Part two of our preseason preview extravaganza takes us to the outfield, where the Cubs have decided that if you don’t weigh 220 pounds or more you have no business out there.1
People are worried about the outfield defense, since the current outfield assemblage includes a catcher, a Cuban who chases flyballs like he’s still on the raft, one of the lowest rated defensive centerfielders in the game, a punt returner and Jason Heyward, the best defensive right fielder on the planet. Â They’ll drive in four times the runs they allow, so who cares?
I will admit that as the offseason started I was cautioning the Cubs to not “pay a good player like a great one and expect him to become great” and I was referring to Jason Heyward. Â Then they went out and signed him to an eight year, $184 million contact and I threw up my pom poms and cheered them on. Â I was windsocking it so hard, I was basically becoming Dave Kaplan.
But in reality, the Cubs signed Heyward to a three year contract with an option, and then a four year option after that. Â The contract could be a short as three years and $65 million, or four years and $88 million if he exercises none or only one of the first two options. Â Given that he’s only 26, he could well be looking at hitting free agency again at 30 to cash in again. Â Suddenly that deal doesn’t seem so onerous.
Plus, dopes like me were selling Heyward’s value short by only looking at his baseball card numbers. Â Sure he hit “only” .293 with 13 homers and 60 RBI. Â He hasn’t driven in more than 60 runs in a season since 2012. Â Well, you can shove your RBI up your bung.
Heyward’s the rare young free agent who impacts the game in every phase. Â He’s a productive offensive player, he’s a great defensive player, he’s an excellent baserunner. Â He’s basically been a 6 WAR player for the bulk of his career. Â That’s awfully good.
So when radio dummies like Casey Stern lament (as Casey did every day from the day Heyward signed until the day Dexter re-signed with the Cubs) that “there’s no way Jason Heyward is worth $180 million and Dexter Fowler isn’t worth $15 million,” they’re just wrong.
And the Cubs said “fuck it” and signed them both, anyway.
For half a season last year, Dexter wasn’t all that good.  He hit .232/.308/.369/.677.  It was the kind of performance that if continued, would cost Theo Epstein his job.  You don’t trade Luis Valbuena for that.Â
Luckily for Theo, Dexter kicked it into another gear in the second half and hit .272/.389/.463/.852, and the Cubs took off and snagged a playoff spot. Â Dexter homered in the Wild Card game and in the big game three NLDS win over the Cardinals.
But when the offseason started and the Cubs signed Heyward, it looked like Dexter’s Cubs days were over. Â The Cubs would put Heyward in center, where he would be a defensive upgrade over Dexter, and flank him with Jorge Soler and Kyle Schwarber.
Dexter had turned down the Cubs $15.8 million qualifying offer and had a draft pick attached to him, and suddenly nobody wanted him. Â That made no sense, but until the Orioles finally made him a decent offer, Dexter was left to wander the offseason like Caine. Â News broke that the Orioles had signed him and it seemed like a decent fit. Â He’d play right field next to Adam Jones.
Then, the next day, the Cubs early morning stretch grabassedry was interrupted by the arrival of Theo and Jed and some tall familiar looking guy. Â Fowler passed on the O’s offer and signed a one year deal with the Cubs with an option for next year. Â Theo was getting the band back together. Â And suddenly, the NL’s deepest team was just that much deeper.
If second half Dexter shows up all season, by my math, the Cubs should score about 28,000 runs this season.
I think we can all agree that the division series matchup with the Cardinals was the thing we’d been waiting for…forever. Â A playoff series against those inbred scumbags. Â No matter what else Jorge Soler did last year, he did this against the Cardinals:
.571/.769/1.571/.2.341 with two homers, four RBI and six walks.
Is a 2.341 OPS good?
I think that’s good.
At one point he reached base nine straight times in the playoffs.
Fuckin’ A, Jorge.
He destroyed the Cardinals.  Oh, and he made the biggest defensive play of the Cubs postseason when he did this:
And so, we give him a pass on what was for the most part an underwhelming regular season. Â We also forgive him for dressing for cold weather games like Randy from A Christmas Story. Â I’m not sure we can forgive him for wearing a tow chain around his neck while he plays, though.
Sixty-nine games. Â Nice.
That’s all Schwarber played last year for the Cubs, just 69 games. Â He didn’t even make his debut until June 16, he didn’t come back to stay on the roster until July 17 and he didn’t become the team’s leftfielder until August 7. Â So screw anybody who was complaining about his defense in one NLCS game. Â The fact that he learned it on the fly, while hitting 16 homers in two months should be enough.
Did you know that Schwarber is the Cubs all-time leader in postseason homers with five? Â That’s both impressive and depressing at the same time.
Schwarber’s unique skillset will allow him to play left on most days, catch once a week (probably for Jason Hammel) and bash pitching all spring, summer and fall. Â He really is the coolest.
Here’s a guy who made his big league debut almost exactly one year after he signed his first professional contract and played a huge role in a pennant race and the playoffs.
So Kyle, what are your expectations for the upcoming season?
KYLE GOING TO PLAY SOME GAMES IN LEFTOUT FIELD, AND SOME CATCHING ONE OF THE THROW MEN. Â KYLE PROBABLY WILL CATCH THE THROW MAN WHO JOE DOES THE SECOND INNING MOUND VISITS FOR WHERE THEY YELL AT EACH OTHER AND THE THROW MAN GETS MAD AND HAS TO TAKE A SHOWER. Â AT HOME BASE KYLE JUST TRYING TO HIT BASEBALLS AS FAR AS KYLE CAN. Â SOME GET WET, SOME HIT BIG TVS AND SOME LAND ON TOP OF BIG TVS. Â WHATEVER IT TAKES.
Let’s face it. Â Matt Szczur made the opening day roster because Javy Baez hurt his thumb and the Cubs decided that Ben Zobrist (and maybe even Kris Bryant) would give them emergency shortstop coverage if something happened to Addison Russell during a game.
So instead of keeping Mueniori Kawasaki and going with only four outfielders they kept Szczur.  Oh, and because Szczur is out of options they didn’t have to risk losing him by waiving him at the end of spring training (when they almost certainly would have lost him) instead they can delay that until April 9 when Javy can come off of the DL.
By then, Jorge will have pulled something and there will be a roster spot for Matt anyway.
Got all of that?
Szczur’s value comes in his defensive ability and baserunning, which should come in handy on Joe’s very short bench. Â Besides, somebody has to keep Tommy LaStella busy otherwise he’d just destroy apples all game long.
