too busy exercising.
Phew! I thought Lou Henson was going to try the NFL.
Sports Guy’s Super Bowl Blog is pretty good, but his poker challenge one is better.
Stewey doesn’t like Phil Simms.
Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback annoints Supey XXXVIII as the best ever.
Tough crowd in Punxatawney today. Ouch. After they got done booing Phil they started throwing stuff at Jim Nantz.
If you’re a prison guard in Australia, don’t eat the pudding.
Personally, I’m a “Babesagainstbush.com” kind of guy myself. They’re much hotter than the pro-Bushies.
America’s finest news source on Alicia Silverstone’s poorly conceived animal shelter.
Those fans throwing stuff at me…
WHAT A MOMENT!!! (Tear…)
Did anyone see my hard-hitting list at the top 5 Super Bowls in history? Pay no attention to my omission of Super Bowl XXIII, where possibly the gutsiest game-ending drive was engineered.
The boring Cowboys-Colts Super Bowl was better. Much better!
Hey everyone,
Don’t forget to pick up all your Patriots championship gear at your one stop shop for NFL merchandise:
MLB.com!
I live on the West Coast where you can pick up the HBO’s East Coast transmission of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" at 6:30pm. There is just no way that I am going to miss Larry David, who last night pried a Number 5 Wood out of the cold dead hand of a corpse in a coffin because he thought it was a waste to see that kind of a club buried for eternity. You want me to miss that in order to see Jake Delhomme throw 9 incomplete passes in a row?
How about a Kobe update, Andy…
Hurts his shoulder. Scratches his hand. Misses his court date.
It’s certainly playing havoc with the desipio Fantasy League…
btw – KD, your email address is all screwed up, mate.
Hi guys! Did I die and no one told me?
Or will I sign with someone in the next 48 hours?
I’m actually surprised that nobody is looking at the long-term ramifications of Janet poppin’ a nip on national TV.
Nobody cares about Britney & Madonna’s make-out session any more.
The bar has been raised.
The Grammy Awards are Sunday.
Stay tuned…
These MTV productions just keep trying to top one another. I’ve heard plans are being put together for this summer’s MTV Movie Awards. Rumor is that Kurt Loder will perform oral sex on an unsuspecting Nick Lachey. Stay tuned for any more shocking occurences.
Greg, you have until Friday to join us, otherwise, you’re against us, and we’ll make do with Juan Cruz (all this according to WSCR – Sloth)
Boobs! Bonus boobs! X-tra boobs! Surprise boobs! Unexpected boobs! Inappropriate boobs! We love boobs, almost as much as a big fat ass!
Sloth, you are always trying to inject content!!!!!
I just wanted all of you to know that I have six teams who are offering Greg 10 year contracts worth about 92 million dollars per year. So the Cubs are going to have to step it up.
In our efforts to keep up with the marketing in the other major sports, we’re adding boobs to this year’s Home Run Derby.
The Grammys are on Sunday? I didn’t know that, even though CBS promoted them almost as much as the Survivor episode.
We’re adding boobs to this year’s Home Run Derby.
What were we last year, then?
How can he call it a "wardrobe malfunction"?
What was it supposed to do when he pulled on it? Shoot off fireworks?
To Albert & Jim:
Dicks.
Bud can I pitch for the home run derby?
Wow Charlene….You all growns up. Looks like I’ll have to be taking this one down off the prison cell wall….
And put up the new one….
Hey, I just said on the Score that nobody was better than the
White Sox last year!
I’m gone!
Here is the Super Bowl ratings release from CBS:
http://www.tvbarn.com/ticker/archives/018665.html
this is me being talked about on slamonline.com’s /links page:
No philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad a message to the world as this good news of Atheism. by online poker
The stuff on this web site is really witty and cool wise