If you ever needed a tangible reason why 24 hour sports talk radio is a bad idea, the Score gave us example after example all weekend long. Despite the fact the Bulls and Blackhawks are playing, the Bears are scouting draft prospects in Indianapolis and any number of local college basketball teams are playing important games, and, of course, the Cubs and White Sox have started spring training, they had nothing to talk about.
They ended up wondering whose team the Cubs are. They worried themselves silly that Sammy Sosa will walk into the clubhouse tomorrow for the first day of workouts and yell, “Hello, America, buddy! I’m in the house!” and that nobody will come rushing to him. Apparently, then, Sammy will get mad and drown himself in a whirlpool, never to be heard from again.
Is it Kerry Wood’s team?
Is it Mark Prior’s team?
Is it Jose Macias’ team?
Oh, who cares?
It’s Dusty’s team and Sammy’s ego will be sufficiently stoked by the media sychophants who will follow him around like they always do.
Of course, this year they’ll all be checking out his physique to see if he’s lost any weight, which will be considered proof that he’s off the steroids, even though Carlos Zambrano lost 15 pounds and nobody’s accusing him of anything.
No matter. Sammy’s in Arizona and all is well with the Cubs.
For now, at least.
Two things over the weekend chapped my fanny, and I thought I’d point them out to you. Better get some balm, just in case.
It’s OK. I’ll wait.
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OK, on Saturday, creepy little George Ofman called in to do one of his many (too many) spring training updates with Rosenbloom and Baum, and he talked about the improvements the Cubs made in the offseason. Rosey contended that while the Cubs have better pitching, the Astros have proven playoff winners, while the Cubs don’t, and the Astros got a postseason God in Clemens while the Cubs got a postseason zero in Greg Maddux.
OK, it’s time to dispel the Greg Maddux playoff myth once and for all.
The Astros did get a very good postseason pitcher in the offseason, but it wasn’t Clemens. Andy Pettitte owns a career 14-9 record in 30 postseason starts with a 4.05 ERA.
Clemens is 8-6 in 26 postseason starts with a 3.47 ERA. That’s pretty good (though the 12 no decisions is troubling for a so-called “workhorse” like Clemens. But he was busy getting thrown out of a playoff game against the A’s in the 1990 ALCS and taking himself out of game six of the 1986 World Series.)
OK, so if Clemens is a good postseason pitcher, what is Maddux?
Consider that he’s 11-14 in the postseason in 29 starts with a 3.22 ERA. That’s about half of what you thought it was, wasn’t it? He also has two relief appearances and a save.
In his first two playoff stints (1989 with the Cubs and 1993 with the Braves) Greg was not good. He allowed 18 earned runs in 20 innings.
If you take those out and just calculate his last 28 games, Greg is 10-12 with a 2.56 ERA.
It’s not Bob Gibson, but it’s not Calvin Schiraldi, either.
Plus, the Cubs played in the playoffs last year, so pretty much everybody got experience, while the Astros haven’t been for two years.
Let’s check out the staffs and see who’s got more experience.
Astros
Roy Oswalt — never pitched in postseason
Roger Clemens — 8-6, 3.47, 26 starts
Andy Pettitte — 13-8, 4.05, 30 starts
Wade Miller — 0-0, 2.57, one start
Tim Redding — never pitched in postseason
Brad Lidge — never pitched in postseason
Rickey Stone — never pitched in postseason
Jeriome Robertson — never pitched in postseason
Octavio Dotel — 1-0, 6.75, four games
Cubs
Mark Prior — 2-1, 2.31, three starts
Kerry Wood — 2-2, 3.86, five starts
Matt Clement — 1-1, 5.11, two starts
Carlos Zambrano — 0-1, 5.40, three starts
Greg Maddux — 11-14, 3.22, one save, 29 starts
Mike Remlinger — 0-2, 4.03, one save, 26 games
LaTroy Hawkins — 1-0, 6.75, ten games
Kyle Farnsworth — 1-1, 6.75, eight games
Joe Borowski — 1-0, 1.17, one save, five games
If you’re scoring at home, that’s 61 postseason appearances for the Astros staff.
That’s 81 for the Cubs.
I’m not saying the Cubs staff is a postseason juggernaut, or that the addition of those two Yankees won’t help the Astros, I’m just saying don’t immediately think the Astros staff is full of postseason experience.
Then, yesterday, Julie Sweica was babbling her way through four hours of “I just read Sports Weekly and I know everything there is to know about baseball!” on the radio,…again.
My favorite part was when she read off the Phillies starting rotation and said, “Boy, Kevin Millwood, Eric Milton, Randy Wolf and Vicente Padilla…they’ve got a great staff. I suppose Brett Myers wonders, ‘Hey, what am I doing with all of these great pitchers!’ since he’s never done anything.”
Uh…Julie…go grab a candy bar…Myers was 14-9 last year, which was as many wins as Padilla and Millwood.
But you have to forgive her, she’s worried about Paul Konerko’s future.
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I don’t have the time right now to get into what a fiasco the Stu Scott anchored “Dream Job” show on ESPN was last night. That they found six people more annoying than Stu is in itself an accomplishment of epic proportions.
This deserves its own column.
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Oh, and by the way, we have added some nifty Desipio wallpaper for use on your computer. It’s sized to 1024 x 768 and features six of our favorite photos.
Amaze, or annoy your friends with it.
Phil Rogers loves the Cubs’ young pitchers almost as much as he loves the Colorado Rockies.
Groucho says the upcoming draft sucks…just like the Bulls.
The Steve Bartman will be destroyed shortly. Big whup.
Seabiscuit’s Jockey says Corey wants to hit third, which is a good idea. Hitting Derek Lee seventh is folly, however.
Shingo can’t understand Ozzie Guillen, either.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to get all optimistic about the Cubs. Oh, shut up, Jay.
Here’s some crap about whose team it is.
If the Mets do this, they’re nuts.
Drew Lawrence on Jarrett Payton and former Domer Courtney Watson at the NFL Scouting Combine.
Cue the Gay Romance Novelist. More on Pettitte and Clemens. This stuff just makes me shudder. Ick.
More unintelligible crap from Gammons.
Jeter no like A-Rod. This is going to be fun to watch.
America’s finest news source says they’ve found Osama…”in each of us.”
I really, really like the wallpaper.
Sigh….much obliged…thanks to these two doofuses, this stuff pretty much writes itself…
CHAPTER 12: Trouble in Paradise
"It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Andy knew the whole story about how Roger had introduced Greg Swindell to the pleasures of manlove on a recruiting visit that Greg made in 1983 to the U of T–hell, everyone who rooted for the Longhorns was familiar with the story. It was not unlike that warm evening in Anaheim when Roger threw Andy’s Bible out the window and “converted†Andy to a new religion during the ’99 season–Roger’s first in New York.
At first, Andy believed Roger when he assured Andy that he was the only one for him. Whenever they would cross paths with Swindell, however, Andy would always get overcome with jealousy. Roger would insist, however, that the thing between him and Greg was just a “college romanceâ€, even though Calvin Schiraldi would swear that the two were in item long after their U of T days.
Andy didn’t know what to believe. He went to his hotel room, knelt by the bedside, pulled out his Bible, and prayed to Jesus.
That night, Andy slept as well as he had in weeks. When he awoke, he was firmly at peace with his relationship with Roger, and that Roger’s whoring was in the past. Roger was, after, all, forty years old. Maturity would have to settle in at some point, Andy figured.
For the first time in months, Andy BELIEVED Roger.
Then, three days later, Andy received his U of T newsletter. He opened it, and when he saw this,
his heart sank. In case there was any doubt as to what Roger was up to, the fact that he and Greg were displaying “the fork,†a move that Roger had introduced to Andy and, no doubt, had also introduced to Greg 20 years earlier, convinced Andy that Roger would never be faithful.
He threw the newsletter aside and quietly wept. He was supposed to take the mound that night in a big game against Boston, but baseball was the last thing on his mind."
Rosenbloom has the look of a white-haired Johnathan Brandmeier, with the slicked-back hair and cocked grin that says, "Eff you. I’m right." His sorry stabs at concocting a ridiculing name for people in Chicago sports are painful and specious.
For Jauron, he had brainstormed "Death Spiral Dick." I understand what he’s getting at, but it just doesn’t work. Shoop was tagged "SpongeJohn SquarePants." What?
What is plenty aggravating is his continued use of these "funny" names. He trots them out, week after week, vainly hoping they catch on. I’m no Johnny Fair Skin, but this guy’s picture is also getting my fists balled each Sunday. He has a smarmy smile and his head is tilted in such a way that it looks like he is hiding the hideously scarred right side of his face. Maybe that is where he always gets punched.
Stinky Steve merely smirks from the column byline and forces "And another thing…" down our throats.
Hey Andy,
Serious question. For those of us that have only read your site since last year, can you give us some sort of idea of who in Chicago media and/or the national media you actually like? I’m with you on most of your choices, but I’m just trying to understand where you’re coming from.
BTW, Gay Romance Novelist, keep it up!
I believe Andy likes things written by (in no particular order): Karry Ling, BC and anything from Coco the gorilla’s yellow crayon period…
TW, you left out Andy’s favorite writer…Rick Morrissey, the guy the Tribune put on the front page when everyone else left. I’m surprised he didn’t link to Morrissey’s column today, a wretched effort about how Red Sox fans’ pain is worse than Cubs fans’ pain.
A disturbing trend is developing on The Score, but since 80% of the hosts and callers are White Sox fans, it was bound to happen. After years of bumbling moves by management and poor baseball on the field, the Cubs finally have a reason to be legitimately optimistic. Jim Hendry has made numerous wise moves to put this franchise into contention. As a result, Sox fans (and I’m sure Cardinal fans) have had to come up with something else to make fun of. Numerous calls were fielded from the South Side trailer parks over the weekend, most of them along the lines of "Uh, yeah, the Cubs are already planning their parade route" or "Uh, I guess they don’t even need to play the season". Even an employee of the Sox (someone involved in the reconstruction of The Cell) took a shot at them about Bartman and some other stuff today. Even the arrogant Dan Bernstein had to blow up the Dusty Baker reaction to media questioning about steroids. I find nothing wrong with the question or the response, but this is an ongoing criminal investigation and Dusty isn’t dumb enough to say what he’s senn or knows.
Rosenbloom is probably the best host on The Score. Sure, his act gets a little old and contrived, but he does a good job with callers and guest, without being condescending and threatening.
OK, who I DO like? Cripes.
This will be long (and somewhat interesting.)
I don’t think we’ve ever had a worse collection of columnists than we have right now in Chicago. It’s sad, really.
Mariotti is a blowhole, and why I read his crap every day is beyond me. At least I don’t have to pay for it.
Ron Rappaport’s not terrible, but his column is only interesting about a third of the time.
Carol Slezak is a train wreck…all the time.
Rick Telander is completely unreadable. All those one sentence paragraphs… However, he used to be good, and his infrequent Sports Illustrated stuff (unless it’s about his family) is still good. He’s a better feature writer than a columnist.
Mike Downey’s a disappointment because he so seldom says anything in his column. But to be fair, when he writes a good one (it does happen…occasionally) they’re really good.
Rick Morrissey’s not that bad.
I really like the Wizard of Roz. That doesn’t mean I’ll give him a free pass when he lets Scott Boras write half of his columns on Maddux, but Rozner’s good.
Mike Imrem is so bad I’m surprised the words stick to the newspaper.
Greg Couch is pretty good at the Sun-Times. I just wasn’t that interested in what was probably his best stuff, the Cubs ticket scam.
I do like Groucho (Sam Smith). I don’t have to agree with him, but he writes good stuff, and besides, you don’t want to agree with people on everything, anyway.
I used to love Steve Rosenbloom in the Sun Times, and I liked his stuff when they used to let him have the front page far left column when he came to the Trib. He’s in purgatory now, in the Red Streak, and he’s angrier than ever. But he’s still pretty funny.
Other guys I like:
KC Johnson (Trib — Bulls)
Seabiscuit’s Jockey (Paul Sullivan-Trib-Cubs)
Mike Kiley (Sun Times – Cubs)
Teddy Greenstein (Trib – Sox)
Bruce Miles (D. Herald – Cubs)
Mike Mulligan (Trib.)
Drew Lawrence (AP)
And I’m sure I’m leaving somebody out. Basically, Chicago has plenty of good sports writers, just not many good sports columnists.
I think Telander’s strength is the feature article, like he did for SI, and not an everyday running commentary, like his craptastic work in the Sun-Times.
On the other hand, maybe age has just caught up to him, in the form of "Bob Green"-itis, where he’s just resorted to mailing it in with sentimental hogwash; limp, brain-dead uninspired nonsense. Either that, or he mails it in by pushing either his children or nieces/nephews into the spotlight, giving their high school team undeserved recognition. This misuse of this forum is his most egregious sin–even worse than his Bob Greene pap–IMHO.
He’s no Verdi. Nor, sadly, is anybody else in this town, save for the once-in-a-blue-moon Downey article.
What!?!? I didn’t even garner a mention?!?!? Coco mad. Coco will tear your arms off and beat you with them..
Andy,
What about TV sports personalities/announcers?
i.e. Who would you like to see announce Cubs games?
I’ll speak for Andy on this one.
ABC…
Anybody But Chippy.
A taxidermed Chip would be way preferred, in fact.
I’m already cringing at hearing his voice in ’04.
With all the gay marriage talk going on, Andy, I’m surprised you haven’t resurrected that picture of Chip and Craig.
I hope Houston wins.
I really like those guys.
As far as who I’d like to have announce Cub games, I’d say Bob Uecker. He’s really cool.
but here you go anyway
It is my humble opinion that you have the faces backwards in the Chip-Craig picture. Gay marriage vows confuse me anyway. Does the person performing the wedding say "Do you take Craig to be your lawfully married wife?" And then "I now pronounce you husband and husband?" "Wife and wife?" "Man and man?"
I believe it’s "I know pronounce you pitcher and catcher….You may now play ball…"
Speaking of gay…
http://files.teh-intarweb.com/rainbow-1.wmv
I started to laugh uncontrolably at about 45 seconds.
Isn’t it technically the Tribune’s team?
Dusty is the only guy who can keep Sammy in check, so it has to be Dusty’s team.
By the way Andy, you need to check your e-mail.
Andy, I just re-sent through my e-mail a couple minutes ago. If you still don’t get it, tell me so I can send it through a different address. Thanks.
gay romance reader – it’s man and man.
So, let me get this straight…on this, the weekend that you’d *promised* to take me shopping and someplace swanky for lunch, you instead sat in front of that damn computer and monitored the radio for chatter about your beloved Miss Cubbies?
Andge…hun, we had an arrangement, and I’m starting to wonder about my role in all this. We need to talk, and soon.
Just be a good daddy and leave those five C’s under my pillow the way you promised, because I’m meeting Grant and Jeff on Halsted Street, and it’s my turn to buy.
Kisses anyway,
Timmy
P.S.: Ramon the hunky barback from the Manhole asked about you, and he had a twinkle in his eye as he said it. Looks like the computer and the radio aren’t the *only* things that have been occupying the bulk of your time, you naughty old thing…
;-)
Enough! Enough with the homophobia!
My time spent with Clark & Addison has made me into a more thoughtful Sloth, and if this gay-bashing does not cease, I will have to hit you with my purse, you knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing morans!
more drew lawrence links! more, i say! keep them coming!
/feeling like a proud papa…
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things: the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse. A war to protect other human beings against tyrannical injustice; a war to give victory to their own ideas of right and good, and which is their own war, carried on for an honest purpose by their own free choice – is often the means of their regeneration. by texas holdem