Pitching matchup:
Hou: Roy Oswalt, 3-3, 3.36 ERA
Cubs: Greg Maddux, 3-4, 4.74 ERA
Lineups:
Houston
The Beege, cf
Adam Everett, ss
Jeff Bagwell, 1b
Jeff Kent, 2b
Lance Berkman, lf
Morgan Ensberg, 3b
Richard Hidalgo, rf
Raul Chavez, c
Roy Oswalt, p
Cubs
Todd Walker, 2b
Derrrek Lee, 1b
Corey Patterson, cf
Moises Alou, lf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Todd Hollandsworth, lf
Ramon Martinez, ss
Paul Bako, c
Greggie Maddux, p
Here I come baby!
Why start a guy who’s on fire against your division rival when you’ve got me on the bench?
Oh, Chippy! Miss me?
They don’t have stores in Chicago that sell dark pants?
Because I love you, Bako
Remember how much worse Greggie pitched last time without me?
OK, so it was about the same, hey don’t blame me for having a pal.
Sigh.
Question mark.
OK, I spotted the rest of the division two months. I figure it’s time for me to start playing some ball. My first start is against those Battling Buccos, my second against the Satanic Red Fowl.
Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Hey, we hit all weekend, don’t blame that crap on us. Better find somebody else to take behind the woodshed.
Love,
Corey and Derrek
Just how bright is the sun today?
Both Todds have nearly shanked pop ups.
Okay.
These umps are dressed the way I like ’em.
Forever in blue jeans.
Yesterday I turned down the friggin’ TV sound and turned up Pat and Ron. It did wonders for my sanity.
I almost had some for a change.
OH NO!
Who would you like to do play by play for the Cubs?
After a terrible weekend, you get to the park today and the sun is shining, the Cubs are wearing their real uniforms, Mark Prior is pronounced healthy and ready to go and as badly as they played last week the Cubs are 2.5 back and only one behind the only team they really have to worry about.
It’s time to stop pissing and moaning and just enjoy the fact we actually have a good baseball team to root for.
Did I examine Walker’s front hip?
Don’t even, Walker. Chippy’s all mine!
Possible Cubs play by play guys:
Me
Pat Hughes
Sean McDonough
Darren Sutton (seriously)
Lispin’ Josh Lewin
I’m hitting again, bitches!
Sorry Andy,
They signed me to a 5 year deal in Texas in 2002!
I’d be a fine choice but I’ve been in Boston since ’88.
If I went to TV, does that mean we get the "Andy Masur Show" on radio?
Good god.
First of all, I had an absessed tooth and that’s why I lisped during the playoffs.
Secondly, I got screwed in Chicago. I got hired to do the job Chip has now, only his Grandpa was still alive and he didn’t like me because I wasn’t his illegitimate grandson. I left after one year and had to go to freakin’ Detroit to find a job, and then Harry drops dead.
I think I deserve another chance. I’m actually good at this job, and I have a real sense of humor, unlike Monobrow Jackass.
Sean, you only do one game a week for Boston. We’ll pay you some real cash.
And as for Josh having a five year contract in Texas…A-Rod had a 10 year deal. We’ll just trade them Chip.
Anybody notice I didn’t slide into second. That would have been a good time for Ramon to hit me in the pornstache with the throw.
I just told the ump to throw Berkman out of the game for arguing.
I don’t think I’ve ever said that before.
Wheee!
I can’t be stopped!
My gold glove could’ve handled that!
By the bushel basket!
Did he just say it was 141 degrees in Iraq last year?
I’m back on Friday.
2-2!
Move the Bak-o-meter!!!!
"Scattered Storms"?
![]("http://image.weather.com/web/radar/us_ord_closeradar_medium_usen.jpg"/)
Wow I actually hit a double
Is Sutton the play by play guy for the Brewers? If so, then I think he is pretty good also. I enjoy listening to him on the EI package.
Chip you’re too much
Let is rain…
I just "pissed" Oswalt off
Shut up Chip.
Lets here it……ALOOOOOOOOOOOO!
3-0
Where is Gary Miller?
Find a stat that shows all the other MLB teams and how many runs they’ve scored with 2 outs.
I just said the duck was all it was quacked up to be. Shut up, me.
A little success at the plate, and Oswalt tries to kill me!
Get The Duck Out of here!
Man, I’m an idiot.
No! Not me!
Since Prior’s coming back, I figure it’s about time for an old geezer like me to visit the DL. Should I take Bako with me?
Just be thrilled it ain’t me.
Huh?
I did more scoring on this field then most Cubs players
The Cubs have scored 37.8% of their runs with two outs. The major league average is 38.1%. That puts them 20th in the league. The Mets lead with 48.6% of their runs with two outs; the Yankees are last at 30.2%.
The story, as always: Chip is an idiot.
If I was umping this game, they would have had to make me a pair of pants out of the tarp.
I did more scoring in the Wrigley Field clubhouse than Gayle Sayers did on the field.
What’d I miss?
Extra innings, anyone?
Well, you missed me going 3-3. I expect to be The Cubs Scrub of the Moment.
Borowski is in, can I hit
How many pitches did Farns throw in the seventh?..8?
How many did LaTroy throw in the eighth? 11?
Do we really need Joe here?
Gulp.
I own Hidalgo!
On DVD.
Shit movie.
Jose Vizcaino is a Cubs killer.
He was when he played for the Cubs, and he’s been since he left.
Oh, I kill me.
Nice reflexes on Joe, there. You’d think a guy with a head that big would have no problem knocking that one down.
The Farns: 5
LaTroy: 8
This is why I don’t listen to Chip and Steve as a rule.
Steve: "Palmeiro has one homer as a pinch hitter."
Chip: "That came against Carlos Zambrano in a starting role."
Huh?
Joe’s my closer dammit!
I don’t care about his 8.30 ERA, he gets the job done!
Pitch counts
The Farns: 5
LaTroy: 8
Joe: 47
Hey, my ERA’s "only" 7.78.
"There’s that back door…pitch from Borowski."
Chip is conflicted. Beege is all that stands between Joe and the save.
Well, not any more.
First and third, two out.
A head’s up defensive play!
Cubs win!
That Joe…never a doubt.
Yesterday the Cubs were in fifth.
Today…second. Who knew?
Hey, I got interviewed on the postgame on ESPN! I’m a media star!
And Gary Miller did not pee on me.
N.L. Central
1. Cin 29-21
2. Chi 27-23
2. Hou 27-23
What, you think I was going to talk to that douche bag?
I guess this is goodbye. I was dealt to the Royals, so Dusty will never get to use me and Macias for his 1-2 punch again.
If anyone but Everett lines that Borowski pitch .. I shudder to think.
In other news, the $4 standing room only ticket was well worth seeing Prior in Des Moines!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m Lemon of the Moment! But wasn’t I only 2-3 since I was out at second on my third single?
Greggie and me are the dream team!
"But wasn’t I only 2-3 since I was out at second on my third single?"
Even I know that once you cross first base, if it’s a hit, it’s a hit.
Boy, that Bako sure is a dumbass. Good thing no one ever notices that I overslide the bag all the time and make more stupid plays on the bases than Larry David makes insults to strangers.
Are we still sounding?