When E-ramis Ramirez launched a Shawn Chacon meatball onto Waveland to tie up Sunday’s game it just proved for the 1,000th time that finding a good third baseman isn’t rocket science. You just find one on a team who can’t afford him and you hold them up at gunpoint. Come on, how tough is that?

OK, in reality, it probably really is tough. In his twenty months on the job as Cubs general manager, Jim Hendry has made 15 trades involving at least one major leaguer. Some have been good, some have been bad and some just make you scratch your head and say, “Why bother?”

Since the Tribune didn’t really do it today, we do it for you. Here’s a look at each of the Hendry Era trades. There are not as many big ones as you’d think.

2002
November 13 — Cubs trade minor league pitcher David Noyce and minor league outfielder Gary Johnson to Arizona for catcher Damian Miller

Miller was decent, though not much more in his one season with the Cubs. He got a reputation as a fine defensive catcher and a guy who calls a good game, but the fact that Cubs pitchers had the same ERA with other catchers last year proved that to be a crock of bull. Miller didn’t cost the Cubs anything of note, and he wasn’t completely terrible. So that’s something.

November 26 — Cubs trade minor league third base flop Ryan Gripp to Milwaukee for catcher Paul Bako

This has to be a humiliating trade for Ryan Gripp. Not only did he get traded for the worst player in Major League Baseball, but the Cubs still got the better end of the deal. Why Bako’s still around is a mystery, though.

December 5 — Cubs trade catcher Todd Hundley to Los Angeles for first baseman Eric Karros and second baseman Mark Grudzielanek

The Jim Hendry Era was a success just on this trade alone. He gave up Hundley, a clubhouse cancer/prolific sweater/rumored alcoholic/shirt unbuttoner and got two useful veterans. Grudzielanek had a great year at second and Karros saved the Cubs’ hiney in between the Hee Seop Choi concussion and the arrival of Randall Simon. Hundley played a handful of games for the Dodgers and is still being paid by them, but he’s hurt…again.

2003
May 9 — Cubs trade Alan Benes to Texas for a player to be named later

Unless the player to be named later is Hank Blalock, I don’t think we’ll ever think about this trade again.

June 19 — Cubs trade third baseman Mark Bellhorn and minor league pitcher Travis Anderson to Colorado for shorstop Jose Jerkoff…er, Hernandez

At the time of the trade, saberweenies were aghast that Dusty Baker and Jim Hendry didn’t see the hidden value in Mark Bellhorn. That hidden value was pretty well hidden. While he did walk occasionally, he was leading the team in errors, striking out at a horrific pace and generally stinking the place up. It’s a testament to how poorly he was playing that the Cubs had to add another player to the deal to get Jose Hernandez. Think about that. Woof.

Hernandez played little and poorly for the Cubs, but as you’ll see his pickup was a key one.

July 22 — Cubs trade shortstop Jose Jerkoff, minor league pitcher Matt Bruback and second baseman Bobby Hill to Pittsburgh for outfielder Kenny Lofton and third baseman E-ramis Ramirez

Just over a month later, Jose was packing his bags again. The Pirates asked for Matt Bruback but then released him and then had a list of players to choose from that included Francis Beltran and instead chose Bobby Hill. Bobby’s eying a return to AAA sometime next week. The Cubs, however, got a player who would have been the NLCS MVP (Lofton) had the Cubs gotten five more outs and E-ramis Ramirez who is better at the plate and in the field than he was advertised to be. Let’s just say this trade will be prominently displayed on Hendry’s resume for decades to come.

July 30 — Cubs trade minor league outfielder Jason Fransz to Texas for outfielder Doug Glanville

How bad was the Cubs’ bench that trading for Glanville was supposed to improve it? However, if those same five outs are gotten, Glanville dies a Cubs’ legend for his game winning triple in game three of the NLCS.

The real motivation for this trade was an effort by Hendry to get the Cubs more mentions in Jayson Stark columns.

August 16 — Cubs trade minor league outfielder Ray Sadler to Pittsburgh for first baseman Randall Simon

The purge of Pittsburgh continued as Simon, a noted free-swinger, at the time best known for assaulting a between innings racing sausage promotion in Milwaukee, was picked up for a song. Simon was also a playoff hero. He’s now back in Pittsburgh waiting for the Cubs to pick him back up this August.

August 19 — Cubs trade minor league pitcher Enmanuel Ramirez to Colorado for infielder Tony Womack

Womack was surprisingly useful until he was injured in a home plate collision in Arizona in September, when Wendell Kim sent him home even though he was out by 45 feet. Womack had to have Tommy John surgery and missed the playoffs. He’s presently watching his batting average take the plunge back towards .210 in St. Louis.

November 25 — Cubs trade first baseman Hee Seop Choi and minor league pitcher Michael Nannini to Florida for first baseman Derrek Lee

In a trade of much note and discussion the Cubs traded their first baseman of the future to the Marlins for the first baseman of the present. Lee has been unbelievably good defensively, and streaky (as advertised) at the plate, but Choi has cast some doubt on this trade and is on pace to hit 47 homers this year in Florida. Nannini was not a throw-in, as the minor league pitcher had an impressive strikeout total last year. Maybe Hendry should stop answering the phone when the Marlins call?

December 16 — Cubs trade player to be named later to Oakland for catcher Michael Barrett

A series of trades brought Barrett to Chicago through Oakland and sent Damian Miller to Oakland. We’ll just talk about Barrett here. When healthy (and not force fed the third base position) Barrett had hit in the Majors. Cubs bench coach Dick Pole lobbied hard for the Cubs to trade for him, and though early, the trade looks like a steal. Barrett is adequate behind the plate and much more than that at it. Kerry Wood was asked if Barrett is “too nice” and he said that he thought that until the opener in Cincinnati. Kerry was struggling a little and Barrett paid him a visit on the mound. Kerry joked that Mike’s not as nice as he thought.

December 19 — Cubs trade minor league pitcher Wilton Chavez to Montreal for utlity man Jose Macias

The Cubs were thin at useless utility man, and picked up Macias who is fitting it to a tee.

December 21 — Cubs trade catcher Damian Miller to Oakland for player to be named later
Miller was finally sent to Oakland to clear a spot for Barrett. He’s hitting well in Oakland, but it should only take American League teams about two more weeks to start getting him out…all the time.

2004
March 25 — Cubs trade pitcher Juan Cruz to Atlanta for pitcher Andy Pratt and minor league infielder Richard Lewis

The Cubs panicked in their search for a lefty reliever and dealt the shaky, but useful Cruz to Atlanta for the next Rick Ankiel. If Pratt ever returns to the big leagues it’ll be a minor miracle, as his control has actually gotten worse at AAA. Lewis has so far saved the deal. After impressing the Cubs in the Arizona Fall League (where he hit .404) Lewis is tearing up AA and should see a promotion to AAA before midseason. He is above average defensively, and should be a Major League regular at some point. Just how good a regular is up for debate. Cruz is still talented and still incredibly dumb. If Leo Mazzone can’t fix him, nobody can.

April 29 — Cubs trade pitcher Felix Sanchez to Detroit for minor league pitcher Jon Connolly

Had Sanchez pitched better this spring, he’d be on the roster right now. Instead, he struggled and the Cubs needed to clear a spot on the 40 man roster for Glendon Rusch (ouch), so Sanchez was sent to Detroit for Connolly, the Midwest League pitcher of the year in 2003. Connolly is a solid prospect, with the added advantage of not being on the big league roster.

HONORABLE MENTION
April 2002 — Cubs trade pitcher Julian Tavarez, minor league pitcher Dontrelle Willis, minor league pitcher Jose Cueto and minor league pitcher Ryan Jorgensen to Florida for pitcher Matt Clement and pitcher Antonio Alfonseca

Andy MacPhail actually made the trade, but at the time credited Jim Hendry with doing all of the leg work. The addition of Willis to the deal has clouded this trade, but the fact remains that Clement has been a find for the Cubs. Dontrelle is flashier, and a far better hitter, and lefthanded, but the Cubs didn’t get as screwed in this deal as people think. Especially now that El Pulpo is finally gone.

In summation, Hendry’s made several shrewd moves, and so far no disastrous ones. That’s not something Ed Lynch could ever say. However, since becoming GM, Hendry has not improved the Cubs pitching staff (starting rotation or bullpen) through a trade so far. A better bullpen in 2003 would have meant the pennant. And that’s kind of important.