I’m sure that if you were a Nevada or Manhattan fan that yesterday’s NCAA Tournament games were exciting, but for the rest of us, it was like a day long dose of Tylenol PM. Even the close games were hard to watch. SIU and Alabama in a turnover fest…DePaul and Dayton in a game nobody wanted to win… I’m not complaining, because even a boring day of NCAA Tournament games is better than most days.
It’s just that you figure that all hell will break loose today. Right?
If you new favorite player isn’t Nevada’s Kirk Snyder–you’ve got problems. How many guys still shoot the one-handed floater? And how many black guys are named Kirk?
Here’s a question that Florida’s alums are asking themselves today. If you gave Manhattan coach Bobby Gonzalez Florida’s team and gave Billy Donovan Manhattan’s, who wins that matchup yesterday? Unless Billy’s drinking Manhattan’s instead of coaching them, I think Gonzalez wins every day. This is why hairdos like Donovan get fired after 20 win seasons. If you can bring in enough talent you can make the tournament most ever year, but unless you can coach, you’re an early out. I think the grace period from their Final Four run four years ago has expired.
As for my bold prediction that Arizona would beat Duke in the second round? It wasn’t because I liked Arizona, rather it was because I clicked on the wrong name. I thought I had Illinois beating Duke in round three, when I looked back to see I’d actually had them beating Arizona. The key here is that, like always, I’m a dope.
Gerry McNamara made like Bill Bradley and Austin Carr and put up 43 points yesterday? Who was guarding him for BYU the fat kid?
BYU had a 6’9, 280 pound forward named Jake Shoff. He was number five, you remember him, the fat guy with the headband who looked like Sandy Lyle form “Along Came Polly.” This guy was hilarious. You don’t see a lot of fat guys in college basketball. They’re a dying breed. Literally.
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Joe left me a message in one of the other discussion threads the other day asking me how I like MVP Baseball 2004, and you know what, I’ll tell you.
I cashed in one of my very thoughtful Christmas Best Buy cards and picked up the 2004 version of the EA Sports baseball game for my PS2.
Last year’s game was good, but flawed. They took the old Triple Play Baseball and s@#$canned it for good reason and started over. The biggest advancement was in pitching. You use a meter like in the old Tiger Woods golf (before it ripped off Golden Tee this year) and similar to the one you use in Madden and NCAA Football to kick. So you have total control over your pitches, and if you’re a little tardy, you’ll accidentally leave a fat one over the heart of the plate. I did that the other night in San Diego and Phil Nevin went happy go jacky on me to win the game. Bastard.
Anyway, that’s back for 2004, and they improved just about every other area of the game. The parks are incredible to look at, the animations are smooth. You’ll see some amazing stuff. Your infielders will dive for balls and throw off of their knees to try and nail the runner, your third baseman will barehand bunts and throw if you time it just right. Outfielders will shy away from the wall and brace themselves for impact if you get too close too fast. It’s pretty slick stuff.
There are some weird things, though, too. Barry Bonds isn’t in the game because he wouldn’t give the MLBPA permission to use his name for anything this year. So there’s a generic San Franciscan left fielder who if you change his name and number…is Barry! Michael Jordan did that to EA one year, too. The scabs from the 1994-95 strike aren’t in the game, so you have to in and create guys like Damian Miller, Matt Herges and Kevin Millar.
There are some bugs. If you play at Fenway and a ball rolls into that “triangle” in right center, the fielders will run into the wall and not pick the ball up. You can run all day then, if you want to. There is a rumor that there’s a lefty homer bug, and that lefthanded hitters have a tougher time hitting homers. Somebody should tell that to Corey Patterson who parked two out onto Sheffield the other night. By the way, in the game, like in real life, the Cubs starting staff is obscene and E-ramis is a stud. Moises still mashes lefties, but he needs a platoon partner (just like in real life!) And it’s too bad you can’t pinch hit pitchers because Mark Prior has some serious power at the plate.
3d0 went belly up and so there is no more High Heat Baseball, which makes MVP the early frontrunner, especially since they have an actual Minor League license and you get to play with prospects at AA and AAA, too. The teams are real and so are the uniforms, but the minor league parks aren’t authentic. If you play as the Iowa Cubs, there’s no sign that Rod Beck ever lived in an RV in the parking lot and there’s no corn beyond the outfield wall. Sorry.
The game is fun, the dynasty mode is deep and you can bean Jim Edmonds in the head with the ball whenever you want. What more could you ask for?
Now, if they’d just get Albert Pujols off of the cover of the damn game box…
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Just how many freakin’ Dieners are there?
Rosey needs to just once write an actual comprehendable column.
Illinois fears the Racers.
Mike Downey sucks. This column is just so bad. What is the point? And NO, Mike, DePaul won’t be playing in the regional at Rosemont next year because you can’t play an NCAA Tournament game in your home building. Jeesh.
Rick Morrissey says James Augustine is tough, for among other reasons, because his cousin plays in the NFL. Huh?
Dusty says everybody’s favored to win the Central!
Go away, Scottie.
Ed Sherman says there are no stars in the NCAA Tournament. Oh, shaddup, Ed. Have you never heard of Jack Ingram? Jeesh.
The Illini are looking forward to the Murray State press. Wow, you can hear Nick Smith weezing already.
The only reason I like Phil Martelli is because he rightly called Billy Packer a jackass.
Lacy J. wonders who “won” the Raptors-Bulls trade. Yeah…nobody. It hurt both teams.
Sammy’s throwing a party on Sunday night. Let’s crash it!
Major League Baseball called Curt Schilling “ignorant.” That’s just the start of it for this mouthy nitwit.
Nomar’s Achilles is aching, too.
The Mouth that Bored is apparently off to Dallas, finally. Maybe.
They’re going to blow up Veterans’ Stadium on Sunday. Any chance we can get Mike Schmidt to be in it when it happens?
Pie-faced Scott Miller says Greggie is pretty low-key. Gee, ya think?
Courtney Love’s guitarist says “it’s a witch hunt.” Well, when they found Courtney, they found one.
Oh, no! Is Calvin Schiraldi dead?
Hey guys! Jennifer Garner’s on the market again. Line up!
But, Mandy Moore is all mine. Back off.
America’s finest news source on a new public disinterest group.
Thanks for the comments on MVP, Andy.
I’ve probably played about 20 games as the Cubs (and simmed 15 or so). None of my lefties have any homers yet in an actual played game, (not that there is a plethora of left handed power bats on the Cubs), and I have only seen the CPU hit one left handed homer (which came when I mistakenly threw a changeup right down the middle with no speed on it whatsoever to Brian Giles). I have given up plenty of right handed homers.
As far as other bugs go, stolen bases by the computer seem to be as rare as a Paul Bako home run. Even adjusting the CPU Steal Rate to the maximum results in no difference.
I like the pitching but think it needs to be a little more like High Heat in the "randomness" of pitching. You shouldn’t be able to hit the spot everytime based upon where you press a button. If you have any video game dexterity at all, you won’t walk anyone in the early innings of a game. When your pitcher get tired that’s a different story, but Kerry Wood has one walk in 36 innings for me. High Heat was better in this regard because of the random nature of its pitching interface. You wouldn’t always throw it exactly where you wanted. The problem with High Heat on the consoles were its horrible graphics, but it had a really active online community with many different mods for the PC version. Microsoft bought the High Heat franchise, so we can only hope that next year they put out a good game. It’s Microsoft and it’s a sports game so I wouldn’t bet the farm on it.
Some interesting notes about my season so far through about 35 games: Every one of my starters has an ERA below 3.50. The bullpen (outside of Remlinger) has been horrible. Borowski (0-4) and Hawkins (0-5) are gas cans. Hawkins has given up something like 25 hits in 12 innings with an ERA over 10, and has already "complained about his performance and wants the manager to do something about it". What should I do? Shoot him?
We still have ESPN Baseball to look forward to, I guess. That wasn’t a bad game last year, but I doubt it will have the little graphical touches that MVP does.
Also just once I’d like to see a baseball game with crowds that didn’t look like they were imported from a baseball game on the Sega Genesis.
Baseball is the worst selling genre of sports games, so I suppose we should feel lucky there are any at all.
If anyone out there wants to play a really good text based game with a very active online community, try Out of the Park Baseball. It is truly a great game and really lets you be the GM. The features for version 6 look amazing.
Hey, Zambrano can mash also. Just hit three bombs with him against the Braves.
I’ve really struggled with Hawkins as well. Borowski has been phenomenal, but he is complaining about his playing time despite being the closer.
I have Diamond Mind Baseball, and think it is a great game. Strategy, not video dexterity, is the name of this tune.
Yes, Diamond Mind Baseball. Another thumbs up on that so far as realistic sims go. I’ve been running a keeper league for 6 years now, and the game is WAY accurate. You in a league, p.d.?
No, but willing to join. Just got DM about a month ago.
okay then. you can check out my league site here and drop me a line if you’re interested. got a bit of a waiting list right now, but i can move you up towards the top.
http://www25.brinkster.com/fpbl/
still working on some things to tidy up the site – you’ll note the lead story is about a month old. but i’m working on it – it’s very close to being ready. i’ll stop apologizing now…
Thanks, Chris. email sent.
What the fuck is going on here?
Somebody make fun of Jim Edmonds molesting a dog and post a photo of a hot chick with a big boobs.
Stat!
I have RBI and RBI 3.
I like Jim Lindeman.
I did not have sexual relations with that puppy.
Miss Lewinsky.
Better?
Here you go, KD.
So much for the Murray St. Racers… as you said Andy, Murray isn’t even a state…
We’ve got the Edmonds/puppies reference, now just need a good picture to finish…
No Pic from me. Having trouble posting pics lately, and now I’m gunshy.
I-L-L….
Wasn’t Adam Chiles (3-12 FG) the guy "in possession" the other night? Thanks, Adam, you feyucking burnout.
I-N-I, baby!!!
I attended the U of I from 1989-1993. Once the Kendall Gill and nick Anderson left, those were some slim pickin’s… anyone remember the ‘Young Guns’? I think that was the 1990-1991 marketing theme. They were not good.
Class of 1986. Had to wake up Anthony Welch once in what was the Green Street Wendy’s, as he laid in a pool of his own drool in a booth. He wuz crunk.
Almost got run over by Bruce Douglas and Efrem Winters, and sat in a class once with Ken "Snake" Norman as his term paper was slid under the door by what was surely just his typist.
I-N-I
I did graduate in 1993… guess I wasn’t clear on that. Have you been to the C-U area lately Sloth? Looks a bit different now – can’t even imagine Green Street without the Wendy’s and the Deluxe next door (best fried fish in town, and everyone knew you’d been there because of the smell). And, no more O’Malley’s, the armpit of Champaign… of course that never stopped me from going there.
I was at U of I from 1993-1998 (yeah, 5 years) as the Lou Henson era was coming (mercifully) to an end. Other Kiwanne Garris, nobody of note was on the team (unless you have fond memories of Richard Keane), in fact when I first got there, we actually had a good football team. And if not for Lou Tepper’s short sighted recruiting, we could have been a powerhouse. Seem’s that both Donavan McNabb and Mike Alstott’s first choice was Illinois, but they wanted McNabb to play DB and had no interest in Alstott whatsoever. Those two might have looked pretty good, especially with the Simeon Rice/Hardy/Holocek/Howard defense. Well, I’ll always have my memories of playing flag football against Brian Johnson. What a dick.
It looks like Cincinnati is going to hold off East Tennessee State and as a guy who remembers the U of I – Tennessee Chattanooga loss all too well, I’m glad.
Does Johnny Taylor still play for the Moccasins?
Haven’t been there in three years. Am going down there in May, for, of all things, State Math Team. Seems my 240 lb son is also quite the math geek.
Illini Bounces from the dance? To this day, I can’t even mouth the words A-U-S-T-I-N P-E-A-Y.
I-L-L..
Think of your poor reader who transferred down to C-U in Fall of 1990 and had to watch hoops squads that featured us two idjuts during his two years down there….
… I-N-I!!!
Does that mean there is a junior Sloth? Are you teaching him the proper amount of uncouthness?
Yeah, the Lous really f$%@’ed up Illini sports. We’re only now really getting rid of that legacy for good.
I feel for the ‘poor reader’ having shared those glorious years of Illini basketball. I had season tickets for 1990-91, quite possibly my worst ticket purchase EVER except maybe for the time I paid for a ticket to see the movie "Other People’s Money." Right up there with "Gigli" in terms of quality, but without the ensemble cast.
Johnny Taylor, now THAT was a first-round pick!
Mandy’s free, Jennifer’s free. I think Katie Holmes is getting tired of me sleeping on her couch.
The punishments for being innocent after the Bruce Pearl tapings probably was the reason Lou Henson’s early 1990’s teams stunk.
However, the football program still hasn’t recovered from the Tupper disaster as football coach. I still can’t figure out how I became an Illini fan watching all those early-1990’s teams…
Then again, I became a Cubs fan and they sucked through most of the early 1990’s too.
…I L L! The Illini hammer the Huggy Bears! I expect that all those tournament "experts" who claimed that Illinois was too soft to play with the Bearcats (they’ll flat out punch you in the face, you know) to begin talking about how the Illini don’t belong on the same court as Duke.
The Vet is gone. Goodbye and good riddance.
Mathematics has the completely false reputation of yielding infallible conclusions. Its infallibility is nothing but identity. Two times two is not four, but it is just two times two, and that is what we call four for short. But four is nothing new at all. And thus it goes on and on in its conclusions, except that in the higher formulas the identity fades out of sight by texas holdem