They had a 50-50 chance of getting the first pick. Only the Bulls turn those odds into the third pick.
On-ly the Bulls!
Only the Bulls!
Only the one and only!
Chi-ca-ah-go Bulls!
Groucho summed it up this morning in the Tribune by saying, “It was a two player draft and the Bulls got the third pick.”
But that’s not true.
The best player in the draft can be had with the third pick. Provided he doesn’t have a motorcycle helmet anywhere in his Duke dormitory.
I’m not the Bulls’ GM, though I do have the footspeed of the current one (which is not much), and they don’t let me make the picks. But if I had the first pick, or the second pick, or the third pick and Luol Deng was there on the board, I’m drafting him.
I’m no Duke fan, and I know that more often than not the highly regarded Dookies are bad. The ones who aren’t either develop paper mache feet, or get traded to the Clippers never to be heard from again.
I’ll take my chances with Deng for three reasons.
1) It’s always cool to see a black guy with a British accent.
2) He only played one year at Duke, so Coach K hasn’t had enough time to put the Polish Kurse on his career.
3) He’s 6’8 and can run and shoot and pass and do everything that nobody else on the Bulls can do.
Just how hard is this choice?
If the Magic take Emeka Okafor, good riddance. Great college player, but he’s a power forward in the NBA and he’s already got a bad back. The Clippers will do something stupid. Probably not Shaun Livingston stupid, but if they take Dwight Howard, they’re just guaranteeing that Dwight won’t be good until year four, when he’s signed with somebody else.
That leaves the rest of the draft to the Bulls. It’d be nice if they had won the lottery and had all of the options. But this will work. They just have to let it.
Kirk Hinrich is a nice player, and when you look at what went after him, he was the right pick. But if Dwyane Wade had dropped one more spot…
…well, we wouldn’t need Luol. But Dwyane’s hanging out with head coach Ron Jeremy in Miami and not with head coach Phil Collins in Chicago.
—
The Cubs were less futile last night, though it helped that the half of Clettitte that they faced suffered an injury more common with guys who have PS2’s or X-box than with pitchers. You really wonder just what would have happened in that sixth inning had Wavin’ Wendell not singlehandedly stopped a rally by sending Michael Barrett home on a play that he had no chance of making.
We wondered at the time if Wendell Kim and Gary Matthews worked for anybody but Dusty if they’d have a chance in hell of saving their jobs. The short answer is, “No.” They’d have been fired long ago.
The Cubs continue to be clueless at the plate. They don’t take pitches, they just flail away at anything. In his sixth inning at bat last night, one of the better hitters, E-ramis just swung as hard as he could three times and sat down.
All is not lost, of course. It’s not like we’re going to send Glendon Rusch, Jimmy Anderson and Sergio Meat Tray out this weekend to pitch against the Pirates, or anything.
What? We are?
Where’s that arsenic?
—
Groucho wants to trade the pick. Groucho doesn’t like Deng. Apparently, Groucho doesn’t have cable.
KC and the Sunshine Band were at the lottery. How exciting!
In fact, KC wrote all about just that very thing.
Dusty’s mad about the shutouts. It’s a about f@#$ing time. And he’s got the rotation all screwed up, too.
How can Todd Wellemeyer be hurt if he never pitches? How can Tom Goodwin be hurt if he never plays? What the hell is going on here?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to wonder why the Bulls never win the lottery. Uh, Fat Jay? It’s Elton Brand on line one.
What the hell has gotten into Daryle F. Ward?
Junior says he didn’t get Jack McKeon fired in 2000. He did however get Bob Boone fired. By being hurt.
Kobe might be late for tonight’s game.
Fantasia’s 19? 19 what? She’s the Albert Pujols of music.
Sure, I’ll volunteer to knock up Halle Berry. Why not?
America’s finest news source says that apparently we’ve given up trying to impress England.
Andy:
Go buy yourself a copy of Swank, a pyrex measuring cup and a turkey baster. Then deliver the whole shebang to my agent. That’s the only way you’re getting your seed in my fertile crescent.
Oh, and rent Swordfish and Monster Ball to see what you’ll be missing.
Love,
HB
What no update on our favorite radio station, WSCR? According to Robert Feder in the Sun Times, WSCR and WLS may end up doing a straight up trade with Dan Berstein becoming Roe Conn’s new co-host, and Steve Dahl’s old pal Gary Meier joining WSCR. God help us all.
http://www.suntimes.com/output/feder/cst-fin-feder271.html
Since Andy didn’t do his job and alert all of you:
Be sure to watch the all new Celebrity Poker Showdown tonight on Bravo!
Cause you know if you don’t watch it tonight, you’ll never see it again!
We’ve kicked Kevin Pollack off the show and replaced him with Dave Foley!
Tonight, the "celebrities" are:
Jerome Bettis (did he get this based on his ESPN commerical)
Rosario Dawson (coming off her fine performance in "The Rundown")
Mena Suvari (has she done a movie that doesn’t have the word "American" in the title?)
Wanda Sykes (annoying loudmouth that is only entertaining on "Curb Your Enthusiasm")
Travis Tritt (What? Why? Coudn’t they get Garth Brooks for this role now?)
Stay tuned for next week’s show with "celebrities" and retreads from last season like:
Timothy Busfield (star of that Minnesota Twins win the World Series or whatever movie)
Mo Gaffney (I’m wary of any women named "Mo")
Dule Hill (Star of "She’s All That)
Danny Masterson (Seriously, I don’t know who this is either. Does he sing in the Hamptons? Is he a magician?)
James Woods (Hopefully, reprising his role from "The Specialist")
Will anyone be as stupid as Scott Stapp or as indifferent as Carrie Fisher was last season? Tune in tonight and find out!
why can’t you just say snatch, pussy, cooter, cunt, pooty, box, (etc.) like everyone else?
Am I the only person who’s never heard the term "fertile crescent"?
You may know me better as Hyde on That 70’s Show
And Hyde is a classic sitcom character; the only person that makes the show funny.
Celebrity Poker Showdown is addictive, and I think the worse the celebrities, the better the show. Who can forget how bad Coolio and Scott Stapp were last year?
As for Bernstein and Roe Conn working together, can you have two effeminite pseudo-intellectuals on the same show?
I didn’t see though, (perhaps I missed it) where Garry might be coming to the Score. But the absence of Bernstein has made Boers a little more tolerable. Just a little. He needs to be sent packing, too. But his new contract is done. Damnit. Now if Murph could just go back to running that 76 station with George Bell.
Andy:
You nailed it. What made Roe and Garry so good was the extremely high intelligence of Roe and the sharp wit of Garry. Roe also has the ability to be smart with his caller, yet not condescending. Garry moved the show along, managing callers and keeping the timing smooth. He’d also add a bit of nasty humor along the way.
Bernstein, whom I generally like, adds none of that. He is almost always condescending to his callers. He’s not a smooth manager of the show. He’s very smart, sometimes funny. In other words, he’s Roe but with a prickish side. That’s good for a sports show when you get Bob from Northlake saying, "The Bulls should trade the #3 pick for Tracy McGrady." That’s bad when Suzy from Morton Grove calls in to say, "Fantasia should not be the American Idol."
Don’t do this, WLS. You’ll kill Roe and the whole show.
One more thing. A team of Boers and Garry would be like the Hawk and DJ – two sidekicks and no host.
Will Comcast figure out that Hawk is a good analyst and needs, oh, a John Rooney to lead while DJ and Ed Monotone need to go to away?
Far away.
Like Comet Kohutek far away.
I think you’re forgetting me when you take about people who make That 70’s Show watchable. People love it when I call that foreign kid a dumbass, you dumbass!
Apparently I’m the dumbass because I spell "talk" as "take".
I’d work for Comcast, but I think my catering budget would break the fledgling network.
Andy, what about Bernstein makes you say he’s effeminate?
The question is somewhat rhetorical considering you don’t know how to spell it.
Sorry, Red.
I stand corrected. Masterson and Kurtwood Smith are the only reasons "That 70’s Show" is funny.
Actually, this article only says that WSCR was one of the stations that was trying to make a deal with Meier. However, in his past columns, Feder has said that the Score was probably the frontrunner to get Meier if WLS doesn’t re-sign him.
Oh, Shit! What if WSCR realizes that I have no talent other than self-promotion (did I mention I had dinner at Gibson’s last night with William Peterson?) and Garry takes my time slot AND SALARY!!!!
I’d have to sell my basement, my wife, and my dog [girlie "BARK BARK" is heard]. The listeners would actually get a real show to listen to.
I told you Garry’s wife was an evil bitch.
Why does the entire state of Connecticut post here en masse? And why does it care about Illinois / Chicago radio?
Do you think the station down the dial misses me?
I hate my owner….bark bark
I miss you like I miss rubbing my genital warts, Dangerous.
That’s right, Chet. Now I rub them for you.
And you love it, dont you, you wild bitch!
Your boorish manners remind me of a young Major Harris, that ungrateful little no-talent scumbag out of West Virginia.
Why was I left out of Post 18? My friend the US Virgin Islands is also ticked.
What Garrrrrry Meier knows about sports would fit inside of the thimble that holds what Mike North knows about anything. He’d be (more) horrible on a sports station than ever before.
Did someone just claim that Mike North is smarter than another human being?
Well, it’s obviously true. North is clearly smarter than the poster!
Don’t forget me!
![]("http://www.usflags.com/images/products/northmar.gif"/)
I’ve been here, and Mariana will never forget it!
Girl: My body’s like Australia. There’s certain parts you’re allowed in a certain parts you aren’t.
Man: I see! I can go to your Melbourne and your Sydney. But I can’t go in your bush.
Did I hear correctly that KKKKorey is dating Fox Sports’ Gail Fisher?
So not fair. The guy can’t hit water if he fell out of a boat; he doesn’t acknowledge that he needs to change anything; he occassionally will play so nonchalantly, you wonder if he’s stoned or just has an egg stuck in his rear; and NOW he gets to bang the hottie from Cubs’ pre and post game (I know some people will disagree with me, but I don’t care…she’s hot, and any one of you perverts would do her in a second).
He better start playing better if only to justify the tail he’s got.
In a town filled with hot women, many hotter, and many much more famous than me, that Korey settles for me is fitting.
He swung and missed all the higher-class, fast women.
Just like his on-field performance.
I wonder if this means they’ll have to take me off the pre and post shows
The minute that little s**it’s batting average dips below .215, he’s MINE!!!!!
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