When the Bears started their decline after the Super Bowl season, they’d fall behind in games, and it would be clear that they weren’t going to be able to come back, and Dick Butkus would say, “Well, it’s time for somebody to start a fight.” He meant it. And, if he’d have known a way to start a fight from the radio booth, he would have. He could have started by throwing the annoying little stats geek (who seldom, if ever got to speak on-air) Hub Arkush (oh, for those days) out of the booth window.

Yesterday, when people started losing control during the Cubs-Cardinals game (Mark Prior lost control of his pitches, Derrek Lee lost control of his temper, Pat Hughes lost control of…well, you know) it seemed like a good time for a fight.

Granted, with the injury problems the Cubs have had, E-ramis probably would have broken his hand on Lassie’s head during the melee, but it would have been worth it.

The Cardinals will insist that they’re always the unwitting victim in these brushback wars that they tend to get into…with everybody. The one thing they’re good at is acting insulted. They’re used to it, they live in Missouri.

One of the defining moments of the 2003 season was The Farns bodyslamming Paul Wilson into the Great American Ballpark turf. Had Derrek Lee done the same to Matt Morris yesterday…well, let’s just say that the site of Morris’ head buried in the grass in front of the pitcher’s mound would make for a lovely statue next to the one of Harry Caray in front of the ballpark.

The brawl didn’t happen, though Lee gets style points for not only pointing at Morris, but at The Genius, too. Everybody knows who’s behind every altercation the Cardinals get into. It’s the mulleted lawyer in the dugout. He can’t help it. He’s an ass, and he just has to mix things up.

The Cubs, under Dusty are a much more combative group than they’ve been under previous regimes. From the time of The Farns body slam and on to a couple of weeks later, the Cubs’ bench cleared no less than six times.

Today, the Cubs send their ace to the mound and you don’t have to be a sage to see that the chances for an on-field scrum are heightened.

The Lawnmower earned a permanent place in our hearts last September when he said, “Now, it’s time to go out and kill the Cardinals.” He reminded us of it on May 13 in Los Angeles. The day after Alex Cora’s horrific 18 pitch at bat against Matt Clement, Cora dug in for his first at bat against Carlos. The first pitch drilled Alex and Carlos just kind of glared at him like, “You don’t get to do that foul ball **** against me.”

He won’t go looking for a fight today, but if one finds him, the Cubs will be into it up to their armpits. It’s why we like Carlos so much.

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The Franchise had one of those days. Everybody has them. Even him.

Matt Morris says he was just a little wild yesterday. Sure. Whatever.

Sammy’s going to take a minor league rehab for a couple games at West Tennessee. Personally, I think it’s dumb. But that’s just me.

F*** Eric Zorn.

Larry Bird says the NBA needs a couple of white stars. Sign me up! I’ll do it!

Hey the BCS is fixed! No, it still sucks.

Jeanie Buss sees Phil Jackson naked on purpose. It just proves she’s wacko.

Mike Downey’s column has a point. Right?

Mariotti puts down the doughnut for one of his weakest efforts in a long time. Now that’s saying something. He talks about the game yesterday and like always tries to have it both ways. He also doesn’t seem to notice that the Cubs are a whopping 3.5 games out of first.

The Wizard of Roz says Kenny Williams will get it done. Sure. Whatever. He also has some quotes from Corey that are pretty true. Ramon Martinez hardly gets booed for being terrible because we know he’s terrible. Corey gets booed because the fans expect more. It’s actually kind of a compliment. Huh?

Rosey Brown’s dead? Oh, not that Rosey Brown…

Maybe the Mets should go after somebody who’s not on the DL?

Britney’s having some arthoscopic surgery. On her knee, not on her boobs.

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