I KEEP TELLING YOU, DOLAN!!!! DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A F**KEN’ NORTH SHORE LANDSCAPER WITH THAT MORANIC NICKNAME!!!!
This is the REAL ME!!!
Jose "The Lawnboy" Martinez
on June 15, 2004 at 6:51 pm
Yes sir, I’ve lost my lawnmower can you help me find it?
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 7:08 pm
Sorry, Carlos, but Toro don’t make no Zambonis.
Corey
on June 15, 2004 at 7:11 pm
Come on, Goodwin, I could’ve grounded out on the first pitch, too.
Tom Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 7:11 pm
I had to swing at the first pitch. I didn’t want you to forget Corey.
1/2 inning
on June 15, 2004 at 7:13 pm
Good start.
Lineups
on June 15, 2004 at 7:14 pm
Cubs
Todd Walker, 2b
Tom Goodwin, cf
Moises Alou, lf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Todd Hollandsworth, rf
Derrek Lee, 1b
Michael Barrett, c
Ramon Martinez, ss
The Zamboni? Nah, The Lawnmower, p
Astros
The Beege, cf
Jose Vizcaino, ss (he’s still alive?)
Fat Lance, lf
Jeff Pornstache, 2b
Rex Morgan Ensberg, MD, 3b
Orlando Palmeiro (and Dawn), rf
Jason Lane, 1b
Brad Ausmus, c
Wade Miller, p
Bagwell
on June 15, 2004 at 7:14 pm
I’m skurred of the Lawnmower
Chip Caray
on June 15, 2004 at 7:16 pm
"You might recall that Biggio had hits in his last two at bats last night."
Uhhh…no, because we don’t care, Chippy.
Carlos
on June 15, 2004 at 7:17 pm
I will mow down Jeff Ragweed if he comes up to bat against me tonight!
Ragwell?
Bagwell?
Whatever!
Jose Vizcaino
on June 15, 2004 at 7:17 pm
According to Chip and Steve, they ought to call ME the Genius…but I have no idea why I’m supposedly so smart.
Chippie
on June 15, 2004 at 7:18 pm
I love you Beege. I know you got that double for me.
Whiff
on June 15, 2004 at 7:19 pm
2 out
Whiff
on June 15, 2004 at 7:22 pm
3 out – sit down pornstash!
Beegey
on June 15, 2004 at 7:23 pm
I’ll go tend my little center field mountain.
The Lawnmower
on June 15, 2004 at 7:23 pm
IT’S GETTING BREEZY IN HERE!
I LET BEEGE GET A HIT JUST TO TEASE YOU ALL! THAT’S ALL YOU GET TONIGHT! I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!
Now, I go shout in my glove for a few minutes.
Pornstache
on June 15, 2004 at 7:23 pm
Sit down and go back to your cornlicking videos.
Lefty Cleettie
on June 15, 2004 at 7:25 pm
It’s my Birthday!!
I can’t wait for Rodger to give me my present tonight…
Dusty
on June 15, 2004 at 7:27 pm
Hey L. Clettitte, it’s my birthday too, dude.
I don’t need no Rodgering, if you know what I mean.
Chip
on June 15, 2004 at 7:29 pm
What the hell was I talking about when I said tomorrow is "a battle of the hitting coaches?"
Then, Fox lost sound for 20 blissful seconds.
Richard Hidalgo
on June 15, 2004 at 7:31 pm
Sorry to break this to you, Chip. I jammed my neck on The Beege.
The cast of Cocoon
on June 15, 2004 at 7:31 pm
we own all the box seats behind the screen
Lefty Clettitte
on June 15, 2004 at 7:33 pm
I will be making my rehab start in class A. I requested any ballpark where they don’t have dividers between the shower stalls.
Mony
on June 15, 2004 at 7:38 pm
Let’s see if I can keep my scrub hot streak going here.
Roy Oswalt
on June 15, 2004 at 7:38 pm
Cortizone shots for me, yay!
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 7:39 pm
I AM CUB SCRUB OF THE MOMENT!
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 7:39 pm
Did Chip say, "Ramon has done it again?"
Then say, "That’s his first home run of the season?"
WTF?
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 7:39 pm
There’s your run Lawnmower
Mony
on June 15, 2004 at 7:39 pm
I knew i could do it. I’m not Bako and I proved with that shot. That’s dedicated to my grandfather and uncle.
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 7:40 pm
Take a picture Cub fans, it’s the only time i’ll do this all year!
Ramon Martinez
on June 15, 2004 at 7:40 pm
What did I do again?
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 7:40 pm
i hit one first, Bako buys dinner
Baylor
on June 15, 2004 at 7:42 pm
I’m the new Mets hitting coach
Astros
on June 15, 2004 at 7:43 pm
Why are we having some big team meeting?
Miller
on June 15, 2004 at 7:43 pm
my fagile psyche is hurt by Martinez hitting that homer off me
Chippy
on June 15, 2004 at 7:43 pm
Uh oh!
Uh oh!
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 7:44 pm
Don’t you love how concerned Chip is for other team’s players? Screw that, I hope that arm falls off.
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 7:45 pm
Wheee, hitting is fun!
Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 7:45 pm
is it hot in here or is it me?
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 7:45 pm
This Just in….
I’m on a hot streak
Tom Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 7:45 pm
I meant to ground out on that first pitch, whoops
Miller
on June 15, 2004 at 7:49 pm
I’m at 58 pitches. the Cubs don’t try to run up counts, do they?
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 7:50 pm
Is Korey playing this evening?
Corey
on June 15, 2004 at 7:51 pm
Obviously, I’m the pinch-hitting secret weapon later
Chippy
on June 15, 2004 at 7:52 pm
Andy, you forgot to mention my averseness to saying the word "damn".
Chip
on June 15, 2004 at 7:53 pm
Damn is not a very Christian word. I’m a role model!
Chip
on June 15, 2004 at 7:53 pm
OK Honey,Get a hit (clap clap clap)
Corey
on June 15, 2004 at 7:58 pm
I’m catching that.
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 7:59 pm
i’m looking to sabatoge this game any way i can
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:03 pm
Is Chip the only guy in the world who says the word "bopper?"
Big Z
on June 15, 2004 at 8:04 pm
I own your ass, pornstash! SIT DOWN!!
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:04 pm
How’d you like the Carlos "Kent Tekulve" fastball? Wicked.
Sit down, Pornstache.
Zambrano's fastball
on June 15, 2004 at 8:04 pm
99 mph
Cub Fans
on June 15, 2004 at 8:05 pm
I thought we could pull off the bases loaded, 1 out trick
Chippy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:05 pm
I also have used the word "feted" tonight.
99 MPH
on June 15, 2004 at 8:06 pm
holy shit
Kent's K pitch
on June 15, 2004 at 8:06 pm
yea, but I was only 79
First pitch
on June 15, 2004 at 8:07 pm
The Cubs are huge fans
AFLAC Trivia
on June 15, 2004 at 8:07 pm
Nolan Ryan:
Angels-#30
Astros-#34
Rangers-#34
Chip
on June 15, 2004 at 8:07 pm
I’m disqualifying myself from the Aflac question because I think I know the answer. Of course, I did that Sunday in Anaheim and I was completely fucking wrong.
God, am I a tool.
Zambrano
on June 15, 2004 at 8:08 pm
Don’t even let me catch my breath, you morans!
AFLAC Trivia - FSHouston edition
on June 15, 2004 at 8:09 pm
Last Cubs NL batting champ
Hollandsworth
on June 15, 2004 at 8:09 pm
I might need a nap
Bill Buckner
on June 15, 2004 at 8:10 pm
Me in 1980.
Think they’ll bring up the ground ball and Steve Bartman?
First Pitch
on June 15, 2004 at 8:11 pm
Astros like me too
Hollandsworth
on June 15, 2004 at 8:12 pm
And a haircut.
Disco Stu
on June 15, 2004 at 8:12 pm
I am listening to the game on the radio, so someone tell me what Zambrano did after he struck out Jeff Pornstache.
#67, he just pointed to the sky like he does everytime he walks off the field.
Ron Santo
on June 15, 2004 at 8:14 pm
"Corky Cox is quite the woman
Pat: I believe you are refering to COURTNEY Cox
Ron: Ooohhhhhhh
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:14 pm
I didn’t see any histrionics after the K. Of course I was running to the fridge for a beer. But I think the notable thing about the K was that Carlos went down submarine style on the fastball to strike out the Pornmaster.
Shawon Dunston
on June 15, 2004 at 8:14 pm
and half my hits that year were doubles
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 8:16 pm
Offense on the way, with my 2nd homer! Or maybe I will try for the cycle!
Disco Stu
on June 15, 2004 at 8:16 pm
I was hoping he would pump his fist and talk some trash at Pornstache. Of course, if a pitcher did that to one of the Cubs, I would call for his head.
Hey Stu
on June 15, 2004 at 8:16 pm
I thought Z was less animated than he often is after strike outs. maybe something happened after they went to commercial.
Kaz Tadano
on June 15, 2004 at 8:17 pm
I’m pitching for the Indians against the Mets right now. I can’t wait to face Mike Piazza, it’ll be the clash of Japan’s finest gay porn actors!
Damian Miller
on June 15, 2004 at 8:18 pm
I hit a home run against the Cards today, just like Ramon!
Chippy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:18 pm
"Dent the dish"
Cop in the Astros Bullpen
on June 15, 2004 at 8:19 pm
I’m down here in case a drug dealer tries to kidnap Morgan Ensberg, again.
(end of obsequious Outside the Lines reference)
Pornstash Nesting Dolls
on June 15, 2004 at 8:19 pm
pick us up at the Astrobarn on Friday
The Beege
on June 15, 2004 at 8:19 pm
Chip, you can’t even dent my cup.
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:23 pm
Chip just sayed " 2 out double wasted in the…" it was a 1 out double.
Barrett
on June 15, 2004 at 8:23 pm
My double wasn’t with 2 outs. Chip is a moran. He’s so in love with 2 out magic, he pretends all hits occur with 2 outs.
Big Z
on June 15, 2004 at 8:23 pm
did you see that, Alou? 8 pitch at bat. try it sometime
Chip
on June 15, 2004 at 8:25 pm
Don’t forget every ball called a strike is taken right down the middle. Nobody ever hits the corners.
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 8:25 pm
Hey, I didn’t shank this one!
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 8:25 pm
hey, i caught one!
Moses Alou
on June 15, 2004 at 8:25 pm
Big Z, I pee on your hands next time. Cuts down on the number of swings.
And, don’t kill me.
Jimmy Anderson
on June 15, 2004 at 8:26 pm
Carlos,
Just get two more outs. I’ll take it from here.
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 8:26 pm
May I have a pizza from Desipio for my defensive prowess on that last catch?
"Sayed"
on June 15, 2004 at 8:27 pm
"Me fail English? That’s unpossible."
Wade Miller
on June 15, 2004 at 8:28 pm
I can work the count, too.
Jack Buck
on June 15, 2004 at 8:29 pm
Remember when I called this old Astro "Viz-kai-awn-oh"? I was awesome.
Cubs starting rotation
on June 15, 2004 at 8:29 pm
We miss Meat Tray.
Astros Announcer
on June 15, 2004 at 8:29 pm
"tough sledding for the hitters tonight"
Milo Hamilton
on June 15, 2004 at 8:30 pm
I miss not seeing Doggie in the lineup.
The Lawnmower
on June 15, 2004 at 8:31 pm
No Jimmy, Sit down. Didn’t your momma ever tell you that you’d get stomach aches relief pitching after eating a pizza you didn’t pay for last night?
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:31 pm
Did Chip just say that if the Astros hadn’t run into Atlanta in 1999 that they’d have won the World Series?
You mean the 103 win Braves who lost to the Yankees?
Or did he mean the 2001 Astros who got swept by the Braves (who didn’t even make it to the World Series?)
By the way, Gabor Bako hit the game winning homer in game three against Houston.
Chip needs to shaddup!
Shhhhhhhhhhhh
on June 15, 2004 at 8:32 pm
The Astros bats are sleeping. Just don’t make any sudden sounds.
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 8:33 pm
I have just as many homers as Jeff Kent.
Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 8:34 pm
what the hell did I just swing at?
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 8:34 pm
Oops
Andy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:34 pm
Has anyone ever run a bad joke into the ground more than Chip?
Steve: "The forecast is for showers tonight."
Chip: "And dark."
Steve: "Yeah, fair to partly dark."
Chip: "With some sun at 5:46 tomorrow morning or so."
Andy: "Let’s see if I can stick this pencil through both ears?"
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 8:34 pm
Can I just hit against R. Clettitte again?
Goody
on June 15, 2004 at 8:35 pm
I’m walking, bitch!
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 8:35 pm
I am half man, half deer. Let me show you and steal this base.
Pat Hughes
on June 15, 2004 at 8:36 pm
on this date in 1956, The Cubs traded Lou Brock to The St. Louis Cardinals.
That worked out pretty well didn’t it?
Alou
on June 15, 2004 at 8:36 pm
God, I’m annoying with this popping up
Alou
on June 15, 2004 at 8:36 pm
BRB, gotta take a piss.
Harry Teinowitz
on June 15, 2004 at 8:36 pm
I’d make you guys beg to have Chip back if I got the Cubs PBP job.
Goodwin
on June 15, 2004 at 8:37 pm
that was my second walk of the year
Headlights
on June 15, 2004 at 8:37 pm
Hey, Tom, don’t let your deer half look at us!
Jose Macias
on June 15, 2004 at 8:38 pm
Tom,
That’s two more walks than I’ve got.
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 8:38 pm
Hey, did I mention my home run yet?
E-Ramis
on June 15, 2004 at 8:39 pm
I just missed a ball thigh high in the middle of the plate. Just getting you guys ready for Sammy to come back.
Troy Aikman
on June 15, 2004 at 8:40 pm
I’m doing Acme Brick Co. commercials in Houston with a chimp, and I don’t mean Joe Buck
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:40 pm
We get the Ilinois season ticket commericial down here, and they have a season ticket holder speaking and he calls memorial stadium the most beautiful stadium in the US. God bless our Illini. When you struggle you struggle.
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:41 pm
Illinois. Where is spell checker on this?
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:42 pm
Commercial… god bless I quit.
Sammy
on June 15, 2004 at 8:42 pm
That’s right #116, buddy!
I stink! I’ll get you front row tickets to my Hall of Fame induction, buddy!
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 8:44 pm
Where’s Jimmy?
Short arms
on June 15, 2004 at 8:45 pm
Carlos short armed the grounder.
Goodwin short armed the throw.
Cubs offense
on June 15, 2004 at 8:45 pm
What, one isn’t enough?
Jimmy Anderson
on June 15, 2004 at 8:46 pm
should’ve brought me in
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 8:46 pm
Kidd, I unfortunately have had to join you in the indignity of having to watch some of those commercials here in East Central Illinois.
Sad, just sad…
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:48 pm
B.C., I have also went to a few spring practices… not looking much better for this coming year. Although, can it get any worse?
Steve Stone
on June 15, 2004 at 8:49 pm
"I think Lee is solely responsible for Aramis Ramirez only having three errors this year."
Solely? Aramis gets no credit?
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 8:49 pm
Lead. Gone.
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:53 pm
Zambrano is pissed.
Hey Steve
on June 15, 2004 at 8:54 pm
Was Lee responsible for that?
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 8:55 pm
Andy, is that what you mean by Aramis deserves some credit?
Cubs
on June 15, 2004 at 8:57 pm
We sure hate hanging curveballs.
Lee
on June 15, 2004 at 8:59 pm
I liked that one
Chip
on June 15, 2004 at 9:00 pm
It took me until the 7th inning to make a reference to picking up the check for Steve. Is that a record?
Barrett
on June 15, 2004 at 9:03 pm
We will not win tonight.
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 9:03 pm
Come on offense. We need a run to have another fun 15-inning bonanza.
Alou
on June 15, 2004 at 9:04 pm
Did I pop out on the first pitch at each at-bat tonight?
Desipio Scoreboard
on June 15, 2004 at 9:07 pm
Texas 4
Cincy 4
Bot 9th
Seattle 0
Brewers 3
Bot 8th
Oakland 4
St. Louis 3
Bot 6th
Update from Auburn Hills
on June 15, 2004 at 9:11 pm
Who the phuck cares.
The Other Carlos
on June 15, 2004 at 9:12 pm
Who’s the chick in the red tube top behind the plate? Can’t get my eyes off her yabos!
Cubs
on June 15, 2004 at 9:19 pm
Man, we suck that these coming back from a 1 run deficient games.
Macias
on June 15, 2004 at 9:22 pm
Oh God, here I come.
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 9:22 pm
Well, we still have six outs… Right?
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 9:27 pm
Yeah, the game is over.
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 9:27 pm
Um, three outs now.
Gamecasts
on June 15, 2004 at 9:30 pm
These things get as bad as Hawk & Wimpy whenever the Cubs fall behind.
Farny
on June 15, 2004 at 9:30 pm
just throwing some gas on the fire
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 9:34 pm
Farnsworth is in the game?
This one is over.
Farny
on June 15, 2004 at 9:35 pm
did I just work out of a jam?
observer
on June 15, 2004 at 9:35 pm
Farnsy must be impressing that red tube top lady.
CBS Sportsline
on June 15, 2004 at 9:36 pm
This is brought to you by Prilosec. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. One annoying ad.
B.C.
on June 15, 2004 at 9:36 pm
Well folks, I am done GameCasting for the evening.
Enjoy your night.
GO CUBS!!!
10 Second Delay
on June 15, 2004 at 9:36 pm
My God, BC…Is your satellite delay 5 minutes?
You posted that AFTER Biggio struck out.
Chippy
on June 15, 2004 at 9:40 pm
time for some of that no out magic
Perfume
on June 15, 2004 at 9:45 pm
Don’t stink up the place, Aramis.
Ramirez
on June 15, 2004 at 9:46 pm
Smell is sweet!
Extra Innings
on June 15, 2004 at 9:46 pm
anyone looking for me?
Vaunted Astros Closer
on June 15, 2004 at 9:47 pm
I can still get the win!
Korey
on June 15, 2004 at 9:48 pm
Oh, crap! Sosa’s back in two days. How the hell does Dusty bench Hollandsworth?
That means ME!
The Ramones
on June 15, 2004 at 9:52 pm
What I like about you…
(Yeah, I know it’s the Romantics, but still)
bullpen basher
on June 15, 2004 at 9:52 pm
I hope that Farnsworthless won’t be pitching the 9th. I’d hate to see him lose another one.
Chuck
on June 15, 2004 at 9:54 pm
Fuck yes!
Ramoan
on June 15, 2004 at 9:54 pm
I’m getting pizza tonight
Ramones
on June 15, 2004 at 9:55 pm
Ron Santo
on June 15, 2004 at 9:55 pm
Have an ambulance waiting outside for me just in case!
Chuck
on June 15, 2004 at 9:56 pm
Hell! I’ve lost nearly 30 lbs on low carb and I may order deep dish after this!
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 9:56 pm
Hells ya.
Mony
on June 15, 2004 at 9:56 pm
Show me the Mony? I guess he heard Grud was coming back and wants to stay somewhere in the lineup. What a game!
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 9:58 pm
Wow, tonight is my night!
Dreaming
on June 15, 2004 at 9:59 pm
Did we really come back? Is this real? I sleeping pretty good thanks to this dream. Please don’t wake me up.
Patterson
on June 15, 2004 at 10:00 pm
Rally killer
Bottom 9th
on June 15, 2004 at 10:00 pm
This is going to be nerve-wracking.
Matt Morris
on June 15, 2004 at 10:01 pm
I am doing an interview in the locker room while the game is still being played.
LaTroy
on June 15, 2004 at 10:02 pm
Nobody fucking talk to me!
Korey
on June 15, 2004 at 10:03 pm
What’s new with this one again? Runners left on base for Korey is skyrocketing. When Sammy comes back, this kid needs more then just one benchsitting lesson. Let’s make him sit there so long his ass hurts badly enough to go on the DL for a good while. Maybe get off the DL around the end of October.
LaTroy
on June 15, 2004 at 10:05 pm
Talk to the Ump’s raised right hand.
Berkman
on June 15, 2004 at 10:06 pm
3 Ks for me!
Gabor Bako
on June 15, 2004 at 10:06 pm
I can’t wait to play tomorrow. My ass really hurts from sitting on this bench. Korey and I were playing dickysticks on the bench. That is our favorite and secret game.
Dick Ensberg
on June 15, 2004 at 10:08 pm
My son has all the RBIs tonight.
bullpen basher
on June 15, 2004 at 10:08 pm
Hawkins is getting as bad as Sweaty Joe with this 9 inning drama syndrome.
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 10:08 pm
Huge game. Maddux going tomorrow.
HEE YOO JAH
on June 15, 2004 at 10:08 pm
Nuff said
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 10:09 pm
sit down bitches!
Gail
on June 15, 2004 at 10:10 pm
Akfan ;aweofj ads aweo;f aw;eoif awei
Yeah, I can talk.
9th inning Ralley Reveiw
on June 15, 2004 at 10:13 pm
Let’s see, was that Tom Goodwin that started that 9th inning ralley? Let’s see, was that Korey Patterson that killed the ralley in the 9th inning?
By no means am I saying Tom Goodwin is a superstar and should be our starting centerfielder. But you have Patterson in that spot in the 9th in a big game like this one tonight, and the Cubs simply don’t win. Need I say more.
Ramon
on June 15, 2004 at 10:15 pm
I expect a gift from Desipio!
#186 9th inning Ralley Review
on June 15, 2004 at 10:16 pm
I’m with you all the way. But you know when Sammy comes back, Hollandsworth won’t be in center. It will be Baker’s little bitch Korey.
Corey
on June 15, 2004 at 10:17 pm
Step off, at least I worked the damn count before whiffing.
Farnsworthless
on June 15, 2004 at 10:21 pm
One thing about winning tonight, Farnsworthless gets the win. Carlos pitched a descent game besides a couple bad walks, and a worthless, sorry ass bastard like that gets the credit for it. At least Kyle won’t be available tomorrow night. He’ll be out party and trying to hit on the ladies. I’m sure he will be puking in the dugout trying to recover from a hangover. WORTHLESS.
Hey 190
on June 15, 2004 at 10:24 pm
Quit acting like a Sux fan. This was a huge phucking win & you want to rip on Farnsworth.
I guess you thought you were being funny instead of making a dikk out of yourself.
Todd Walker
on June 15, 2004 at 10:30 pm
61% of people who actually vote in those Gail & Dave Otto polls like me over Grudzlfjsdlk…hahaha!
Kidd
on June 15, 2004 at 10:32 pm
Farnsworth has been pretty solid for awhile. Maybe I missed something.
the Houston Astros
on June 15, 2004 at 10:41 pm
Hello 5th place! Well, we can’t get down on ourselves, gotta keep looking up. Oh, speaking of looking up, there’s the Brewers!
E-Ramis
on June 16, 2004 at 1:38 am
WTF? Who disses him? The E-Ramis thing at this point is an affectionate nickname. I don’t know any Cub fan who doesn’t think he’s fck yeah awesome. Lay off the crack pipe, smokey.
Hmmmm
on June 16, 2004 at 12:52 pm
You all fail to overlook who TIED the game for us…ARAMIS
And who made that great catch that ended the inning which kept us close to within 1….ARAMIS
Fu*k all of you who diss him…you dont know sh*t
I KEEP TELLING YOU, DOLAN!!!! DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A F**KEN’ NORTH SHORE LANDSCAPER WITH THAT MORANIC NICKNAME!!!!
This is the REAL ME!!!
![]("http://www.providencebruins.com/images/zamboni.jpg"/)
Yes sir, I’ve lost my lawnmower can you help me find it?
Sorry, Carlos, but Toro don’t make no Zambonis.
Come on, Goodwin, I could’ve grounded out on the first pitch, too.
I had to swing at the first pitch. I didn’t want you to forget Corey.
Good start.
Cubs
Todd Walker, 2b
Tom Goodwin, cf
Moises Alou, lf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Todd Hollandsworth, rf
Derrek Lee, 1b
Michael Barrett, c
Ramon Martinez, ss
The Zamboni? Nah, The Lawnmower, p
Astros
The Beege, cf
Jose Vizcaino, ss (he’s still alive?)
Fat Lance, lf
Jeff Pornstache, 2b
Rex Morgan Ensberg, MD, 3b
Orlando Palmeiro (and Dawn), rf
Jason Lane, 1b
Brad Ausmus, c
Wade Miller, p
I’m skurred of the Lawnmower
"You might recall that Biggio had hits in his last two at bats last night."
Uhhh…no, because we don’t care, Chippy.
I will mow down Jeff Ragweed if he comes up to bat against me tonight!
Ragwell?
Bagwell?
Whatever!
According to Chip and Steve, they ought to call ME the Genius…but I have no idea why I’m supposedly so smart.
I love you Beege. I know you got that double for me.
2 out
3 out – sit down pornstash!
I’ll go tend my little center field mountain.
IT’S GETTING BREEZY IN HERE!
I LET BEEGE GET A HIT JUST TO TEASE YOU ALL! THAT’S ALL YOU GET TONIGHT! I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!
Now, I go shout in my glove for a few minutes.
Sit down and go back to your cornlicking videos.
It’s my Birthday!!
I can’t wait for Rodger to give me my present tonight…
Hey L. Clettitte, it’s my birthday too, dude.
I don’t need no Rodgering, if you know what I mean.
What the hell was I talking about when I said tomorrow is "a battle of the hitting coaches?"
Then, Fox lost sound for 20 blissful seconds.
Sorry to break this to you, Chip. I jammed my neck on The Beege.
we own all the box seats behind the screen
I will be making my rehab start in class A. I requested any ballpark where they don’t have dividers between the shower stalls.
Let’s see if I can keep my scrub hot streak going here.
Cortizone shots for me, yay!
I AM CUB SCRUB OF THE MOMENT!
Did Chip say, "Ramon has done it again?"
Then say, "That’s his first home run of the season?"
WTF?
There’s your run Lawnmower
I knew i could do it. I’m not Bako and I proved with that shot. That’s dedicated to my grandfather and uncle.
Take a picture Cub fans, it’s the only time i’ll do this all year!
What did I do again?
i hit one first, Bako buys dinner
I’m the new Mets hitting coach
Why are we having some big team meeting?
my fagile psyche is hurt by Martinez hitting that homer off me
Uh oh!
Uh oh!
Don’t you love how concerned Chip is for other team’s players? Screw that, I hope that arm falls off.
Wheee, hitting is fun!
is it hot in here or is it me?
This Just in….
I’m on a hot streak
I meant to ground out on that first pitch, whoops
I’m at 58 pitches. the Cubs don’t try to run up counts, do they?
Is Korey playing this evening?
Obviously, I’m the pinch-hitting secret weapon later
Andy, you forgot to mention my averseness to saying the word "damn".
Damn is not a very Christian word. I’m a role model!
OK Honey,Get a hit (clap clap clap)
I’m catching that.
i’m looking to sabatoge this game any way i can
Is Chip the only guy in the world who says the word "bopper?"
I own your ass, pornstash! SIT DOWN!!
How’d you like the Carlos "Kent Tekulve" fastball? Wicked.
Sit down, Pornstache.
99 mph
I thought we could pull off the bases loaded, 1 out trick
I also have used the word "feted" tonight.
holy shit
yea, but I was only 79
The Cubs are huge fans
Nolan Ryan:
Angels-#30
Astros-#34
Rangers-#34
I’m disqualifying myself from the Aflac question because I think I know the answer. Of course, I did that Sunday in Anaheim and I was completely fucking wrong.
God, am I a tool.
Don’t even let me catch my breath, you morans!
Last Cubs NL batting champ
I might need a nap
Me in 1980.
Think they’ll bring up the ground ball and Steve Bartman?
Astros like me too
And a haircut.
I am listening to the game on the radio, so someone tell me what Zambrano did after he struck out Jeff Pornstache.
I hit .400 in 1993. You can look it up.
only ESPN still brings me up
#67, he just pointed to the sky like he does everytime he walks off the field.
"Corky Cox is quite the woman
Pat: I believe you are refering to COURTNEY Cox
Ron: Ooohhhhhhh
I didn’t see any histrionics after the K. Of course I was running to the fridge for a beer. But I think the notable thing about the K was that Carlos went down submarine style on the fastball to strike out the Pornmaster.
and half my hits that year were doubles
Offense on the way, with my 2nd homer! Or maybe I will try for the cycle!
I was hoping he would pump his fist and talk some trash at Pornstache. Of course, if a pitcher did that to one of the Cubs, I would call for his head.
I thought Z was less animated than he often is after strike outs. maybe something happened after they went to commercial.
I’m pitching for the Indians against the Mets right now. I can’t wait to face Mike Piazza, it’ll be the clash of Japan’s finest gay porn actors!
I hit a home run against the Cards today, just like Ramon!
"Dent the dish"
I’m down here in case a drug dealer tries to kidnap Morgan Ensberg, again.
(end of obsequious Outside the Lines reference)
pick us up at the Astrobarn on Friday
Chip, you can’t even dent my cup.
Chip just sayed " 2 out double wasted in the…" it was a 1 out double.
My double wasn’t with 2 outs. Chip is a moran. He’s so in love with 2 out magic, he pretends all hits occur with 2 outs.
did you see that, Alou? 8 pitch at bat. try it sometime
Don’t forget every ball called a strike is taken right down the middle. Nobody ever hits the corners.
Hey, I didn’t shank this one!
hey, i caught one!
Big Z, I pee on your hands next time. Cuts down on the number of swings.
And, don’t kill me.
Carlos,
Just get two more outs. I’ll take it from here.
May I have a pizza from Desipio for my defensive prowess on that last catch?
"Me fail English? That’s unpossible."
I can work the count, too.
Remember when I called this old Astro "Viz-kai-awn-oh"? I was awesome.
We miss Meat Tray.
"tough sledding for the hitters tonight"
I miss not seeing Doggie in the lineup.
No Jimmy, Sit down. Didn’t your momma ever tell you that you’d get stomach aches relief pitching after eating a pizza you didn’t pay for last night?
Did Chip just say that if the Astros hadn’t run into Atlanta in 1999 that they’d have won the World Series?
You mean the 103 win Braves who lost to the Yankees?
Or did he mean the 2001 Astros who got swept by the Braves (who didn’t even make it to the World Series?)
By the way, Gabor Bako hit the game winning homer in game three against Houston.
Chip needs to shaddup!
The Astros bats are sleeping. Just don’t make any sudden sounds.
I have just as many homers as Jeff Kent.
what the hell did I just swing at?
Oops
Has anyone ever run a bad joke into the ground more than Chip?
Steve: "The forecast is for showers tonight."
Chip: "And dark."
Steve: "Yeah, fair to partly dark."
Chip: "With some sun at 5:46 tomorrow morning or so."
Andy: "Let’s see if I can stick this pencil through both ears?"
Can I just hit against R. Clettitte again?
I’m walking, bitch!
I am half man, half deer. Let me show you and steal this base.
on this date in 1956, The Cubs traded Lou Brock to The St. Louis Cardinals.
That worked out pretty well didn’t it?
God, I’m annoying with this popping up
BRB, gotta take a piss.
I’d make you guys beg to have Chip back if I got the Cubs PBP job.
that was my second walk of the year
Hey, Tom, don’t let your deer half look at us!
Tom,
That’s two more walks than I’ve got.
Hey, did I mention my home run yet?
I just missed a ball thigh high in the middle of the plate. Just getting you guys ready for Sammy to come back.
I’m doing Acme Brick Co. commercials in Houston with a chimp, and I don’t mean Joe Buck
We get the Ilinois season ticket commericial down here, and they have a season ticket holder speaking and he calls memorial stadium the most beautiful stadium in the US. God bless our Illini. When you struggle you struggle.
Illinois. Where is spell checker on this?
Commercial… god bless I quit.
That’s right #116, buddy!
I stink! I’ll get you front row tickets to my Hall of Fame induction, buddy!
Where’s Jimmy?
Carlos short armed the grounder.
Goodwin short armed the throw.
What, one isn’t enough?
should’ve brought me in
Kidd, I unfortunately have had to join you in the indignity of having to watch some of those commercials here in East Central Illinois.
Sad, just sad…
B.C., I have also went to a few spring practices… not looking much better for this coming year. Although, can it get any worse?
"I think Lee is solely responsible for Aramis Ramirez only having three errors this year."
Solely? Aramis gets no credit?
Lead. Gone.
Zambrano is pissed.
Was Lee responsible for that?
Andy, is that what you mean by Aramis deserves some credit?
We sure hate hanging curveballs.
I liked that one
It took me until the 7th inning to make a reference to picking up the check for Steve. Is that a record?
We will not win tonight.
Come on offense. We need a run to have another fun 15-inning bonanza.
Did I pop out on the first pitch at each at-bat tonight?
Texas 4
Cincy 4
Bot 9th
Seattle 0
Brewers 3
Bot 8th
Oakland 4
St. Louis 3
Bot 6th
Who the phuck cares.
Who’s the chick in the red tube top behind the plate? Can’t get my eyes off her yabos!
Man, we suck that these coming back from a 1 run deficient games.
Oh God, here I come.
Well, we still have six outs… Right?
Yeah, the game is over.
Um, three outs now.
These things get as bad as Hawk & Wimpy whenever the Cubs fall behind.
just throwing some gas on the fire
Farnsworth is in the game?
This one is over.
did I just work out of a jam?
Farnsy must be impressing that red tube top lady.
This is brought to you by Prilosec. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. One annoying ad.
Well folks, I am done GameCasting for the evening.
Enjoy your night.
GO CUBS!!!
My God, BC…Is your satellite delay 5 minutes?
You posted that AFTER Biggio struck out.
time for some of that no out magic
Don’t stink up the place, Aramis.
Smell is sweet!
anyone looking for me?
I can still get the win!
Oh, crap! Sosa’s back in two days. How the hell does Dusty bench Hollandsworth?
That means ME!
What I like about you…
(Yeah, I know it’s the Romantics, but still)
I hope that Farnsworthless won’t be pitching the 9th. I’d hate to see him lose another one.
Fuck yes!
I’m getting pizza tonight
Have an ambulance waiting outside for me just in case!
Hell! I’ve lost nearly 30 lbs on low carb and I may order deep dish after this!
Hells ya.
Show me the Mony? I guess he heard Grud was coming back and wants to stay somewhere in the lineup. What a game!
Wow, tonight is my night!
Did we really come back? Is this real? I sleeping pretty good thanks to this dream. Please don’t wake me up.
Rally killer
This is going to be nerve-wracking.
I am doing an interview in the locker room while the game is still being played.
Nobody fucking talk to me!
What’s new with this one again? Runners left on base for Korey is skyrocketing. When Sammy comes back, this kid needs more then just one benchsitting lesson. Let’s make him sit there so long his ass hurts badly enough to go on the DL for a good while. Maybe get off the DL around the end of October.
Talk to the Ump’s raised right hand.
3 Ks for me!
I can’t wait to play tomorrow. My ass really hurts from sitting on this bench. Korey and I were playing dickysticks on the bench. That is our favorite and secret game.
My son has all the RBIs tonight.
Hawkins is getting as bad as Sweaty Joe with this 9 inning drama syndrome.
Huge game. Maddux going tomorrow.
Nuff said
sit down bitches!
Akfan ;aweofj ads aweo;f aw;eoif awei
Yeah, I can talk.
Let’s see, was that Tom Goodwin that started that 9th inning ralley? Let’s see, was that Korey Patterson that killed the ralley in the 9th inning?
By no means am I saying Tom Goodwin is a superstar and should be our starting centerfielder. But you have Patterson in that spot in the 9th in a big game like this one tonight, and the Cubs simply don’t win. Need I say more.
I expect a gift from Desipio!
I’m with you all the way. But you know when Sammy comes back, Hollandsworth won’t be in center. It will be Baker’s little bitch Korey.
Step off, at least I worked the damn count before whiffing.
One thing about winning tonight, Farnsworthless gets the win. Carlos pitched a descent game besides a couple bad walks, and a worthless, sorry ass bastard like that gets the credit for it. At least Kyle won’t be available tomorrow night. He’ll be out party and trying to hit on the ladies. I’m sure he will be puking in the dugout trying to recover from a hangover. WORTHLESS.
Quit acting like a Sux fan. This was a huge phucking win & you want to rip on Farnsworth.
I guess you thought you were being funny instead of making a dikk out of yourself.
61% of people who actually vote in those Gail & Dave Otto polls like me over Grudzlfjsdlk…hahaha!
Farnsworth has been pretty solid for awhile. Maybe I missed something.
Hello 5th place! Well, we can’t get down on ourselves, gotta keep looking up. Oh, speaking of looking up, there’s the Brewers!
WTF? Who disses him? The E-Ramis thing at this point is an affectionate nickname. I don’t know any Cub fan who doesn’t think he’s fck yeah awesome. Lay off the crack pipe, smokey.
You all fail to overlook who TIED the game for us…ARAMIS
And who made that great catch that ended the inning which kept us close to within 1….ARAMIS
Fu*k all of you who diss him…you dont know sh*t
U wanna join me f*cker??? ;0)