Hello again, everybody, it’s your old friend Karry Ling with another award-winning edition of my news and notes. There’s no Dose today, as we finally finish up that ludicrous Baseball Preview, so you’re stuck with me.

Since all but one of you think I’m freakin’ hysterical, you’ll get over it.

First off, one of you, sometime this month will click on your mouse and be the 1,000,000th hit of the year already for Desipio.

I don’t have any official numbers, but after doing some research I think I have a pretty good idea of how many hits the site has had over it’s six…yes SIX years of existence.

2003 — to date, more than 870,000
2002 — something like 1.8 million
2001 — less than one million
2000 — However many times Kelly stopped by to visit.
1999 — 14

Oh, you get the idea.

What will the person who delivers the millionth hit win? I’d love to announce that the winner will received four tickets to Cubs opening day, dinner for four at Ron Santo’s Restaurant and a chance to spend the day with the entire Desipio writing staff!

But, none of that is true.

OK, I have some more business to attend to before I get to the good stuff in the column. Fer chrissakes, why didn’t Andy just write this himself?

Anyway…

The Desipio Baseball — NL Only League on Yahoo! is full and everybody who signed up has to have their draft list ordered the way they want it by noon on Saturday. That’s when we’ll tell Yahoo! the league is ready to draft.

The Desipio Baseball — AL Only League has been dissolved and replaced with a 20 team league that includes both the NL and the AL. First crack to sign up for that was given to the existing members of the AL Only League, and Jake, who didn’t get signed up for the NL one in time.

Here’s the info you need to sign up.

League name: Desipio Baseball — MLB
League number: 247551
The password is the same as it was for the other two leagues. If you need it, e-mail Andy at andy@desipio.com. Or, you could just be observant.

As of my writing, there are 16 spots left. That sounds like a lot, but the NL Only League had four guys in it at noon on Monday and was full by five.

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Anyway, Dennis Miller’s on vacation, so he can’t sue me for this.

Let’s have fun with Yahoo News photos!

“Sir, honestly, what good would smelling your finger really accomplish? Hey, it’s kind of minty!”

“Mohamed, which one are you going for, the Chris Isaak bouffant or the Steve Buchele curly mullet? Hello hair system, goodbye lonely Friday nights!”

Shemp has not aged as well as I thought he would.

“Smoke on the water! Fire in the sky! Everybody! Smoke…”

Wow, he’s the picture of health, ain’t he?

“Senator Kerry! What did you have stuck up your ass all day?”

“There he is! I told you he didn’t fall of the face of the earth! He’s right here. And he’s still wearing that stupid walkman! Hey buddy, you can come out now, they blew your ball up!”

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”

“Nah, that’s a playable lie. I’ll just shimmy up the side of that outhouse and see if I can’t whack it right out of the cactus.”

“Nice suit.”
“Nice tie.”

“No, really, I was on Sex and the City. I was the ugly one with the jacked up teeth.”

“May I give you my digits, baby?”

Until next time, America.