We only get the biggest stars for our Six Question Interview series1 and today we get the biggest sports agent there is.

No, not Dicky Fox.

Scott Boras.

Your reputation is that you only represent the very best.  If that’s true, why don’t you represent me?

I don’t represent people who do whatever it is that you do.  But if I did, I’m sure I could get you 1,000x whatever you get paid to do this now.

I get paid nothing.

OK, I could get you 10,000x that.

Your job is to get your clients the most amount of money possible.  So you will say and do whatever it takes to get your clients big offers.  Even if it means making ridiculous statements, inventing “mystery teams” that you claim are offering your clients huge contracts and taking your clients to free agency almost every time, where they have maximum leverage.  Is that an accurate assessment of what you do?

The biggest misconception about what I do, or any decent agent does, is that I drive my clients to new teams every time.  What I do, is I present their options.  I work for them, they don’t work for me.

But you’re a pretty smart guy, and most athletes are dumber than a fence post.  If you don’t “sell” them on one option or another, how would they ever understand and decide?

I think you overestimate how intelligent fence posts are.  What I would say, is that in my decades of experience doing this, is that most of the time, the player is going to want the most money they can get.  Even the best players have careers that last 12 to 14 years or so.  The first seven of those they are limited in what they can earn.  If you’re 30 years old and someone offers you a six or seven year contract, that’s probably going to be the last one you ever get.  You’re trying to make sure you get enough money in that contract to last you the rest of your life.  Most fans can’t conceive that there’s really a difference between getting paid $180 million and $200 million dollars.  It’s funny money, it’s absurd.  But the average fan doesn’t pay income tax in 15 different states each year, and has an agent to pay, and a business manager, and child support, and insurance on three houses that they don’t need, and a boat that they will probably use three times.  There’s a reason athletes end up going broke.  They do stupid shit.  Look how much money Jose Canseco made in his career, and he’s got nothing.  He’s selling his fingers on eBay.  Players look at guys like him and say, “That’s not going to happen to me.”  And they they take the extra money to make extra sure that doesn’t happen to them.

If you owned a team, wouldn’t you send Kris Bryant to the minors not only for the 13 days that would ensure a seventh season before free agency, but the 60 days that would eliminate a year of arbitration for him?

If I were an owner, I’d do whatever I had to do to put the best 25 guys on my roster at all times.  Sending Kris Bryant to the minors when he’s clearly ready to help the big league club is an insult to the game, an insult to his teammates and a good way to extend your World Record of championshipless seasons to 108.

That smells like agent-talk bullshit to me.  If you owned a team, I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to guarantee another full season of Bryant in his prime, while sacrificing only two weeks of his rookie season.

I’d want him on the field as soon as possible.  The future is promised to no one.  What if he gets hit by a bus three years from now, or what if in the offseason sometime he rides in a car with any member of the St. Louis Cardinals?

You have a shitload of money, why don’t you own a team?

Basically, I own 30 of them.


Just between you and me, is Bryant really ready to play big league third base right now?


As long as nobody hits the ball to him.

Here are those annoying footnotes.

  1. It really helps that these are fake so the interview subjects can’t say no.