Pitching Matchup
Colorado: Shawn Estes, 4-1, 5.60 ERA
Cubs: The Lawnmower, 2-1, 2.78 ERA
The lineups are in:
Colorado
Aaron “Don’t call me Bruce” Miles, 2b
Royce Clayton, ss
Todd Helton, 1b
Charles Johnson, c
Jeromy Burnitz, cf
Matt Holliday, lf (who?)
Brad Hawpe, rf (what?)
Luis Gonzalez, 3b
Shawn Estes, p
Cubs
Todd Walker, 2b
Corey Patterson, cf
Sammy Sosa, rf
Moises Alou, lf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Derrrrrek Lee, 1b
Michael Barrett, c
Ramon Martinez, ss
Carlos Zambrano, p
Question answered.
Other than Helton, that Rockies lineup makes me laugh.
I thought we just saw Luis.
Any truth to the rumor that the Cubs homestand against the Cardinals later this month will have promotional tie-ins with a new Jenna Jameson film?
Don’t worry Brian,
I’ll be sure to point that out in Gonzalez’ first at-bat.
We’ll all get in today! You folks on Waveland better wear a helmet! Oh, and some kevlar.
Bringout the street crews to repave me.
The Franchise returns to the roster on this date. The Astros might want to stretch their lead out before then, because the Cubs put the hammer down from then on. By the way, the teams the Cubs play right after that are:
Their AAA affiliate in Pittsburgh, then the Cardinals, Angels, Astros, A’s, Cadinals, White Sox and Astros. Sounds like the big boy will be back just in time.
Hey, can’t the Cubs just call me up?
I’m excited to see the pitching match ups with the A’s. Could be classic games.
My sympathy to the family of the young hood who got gunned down outside of Wrigley. I got gunned down outside of the old Stadium, but I lived.
Pansy.
Just our luck, here are the matchups for the Cubs and A’s.
June 18 – Rich Bordi v. Storm Davis
June 19 – Lance Dickson v. Todd Van Poppel
June 20 – Mike Harkey v. Steve McCatty
Oh, well.
I was the franchise once.
I just said, "his name is spelled Hawpe and it’s pronounced hop, like ‘funny hop.’" But we all know it’s more like "bad hop."
I’m a big fan of Pat Hughes’ new e-mail address in #14.
I’m surprised Jake Taylor, Willie Mays Hayes, and Roger Dorn are not in the Rockie starting line up.
Who are these guys?
If you have MLB.com audio, you can hear Eddie, Alex, Michael and I firing up the crowd with our 1984 hit, "Jump." One of the cheesier, and yet solid, traditions in Cubs’ recent history.
I’m back down in the Mexican League. I’ll be rooming with Elmer Desens later this week.
This guy is dead.
"Cross him off the list."
"Hey Borowski, what are you doing back here in Chicago?"
"I couldn’t hack it in the Mexican League."
I must KILL ROCKIES!!
You can e-mail Chip during the game here: http://www.fsnchicago.com/askbaseball04.php?who=chip
Not that he’ll answer it.
I made it early guys
We have no windows in the booth because sometimes my turds scream for help and it sets Ron’s hairpiece on fire.
Score me runs, eh buddee?
I’ll consider this game a failure if Estes isn’t knocked out by the 4th inning.
Why am I wasting away here in Colorado Springs? I say f*&% you, Jobu!
Maybe Hollandsworth should have played today again instead of Alou?
It’s 86 and sunny down here in southern IL.
If the Cubs had any patience, it looks like they’d have 3 or 4 walks against Testes already.
Look for the game to be done by me.
If we had patience we wouldn’t have crap.
Hey Eeyore, if my aunt had a set of balls, she’d be my uncle.
this piss is starting to freeze on my hands. maybe that’s why i choked on getting in that run.
it’s Lee time. let’s see if i can bithslap this one.
I’m a happy man.![]("http://images.sportsline.com/images/baseball/mlb/players/60x80/7805.jpg"/)
If it was anyone other than Estes pitching, I’d be stunned!
let’s see if i can either strikeout or hit into a double play or maybe a triple play to get out of the inning
Imagine the fun you guys would have if I was the Rockies catcher.
now here comes the double play. i definitely won’t sac fly.
I’ll take care of the DP,buddee
I should be hitting eighth. I have much more power than Ramon.
alex, you watching? it’s called taking pitches.
If I were you guys, I’d just not swing and let me walk everybody around.
i can’t believe it, i stole a base.
i may be the next vince colemon.
I stole second?
I stole second?
Let me guess. I run "particularly well for a catcher"?
You’re welcome.
E2. 1-0 Cubs.
MLB is to Shawn Estes and AAA is to Andy Pratt.
I’m going haywire!
According to CBS, I’ve thrown 6 balls to Ramon Martinez.
Ball, Strike looking, Ball, Ball, Ball, Strike looking, Ball, Ball.
i better give them an out and make carlos bunt. estes has just thrown way too many balls. i feel for him since i managed him last year.
I know Estes can’t throw a strike, but I’m going to have Zambrano bunt and give him an out. I’m a genius.
Jinx. Buy me a coke.
It’s nice to see the real Mr. Testes show up. I miss all of the walks he gave up as a Cub. No, not really.
I walked on 8 pitches.
patterson, that’s how you bunt you dumbass.
I’ve got wheels, too. Is there anything I can’t do?
That’s 4 more than DArrin Jackson and Mike Lowell combined….
Wow, he runs surprisingly well for a catcher.
Pitch one: Almost hits him.
Pitch two: Does hit him.
If he broke his arm, I’m going to kill myself.
I’m going to swing at anything! I haven’t paid attention that he can’t throw a strike.
Look guys,
Just because Estes has walked 3 and hit another doesn’t mean I’ll take a pitch.
If you don’t like my insightful commentary on Baseball Tonight, I’m taking my ball and going home.
burnitz- i felt like i’d have a suicide attempt today. that felt really bad. it hurts and i am crying for my mother right now.
Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I think I’ll give Corey a double. Jeromy fought the wall and the wall won.
who cares about burnitz. did you give my a double and 3 RBIs
Was it over his head or did he just botch it?
re: Walker’s HBP
Don’t worry, Testes’ fastball couldn’t break a pane of glass.
I’m pitching like it’s 2003!
Reporter: "How do you feel?
Jeromy: "Like I just tapped a SUV with a mini bat."
Who cares about any of my other stats…I’ve got 5 wins, chump.
i’m one former Cub you guys love right now. i’m glad i could be of service, we’re not going to the playoffs
Corey lined one to the wall in left, Burnitz made like a crazy man and caught it for about a half step before he hit the door in the outfield wall and killed himself. The ball rolled away, Corey got a double and three runs scored. 4-0 Cubs.
Four Cubs walked this inning. WTF?
See I told you!
the piss is melting off my hands. that little dinker felt good.
The only possible answer to your question is the name Shawn Estes.
I’ve still got a few hits in my bladder!
5-0 Cubs.
This one’s over.
I like this kind of party!
6-0 Cubs.
Anybody want to see it? Hmm?
Hey buddee, I have one only dis year. Screw you, eh.
take me out now and i’ll pitch tomorrow. i think i should get 2 wins in a row because of that performance in st. louis last weekend.
Hey Moises, "that little dinker felt good" is MY line!
yeah.
Now the only suspense is will I end up with a perfect game or a no-hitter?
I’ll let you guys vote.
Sorry ‘Los,
Rules say you have to pitch 5 to get the win….
How could NBC cancel the show Ed? They only have four good shows and they cancel one? I hate them! I’m going to kill Jeff Zucker! Now give me the ball and I will hurl it in anger towards home plate again!
i’ll go in since i’ve been sitting hear sweating my ass off. this cool weather is making my sweatbeads freeze up. if we could just blow everybody out until oct. i might be able to heal up the arm and throw 90 again.
The Rockies have a guy named Kit Pellow. Let’s just say I’d like to do a little pellow biting.
Snap.
I’m up, everybody back up! I’m going yard!
Zambrano used to be a thrower, now he’s…uh…um….he’s a….uh…definitely…a pitcher.
Should it be that hard to say that sentence?
Wow…
I think that’s seven groundballs. I’m pretty good.
I think NBC is going to start a new show and call it Chicago Cubs’ Friends. It will have Pissboy,Joebo,Bako,Macias, Farns,and some skanks Farns picked up at the bar. Special guest today-Shawn Estes.
Man, if I have to shill for Santo again I’m jumping out the window. Oh for an errant foul ball…..
is the strawman on here today? this is the kind of day you play bako,macias,goodwin,and that jackson that was called up. baker will be too busy sucking on his toothpick to realize that though.
No, even with a 10 run lead, I’ll still let Carlos go 7 or 8. Just like Game 2 of the NLCS.
You guys don’t know what you’re talking about!
It’s a damn conspiracy!
Walker, 2b
Barrett, c
Sosa, rf
Alou, lf
Ramirez, 3b
Patterson, cf
Lee, 1b
Martinez, ss
Ever?
and if this bloodbath continues…they just might……
I get another shot at bunting, babee.
Hey, Andy, I see Moises missed his hands and hit your column. Are you ever funny? Ever?
"Friends" is funnier than you are. Hell, even Joey.
coach i actually wanted to hit. we’re 6 up and i’m pitching you dumbass. my bunting lessons are done.
Sad thing this year is the Meat Tray is pulling his best Estes performance as of late
I have learned that there were actually 1,000 people shot and killed last night in front of the Cubby Bear.
The Chicago PD are LYING! LYING!
Damnit, my pants are on fire again. I didn’t say anything back about the fire department, right?
Why would Lee be batting 7th?
Thunderstorm warning.
Lee and Barrett and then you’ve got something.
I’m 105!
my vote is on borowski being the 5th starter. he could make it at least 3 innings, unlike the Meat Tray.
All I have to do is walk everybody until Zambrano hits, then Dusty will have him bunt and give me an out. Then I can just walk them again until he’s up again.
Wow, I’m a genius!
Mike Murphy visited Desipio to suggest Barrett batting #2 again – very nice…
i thought i better do something today. i heard rumors about me seating and hollandsworth playing.
bat borowski today. There’s no way Joe would pee on his hands
I’m warming up! What’s the biggest number they’ve got for that scoreboard? Somebody get some paint!
I’m up in the pen!
Who brought the licorice?
i’m going deep——–throat on alou. i need some of his piss.
This fag acts like he has a wife and a girlfriend. News Flash ass hole, your dogs don’t count.
Honesty compels me to say that despite all the shit Corey’s taken on this board, his walk total is up compared to previous seasons.
Nice seeing you. Buh-bye…
thanks alou. that piss really kept my hands dry when i hit the ball.
Close the book on me 2 2/3 innings 9ER 7 hits and 5 walks. It’s like last year when I helped the Cubs in one big game.
70 pitches in 2 2/3!!!
7 hits, 5 walks.
Ladies (I don’t think there are any here) and gentlemen, I give you…Shawn Estes!
(mutters) Stupid stolen Enron laptop!
Let’s try this again.
Don’t close the book on you yet, Shawn. You’ve got Sammy on first. How about 10 earned?
That’s a weather map!
next guest on Chicago Cubs’ Friends Episode 1- Turk Wendell. Turk gets with one of Farns’ Skanks and then gets knocked out of the game.
Thanks Dad.
straw, where are you? you think baker will manage this like he is 9 runs up? or will he be a jackass like always?
I like to pee on my hands, too! So does Vlad Guerrero.
http://www.nypost.com/sports/yankees/16839.htm
What’s the point?
I don’t see anything that’s leading to a rain out… Is somebody panicking? Is this my grandpa posting?
I already told you fools!
Zambrano will throw 120 pitches and will go at least 7.
Why do I have to keep repeating myself?
It’s like a witchhunt around here!
let baker alone
i might as well throw a no-hitter if they leave me in. baker, next time i’m up, no bunting.
tough break with estes being on the team
straw, will borowski get the call today? he can’t be sweating in this cold weather. or can he?
Somebody said there was a thunderstorm warning. I was trying to soothe your fears.
By the way, do I have any idea how obviously gay I am? Why just the other day, Dean Richards and I were taking a bath and…
screw you guys, it’s hot in this bullpen, that whiskey is giving me hot flashes.
I can’t believe Hughes just said "four perfect innings for Zambrano".
You bastard…
screw fantasy baseball. cornlicker is starting to go downhill.
is z going to throw a no-hitter or what?
Nobody hits today! You go tell your friends! Nobody hits today!
Christ, basher, the guy’s thrown 45 pitches through 4 without giving up a baserunner and all you’re concerned with is when are they going to get him out?
Turk will not be avaiable tommorrow.
The announcers can talk about the no-hitter all they want, it’s the guys in the dugout that can’t mention it.
You’d be a pretty bad announcer if you avoided the fact that a guy was hurling a no hitter.
Chip however, should be thrown from the press box onto the field if he mentions it. Just because.
I’ll be available!
I just checked into this website and I’m laughing my ass off. This is freaking hilarious. i got this site from a couple die hard Cub fans. Those guys were right, there are some die hards out there.
What’s up
you think i’ll be bunting this inning. i’d like to bitchslap baker for that.
I think the broadcasting rule is you can’t say "no-hitter" but you can say hitless, hasn’t allowed a hit and the like.
Here are some of the jokes I sent Barry Rozner that he DIDN’T use.
– Barry Bonds hit a homer into McCovey Cove the other day. I didn’t know steroids were water proof!
– Pete Rose looks like he lost a bet with his barber!
– Moises Alou urinates on his hands to make them tougher. Just think how tough the inside of his penis is!
– The Bears are so dumb that they are…really dumb. Ha ha!
– Derrek Lee has two ‘r’s in his first name, the second r is for run production!
– If Felix Jose married Junior Felix he’d be Felix Felix!
I’ve got a million of them!
All bad.
Did someone say cornhole licker? Oh, corn licker…My bad…
I should have bunted, buddee.
Straw is that you? I’m sitting at work and this site kills me. The Cubs are kicking that Rocky Ass.
See what happens when I hit?
Click the Google banner. Call it Desipio initiation.
I’m at work too, I think Schmidty is on too
Told you so.
Hey Wellemeyer! How you feeling today? Good? (Throws him his keys.) Good, go get my car washed. And make sure they get the whitewalls!
Thanks.
pies, it’s schmidtty. straw is that really him?
what do you think about this blowout? pretty good website, hey.
Go Cubbies
Am I really talking about my leg stump socket?
Straw and Schmidtty, this is cool that we’re on this at the same time. I couldn’t believe it was you guys. Hey I gotta go, but we’ll have to do this again. GO CUBS & F— Rockies.
Pies, Straw and Schmidty, I’m sure everybody’s glad you’re here. How about you don’t use this place as a messenger program though. It’s not that entertaining for the rest of us.
If you’ll excuse me I have to think of some Pat Hughes poop jokes.
Click me on your way out…
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Phooey
Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I guess you know who I am know, Andy!
pies, that’s cool that you’re on. straw can you believe pies? that’s pretty cool.
that sucks that no-hitter is gone. i need to head to the big easy here soon.
I gave up a hit to Carlyle Holiday? No shit? Now I must kill him!
Wellemeyer! (Todd runs back up the tunnel from the clubhouse). Big Z just gave up a hit. I don’t need you to wash my car. (Throws him another set of keys) But the wife’s car could use a wash. It’s a ragtop, have them give that an extra scrub.
You know, urine gets bugs off a windshield pretty well. I’ll come with you Welly.
62 through 5?
I’m going the whole nine buddy!
Are singing in the seventh, Pat better shit in the sixth.
Did someone say urine bomb?
sounds like we have a foulup in desipio etiquette. my bad aggitated old,hardened, Desipio reader. my regards please.
Anyone mention me today?
Turk is due up!!!!!!!!!
If I married Turk, I’d be Wendell Wendell.
And he’d be my bitch.
Oh, yes, sir.
I’m back…
time to take this one to waveland.
By Waveland I meant centerfield.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned all my good zingers, like putting LAKE on the back of my Santo jersey, or thinking that the last guys to have 5 hits in a game were Jeff Blauser and Sandy Martinez!!! Oh, I kill me.
I just said I was so upset after the first two games of the D’backs series that I almost jumped out of the booth.
Can I jump? Is that physically possible? Wouldn’t it be more of a "stump hop?"
The only way it is happening today is if Chip jacks his 3 millimeter bump twice with in two at-bats.
Just dropped in to say good morning, good afternoon, and good night to Shawn Testes.
You really do suck, my man.
OH yeah!
Jeebus, guys, save some of that shit for me. I promise I won’t fart on you no more.
Aaron Miles is actually going to the Olympics, to play for the Greek team.
Oh, I see THAT woke Jim Edmonds up.
Has a Cubs pitcher ever pitched this efficiently in the last 12 years (i.e. since Maddux left)?
I’m just watching my favorite porn….
It’s Macias time!
A HIT!!!!!!!!
That was the year’s best post
2-18!
Empty the damn bench!
Just wondering, do we ever want to let someone pitch 100 pitches without bitching about the manager?
and you’ve got guys in the pen you never use…(Wellemeyer)
and you’ve got a guy that was exhausted at the end of last year…
Why?
Ok fools!
I put in the scrubs!
But I’m saving Bako for the 15th inning.
We’re on the field:
Holly in left, Goodwin in right, Macias at third, Jackson at second.
Happy now?
Estes through two plus: 70
Zambrano through six: 79
Hee hee.
Yes.
It makes absolutely no sense to let Z keep pitching in this game. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Macias pitch the 9th.
You sallypants pitch counters can just wring your hands all day. I’m getting the CG Shutout, and sending a message to the league that I am EL HOMBRE. Throwing a humdred pitches is nothing for me (and nothing to worry about in any event). Back off and let me kick some Rockie butt…I can’t have those trash-tallin’ Wood and Clement think they’re better than me.
Sorry I could find the park today. Ecch!!
I’m with Carlos. I don’t know that there’s that much difference in long or short term effect on throwing 80 or 100 pitches (and neither do you).
Did Pat step out of the booth with his pants around his ankles, sing, and then go back to the head to finish making his stinky?
Talk about a good GF/FB ratio: Z has allowed only a single fly out all day! This is a remarkable performance as he’s been outstanding as well as efficient. AN almost unheard of combo for Cubs pitchers.
I can’t see how the Rockies managed just one hit with Javi Lopez and Luis Gonzales.
chirp***chirp***chirp
How about I just throw a 7-pitch inning and make this pitch-count discussion moot?
91 pitches? I’m just getting warmed up. I can start tomorrow!
"I got an e-mail from some people who have a number 10 in their freezer. Why would they have a number 10 in their freezer?"
Is it Dave Kingman?
2 for 2 huh?
I smell another plug coming up. That’ll be two today. Yikes.
Alright, I want you, Macias, up in the tower.
ME JOHN! BIG TREE!!!!
How is Jose Macias 2 for 2 and I don’t have a hit today?
Macias, listen, and you listen close: playing third is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop throwing curveballs.
See guys, I told you there was a second base out here!
I’m good.
And Carlos has his one hitter! Uh…two hitter!
Cubs win.
97 pitches. See that Kerry? Eat my dust. Zamboni’s better than Wood. Gimme $12 million per!
How many more seats can they sell next year to lock me an Zambrano up to round out this staff.
We can trade Beltran and Guzman somewhere else for a SS.