Pitching matchup:
Cubs: Greg Maddux 6-5, 3.91 ERA
Cardinals: Jason Marquis 6-4, 4.26 ERA
Lineups
Cubs:
Mark Grudzielanek, 2b
Ramon Martinez, ss
Moises Alou, lf
Sammy Sosa, rf
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Derrek Lee, 1b
Corey Patterson, cf
Gabor Bako, c
Greg Maddux, p
St. Louis
Tony Womack, 2b
Edgar Renteria, ss
Albie Pujols, Sr., 1b
Scott Rolen, 3b
John Mabry, lf
Reggie Sanders, rf
Ray Lankford, cf (no Lassie?)
Yadier Molina, c
Jason Marquis, p
Don’t forget that we have expansion draft coverage, too, tonight!
Dusty,
By not starting us, you just presented your team’s death wish to the Red Satanic Fowl. Bako and Patterson can eat a (edited) for all I care. Or they can sit on the bench tonight and play with each other’s (edited).
Andy’s note: For chrissakes, at least be clever about it.
I know why Edmonds isn’t starting. It’s not funny! It happened to me this past season. With Oscar! Remember?
"Good evening everybody, Chicago Cubs baseball in on the air!"
"Let’s get ready for an all you can eat redbird feast!"
Chip must have forgotten to pack the red polo.
"Pat, I could never agree more. By the way, I didn’t eat dinner tonight, could I have some of that redbird please?"
Please sit on the bench with Patterson and play with each other’s toothpicks. You could save about 6 at-bats without a hit.
We better have some serious Grud going on tonight!
Sorry I won’t be in the lineup tonight. I decided to go across the river and play with my friendly neighborhood animals if you know what I mean?
Jim Edmonds has a groin problem. Dog bite?
If I were a pitcher I’d drill me
Anybody want to take odds on Maddux hitting better than Gabor tonight. You would think that Gabor could eventually outhit a pitcher. Oh, I forgot that Big Play Rey Ordonez can’t even hit better than Gabor. Gabor-Rey connection could be a great duo in some switch-hitting club.
Do we pay people to iron our uniforms?
The Cubs could let Bako stand in the lefty’s batter’s box and Ordonez in the right one and combined they’d struggle to get a hit.
Hey, I’m in there for my imaginary defense!
Screw you, Stone. I’m having an All-Star season and Adam Wainright’s out for the season. Nitwit.
Who had 7:15 in the "Chip will say Albie’s a gold glove first baseman?"
Every freakin’ game. It’s like he’s got a string hanging out of his back and Steve just pulls it for him.
Actually, I’ll bet the last six words of that are right most nights.
it took Chip 2 batters to talk about Pujols’ stellar defense
If you had me in the "Albert Pujols will be a Gold Glover" pool, you are a winner.
Dreaming of a threesome of me, Albert and Beege
Chip says, "We’ve seen enough of the Molinas"…yeah, but they all suck.
Moises walks and the first base ump rings him up on a bad call.
Chip is quick to point out that Moises will be fined for throwing his shin guard. Because Chip is the snot nosed geek who always had to remind the teacher when she forgot to give homework on a Friday.
Umpire says to Moises, "Bend over, grab your ankles, and you know the rest."
Oh no! Womack’s on first base! Eek!
I was on the DL when the Cubs were in Anaheim.
Didn’t Ricky Ricardo used to sing about me?
It would be nice if we could ever get a 1,2,3 inning. I guess God only grants so many miricles a day.
I caught for the Angels when the Cubs where in town
Didn’t Ricky Ricardo used to sing about me?
We’re usually scary
I’m sharp tonight! Whoo!
You won’t win this game by letting Womack and Renteria get on. You might as well put a 3 spot up on the board after facing Albie. If he doesn’t get you, Rolen will.
Steve said that Albie has struck out 20 times in 245 at bats. Chip said, "That’s old school slugging."
What the hell does that mean? Babe Ruth never struck out?
I get more face time then Maddux
I’m old school.
Hell, I’m just old.
I wish he would pronounce Greggie’s last name right. It’s Maddux, not Maddox.
I just love listening to our announcers fawn over the Cardinals. That never gets old.
Hey #34, I’m drunk. You expect me to pronounce things, too?
I guess that doesn’t exist if you are the Cubs. Once again, God only grants so many miricles.
Greg: "How’s my stuff?"
Gabor: "I don’t know. I haven’t caught one yet."
I guess having Bako back there really does help your pitching. Yeah, it helps you really suck at pitching.
I only grand so many miracles, too.
anyone wanna help me out?
Why can’t a ball nail Bako right in the groin, crack his cup, and lay him up for the rest of the year?
Come who’s first in line?
You’re starting to give Dusty a heartattack. He doesn’t want to overwork the bullpen this early in the game. Or in this series for that matter.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Can anyone say, "DAYOFF DOOM?"
Bullpen get ready. When Wood gets over his snatch cramps, I believe you’ll have a new face down there. Everybody welcome Greggie! What a new addition! Someone who could come out of the pen and throw strikes.
14 starts, 53 batters faced, .283 batting average, .769 OPS. Seven runs allowed. (Now 10).
His stats don’t change much inning to inning. It just feels like it.
There goes the no-hitter.
Good news. I’m worse in the 2nd inning than the first. And the third inning is my worst. So, as Andy would say, that’s… something.
I know Lankford is old, but is it fair that he gets to use this in center?
Lankford’s Rascal has a headlight, but the visibility on that thing really isn’t that great.
Excuse me while I tie this up.
Then Gabor can put us ahead.
Don’t worry Card fans, I’ll help you guys out here.
Craig Biggio’s range in center or Ray Lankford’s?
OK, fine, but it’s 3-1!
I was worried that Albie would run way over and get that and turn the triple play with one out! Steve and Chip told me he’s a stud over there at first.
I can’t believe these two stoggies even made contact. Much less that we actually got a run at that grim part of the order.
I’m watching the Cards TV feed and instead of showing the game, they are interviewing Ray King from the bullpen. "Great insight" by Ray!!!!
At this pace so far, this will be a softball score. Please Greg, I just had a church league game last night. It was a highscoring affair too.
Screw you Rolen! I want that gold glove!
Could you understand me through the cheeseburger?
Once again with Korey & Gabor in the lineup, we have the pitcher leading off an inning. Watch and see how many times that happens tonight! It’s not the 1st time this year and it won’t be the last with this pathedic duo.
On NBA TV right now they are showing the 1986 Draft. Perhaps the most hilarious draft of all time.
The Bulls just took Brad Sellers and got booed. John Thompson didn’t think they’d take Johnny Dawkins, he thought that the Bulls would take Pearl Washington.
Pearl Washington!?!
My favorite part of this was right after the Mavericks took Roy Tarpley, Peter Vecsey reported that the Lakers and Dallas had a trade to send James Worthy and Byron Scott to the Mavs for Tarpley and Mark Aguirre. Not only was Vecsey wrong, but he looked like he hadn’t combed his hair in about three weeks.
Great stuff.
Hey! Stop lumping me in with Gabor. Or maybe you don’t get cable? I’m useful now.
Chip, about Ramon: "Renteria got him to ground out the last time up."
Huh? The shorstop got a guy to ground out? Is that legal?
Best comment ever spoken by Joe Buck! "Ray, you’re in great shape!"
Clean your glasses, Joe!!! HE’S FAT!
One of the biggest series of the year, and you have three of our hottest hitters on the bench-Barrett, Hollandsworth, and Walker. You sitting these guys is equal to worthless Lassie sitting on the bench on the other side. SAD,SAD,SAD,SAD,SAD,SAD,SAD,SAD
Spurs just took Johnny Dawkins. Listed at 6’2, 165. He was what, 5’11, 150? Gee, no wonder he had such a stellar NBA career.
The score is 3-1, right? Chip just said, "Three Cardinals runs in the first and that’s the difference in the game."
Uh…no. The difference is two runs, not three.
I’m settling in until Rolen takes me deep.
Nice sequence, even if Steve made it up.
Maddux gets ahead 0-2 on Pujols. He throws one in the dirt and Pujols demands the ball be thrown out of play. Maddux then throws one under Pujols’ chin. He then gets Albie to ground out weakly to Ramon.
Or did Ramon get him to ground out? Now, I’m confused.
Is it just me, or every time that the Cardinals have beaten the Cubs this year it goes this way. They get a few early and then the Cubs get almost enough and lose by one?
Maybe that’s me. Hopefully three wasn’t enough.
Fer chrissakes, it’s Jason F. Marquis.
I wish I could catch myself along with pitching. I’m that athletic. Sorry Gabor, not eveyrbody can be unathletic as yourself.
I said "boppers" again. How old am I? 70?
Detroit takes…John Salley!
How can you be 7’0 and athletic and only average 13 points and six boards as a senior at Ga Tech?
I piss on you Marquis
Rip and Ben Wallace said no. How long before Eddy Curry’s fat ass and Kirk Hinrich are playing?
Suck on that, first base ump!
3-2.
The hell with Eddy and Kirk, how long before I get asked to play on the Olympic team?
Give me a call, Larry.
Note to pitchers-
I don’t swing at the outside curveball anymore, buddy
The AFLAC question is how many homers did Ken and Ken Jr. Griffey hit (right? Or is it just how many did Senior hit?) Anyway, Steve guessed that combined the Griffey’s have 600 homers. Chip said that would make them the most prolific father/son combo ever.
Barry Bonds has what 673 homers? Did his dad hit negative 74?
How do you like my new "bounce pitch?" You can’t hit it!
DK 57!
"I’d love to see Derrek Lee unload right over the Cubs bullpen!"
Chip,
Come on over to the hotel. I’ll unload in the hall.
Even when I do it right it’s wrong.
I no let line drive get through, buddy!
Sorry, buddy!
See! I told you he sucked! He hit into a double play! I’m so smart! Yay, me!
I hate when Chip does his "seven up, seven down for Maddux." That’s wrong. You can say he’s retired the last seven. But it’s been 14 up, nine down. Not seven up, seven down.
On the replay, you could see Reggie Sanders call the umpire "baby."
I don’t want to know.
Nobody puts baby in the corner, Reggie.
I’m glad Sammy caught that, I hit the ball and couldn’t remember where I parked this…
Thanks for baking me, Basher! I’m 1 for my last 10 and have 6 RBI for the month. I need the support.
I don’t know how long I can keep tricking everyone into thinking I’m playing better.
I love it when Steve brags about Don Baylor’s ability as a hitting coach. Yeah, he was really great.
Oh, and by the way, keep bashing me numbnuts. Yeah, I’m terrible.
(Said as I made a diving catch to end the fourth.)
Hey, we love Holly, but if you put him in the outfield between Alou and Sosa, we all quit.
Dusty does his new Chevy commercials from a rooftop across Waveland. Amazing how quickly the Tribune company embraced the rooftop owners. All it took was one big freakin’ check.
So long as you keep oversliding bases and getting picked off and are unable to throw and swing at high strikes….
We’ll be on your arse.
The new stadium project is just part of our effort to revitalize downtown. Also coming to downtown, paved streets, electricity, and indoor plumbing!
Since Dusty likes to mess with the lineup, would this have been so bad tonight?
Gruddy, 2b
Maddux, p
Alou, lf
Sosa, rf
E-ramis, 3b
Lee, 1b
Patterson, cf
Martinez, ss
Gabor, c
???
Andy, that’s all it ever takes. Murph had Arne Harris on the Evening Show years back. Arne said that he was never told not to shoot the rooftops, but he decided not to.
"Why?" said Murph.
"Because they compete with us for customers," said Arne.
Did you notice that Chip said, "Aramis has had a better year defensively than Rolen. He’s made one fewer error."?
I love E-ramis, but as much as he’s improved this year, he’s still not in the same league with the St. Louis Mongoloid. Sorry.
Is it just me, or do the Cubs not strike out nearly as much as they did…even three weeks ago?
It means more double plays, but it has to be the main reason the offense has done so much better overall.
Perhaps I’m just loopy.
It’s possible.
"Perhaps"?
You have to ask?
When did Maddux’s arse get so dumpy?
Thanks, Chuck. You’re all heart.
Did I just hear Chip call out Mariotti? Wow, who to root for? That’s like the Iran-Iraq war.
I used to be all torso, but Atkins and 6 months and 30 pounds have vanished.
"Out of play foul"?
But fielded by Rolen just foul. I thought out of play meant, you know, out of the field of play….
Wow, I have even less range than Walker. Ouch.
Chip explained the Rolen trade by saying, "The Phillies didn’t want to lose Rolen after the season for nothing." Instead they traded him for nothing. Nice move.
The Pirates didn’t want to lose me for nothing. So they traded me for nothing, too. Nice trend.
What steve?! You don’t want to talk about the 69! awwww…
I hope June never ends.
3-3.
Tie Game
Have I ever hit a ball hard? Once? Ever?
Gruddy’s got just enough range.
Apparently.
Marquis batting in the 7th = Woody Williams relieving last year?
Who needs a pinch hitter?
Has anyone noticed that I’m saying "Shhheeeeeiiiiitttt!" on Sportsline?
Not only will I not block the plate, I can’t catch the ball.
I smell a new level coming up on my meter.
What exactly does Gabor do that keeps him in the big leagues? I’m serious.
He can’t hit, at all. He’s a lousy catcher. What else is there?
I make friends with old farts like Maddux.
Am I gonna have to drop Bako just like I did Lenny Harris to get Dusty to stop playing him.
I better be on God Awful tomorrow.
Hey, Jack McKeon still puts me at leadoff sometimes, just like Dusty did when I sucked for the Cubs. You’d think those managers would learn that I suck ass at hitting, and I’m a fat old guy.
My meter has a new level!
I’m at an all-time low!
Whoo!
You cut me, Hendry and I’ll come back to haunt you! Muahahahahaha!
Oh, wait. I can’t. I suck.
Gee..I’m only 42..I could drop that throw, for half of the Bako Bucks….
Izzy’s a shit box.
Excellent!
Just call me Gabor.
Go Cubs!!!
Just like I taught the great receiver Mike Matheny.
Late inning magic… e-mazing
I think this thing needs a new battery. By the way, nice catch, Matheny. You Bako, you.
Bako, I just saved your ass.
Should I had sent Sammy?
Give him credit, Sammy can still scoot.
And he doesn’t need the Rascal.
Hold onto your butts. This could get interesting.
Take that, beyotch.
Nice bat flip, you ingrate.
Did my "stand still as the ball came out to center" scare anybody else?
Chip’s optimism is very encouraging.
"If the Cubs win, they can’t leave St. Louis any more than three back."
Oh, shaddup.
OK, the 4 year old’s in bed. Anything happen that I missed?
I love Busch Stadium! Leave me in for the ninth! I own them!
OK, fine. I’m done. But hey, give some credit, I was dealing tonight.
You’re welcome.
1-2-3 in St. Louis?
What?
Let me finish this myself, I’m ON tonite!
1 2 3 (and my critics said I couldnt count to that)
What the hell kind of name is Moheen?
Wouldn’t you like to know. My bruthah!
Gravely voice, dudes! How da ya’ like dem apples!
Should I get my first walk of the year?
My bruthah? You meen, "Me droogie."
How many Google cliks are needed for a Java chat room that scrolls instead of hiting F5 all the time?
And how about a thermometer to show our progress towards that goal?
I’m so smart! I went with Ray King to leave Hollandsworth and Walker on the bench, but I caved when Barrett came up. Damnit, where do the Cubs get all these hitters?
"you know Corey I have no idea"
What you don’t realize is that every time you refresh, we show four more ads. It was great until Google got mad and kicked me out of the program. The new ads are OK, though. They just aren’t quite as targeted.
But are the margins as good?
Isn’t it nice to see all our trash on other teams
Wow! Did you hear me get so excited about that pop up?
and did you notice the that ‘flare’ went as far as the ball ‘crushed’ to Patterson by Rolen?
Chuck,
Not even close.
No suspense tonight. Just 1-2-3.
Right?
You haven’t mentioned the "Survivor" sex tape?
Figures. Sorry, Andy.
So how many non-Google clicks for Java chat?
I think it’s about time for another desipio fundraiser/pass the hat. Though that didn’t work out so well last time … hm, I know! Let’s have a BBQ at Dolan’s!
Did I say "two good catchers" talking about Gabor and Matheny?
Whatever.
Man, that popup was high. Yikes.
I hear Jason music….
Choo…Choo…Choo…
Ha…Ha…Ha…
Remember, the Daily Show follows. Watch me carve up Jack Ryan.
It can never be easy, can it?
Chicken #1
I sure wish I wasn’t allowed to reach.
I couldn’t hit that fastball if you told me it was coming.
Here comes my heat, Raj.
Bang, banger.
I just had a Beege flash.
Perhaps a little less chalant next time?
Is chalant a word?
That’s my last hook slide.
Don’t throw me a high fastball, I can’t hit that.
Eat your phucken Alpo!
Dont look back Cardinals….
Man bites dog!
Lassie goes down.
Cubs win!
Cubs win!
CUBS WIN CUBS WIN CUBS WIN
For about the 5th time this month!!!
Score 4 or more and we rock.
Don’t feel bad. We’re better than you are. That’s why we won. And guess what? It’s going to keep happening, and happening, and happening, and happening…
Love,
The Chicago National League Ballclub
Don’t come near me tomorrow, ishkabibble.
Please stay away from me forever.
Dolan, don’t know if you follow these threads much after the games end, but please note: we have reached the one week deadline for the Chipster’s option with WGN, and still no word. Please, for the love of God, make it so and have this awful, whiny, peurile, Cardinal-loving, anti-Cub, ambiguously gay fockstick leave us forever. I mean, I really REALLY hate Chip anymore. I’m even getting tired of Stone.
DK57!! DK57!!
I am quoted in the Chicago Tribune saying this about Sammy scoring in the 8th: "Sometimes I gamble, as you guys know, but the players ran hard. If they all do that, it makes it a little easier for everybody."
So all those times I’ve had guys run just to be out by 30 feet at home weren’t my fault, see. The fools just aren’t running fast enough, that’s all!
What a game. That’s all I can say.