The night started with the sports world’s two most famous urinators arguing on the field, and it ended with the only one of them never to be charged with a urine related crime homering into the left field family section for a 4-3 extra inning Cubs win.
Such are the things that happen to these Cubs, who are right in the middle of a season that sounds like some hack novelist is making it up as it goes along.
ESPN moved the start time of last night’s game from 7:05 p.m. to 6:05 p.m. and sent their Wednesday night crew to cover it. That meant a Gary Miller – Moises Alou reunion. Gary’s journalism career is best known for three things.
1. He replaced Roy Firestone on Sportsfire and it tanked.
2. He got arrested during the 1997 AL playoffs for peeing on some off duty cops off of a bar rooftop in Cleveland.
3. He wrote that Moises Alou pees on his hands (Moises’ not Gary’s–we suppose) to keep them tough.
Now, that’s a resume to be proud of.
Miller interviewed Moises before the game and Moises let him have it. Not in an R. Kelly kind of way, but you know what I mean. Three and a half hours later, Moises got the last laugh when he took Jim Brower deep to win the game.
The game itself was a beauty. Dusty Baker reached into his mad scientist bag and pulled out another terrible lineup. This one had Damian Jackson, Jose Macias AND Ramon Martinez in it. That’s like playing six on nine.
The Lawnmower, Carlos Zambrano, was on the mound and wasn’t his usual dominating self. The Giants didn’t consistently hit the ball hard, but they hit it enough to scratch a couple of runs across.
Then, the unthinkable happened. The guy who never gives up a home run gave up a fourth inning, center field blast to…Michael Tucker?
Carlos was so mad it looked for a moment like he was going to reach down, dig up the rubber off the mound and try and impale Tucker on it as he rounded third. Carlos was mad enough that he gave up a homer to an anemic hitter like Tucker, but Tucker acted like Barry Bonds when he hit it, and flipped his bat in the air.
Carlos would exact his revenge a couple innings later.
He struck out Tucker and went into his Zorro routine. He made the big Z in the air with his fist, then pounded on his chest and danced around on the mound. It’s the kind of thing that you hate to see any player do, unless he’s a guy you like and then you love it. We loved it. Tucker stopped walking back to the dugout and glared at The Lawnmower, who didn’t even care enough to look back at him.
Corey Patterson, the most maligned baseball player in Chicago right now, (Jose Valentin has 10 errors in 22 games, and Corey’s the guy taking all the heat?) homered to make it a 3-2 game, and then he followed up that homer with a walk in his next at bat. I nearly passed out. His OPS since being moved to the seventh spot is .943 and his on base average is .364. It’s not exactly Hall of Fame stuff, but it’s a hell of a lot better than it was when he was hitting second (.724 and .313 if you’re checking).
In the seventh inning, we got our first look at Jason Dubois. Wearing the familiar number four of Cubs greats in the past like Jeff Blauser and Don Zimmer (oh, I just gave myself a headache), Dubois was called upon by Dusty Baker for one reason.
Dusty wanted Felipe Alou to take out the lefty starter, Kirk Rueter, and bring in a righthanded reliever so he could use Todd Hollandsworth. Alou said, “Screw that,” and brought in a reliever, but a lefthanded one, Sox reject Scott Eyre.
Dusty stuck with Dubois who was batting with runners at first and third. The enormous Dubois (who needs a bigger number, you can’t be that big have one little digit on your back, it’s just not done..unless you’re Harmon Killebrew and then it’s OK) hit a flyball to right field that Michael Tucker was camped under. All of us who remember Tucker’s days with the Cubs began to rejoice and make merry because he couldn’t have gunned down Patterson at the plate with a rocket launcher. Corey scored to tie the game, and Tucker’s throw was so hellacious that Ramon tagged at first and made it to second.
Jason Dubois received a hearty welcome from the fans and he was carried off the field by his teammates who then sent him to the clubhouse and made him change into a size 18 cocktail dress.
Or something.
The Farns pitched the eighth without incident and the Cubs had things set up to take the lead in the bottom of the inning when the first two men walked off of Felix Rodriguez. That put runners at first and second with nobody out and E-ramis, Derrrrek and Corey coming to the plate.
There’s been a strong sentiment in print and on the radio after this game that E-ramis should have been asked to bunt the runners into scoring position. Just thinking about that manuever causes my right eye to twitch.
Who are you people? Illegitmate spawn of Don Baylor? Are you all daft? First off, there ought to be a rule that you don’t bunt with no outs when a pitcher has walked the first two guys. Why give him an out when he can’t get one on his own? Secondly, you’ve already got the potential winning run in scoring position, there’s no reason to move him into scoring positon, he’s already there! Plus, you’ve got a batter who you want up at the plate to drive in the run.
You only get 27 outs in a baseball game (well, the Cubs got 30 last night, but stick with me here) why give some up? You already gave the Giants at least 12 freebies by starting Macias, Jackson, Ramon and the pitcher, just stop it! (OK, sure, Ramon got a hit and Carlos is our secret weapon, switch-hitting pitcher guy, but you know what I mean.)
If E-ramis doesn’t miss the completely grooved fastball that Rodriguez threw him 2-0 nobody has this discussion. But he missed it. Then he swung at two bad pitches and struck out. Then, Derrek Lee came up and does what he always does, he topped one at the shortstop. Then, Barrett lined to second.
So it was not the Cubs’ finest hour. But that doesn’t mean that bunting was ever a good idea.
In the ninth, LaTroy Hawkins got himself into trouble and the Giants had first and third with one out. Jeffrey Hammonds hit a smash at E-ramis, that Ramirez backhanded and then made a tough throw to Michael Barrett at home. The reason the throw was so tough to make was that Pedro Feliz was running from third to home via the pitcher’s mound. He had both feet in the infield grass and made a nice banana route from third to home. Barrett caught the throw and tagged Feliz out in plenty of time to save the run. Home plate umpire Tony Randazzo should have called Feliz out regardless, but since the out was made, we’ll never know.
Regular Joe walked the highwire in the tenth, but got out of a two on, one out situation that ended when E-ramis fielded a grounder and took the force at third.
That set up Alou’s heroics.
A few other things about the game.
– Did you notice Barrett give the “come on we need this” fist pump to the Farns in the eighth after he called for a fastball? Barrett also gunned down two guys trying to steal last night. There’s just nothing to not like about this guy. When Jim Hendry made the decision to dump Damian Miller and get Barrett he could not have been more right. I feel very strongly about the fact that I have no doubts Mike Barrett can be the catcher on a pennant winner. I didn’t feel that way six weeks ago. But then, I’m a dope.
– The Chip Watch has been absent for a while because I haven’t had the energy to write down all of the dumb things Chip says during the broadcast. With the Cardinals back in town this weekend, I’ll get my pencil ready. In fact, I’d better go to the store and stock up.
– I’m a little tired of people comparing Corey Patterson to Shawon Dunston as if it’s a bad thing. You know that Shawon is my favorite Cubs player of all time. I have no problem expressing my manly love for the shortstop with the superfluous ‘o’ in his name and the rocket right arm.
Shawon was an All-Star twice, hit a homer in game six of the World Series in 2002 that should have won it for the Giants and never once played a game where he didn’t play as hard as he could. He was never a star, but we haven’t had a better shortstop since. Not for one day.
My favorite Shawon Dunston moments are these:
1) 1989 against the Mets, he goes out well into left field and fields a pop up over his head, then has to juke to his right to avoid killing Dwight Smith. The runner at first had gone halfway and then sprinted back to first when Shawon caught the pop-up. Shawon avoided Dwight, wheeled around and threw a strike to Grace at first and doubled the guy off to win the game. The throw was at least 250 and it was perfect. I still remember Smith tackling Dunston in left field as the rest of the team sprinted out to pile on him. You’d have tought they just won the pennant.
2) Shawon beat up teammate Marvelle Wynne on the field before a game in St. Louis. Marvelle went on the DL, Shawon played that day.
3) Every time he flailed at a bad pitch and actually hit it, he tore down the first base line like his house was on fire. You have to respect that.
It was good to see Shawon again last night. And in a couple years he’ll be back in the Cubs dugout as a coach. You can book it.
Then he can teach Corey that the pitch you want to swing at isn’t the one over your head, but the one that bounces in the dirt.
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Just how good was Kevin Garnett last night in the T’wolves 83-80 game seven win over Sacramento? Garnett finished the game with 32 points, 21 rebounds, five blocks and four steals. He scored every field goal the Timberwolves made in the fourth quarter of the game. He rattled in a shot-clock-beating three with three minutes to go and he stole the ball on a key possession with under a minute to go. It was his 28th birthday. It was the anniversary of the death of his friend and teammate Malik Sealy. He had said some pretty dumb things about Uzis and joints and other stuff the day before.
But most of all he was still stung by Magic Johnson and Charles Barkley ripping him last year for not taking games over at the end. Magic’s a moron and Charles just likes to stir stuff up, but even they had a point. Whatever it was, Kevin got it and turned in a performance for the ages. He would not let the Timberwolves lose, even though they tried to pull it off, anyway.
Minnesota is playing with some handicaps. Wally Szczerbiak has broken vertebrae (ouch), Sam Cassell’s got a bad back, Mark Madsen, Michael Olowakandi and Ervin Johnson are all just bad. They even have two Bulls’ rejects playing key minutes (Trenton Hoiberg and Fred Hassell, or whoever they are). If you’re giving key minutes to Trenton Hoiberg you’ve got problems.
Do they stand a chance against the Lakers.
Let me pause for a moment to ponder it.
Hell no.
But for one night, Kevin Garnett was as good as anybody’s ever been. You have to give him credit for that.
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Honestly, does Phil Rogers just write this stuff to be funny? He can’t really think that the Sox should trade for Randy Johnson and Steve Finley, only then to trade Magglio Ordonez, does he? He wants the Sox to trade Carlos Lee and Neal Cotts and some minor leaguers to Arizona for the Big Unit and Finley. Then trade Ordonez for prospects. So the net loss is Ordonez and Lee and Cotts for Johnson (who is still great, but who has a bad back and bad knee and a $16 million price tag) and Finley who 39 years old and not as good as either Lee or Orodonez. It’s brilliant! If you’re a Twins fan, you should pray that Kenny Williams does this.
By the way, somebody had fun with the headline on that article, too. Go back and read it.
Moises drops a bomb on his pappy.
Kerry might pitch on Sunday, but it’s more likely he’ll pitch next Friday against the Pirates.
Seabiscuit’s Jockey says that he doesn’t think Sammy will be back when his DL stint ends because he was limping yesterday. Whatever you say, doctor.
They haven’t been this excited in Lansing, Michigan since Lupe Izzo’s last Tupperware party!
Rosey with Joe Mantegna.
Greg Couch wants Kenny Lofton back. That’s OK, I think Tom Goodwin can hit .231 for us…eventually.
Very impressive, Kenny Williams was part of four no hitters. Of course, the only one he played in was one where his team got no-hit. Don’t ever pretend that Kenny was any good. He wasn’t. He sucked.
Brian Hanley on The Lemons.
Brian Sabean’s losing patience with his team. Hey, nobody held a gun to his head and forced him to sign the likes of Deivi Cruz, Neifi Perez, Dustin Hermanson, Brett Tomko, Jeffrey Hammonds or Michael Tucker.
Mike Montgomery to coach the Warriors? What in the name of Lon Kruger is going on, here. I’d like to note that if he takes the job, I’m throwing my hat in the ring to be the coach at Stanford.
A delightful tale of Paris Hilton and Ron Jeremy.
Pat Hughes does not have this problem. Neither does Moises.
We just can’t get rid of Kelsey Grammer.
Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Costner in a remake of “The Graduate”, is this the third circle of hell?
America’s finest news source with some interesting stuff on the new voting machines.
We’re calling because we want our ridiculous, bush-league dance back.
Watching Dunston literally tear out of the batter’s box and leg out a single into a double was always fun. He was never a good basestealer, but he was one of the fastest men I’ve ever seen from base to base when the ball was in play. And I’ve NEVER seen a SS before or since with such a cannon for an arm. If only Dunston could have been a BIT better hitter….Even so, other than the tragically short career of Ken Hubbs, Dunston is the best middle infielder the Cubs ever developed in-house. Loved the Shawon-O-Meter too! Good times.
Lineup of Cubs that didn’t mind getting their pants dirty, giving 100%, and playing hurt:
OF–Keith Moreland
OF–Bob Dernier
OF–Andre Dawson
3B–Bill Madlock
SS–Shawon Dunston
2B–Glenn Beckert
1B–Bill Buckner
C–Jody Davis
P–Fergie Jenkins
P–Rick Reuschel
P–Kerry Wood
P–Carlos Zambrano
P–Mitch Williams
P–Rod Beck
Mgr–Leo the Lip
You’d win a lot of pennants with that team. As opposed to the Cubs slacker team:
OF–Brian McRae
OF–Joe Wallis
OF–Dave Kingman
3B–Ron Cey
SS–Ricky Gutierrez
2B–Bump Wills
1B–Fred McGriff
C–Todd Hundley
P–Steve Trachsel
P–Ray Burris
P–Julian Tavarez
P–Ken Holtzman
P–Lee Smith
P–Les Lancaster
P–Kyle Farnsworth
Egads…
Wood was just placed on the DL. Of course, Boers and J Hood are bringing up "the Cubs are lying" storyline again. George Ofman surprisingly threw water instead of gasoline on that fire, playing a clip from Jim Hendry that noted that Wood was 95%, but it’s May and they’re only a game out, so they’re going to wait another week.
Michael Weurtz was recalled from Iowa, presumably to join in the search for the missing Todd Wellemeyer.
By the way, I attended the Giants-Cubs game last evening and it was the best crowd I’ve seen at Wrigley in years as far as paying attention to the game, not moving around a lot during play, and overall good behavior. I did notice a decline in the number of beer vendors roaming the seats, which may be an indication that the Cubs are cutting back a little on the booze-hawking.
When is it my turn to go on the DL? Aren’t my legs about to fall off? Or my bladder burst all over the outfield?
I’m ready to get hurt too.
It’s about damn time I got some love around here. How hard is it to pull your lips off Santo and spread the wealth once and awhile?
Grudzielanek, Remlinger, Prior, Wood, Sosa. Mercker has had a sore back. Walker a sore shoulder, missed some games, not effective since. Patterson’s knee is held together by chewing gum and paper clips. Mo Alou is made of balsa wood. Matt Clement’s groin is always ready to burst.
Naw, no reason for concern, nothing to see hear folks, move along.
Any discussion of great #4’s in Cubs history must include me!
Hey, wasn’t I developed in house? I mean they got me out of the Negro Leagues but I was a Cubs farmhand.
And no, not "slave" farm hand.
Am I this?
![]("http://www.davidandmaddie.com/images/bert-00.jpg"/)
![]("http://www.moviefans.de/goonies/img/sloth.jpg"/)
Or this?
Consider this move by the Cubs, sneaky and good.
If Kerry goes on the DL when he gets hurt he can’t serve his suspension because you can’t do that while you’re on the DL. So he got that out of the way.
Yesterday, they basically decided not to start him until May 28 in Pittsburgh, which means they could DL him, have it be retroactive to May 12 (the day after he last pitched) and add a guy to the roster.
Now, only if that guy wasn’t Wuertz.
I see the point in not comparing Patterson to Dunston. But Shawon never lived up the the hype of "picked before Gooden." Shawon was a frustrating player because he had the talent, but never really learned to harness it. Perhaps he’s miles better than Corey because Shawon sure seemed to be coachable. Corey doesn’t seem to be.
But the comparison of two players who have unlimited potential yet do not realize it because the players are inherintly dumb ballplayers, sticks.
I liked Dunston more than I’ll probably ever like Corey. But there wasn’t a day that the Cubs had Dunston I didn’t wish they had someone better at that positon.
I hope it’s sneaky and good, but I can’t see how, if they DL him now, it can be retroactive to a time period when he was suspended.
By the way, Jeff Blauser has to be either the 3B or SS on the Cubs’ All-Slacker Team. I’ve even named an award after him for the Most-Hated Cub. Cey was a better player than Gooty.
You’re not serious.
An all-slacker team w/o Kalvoski Daniels?
I would protest being left off the all-slacker team, but that would probably involve getting off my ass & filling out paperwork, so screw it.
Let’s put it this way: I like Shawon more NOW than I did when he played. Shawon is the REASON why we are all so impatient with Patterson.
"Oh, this is the year he makes the leap. This time, he gets it."
Yeah. With the Giants. When he was 38.
Shawon won the "Distinguished Little League Graduate Award" in 2003.
The Cubs drafted Dunston before Gooden because Dunston had a better arm.
I played in more games and had a higher batting average than any other player (fielder) taken in the first Rd in 1982. You could’ve also ended up with Spike Owen, Ron Karkovice, Sam Horn or Franklin Stubbs.
The only other 2 who amounted to anything were Doc Gooden and Todd Worrell.
If anything you guys should be all over the Cubs for taking me at #6 in 1983 and not Roger Clemens (#19).
Ah, Willie and Kal, I had to make choices, but you are indeed muy deserving of all-time all-slacker honoraria. Thing is, so many choices, so few spots. Candy Maldonado sends his regards.
Thanks for the timely update on Shawon’s award, spudart.
We can only hope BC is taking notes.
Gordie Goldsberry had to feel good using the third overall pick on me in 1984.
Three things…
First, it wasn’t "Sportsfire" that Gary Miller and Roy Firestone hosted, it was "Up Close". But, then again, Andy defends me all the time so I’ll forgive him for that small snafu.
Second, I know we have all gotten on Patterson at one time or another in 2004 but right now he is looking a little more patient at the plate now that he isn’t in the two spot.
Finally, in downstate Illinois we don’t get Fox Sports Chicago (Cuss…) but the game was on ESPN2, meaning I had to hear Chris Berman and Jeff Brantley’s call of the game. Talk about the most nicknames and stuttering in three or so hours you’ll ever hear. But, at least Brantley did call the Alou homer that ended the game. That’s worth something, right?
My reward for actually doing something is I’m not playing today.
One other thing I forgot…
The player that in my opinion is still the best player in the history of Major League Baseball was able to pull off the small number when he was huge trick…
Babe Ruth, anyone? Anyone?
Although, Killebrew did the trick well too, or something.
Say what you want abut taking Shawon #1 overall. But have you forgotten that I was also a Cubs 1st rounder in 1982?
Number 6 sure looked good on me. Like I was a catcher or something.
Hell, today’s line-ups look like something you’d see in a mid-March exhibition game in Mesa.
Look at that crap the Giants are putting on the field.
We gettin’ a game cast today, Andy?
Andy, you were a guest of mine on Sportsfire, how could you forget the name of Roy’s show?
Dumbass.
hey buddy…
My sterling appearances on Chevrolet Sportsfire inspired The Score to hire me full time.
Because this is fun (for me anyway, and that’s all that really matters)…Here’s the Cubs draft picks from 1980-2000, who they drafted (#pick) and who they could’ve drafted (#pick). Boy do I wish I had a time machine….
1980-Don Shulze P(#11)-Dennis Rasmussen P (#17
1981-Joe Carter OF(#2)-Hey we got one right!!
1982-Dunston SS (#1)- Gooden P (#5)
1983-The above mentioned Davidson/Clemens
1984-Drew Hall P (#3)-Cory Snyder OF(#4),Jay Bell SS(#8), Mark McGwire 1B(10)
1985-Rafael Palmeiro OF(#22)-Steal of the 1st Rd.
1986-Derrick May OF(#9)-Weak draft after Matt Williams, Kevin Brown & Sheffield gone after 6. Roberto Hernandez P (#16)
1987-Mike Harkey P(#4)-Jack McDowell P(#5), Kevin Appier P(#7), Craig Biggio C (#22), Travis Fryman SS (#30)
1988-Ty Griffin (#9)-Robin Ventura 3B (#10),Tino Martinez 1B (14),Brian Jordan OF (#30)
1989-Earl Cunningham OF (#8)-Just missed Frank Thomas at #7
1990-Lance Dickson P (#23)-Rondell White OF (#24)
1991-Doug Glanville OF (#12)-Manny Ramierez OF (#13), Cliff Floyd 1B (#14), Shawn Green OF (#16)
1992-Derek Wallace P(#11)-Shannon Stewart OF(#19), Jason Kendall OF (#23), Charles Johnson C (#28), Johnny Damon OF (#35)
1993-Brooks Kieschnick OF(#10)-Billy Wagner P(#12), Derrick Lee 1B(#14), Tori Hunter OF(#20)
1994-Jayson Peterson P(#15)-Terrance Long OF (#20)
1995-Kerry Wood P(#4)- Ben DAvis and Jose Cruz went 2, 3 HaHa!!
1996-Todd Noel P(#17)-Eric Milton P(#20), Chris Reitsma P(#34), Jason Marquis P(#35)
1997-Jon Garland P(#10)-Lance Berkman OF(#16)
1998-Corey Patterson OF (#3)-Austin Kearns OF (#7), Sean Burroughs 3B(#9), Mark Prior drafted #43 by the Yankees
1999-Ben Christensen P(#26)-Good pick at the time as he was highly regarded out of college. Nobody else worth taking left after Ben Sheet P at #10.
2000-Luis Montanez IF(#3)-Rocco Baldelli OF(#6), Chase Utley IF(#15)
2001-Mark Prior P (#2)-I hear he’s pretty good.
It just hit me…
Did someone say J Hood is on with Boers?
Does that mean Bernstein’s contract has expired???
IS THERE HOPE THAT HE WILL NOT BE BROUGHT BACK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
What a weak eff-ing draft when you are comparing someone to my 83 mph meatballs.
I’m expected to sign a new contract tomorrow.
Sorry.
At least you went before me at #41 (but #1 in your heart).
If I only knew that Dallas Green picked Mike Harkey over my true love Beege in 1987 earlier! I could have given him an earful about how the Cubs would have been working on their 17th straight World title by now.
And me? Let’s just say there’s not enough K-Y jelly in the world.
Let’s not deny Candy Maldonado his rightful place on the all-slacker team…
TW, that list was nice, but you can do that with every team. Nobody knows what the hell is going on in the MLB draft.
I know. I did it just to show what kind of team we could’ve had in the 80’s.
What, we didn’t have a good team in the ’80s? Which team is this again? The Cubs? Did I manage them? I did? No shite?
Gene,
You were my first manager I ever had in the bigs, and I’ll never forget that.
How did you let me make my debut? As a PINCH-RUNNER, running for Jody Davis.
Of course, I guess I can’t blame you for giving up that home run to Billy Hatcher in the top of the next inning.
But Gene, I had my best years with you. 1987, what a peach. I even returned to Des Moines that season, right after the outing where I beaned Benito Santiago in retaliation for Eric Show beaning Dawson and knocking him out of our lineup for a week.,
Your site is a much needed addition to my life. THANK YOU!