Pitching matchups:
Cubs: Greg Maddux, 3-3, 4.37
Houston: Clettitte (LHP), 4-1, 3.51
Lineups:
Cubs
Jose Macias, 2b
Corey Patterson, cf (Huh?)
Moises Alou, lf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Derrrrrek Lee, 1b
Todd Hollandsworth, rf
Michael Barrett, c
Ramon Martinez, ss
Greggie, p
Astros
The Beege, cf
Adam Everett, ss
Jeff Bagwell, 1b
Jeff Pornstache, 2b
Fat Lance, lf
Rex Morgan, MD, 3b
Poppy Hidalgo, bat boy
Brad Ausmus, c
Clettitte (LHP), p
But…where am I?
Go Yankees!
My hemorrhoid doughnut is not enough to comfort my rectum tonight. Talk about and orafice jamboree.
I don’t know if the Beege is a five tool player, but one of his tools is still an eight on the scouting scale.
I’m not saying there’s nobody there, but if you go home from that game without a foul ball, you just weren’t trying.
The Wizard of Roz said the Sox should trade for me. It’s a good idea, because I’m the only guy who can fit into the pants Bartolo Colon left behind.
If I go 0-4 we lose. If I go 0-5 we win!
Did you hear me go off on Sammy today for not wanting to go on a minor league rehab? Every time he goes on the DL when he comes back he goes 1-11 and then gets caught with a corked bat! Every time!
Just remember, it’s bad luck to strike out the first batter.
Right?
Steve just said that Corey doesn’t try to hit homers against lefties.
Pardon me while I laugh so hard that I leak urine.
I have so dazzled Dusty with my batting skillz that I’m back in the 2 hole. Whaddaya mean, "huh?"
My TV is broken. This one showed Corey drawing a walk.
Corey shouldn’t try to get a big lead because Clettitte will pick him off.
Corey steals second.
Oops.
Seriously, what are the odds that Pettitte and Clemens haven’t had sex at least once? Would you take that bet? Would you? You bet you wouldn’t.
Steve says Jimy Williams isn’t animated.
I beg to differ.
Steve says that "Everett is just short of a magician at second." The magician made a big error in the Brewers final Saturday loss to Milwaukee.
If he’s a magician he’s no Doug Henning.
Should I strike out three pitches or four?
Whoops.
"This is the biggest at bat of the game!"
Settle down, combover boy. Go spray a little Consort down your pants and get a grip.
Fine, I killed the rally. But it’s still Macias’ fault.
For the third time in four games:
Starting first baseman, Lou Merloni.
Where’s Ben Affleck when you need him?
Have I ever played left field in this park before?
My boyfriend just got a double!
I honestly thought the first pitcher to get on his knees tonight would be Clettitte.
Hey, Maddux’s fastball is only 85. I can smoke it up there at 87.
My range at short is excellent.
For a cadaver.
Why isn’t my man Bako because catching? I can’t work like this!
I’ll play for Ramon! Just call me up
Did I just say this?
"Aramis still doesn’t have any sunglasses, let’s hope Kent doesn’t hit it at him. He does, but it’s to right field."
What does that mean?
Hollandsworth is leading off the second. Guess he didn’t make the last out of the first on a week grounder to Pornstache after all.
Hey, we won the draft lottery! Again! Whooo hoo Emeka Okafor here we come, and maybe 20 wins!
1. Orlando
2. Clippers
3. Bulls
Hey Chicago! I’ll be there at three and I don’t like motorcycles!
Count how many times tonight I…start a sentence and have a long pause because I have no idea how to finish it.
That never gets…
…
…
…
old.
Holy crap, I am sooooo bad.
18 consecutive scoreless innings.
Is that good?
You guys suck!!
Shit, that hurt.
How can I be hurt? I never pitch.
Honestly, we talk about how many players are on the DL, but other than Wood, Prior and Sammy, do we really care if Tom Goodwin, Todd Wellemeyer, Alex Gonzalez or Kent Mercker are on the DL? Honestly.
Anyone miss me?
Am I sleepy? How can I not field that?
Whose worse, me or Ramon?
"Ryan Dempster could be back around July."
Around July? The first or the 31st, there’s kind of a difference there Chippy.
Ooh, let’s hit and run with Pettitte!
4-6-3.
Oops.
"65 Million people voted for American Idol!"
That’s actually 1423 people and three chronic masturbators who wrote a computer program to scramble our phone bank.
I suck because I’m a Lemon! Ha ha ha!
Yeah, I wonder how long the media is going to keep on that "cute" little nickname story with these should-be benchwarmers playing so shitty?
I’m aging rather well, aren’t I?
![]("http://www.celebrity-gallery.com/content/pictures/PaulaAbdul/paula8.jpg"/)
Paula, you look like a red x.
Great, Chip just picked up on the scoreless innings thing. Now he can bleet on about that for a while.
I thought you’d just like to know I hit #11 to help you guys out against the first place Reds.
Can you put me back up?
Let’s try this one.
![]("http://www.paula-abdul.net/three.jpg"/)
The Cubs Suck…Any other news?
Cubs batters don’t even let opposing pitchers work up a sweat.
Diana DiGarmo isn’t missing many meals is she?
I sure love Craig
Clay Aiken just said "erected" and now I’m extremely uncomfortable.
I can’t wait til I pinch-hit
Holy crap, I am unbelievably bad. Just horrific.
Who wants to bet that Ordonez is playing short in game one on Friday?
I’m tonight’s Bako!
Greg Maddux, you aren’t good enough anymore to let guys run all over your ass.
I’ll agree with myself..I suck
I love it when the other team hits homers. I just get all giddy!
I’m Horrid
So am I.
Have I gien up a home run in every start?
a 1-2-3 inning for Clettite the rest of the night.
This spring I gave big bucks to Maddux, Lee and Kerry Wood’s tricep.
I need to burn that fucking checkbook.
This is bad
Hey Greg is your leg bothering you?
Greg: "Nah, I just suck."
So I pretty much went from scrub to the Cubs #3 starter with one start, huh?
Why did I sign Maddux
Make that the staff ace for a week or two…
Alert the fans in the outfield, we’re going to have hail sized baseballs all night!
They ar elying about Wellemeyer – he’s out for the season. That Dusty just over uses his pitchers.
Lies, Lies, Lies.
Honestly, given the current state of the Cubs, shouldn’t The Franchise throw his 75 pitches in Pittsburgh on Sunday and not Iowa. What’s the freaking difference?
Gee, I guess this won’t be win #293
I didn’t overuse Wellemeyer. Hell, I never used him!
Good point Andy
Yeah, lets just do last night’s game again.
Hey, anybody see that thing on ESPN last weekend about the time in spring training a few years back that Aaron Miles and I got mugged and held hostage by some drug dealers?
The difference is we have better hitters than the Pirates do.
We can’t even overcome a 1-0 deficient, how the hell are we gonna do anything 4 runs down? Time to lie down and play dead again.
If I worked for anybody but Dusty would I stand any chance of not being fired?
I didn’t think so.
Of course we do I play for the Redhawks
I just said that whoever wins the All-Star Game gets the seventh game of the World Series.
Actually, you get games 1,2, 6 and 7.
I’m a pretty bad coach, huh? Look at Walker, for instance. Wasn’t he really hard to strike out last year, and doesn’t he have 5 k’s in the last 2 or 3 games now? Either he suddenly forgot how to hit, or since the rest of the hitters sucks too, I’m just the worst hitting coach in the world.
I hope I’m not back the next inning. But if the alternative is Wuertz, perhaps I don’t.
"Greg Maddux replaces Shaun Estes." – written back in March.
True in May.
What was that, a Cub getting a hit?
Have we ever seen that before?
OH MY GOD A SINGLE!
"Taking all the way" says Chip on 3-0.
Not possible. Taking all the way means taking all the way to 3-2, moran.
I enjoy walking. I enjoy anything that’s passive.
Down four runs, haven’t scored in 20 innings, two on, nobody out. Let’s bunt!!! We just need to break the streak, screw the win.
We saw this movie last night.
Two thumbs down.
Fox just had a nice shot of Greggie chewing out Barrett in the dugout.
I’d like to see Barrett get in the old f@#$ers face and say, "Hey, I’m not the one throwing 80 mile an hour fat ones down the middle of the plate."
I’m on again on HBO right now. Perhaps I’s cans takes Patterson for ya’s tonite instead of Adrian?
It ain’t Barrett’s fault you suck.
Holy crap, we scored!
Did anybody else just notice that Wendell Kim gets in the worst possible spot behind third base to try and signal to the runner? He might as well just hide his midget ass right behind the bag.
Hi guys
Look, guys, it’s not just me, okay? At this rate, we’re going to need a lot more sucks-o-meters.
I thought I wasn’t eligible to come off the DL until June 6th. That’s while I’ll be pitching in hell–I mean, Iowa–this weekend.
Perhaps I should have made that option for 2007 vest at 300 innings instead of 400?
Maybe 200?
Maybe 150?
I’m selling at 100.
Gabor Paul Bako, II, on a team with a lot of guys sucking, you’re still the king.
You know why Prior’s on the 60 day DL and not the 15, still?
Because they needed a spot on the 40 man roster for me!
Haven’t I helped out.
I stil suck
Am I doing color on the Expos-Braves game?
First and third, one out. What’s the worst thing I could do? Double play?
Hell no, I’ll just whiff! Again!
Bako over me? NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ME!!!!
The amount of bile spilt over a backup catcher versus the #3 draft pick overall who has 5 tools never ceases to amaze.
Yes, Tom. Now come over here and help me with your rect…I mean in the rectory.
Am I gay?
Damian, you should be starting at 2nd and me in RF, we’ve won every game that both of us started. I can’t believe Dusty hasn’t used that freak statistic to put us both in the lineup more often
"Greg puts a charge into that."
A "charge" for a Texas leaguer.
What do you call a shot to the warning track?
Gee, I don’t know Korey, maybe it’s because as bad as you are supposedly sucking, you’re still batting a hundred points higher than Bako is.
And if we’re lining up guys to flog, Corey gets to wait until we’re done with D. Lee.
Shut up, Korey, being the king of suck is ALL I HAVE, you jackass. I’m #1!
I’m gaining on you, Bako. Watch your back.
OWW!!
I guess that this one is in the bag…speaking of that…where’s Roger?
Shit! Did I overwork Pettitte, too?
No matter what happens tonight or in the next week, I am the reason you should never give up on the Cubs this season.
Shit! Did I overwork Pettitte, too?
What’s wrong with Clet?
He missed a double by a foot and a half. I know what he says six inches is, so it’s more like he missed a double by about four feet!
Hi Andy, how have you been? Glad to be back here in Houston with you.
Bad elbow…again.
There’s a reason why Maddux has a whole chiffarobe full of me and my brethern…
Nice catch, Greg.
I was hoping Chip and Steve would get a Clettite interview after the game and the hick could hee-haw about how God helped him win this one.
Ron Santo: Let’s turn this thing around…right now.
Hey, I’ve heard that somewhere before.
Hey, LeftElbow Discomfort, what happens in Houston, stays in Houston.
Anybody else notice that Steve said that Beege is one of the "most prolific hit batspeople" in the league? If that doesn’t prove that Beege is a girl, I don’t know what does.
Maybe I can sniff around the Astro lockerroom and get an exclusive…
Nah.
I’m sick of Andy Pettitte and his holy mumbo jumbo. I’ve decided to smite his left arm.
Besides, when the Yankees say you’re done…you’re done. Doesn’t anybody ever learn?
The last Jesus Freak they let go, John Wetteland had one good year after he left before his arm fell off.
Pettitte won’t even get that.
Oh, Beege!
I’m here to lead the attack!
Jesus Christ, my arm hurts.
I’m two for my last 28!
That’s .071 if you’re doing the math!
I want a Ramon-o-meter. Set it on COMPLETELY USELESS!
Whee, a fly out!
Hey, God:
Don’t forget that I am the Desipio Savior.
![]("http://www.calvincrest.org/images/jesus1_1.jpg")
I’m going off the charts whenever I’m near Ramon…he is totally radioactive and poisoning the Cubs…
Fantasia just tore her labrum!
Where’s Dave Tumbas when you need him?
Who stole the Cubs and put those losers on the field
Wow, let’s not take advantage of the starting pitcher going out of the game with an injury AT ALL.
I hate to admit it, but we’re undefeated with the Jesus picture.
Have a size 12 ass in them.
Ouch.
Suffering young fans, come unto me.
Hey Diana, the white polyester look is all mine. I’m suing.
By the way, I still have that job at a Burger King in Grand Rapids.
Shhh.
You useless little shits. Here I am, snapping Clettite’s arm off for you so you can score off the only-feared-by-Chippy Astros bullpen, and you still let me down.
Didn’t I look graceful going after that pop up? Especially the part where I never took my mask off. I don’t want to take one off the schnoz. I’m too cute to damage this property.
God? What? I don’t know what the hell’s going on, because I play sleepwalking. Or stoned.
Our boy Mike is pitching for the Astros right now!
Gratzie!
Who called?
![]("http://cache-origin-west.eonline.com/Features/Features/Twenty/Images/seacrest.jpg"/)
Wow I’m glad I finally showed up..Sorry I was late guys.
Do I ever not bitch about anything?
I am the biggest pain in the ass..ever.
Execute the losers. Then the winner.
I have the biggest ass ever.
Don’t make fun of my mask! What if I went on DL with a broken nose caused by a pop up ball I couldn’t catch and you got Bako every day?
Can you tell I live in Orlando?
"Greg is starting to rediscover the magic!"
Oh, Lance just hit a homer! Wheee!!!!!
I looked more like this.
![]("http://www.nccjlacamp.org/images/big/jewish%20man2.jpg"/)
Eat it, Greg.
i held it like an egg
oops Greg was caught again
WOW I SUCK!!!
I wish my brother Greg were here.
Should I make it 2 homers in a row again? I wonder if I’ll be bitching out Barrett in the dugout again.
I hate locomotives.
I still love Geoff Blum! He’s so good.
Here are his numbers with Tampa…
.184, 2 HR, 3RBI.
He’s a God!
What the Cubs need is someone like me…bring back the Soul Patrol.
What’s our record with a hip Heeb on the page?
If Clemens wasn’t in love with Pettite, do you think he would have bitched him out by now for being such a wuss?
Who will score more tonight, the Astros or the Pacers?
I don’t know about those guys, Andy, but I will certainly score with the Beege
So I’m in a stadium named for an energy based pyramid scheme, renamed for a fruit drink, that hosts a team named for the flying members of the space program, located in a city known for banks, oil, and the Bush family.
What the fuck do I have to do with anything?
![]("http://www.ballparksofbaseball.com/nl/enron712.jpg"/)
Hey guys! I hated missing the games, so I bought a satellite dish to catch them all! Now I just have to mount this puppy to the roof!
Heh…heh-heh-heh…heh…
When Chip said the Astros couldn’t afford me, did he mean that my salary was too high, or that they couldn’t afford to have my Bako-like bat in the lineup so they took the option away from the senile Jimy Williams?
I wonder if the Cubs could even hit me at this point…except E-Ramis and those two singles.
Hey, er, where’s that train!
I’m Todd Hollandsworth, bitch!
5-3.
I can, Josh.
You’re welcome.
Didn’t this Todd Hoffelsberger guy play for me last year?
He was alright.
Good job, Hollandsworth
I can go on Saturday if you need me, coach.
Hey, Gardenhoser, how’s your arm?
Have another cigar, Dad.
If anyone noticed that Hollandsworth was the only guy who had a decent night last night as well (1-2 with a bb)?
I’m not really that slow. I’m just tired after chasing Chip around the suite last night. ;)
To: P. Bako
cc: J.B. Baker
re: Playing time
I’ll be taking things from here. Thanks for your service to the team.
Kind regards,
M. Barrett
Here you go, Holly.
Hellz yes, Bako should never play again.
And neither should I.
Dubois??? Where’s MY pinch-hit at-bat?
Damian,
Come back. We miss you.
Love,
Iowa
Nice one there Wendell
Go… STOP!!!!!!!!
Hidalgo had the ball before Barrett (our catcher) got to third.
Jesus Christ, I’m the worst ever, aren’t I?
Ah-so, so so solly…Numbah 1 catcha not so fass.
The Cubs haven’t gotten on base in a few hundred inning, I might be a little rusty tonight
Scroll up for my answer.
I’m not sure anyone noticed, but I went to right field there. I can hit. Is that why I never play?
I couldn’t do it with out all of you
I am going to beat Wendell Kim with a stick. Now my first major league hit will forever be linked with a dumbass call by the 3rd-base coach.
Thanks. Really, thanks a lot.
Here’s the solution, Dubois — stop hitting. I had that problem early on in the season, but now I play almost every day!
Hey, what’s with Ausmus? Doesn’t he know you’re supposed to run about five feet in front of home plate and catch the throw?
What a hack.
If I was catching you would have been safe, due to me being a total puss and moving out off the way.
As long as we have the negatives of those pictures of Dusty and Ray Burris doing the tranny hooker, we’ve got job security.
That’s who should be toeing the slab for North Side right now.
Questions for tomorrow:
How long will Prior be out?
How long will Wood be out?
How long will Wendell be your 3rd base coach?
Nah! Skip the last one.
Between Gary Matthews and Wavin Wendall, it’s a shock the Cubs EVER score. Even every 20 innings.
We’ll get em in Pittsburgh, boys!
Hello!
Fantasia’s the winner. Pop music is the loser.
GOODBYE
Rusch, Leicester/Anderson, Mitre…this is likely what will make the trip to PNC this weekend…
Is this really happening?
If I stay on the roster for a few, you know there will need to be a Wuertz-o-meter.
Did someone say, "squeeze play."
Honesty compels me to say that I enjoy squeezing…
Gotta like the fact the bunt was at me and hard, and I still couldn’t make a play.
When was pop music anything but the loser?
Will we be enough?
That’s not a suicide squeeze, Chip, it’s you getting a cab after the last game of the season…forever.
You can go, but only if you click on us first.
Wow,things have gone from bad to Wuertz
How could I be anything but terrible with a pun-able name like Wuertz? Has Chippy made any of his great jokes about that yet?
Wuertz is my white flag
What should the click to post ratio be?
Hey, couldn’t I come back up? Please?
Anybody else just see me do the Bako at home plate to let the tying run score just now in the Jays-Angels game? It’s freakin’ contagious.
The Astros have owned the Google ads,oh the humanity.
Pratt you must stay under this water for another 3 minutes…don’t try to come back up, that will make it worse.
5:1 sounds good.
I refuse to click the Google ads until the Bak-o-meter comes down.
That means he can kick your ass chip
All I do is rake, buddy.
Double
Strikeout
Single
Single
No runs.
Thanks Wendell.
Can we sign my brother Pete? Then we’ll sibling catchers like the Angels. I should note that Pete is in a wheelchair. But he’s still better than I am.
Double
K
Single
Single
Sac bunt
Single
No runs.
You can also call me Moises.
Can I ruin another rally?
I am the wind.
Your brother could be Steven Hawking,and he would still be better than you.
Here I come baby!
Welcome
Remember that one time when I had a clutch hit in October…those were some good times…
I have a picture of it.
Yawn…here I come. Man, I’m sleepy.
Derrek Lee has no concept of me.
Remember me from the NLCS?
![]("http://www.cswu.cz/characters/movies/ackbar.jpg"/)
I don’t need a concept of the strike zone, y’all are stuck with me for the next 3 years either way. I hit that grand slam once, wasn’t that awesome?
I’m clutch.
For the opponents.
I should be trade bait.
Not that anybody would want me.
It’s a trap!
I hit another homer tonight..
I could come back. I swing at everything, but at least I’m not permanently sedated like Lee.
I’m a trap
But..but..but, I have a Gold Glove!
Do you think my mom still dresses me?
Oh thank God I’m gone
My career OPS before June 1 – .744
After June 1 – .890
See ya next week.
I like Golden Showers
Now I love Adam Everett!
Is there any opponent who I won’t fellate?
Will somebody get this walking carpetbagger out of my way? I mean, Korey.
Hey, I never hit until June, either. You guys seemed to like me alright.
I remember how my teammates liked me, too. I’d come home at night and Dave Martinez and Raffy Palmeiro would already be at my house helping my wife with the laundry. At least she was usually sitting on the washing machine…
Why shouldn’t Chip did my style? Aren’t I adorable?
I mean, DIG my style. I look 12 years old, huh?
Hey, Kent stole my batting stance!
From the home office on Curoscant:
Top 10 Star Wars Lines You Might Hear In A Porno
================================
10) Luke, at that speed do you think you’ll be able to pull out in time?
9) Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
8) You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.
7) Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care what you smell!
6) She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid
5) It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface
4) Backdoor, huh? Good idea."
3) Pull out Wedge, you can’t do any more good back there!
2) Look at the size of that thing"
1) Let’s blow this thing so we can go home!
At least I don’t suck.
Hey, we just play the Pirates and Expos for the next 3 weeks right?
Oh crap.
My fave line from Star Wars is something about blowing this thing and going home.
next game you put hollandsworth at first base, you put dubois in right field, you put goodwin in center, you put macias at short, and you pull walker’s head out of his ass and say you play or jackson will take your place. it’s time to pull out the "the what have you done for me lately playing card." finally you tell barrett you’re catching everyday. that will end that bako shit real quick.
lee, patterson, martinez, and bako should be benched-not for one game, for awhile after they go to baseball couseling 101.
Whowrotethat lastpost?
Even if we lose this one, we’re only a half-game out (the Reds don’t count), yet Kerry has missed three starts, The Franchise has missed 9 or so starts, and Sammy has missed a week and a half. And as hard as it is to believe, the losses of Gonzalez and Grudz have hurt.
Getting our asses handed to us in Houston is no treat, but in the big picture, we’re in okay shape.
Welcome
i like baseball very much, it turns out.
I’m not playing that badly if nobody’s noticed. I guess you haven’t.
Hahaha…have you forgotten I am the manager, Sir New Lineup Moves? Martinez has Pipped Gonzo as far as I’m concerned. I love the guy!
Don’t worry Corey, I’ll pick up the slack. I AM playing that badly.
Dusty,I almost have a golden sombrero
to say that Andy was right about Ramon about a week ago: the more he plays, the more he’s exposed (and not in the good Chip and Beege way). There’s a reason he has never had an everyday job, but is a passable backup middle infielder.
Last 20 at bats:
5 hits, .250 avg.
1 HR, 2 RBI
One walk
Three K’s.
It ain’t great. But it’s better than what it was early on in May.
I’d like ta thank Gawd for helpin’ muh win this one. Ah love ya, Big Guy in the Sky!
Those are Corey’s stats in #278 by the way.
Come here and sit on my lap Clettite,I’m proud of ya
You guys better not bring that weak shit like Rusch, Leicester, and Mitre to PNC this weekend. I’ll put one in each of three rivers.
Andy Pettitte has a strained ligament in his right forearm, caused mainly from giving vigorous hand jobs to Roger Clemens.
That is all.
I’m a stud now, Craig Wilson. That shit on your head is no mullet. It’s just long, golden locks.
#282, two of the Rivers are in foul territory.
#283 don’t you mean "left" arm?
it will be great when i come back and woody gets healthy as well. but the fact is the no-hitting conspiracy will be there to great us. let’s get it straight- we will try for a shutout everytime out, but one has to be realistic. we can’t even score 2 runs with ease. we’re definitely it trouble in the hitting gods don’t come around.
Don’t you mean both arms? I hear Clemens is very demanding
Hey, the Super Bowl’s coming to Houston! In February of 2004!
Get your tickets…yesterday!
I’ll be back, buddy! If you don’t remember, I’m kind of good at that hitting the baseball thing!
Listen, Franchise, I helped all I could tonight. This team is hopeless.
I’d have sent Ensberg on that. Their third base coach is a pussy!
I’m staying with the Lugnuts. At least these kids score me runs sometimes.
You can’t walk guys if you’re going to be a closer.
Tell that to Borowski.
Call me up! I’m ready!
http://www.daytonacubs.com/roster.html?player=1081823630
I’m only on pace for 40 errors at shortstop this year!
I’m 28, approaching free agency, and can’t get anyone out. Why no bile for me?
"I really like this kid, Everett."
Beege is getting old, I need a new Houston love.
Farns, I think we’ve used up all our bile for you.
Go punt some baseballs.
I play every day now. I think I am officially worse than Bako.
How many times have I said that the "Astros will be in it all year long" tonight?
I should have stayed retired. I’m a babbling dumbass just like my nitwit partner.
Where the hell am I tonight?
#301, you’re coaching third base.
I just love it when Steve and Chip retell stories. Do they really think we don’t see just about every game? Is it that hard to tell new stories?
if i threw nine innings, i would throw 270+++ pitches, i’m awesome.
I think we all agree I’ve declined. Is it because (1) I’m sick of trying to carry Chip’s worthless lightweight ass 150 times a year, or (2) I’m working way harder at trying to find a job as GM or in ownership than at my job?
We were jealous of all the attention and Desipio columns Bako’s gotten so we decided to get together and collectively suck as much as possible tonight. How’d we do?
maddux, walker, baker
glad to see the true Farnsworthless is back. why do we even use that guy. i wish him and bako would just miss the plane and not even go on road trips. for home games, i wish they would get so drunk at their favorite gay bar and oversleep for the games. you have to hate those two fags.
This striking out stuff is fun!
Wheeee!
I had no idea!
We’ve played so hard the past two nights, we really deserve a nice break tomorrow.
Yes! Now Dusty will DEFINITELY play me Friday!
Can everybody shut up about Roger Clemens’ retirement?
He pitched in the World Series and then showed up for Spring Training in March. Did he really retire?
No.
It is fun! See, I told you Todd!
Are we really surprised? Every five or six years we have a playoff team. See you in 2009.
It was sort of like saying one of you working stiffs saying that you retired on Friday and then showing up to work on Monday.
I’ve got to go tend to Andy Clettitte.
Look for me friday
do even players that used to know how to hit strike out like madmen when they become Cubs? Why? Really, why? Even if Hendry traded for Beltran, he’d come here and suck.
I don’t know how I feel about sitting Ramon, though, Rey.
Hey I’ll see all y’all mutha’s in Pittsburgh! As long as I can make sure Trenidad Hubbard’s muthafu**in’ phone be disconnected!
Thanks Goody!!!
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