On Friday, the Fighting Illini take on the world-famous Murray State Racers in the NCAA Tournament’s first round. It’s not quite as highly anticipated as say…the Billy Packer-Joe Lunardi first round machup in the Desipio Assclown Tournament, but it’s big in these parts.

Illinois caught a break over the weekend when two of Murray State’s starters were arrested on drug charges.

And in their best Nebraska Cornhusker impersonation, Murray State athletic department officials suspended ONE of them.

Don’t you just love stern discipline? I know that I do. It’s inspiring, really.

Second leading scorer Kelvin Brown will miss the Illini game, not for his arrest on Saturday, but because he also had an outstanding warrant for a gas station drive off. Point guard Adam Chiles was not suspended, even though he was arrested for possession of marijuana and drug paraphenalia. Apparently, because he didn’t hide in a closet like Kelvin did, he gets to play.

Look, I know that if you suspended every college basketball who smoked weed you’d end up with the NCAAs being a two-on-two tourney, but still, this is pretty weak.

No wonder Murray’s not a real state.

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The Franchise threw off a mound yesterday and reported no pain the world’s most famous Achilles’ tendon. He’ll throw again tomorrow, and while his April 8 start against the Reds is in doubt, he will likely be on the hill, April 14 against the Cubs’ AAA affiliate in Pittsburgh, facing old buddy Randall Simon and Pirates. Are you in off the ledge yet? Good.

In today’s Tribune, Seabiscuit’s Jockey, Paul Sullivan runs through ten common reasons why the Cubs suck every year and proves that they don’t apply to the 2004 edition. It’s a nice effort, especially for a guy who needs a booster seat to reach his laptop in the press box, but he left out a few.

The Tribune doesn’t want the Cubs to win because they will lose their lovable losers tag and be just another baseball team.
This gem got thrown around by nitwits after the game six debacle and every time I hear it I’m tempted to use the head of the person who is espousing this crap as a stud finder. A good Cubs’ team sold 99 percent of the seats in Wrigley Field last year and with standing room figured in for this year it’ll be over 100 percent. Figure in increased TV and radio ratings (on Tribune owned stations no less) and I’d say the Tribune doesn’t mind the Cubs shedding the “woefully inept” label.

I have a friend who’s a Sox fan (really, I do) and he said the one good thing about the Sox always being in the shadow of the Cubs is that no matter how good they are, he can always get tickets to any game he wants to go to. Hey, it’s something.

Dusty’s a horrible big game manager
This one’s going to burn my ass all year. Mostly because it’s just not true. He’ll go to his grave being blamed for leaving The Franchise in too long in game six, but even if you believe that (and the fact that he had two healthy arms in the bullpen that night, and one of them was El Pulpo, needs to be remembered), how many other big games did the Cubs win last year? Most of them. Was Dusty up to the task in the five gamer against the Cardinals in August? How about the last home series with the Astros? Dusty’s teams win, and win a lot and they don’t do it in spite of him. You may not always agree with what he does (lord knows that I don’t), but the results got you a lot of October baseball last year and the promise of a lot more in years to come. The fact is that only one team in baseball was happy with their manager when the season ended last year. Only one team in baseball is ever happy with their manager when the season ends. This year, we just might be happy with Dusty.

They never put two winning seasons together
This may be the singular example of Cubbie ineptitude. It’s been more than 30 years since these jokers won at least 82 games in two straight seasons. It’s about to end in a big way in 2004, and for one reason. The Cubs followed up a successful season by actually trying to get better. The “old” Cubs would have never added guys like Derrek Lee, Greg Maddux, Todd Walker and LaTroy Hawkins to a winning team. They’d have deluded themselves into thinking that Dave Veres and Mark Guthrie would be healthy this year and that Randall Simon was the answer at first. They’d be sure that Mark Grudzielanek is going to hit .300 for eternity. The biggest example of this is Ed Lynch’s horrific offseason between 1998 and 1999 when he brought back all of the old bums who had played over their heads in the wild card run. Did we really need another go-round with Gary Gaetti, Mickey Morandini, Lance Johnson and Henry Rodriguez?

The Astros and Cardinals will catch them
Here’s the thing that I loved about last summer. The front offices in Houston and St. Louis knew the Cubs were coming. They sharted a little bit when Jim Hendry brought in Dusty and then it became a full-out pantload when they got a look at the young, balls-out, firethrowing Cubs young pitchers. But they calmed themselves at night with the mantra, “We’ve got one more year…we’ve got one more year…” Well, it turns out the Cubs had their own mantra and it was, “F@#$ it, we’re not waiting…F@#$ it, we’re not waiting…” The Cubs took the timetable and tossed it out of the side of the accelerating bandwagon. The pre-All Star break Cubs were a decent, but not much more, team. They had a sizable gap to fill to catch Houston and the Cardinals. But by August, the combination of new aquisitions and rapidly improving young guys like The Franchise and Carlos and Woody, the gap was gone. In September the toughest, most resilient team in the NL Central was wearing red, white and blue. In the offseason, despite the Astros’ pickup of Clettitte, the Cubs continued to pull away. They go into 2004 as the team to beat, on paper, in the field, and anywhere else where you choose to compare them. It’s the truth, and you might as well start believing it.

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Breathe normally, Cubs fans, The Franchise is happily throwing in the desert, getting ready to run roughshod over the Senior Circuit, again.

Interim commissioner of baseball for life, Alan H. Bud Selig wants to put an end to steroids in baseball. What, he just noticed?

Doesn’t this sound like something the Cubs used to get fired up about? A career minor leaguer is tearing up spring training for the Sox and they’re giddy. Ross Gload is no Alan Zinter, though.

Rosey’s angry.

Phil Rogers, blah, blah, blah, Sox overhyped prospect du jour, blah, blah, blah.

Scott Gregor says the Sox might trade for Jarrod Washburn (not bad) or Aaron Sele (huh? Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!).

Buster Olney talks to a veteran player (smells like Curt Schilling) candidly about steroids.

Ric Bucher and his missing K talk about the punk move Allen Iverson pulled.

Tom Verducci on the Eric Chavez signing, and he compares D. Lee to Geoff Jenkins and Trot Nixon. Only he leaves out some important stuff in Lee’s defense. This will be his first season playing home games in a non-extreme pitcher’s park, Jenkins is good but always hurt and Nixon plays in a great offensive ballpark and is a Jesus freak.

A 33-year old cat? Is that really necessary?

A Raptors’ cheerleader got the boot for some nude photos. The link is part of this story, so click on it at your own risk.

I guess this is why they call it “Queens”, huh?

Looks like Bubba might have saved Osama back in ’98.

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