If you ever needed a tangible reason why 24 hour sports talk radio is a bad idea, the Score gave us example after example all weekend long. Despite the fact the Bulls and Blackhawks are playing, the Bears are scouting draft prospects in Indianapolis and any number of local college basketball teams are playing important games, and, of course, the Cubs and White Sox have started spring training, they had nothing to talk about.

They ended up wondering whose team the Cubs are. They worried themselves silly that Sammy Sosa will walk into the clubhouse tomorrow for the first day of workouts and yell, “Hello, America, buddy! I’m in the house!” and that nobody will come rushing to him. Apparently, then, Sammy will get mad and drown himself in a whirlpool, never to be heard from again.

Is it Kerry Wood’s team?
Is it Mark Prior’s team?
Is it Jose Macias’ team?

Oh, who cares?

It’s Dusty’s team and Sammy’s ego will be sufficiently stoked by the media sychophants who will follow him around like they always do.

Of course, this year they’ll all be checking out his physique to see if he’s lost any weight, which will be considered proof that he’s off the steroids, even though Carlos Zambrano lost 15 pounds and nobody’s accusing him of anything.

No matter. Sammy’s in Arizona and all is well with the Cubs.

For now, at least.

Two things over the weekend chapped my fanny, and I thought I’d point them out to you. Better get some balm, just in case.

It’s OK. I’ll wait.



OK, on Saturday, creepy little George Ofman called in to do one of his many (too many) spring training updates with Rosenbloom and Baum, and he talked about the improvements the Cubs made in the offseason. Rosey contended that while the Cubs have better pitching, the Astros have proven playoff winners, while the Cubs don’t, and the Astros got a postseason God in Clemens while the Cubs got a postseason zero in Greg Maddux.

OK, it’s time to dispel the Greg Maddux playoff myth once and for all.

The Astros did get a very good postseason pitcher in the offseason, but it wasn’t Clemens. Andy Pettitte owns a career 14-9 record in 30 postseason starts with a 4.05 ERA.

Clemens is 8-6 in 26 postseason starts with a 3.47 ERA. That’s pretty good (though the 12 no decisions is troubling for a so-called “workhorse” like Clemens. But he was busy getting thrown out of a playoff game against the A’s in the 1990 ALCS and taking himself out of game six of the 1986 World Series.)

OK, so if Clemens is a good postseason pitcher, what is Maddux?
Consider that he’s 11-14 in the postseason in 29 starts with a 3.22 ERA. That’s about half of what you thought it was, wasn’t it? He also has two relief appearances and a save.

In his first two playoff stints (1989 with the Cubs and 1993 with the Braves) Greg was not good. He allowed 18 earned runs in 20 innings.

If you take those out and just calculate his last 28 games, Greg is 10-12 with a 2.56 ERA.

It’s not Bob Gibson, but it’s not Calvin Schiraldi, either.

Plus, the Cubs played in the playoffs last year, so pretty much everybody got experience, while the Astros haven’t been for two years.

Let’s check out the staffs and see who’s got more experience.

Astros
Roy Oswalt — never pitched in postseason
Roger Clemens — 8-6, 3.47, 26 starts
Andy Pettitte — 13-8, 4.05, 30 starts
Wade Miller — 0-0, 2.57, one start
Tim Redding — never pitched in postseason
Brad Lidge — never pitched in postseason
Rickey Stone — never pitched in postseason
Jeriome Robertson — never pitched in postseason
Octavio Dotel — 1-0, 6.75, four games

Cubs
Mark Prior — 2-1, 2.31, three starts
Kerry Wood — 2-2, 3.86, five starts
Matt Clement — 1-1, 5.11, two starts
Carlos Zambrano — 0-1, 5.40, three starts
Greg Maddux — 11-14, 3.22, one save, 29 starts
Mike Remlinger — 0-2, 4.03, one save, 26 games
LaTroy Hawkins — 1-0, 6.75, ten games
Kyle Farnsworth — 1-1, 6.75, eight games
Joe Borowski — 1-0, 1.17, one save, five games

If you’re scoring at home, that’s 61 postseason appearances for the Astros staff.
That’s 81 for the Cubs.

I’m not saying the Cubs staff is a postseason juggernaut, or that the addition of those two Yankees won’t help the Astros, I’m just saying don’t immediately think the Astros staff is full of postseason experience.

Then, yesterday, Julie Sweica was babbling her way through four hours of “I just read Sports Weekly and I know everything there is to know about baseball!” on the radio,…again.

My favorite part was when she read off the Phillies starting rotation and said, “Boy, Kevin Millwood, Eric Milton, Randy Wolf and Vicente Padilla…they’ve got a great staff. I suppose Brett Myers wonders, ‘Hey, what am I doing with all of these great pitchers!’ since he’s never done anything.”

Uh…Julie…go grab a candy bar…Myers was 14-9 last year, which was as many wins as Padilla and Millwood.

But you have to forgive her, she’s worried about Paul Konerko’s future.

I don’t have the time right now to get into what a fiasco the Stu Scott anchored “Dream Job” show on ESPN was last night. That they found six people more annoying than Stu is in itself an accomplishment of epic proportions.

This deserves its own column.


Oh, and by the way, we have added some nifty Desipio wallpaper for use on your computer. It’s sized to 1024 x 768 and features six of our favorite photos.

Amaze, or annoy your friends with it.

Phil Rogers loves the Cubs’ young pitchers almost as much as he loves the Colorado Rockies.

Groucho says the upcoming draft sucks…just like the Bulls.

The Steve Bartman will be destroyed shortly. Big whup.

Seabiscuit’s Jockey says Corey wants to hit third, which is a good idea. Hitting Derek Lee seventh is folly, however.

Shingo can’t understand Ozzie Guillen, either.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to get all optimistic about the Cubs. Oh, shut up, Jay.

Here’s some crap about whose team it is.

If the Mets do this, they’re nuts.

Drew Lawrence on Jarrett Payton and former Domer Courtney Watson at the NFL Scouting Combine.

Cue the Gay Romance Novelist. More on Pettitte and Clemens. This stuff just makes me shudder. Ick.

More unintelligible crap from Gammons.

Jeter no like A-Rod. This is going to be fun to watch.

America’s finest news source says they’ve found Osama…”in each of us.”