Houston: Roger Clettitte 10-2, 2.73 ERA
Cubs: Matt Clement 7-6, 2.98 ERA
366 Comments
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 12:23 pm
Good news, Matt Morris is pitching like ass.
RS1
on June 30, 2004 at 12:30 pm
Old news, Matt Morris IS an ass.
Indolent Reader
on June 30, 2004 at 12:33 pm
Pinstripes or softball jerseys today?
#3
on June 30, 2004 at 12:39 pm
Clement is pitching so it’ll be the blue pajamas tops.
Lineups
on June 30, 2004 at 12:42 pm
Biggio LF
Everett SS
Beltran CF
Berkman RF
Bagwell 1B
Bizcaino 2B
Ensberg 3B
BAusmus C
Clemens P
Walker 2B
Barrett C
Sosa RF
Alou LF
Ramirez 3B
Lee 1B
Patterson CF
Martinez SS
Clement P
Indolent Reader
on June 30, 2004 at 12:43 pm
Ah, i forgot that Clement was pitching.
Does he find the pinstripes too slimming?
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 12:48 pm
Blue jerseys go better with my big blue socks
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 12:53 pm
Plus when I get sleepy I can take a nap. I am already wearing pajamas.
Kyle Farnsworth
on June 30, 2004 at 12:54 pm
Is it wrong for a couple guys to take a nap together in the clubhouse during a game?
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 12:56 pm
Not if I’m involved Kyle
John Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 12:58 pm
I’m 3-for-3 in murdering rallies today. There was only 1 out this time when the bases were loaded so I hit into another DP instead of striking out again.
Too bad we don’t have anyone who has 76 RBIs to play 3B on the day before an off day.
Cardinals theme
on June 30, 2004 at 1:01 pm
Sung by Edmuonds-"Rolen, Rolen, Rolen…Get them doggies Rolen"
Sung by Rentaria-"Man my ass is swollen."
Rolen, Edmonds, Rentaria-"Rawhide!"
Tony Larussa
on June 30, 2004 at 1:02 pm
Pipe down, John. Who’s the genius here, you or me?
Wilson, Bay and Simon
on June 30, 2004 at 1:05 pm
Bases loaded, no outs…Man we could break this thing open right now.
Remember guys, we’re the Pirates.
Guh
on June 30, 2004 at 1:06 pm
Pirates did their Cubs impression and scored no runs with the bases loaded and no outs.
Craig Wilson
on June 30, 2004 at 1:07 pm
My goldie locks got in my eyes
Double Guh
on June 30, 2004 at 1:24 pm
Looks like the Beege is ready to make amends for last night.
Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 1:24 pm
Obviously, Chip was bery, bery good to me before the game…
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 1:25 pm
Can I take my mulligan?
E-Ramis
on June 30, 2004 at 1:25 pm
A foul ball missed here, a bad throw there; this won’t haunt us. Will it?
Your 2004 Chicago Cubs
on June 30, 2004 at 1:31 pm
Much like Mr. Edmonds….We’re at our best when we’re coming from behind.
Lassie Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 1:32 pm
Wait a sec…I’m at my best when I’m coming from my behind.
Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 1:33 pm
Genius, I just struck out again with the bases loaded. This time with 1 out. So that’s 2 Ks and 1 DP with the bases loaded today, and it’s only the 7th.
Todd Walker
on June 30, 2004 at 1:35 pm
Professional hitters like me can realy work a count, huh?
Indolent Reader
on June 30, 2004 at 1:37 pm
What was that, like six pitches?
At this pace, Pat’s afternoon growler is going to last four innings today.
Roger Clemens
on June 30, 2004 at 1:38 pm
8 pitches time to eat some more
Sammy
on June 30, 2004 at 1:39 pm
Don’t worry, buddy, I saw Rocky. We’re getting him tired like Rocky did, buddy. I’m a gladiator.
Moises Alou
on June 30, 2004 at 1:46 pm
Will I ever get another hit?
Moises
on June 30, 2004 at 1:47 pm
The next will be my first off of Clemens. 0-8, 4K lifetime right now.
Andy Masur
on June 30, 2004 at 1:52 pm
Must practice play by play for 6th inning appearance.
Moises Alou makes an out.
Aramis Ramirez gets on base.
Lee hits one and that ends the inning.
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 1:53 pm
Maybe I should just bean the guy…
Derrek Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 1:53 pm
Remember when I was tearing things up a couple of weeks ago.
Man, those were some good times.
I hope I still have some pictures.
Tike Redman
on June 30, 2004 at 1:56 pm
5-4 Pirates, bottom 8.
You’re welcome! I’ve got three RBI today.
I’m so glad the Genius left Morris in to give up a fifth run!
Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 1:58 pm
My precious Craig walks!!
Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 1:58 pm
I can almost hear Chip talking about walking the DANGEROUS Craig Biggio.
Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 1:59 pm
See. I knew I heard something. Love ya, Chip.
Adam Everett
on June 30, 2004 at 2:00 pm
I hear everything. I can hear the worms burrowing in the dirt.
Jose Mesa
on June 30, 2004 at 2:00 pm
I’ve got nothing.
Runners at second and third, nobody out in Pittsburgh.
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:02 pm
I know the feeling Jose
Jason Marquis
on June 30, 2004 at 2:05 pm
I’m running for Jim Edmonds! Tony truly is The Genius.
The Genius
on June 30, 2004 at 2:06 pm
Hmmm, maybe I’ll leave Morris in for the 9th and the 10th.
John Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 2:06 pm
It cannot be stressed enough how badly I suck.
Joe Table
on June 30, 2004 at 2:07 pm
Bases loaded nobody out and the Cardinals only get one. Renteria grounded into a double play to score Marlon Anderson, then Mabry (surprise!) grounded out with the go ahead run on third.
Due up in the Pissburgh ninth, Stynes, Kendall and Jack Wilson. If anybody gets on Rob Mackowiak.
The Genius
on June 30, 2004 at 2:07 pm
… and leave Mabry in to make the final out in the ninth with the go-ahead run at third.
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 2:07 pm
Why would anybody get on Rob Mackowiak?
Edmonds, I suppose.
Scott Rolen
on June 30, 2004 at 2:08 pm
It’s not like he had any pinch hitters available.
Crazy Julian
on June 30, 2004 at 2:09 pm
I’m in for the ninth in Pissburgh!
John Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 2:09 pm
I only left 11 guys on base while I was playing 3B. Let’s see what we can do in CF, another position I’ve never played in my life.
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:09 pm
I just wanted to extend the inning to tire out Biggio by making him run the bases.
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 2:11 pm
Hector Luna’s in to play third in St. Louis, did Jason Giambi give Rolen his parasite?
Corey Patterson
on June 30, 2004 at 2:12 pm
Whoever this Chuck guy is, he can keep ripping me. It won’t make him right.
Jack Wilson
on June 30, 2004 at 2:13 pm
2 out, tie game, nobody on, time for another patented Jack Wilson inside the park double + a 2 base error.
ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 2:13 pm
i stink
John Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 2:13 pm
I’m in center field!
ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 2:13 pm
i stink
ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 2:14 pm
i stink
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 2:16 pm
According to Yahoo, with 2 out and men on 1st and 3rd, Jose Mesa is coming to the plate.
Bobby Hill
on June 30, 2004 at 2:16 pm
Base hit by me would win it.
Lloyd McClendon
on June 30, 2004 at 2:16 pm
We have runners at first and third in the ninth and two outs and Craig Wilson is due up, well, I mean should be due up, but I double switched and now it’s Jose Mesa. So I have to use one of my tremendous pinch hitters…Bobby Hill.
Lloyd
on June 30, 2004 at 2:17 pm
Well, Bobby Hill, so it might as well be Mesa.
Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 2:17 pm
0-5, 11 LOB.
This has got to be some kind of record.
Bobby Hill
on June 30, 2004 at 2:18 pm
The E-ramis trade just paid yet another dividend.
Pirates win!
Bobby Hill
on June 30, 2004 at 2:19 pm
Base hit by me did win it. Most I ever did for the Cubs (other than being trade bait for E-Ramis)
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 2:19 pm
My brother in law thought it was soooo funny when the Cubs went to Pittsburgh and lost three of four at the end of May.
Well, Cardinals boy, we’re even now.
Muahahahahahahahahaha.
The Genius
on June 30, 2004 at 2:20 pm
I know better than anyone that Julian Tavarez is the man you want pitching with the game on the line.
Dave B
on June 30, 2004 at 2:20 pm
Thank you, Bobby Hill. Swept in Pittsburgh. Wonder how many pitches Mouthbreathin’ Matt hurled today?
Matt C
on June 30, 2004 at 2:21 pm
Vizcaino’s putting the next pitch out of the park, wanna bet?
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 2:21 pm
Dave – 104
Steve Kline
on June 30, 2004 at 2:22 pm
I’m still standing in the dugout giving Tony "The Redbird!"
Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:23 pm
I hate the strike zone
Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:24 pm
It’s my asthma!
Judge Smails
on June 30, 2004 at 2:24 pm
I’ll give you asthma!
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:25 pm
Maybe I’ll just walk the ballpark.
Jose Macias
on June 30, 2004 at 2:25 pm
You can’t walk me, Matt Clement!
Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 2:26 pm
How do you guys like it when I say things like, "Well, let’s see if he’s been observing the game, not just watching it?" Aren’t I clever?
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:26 pm
I couldn’t hit a cow’s ass with a banjo.
Jack "Goose" Givens
on June 30, 2004 at 2:26 pm
Chip,
Remember when you fly home this weekend, we’re gonna have another "basketball lesson" in your ass. I mean, in your pool.
A cow
on June 30, 2004 at 2:27 pm
Ouch.
Henry Burriss
on June 30, 2004 at 2:29 pm
Hitting a cow or a bull in the ass with a banjo is harder than you think. It’s almost as hard as getting out from under center without falling down.
Clemens
on June 30, 2004 at 2:30 pm
Break my bat, then throw it at me.
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:31 pm
I’m going to walk Clemens to get to the Beege…
Gasoline
on June 30, 2004 at 2:31 pm
no one ever told Matt to not play with me
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 2:32 pm
How are you going to hit a cow in the ass with Jim Edmonds in the way?
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:33 pm
Even I could hit Jim Edmonds in the ass…
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:33 pm
Man, I’m better than Houdini.
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 2:33 pm
I’m almost done back here, but what the hell, hit my as with the banjo and let’s see how that goes.
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 2:36 pm
I only stick my head up the bull’s ass because I don’t like to take my butcher’s word for it.
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 2:36 pm
Sorry, I meant MEAT butcher, B.C.
Chippy
on June 30, 2004 at 2:36 pm
How many times am I going to tell you that Sammy hit his first career HR against Clemens?
Shawn Estes
on June 30, 2004 at 2:37 pm
I could not hit Roger Clettitte in the ass that time two years ago, though, remember?
Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:37 pm
74 pitches through four innings. Is that a lot?
Sammy Sosa
on June 30, 2004 at 2:37 pm
Maybe Corey and I should trade spots.
Corey
on June 30, 2004 at 2:38 pm
I don’t have any spots.
Moises
on June 30, 2004 at 2:39 pm
I walked? Where do I go? First?
It’s been so long, I forgot.
Besides, like I said last night, I don’t know any baseball rules.
Michael Barrett
on June 30, 2004 at 2:41 pm
Wasn’t I hitting .318 a couple of weeks ago?
Man, I was good!
George Ofman
on June 30, 2004 at 2:41 pm
Moises Alou was lying to the umps! Lying!
Twofer Twentyfive
on June 30, 2004 at 2:42 pm
I’ll do that to you, Mike.
Jim Joyce
on June 30, 2004 at 2:43 pm
For you, Roger, the strike zone stretches all the way to Texas.
E-ramis
on June 30, 2004 at 2:43 pm
Ok why am I not at 1st base?
DeWayne Wise Fan
on June 30, 2004 at 2:43 pm
Now that the Pirates Gamecast has ended, can I get a Braves/Marlins Gamecast tonight?
morpheus
on June 30, 2004 at 2:44 pm
‘Strikes’ two and three to Ramirez look a bit off the plate on Sportsline. Did they look that bad?
Corey Patterson
on June 30, 2004 at 2:44 pm
See what plate patience gets you E-Ramis?
E-Ram
on June 30, 2004 at 2:44 pm
"Strike" two was in the dirt, and "strike" three behind me…
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 2:46 pm
Ah, "fisted toward left", words to warm the cockles of my heart.
morpheus
on June 30, 2004 at 2:46 pm
I was at the game last night and saw some horrific umpiring by Dana DeMuth. Is Joyce just trying to make the ‘crew chief’ look better?
Jim Joyce
on June 30, 2004 at 2:48 pm
Nope, I’m just trying to get a reach-round from Rog.
Ump
on June 30, 2004 at 2:48 pm
We’re a little bothered by Moises trying to play us for fools.
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:48 pm
When’s the last time I got 4 or more runs from these sad sacks?
Dana DeMuth
on June 30, 2004 at 2:49 pm
morpheus, just because I decided to change the entire strike zone around the 6th inning doesn’t mean I’m a bad umpire…it means I’m a horrible umpire.
Jimy Williams
on June 30, 2004 at 2:51 pm
Hey Roger, slow down a little. How am I supposed to use my requisite five relief pitchers today?
Actually, Bullinger and Weathers won’t get anybody out, so that’ll help.
Fat Lance
on June 30, 2004 at 2:52 pm
Time to make Clement pay.
Not Steve the Sox fan
on June 30, 2004 at 2:52 pm
So the Cardinals aren’t a rival,eh? You’ve got 110 posts already and a third of those were on the Cardinals!
Oh, wait, the Cardinals are your rival.
Sox rule! Whoooooooooo!
Ice Man
on June 30, 2004 at 2:53 pm
How many innings do I have to go today?
Gabor
on June 30, 2004 at 2:53 pm
A day game after a night one? How come I’m not catching? I could have turned that last pitch into a passed ball, and then my wild throw to second would have scored Beltran.
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:54 pm
100 pitches through 5 innings. That’s good, right?
Michael Worse
on June 30, 2004 at 2:55 pm
Hey, I’m warming up in the fifth. I can’t believe Dusty’s conceding a one-run game.
Re6y Ordonez
on June 30, 2004 at 2:55 pm
Sit down next to me and shut up, Bako. I think its best that neither one of us call attention to ourselves. If Dusty remembers we’re on the team he’ll play us. And if he plays us, we’re one step closer to getting released.
Nolan Ryan
on June 30, 2004 at 2:56 pm
I used to throw 220 a game, you pantywaists. Now get in this headlock and I’ll make a man out of you.
NIU Alumni Day
on June 30, 2004 at 2:56 pm
Friday is NIU Alum Day at Wrigley. We’ll honor our most famous alums, including:
Dan Castalenetta, the voice of Homer Simpson
Joan Allen, Oscar nominated actress
Steve Harris, Emmy nominated Actor on ABC’s The Practice
Terry Boers, Assclown radio hack and sportswriter
Andy Dolan, Internet "celebrity"
Ahh, screw it, we’re not claiming Dolan.
To Not Steve
on June 30, 2004 at 2:57 pm
My only rival is work and I’m beating it up good.
Work sucks! Whoooo!
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:57 pm
I really need to figure out how o be consistent
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 2:58 pm
I can’t even see the game and I know Clement is practically flashing sign language to the dugout that says, "Please take me out!"
Matt Clement
on June 30, 2004 at 2:58 pm
Jeez, my first and third pitches to Bagwell were strikes for Clemens!
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 2:59 pm
Memo to the NIU Alumni Association:
Your check is in the mail.
And it’s going to bounce like it’s made out of rubber.
Cubs bullpen preparations
on June 30, 2004 at 2:59 pm
We’re dousing Wuertz in Diesel fuel so he’ll burn more evenly.
Cub Hitters
on June 30, 2004 at 3:00 pm
Sorry Matt, we won’t even consider a comeback until we’re down by 3 runs.
White Flag Time
on June 30, 2004 at 3:00 pm
for Matt Clement
From bad to ...
on June 30, 2004 at 3:00 pm
Wuertz.
This is going to get ugly.
Dusty
on June 30, 2004 at 3:00 pm
Just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any Wuertz.
The Genius
on June 30, 2004 at 3:01 pm
I’d put Crazy Julian into this spot any day.
The Genius
on June 30, 2004 at 3:03 pm
… and I’d have John Mabry pinch hitting and playing 2B.
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 3:03 pm
Clement threw 104 pitches and allowed only four hits. That’s tough to do. Actually throwing 104 in four and two thirds and ONLY walking five is tough to do.
FYI-Team USA 16, Team Canada 6 – outscored Canada 66-22 in six-game sweep
Michael Wuertz
on June 30, 2004 at 3:04 pm
Really!
Mike Wuertz
on June 30, 2004 at 3:04 pm
Hell, that was easy.
Dave B
on June 30, 2004 at 3:04 pm
Take that, you Weurtz-naysayers.
Jose Vizcaino
on June 30, 2004 at 3:05 pm
Take it easy! It was just me.
John Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 3:05 pm
The Astros have left 8 runners on base in five innings.
Only three more to tie me today!
Jose Vizcaino
on June 30, 2004 at 3:06 pm
Easy, boys, it was only me he got out. Wait until the rest of the lineup tees off on him in the sixth…
Tree in an empty forest
on June 30, 2004 at 3:06 pm
If Wuertz strikes out Vizcaino, does it really count?
Derek Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:07 pm
It’s STILL June…
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 3:07 pm
#140 – In this case, yes.
Wuertz
on June 30, 2004 at 3:08 pm
Remember last time I was up? I went like 2 scoreless innings then got shelled after that. I swear on Berkman’s fat arse that I won’t do it this time.
Runner at second, none out
on June 30, 2004 at 3:08 pm
For those of you who remember such great films as: "Bases Loaded, None Out" and "Bases Loaded, One Out," you’ll love this sequel.
Derrek Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:09 pm
I’m a doubles machine
Derrek Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:09 pm
It’s just been too cold the last couple of days. The temperature goes up, and so does my batting average. Say what’s it like around here in October?
Lance Berkman
on June 30, 2004 at 3:09 pm
Arse?
Late Game Situations In October
on June 30, 2004 at 3:10 pm
Remember Derrek you like me in Chicago
Ramon Martinez
on June 30, 2004 at 3:11 pm
Don’t worry, I can’t possibly screw up in this situation.
cialis
on June 30, 2004 at 3:13 pm
they like to stick these up the Cubs arses..
Derrek Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:13 pm
Oh, but I know someone who can.
Fundamental Baseball
on June 30, 2004 at 3:14 pm
Anyone know how to get to 1060 West Addision? I haven’t been there in years.
Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:14 pm
Can’t get my pants dirty. Yeah, I was safe but I deserve to be out for looking at the play the whole time and still go in standing up. I’m an idiot.
TD
on June 30, 2004 at 3:14 pm
Are you kidding me? Someone take all the fucking Cubs and take them to a fucking little league practice to show them how to fucking bunt and run bases.
Fucking embarrasing.
Mike Wuertz
on June 30, 2004 at 3:14 pm
I’m sorry, am I up at the plate?
*******
on June 30, 2004 at 3:15 pm
cussing.
Lee Elia
on June 30, 2004 at 3:15 pm
This umpiring crew are a bunch of Co@c$u@k##$
D Lee-ted
on June 30, 2004 at 3:15 pm
..from the game, that is.
Jose Macias
on June 30, 2004 at 3:16 pm
No Mike, but I am. That’s just as good.
Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:16 pm
Buh-bye.
Todd Walker
on June 30, 2004 at 3:16 pm
Oooh, do I get to play first base now?
Someone explain
on June 30, 2004 at 3:17 pm
What happened?
Jimy Williams
on June 30, 2004 at 3:17 pm
Get me Kirk Bullinger!
Someone explain
on June 30, 2004 at 3:17 pm
What happened?
Rey Ordonez
on June 30, 2004 at 3:17 pm
Martinez, get your first baseman’s mitt, I’m coming in!
Stranded in cubicle
on June 30, 2004 at 3:17 pm
Hoping for a description of what happened…
MLB Gameday
on June 30, 2004 at 3:18 pm
We’re completely confused.
Sarge
on June 30, 2004 at 3:18 pm
I think I got kicked out, according to Gary Thorne, but he can’t even pronounce "Macias" correctly, so who knows?
Alex
on June 30, 2004 at 3:18 pm
I’m at work, checking in periodically on the game on MLB’s GameDay. Can someone tell me why Baker got ejected?
Two walks in seven days! Look out Rickey Henderson and Barry Bonds, here I come!
Yahoo
on June 30, 2004 at 3:19 pm
We’ve got either Macias or Wuertz up, we can’t decide.
CBS Sportsline
on June 30, 2004 at 3:19 pm
Now we’ve got Macias up with 6 balls and 4 strikes.
Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 3:19 pm
I caught that, right? Can I open my eyes now?
morpheus
on June 30, 2004 at 3:19 pm
Someone with a TV, please help!!!!!
What happened...
on June 30, 2004 at 3:19 pm
Lee thought he wasn’t out at third, turned out he was, a couple of pitches later, Joyce motioned toward the dugout and threw someone out, then Dusty came out yelling and screaming (all the while, keeping the toothpick in place — you try it sometime, ain’t easy), then Dusty went back sat on the bench and didn’t go anywhere, then Walker hit a SF…whew…
Walk
on June 30, 2004 at 3:19 pm
That’ll get the job done.
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 3:21 pm
You mean we scored a run with the bases loaded?!?
morpheus
on June 30, 2004 at 3:21 pm
Right, but only one, of course.
Macias
on June 30, 2004 at 3:21 pm
And lost in the shuffle was that I walked on a pitch that was a strike approximately 30 minutes ago, but that was before Johnnie B. scared the hell out of Jim Joyce, who would have been better off sticking with Ulysses.
morpheus
on June 30, 2004 at 3:23 pm
Next question: who actually got tossed?
Ron Santo
on June 30, 2004 at 3:23 pm
MLB Gamecast is even more confused than me. Uh… I.
Aw, jeez…
Sarge
on June 30, 2004 at 3:24 pm
I got tossed.
C-Pat
on June 30, 2004 at 3:24 pm
I made that look MUCH more difficult than it actually was…
Sarge
on June 30, 2004 at 3:24 pm
Is that a bad thing?
Kovac
on June 30, 2004 at 3:25 pm
Hitting Coach Gary Matthews got tossed.
Hm, the hitting coach gets tossed, and moments later Jose F. Macias ACTUALLY DRAWS A WALK. Coincidence??
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 3:25 pm
Hey, I want to get tossed, too!!!
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 3:26 pm
I wish I’d got tossed.
Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 3:26 pm
Jim.
8:00.
My place.
Bring your chaps.
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 3:26 pm
Dagnanit, beat myself to it.
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 3:27 pm
… not for the first time, I might add.
Jon Ice Man LeICEster
on June 30, 2004 at 3:30 pm
When do Wuertz and I become "vaunted?"
Chippie
on June 30, 2004 at 3:32 pm
… when you learn to ‘close my door’ like the Astros do… did I say that out loud?
Dusty
on June 30, 2004 at 3:32 pm
I can just keep pitching Beltran, Farns and Hawkins every day, right?
Francis Beltran
on June 30, 2004 at 3:33 pm
If you don’t mind me giving up homers to every 3rd batter, sure.
Strike Zone
on June 30, 2004 at 3:33 pm
is any place Roger throws the ball.
Moises
on June 30, 2004 at 3:34 pm
Why do I run like I have orthopaedic shoes on?
How bad...
on June 30, 2004 at 3:35 pm
…is the Astros defense that they can’t turn 2 on Sammy and Moises?
Ryne Sandberg
on June 30, 2004 at 3:36 pm
I’m on the radio right now and I am electric. I’m Mr. Personality. Maybe I can replace Chip next year?
Vaunted Astros Defense
on June 30, 2004 at 3:38 pm
I guess we can turn that one though.
Dusty
on June 30, 2004 at 3:38 pm
I think it’s a good idea that I’ve got Barrett and Moises batting second and fourth since they’re both so red hot. This lineup would be lunacy…
Walker, 2b
Patterson, cf
Sosa, rf
E-ramis, 3b
Lee, 1b
Alou, lf
Barrett, c
Ramon, ss
Pitcher
Nah, it’d never work.
Moises
on June 30, 2004 at 3:39 pm
My clutch is slipping!
Forty thousand people at Wrigley
on June 30, 2004 at 3:40 pm
Oh for f**k’s sake.
Julie Swieca
on June 30, 2004 at 3:41 pm
That landed in another zip code.
by the way, I’m not really from Chicago.
Chip Caray
on June 30, 2004 at 3:41 pm
Beege you sure are living up to your hype
Kent Mercker
on June 30, 2004 at 3:41 pm
Oh boy, I can hardly wait to try out today’s strike zone.
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 3:43 pm
What the hell is going on?
The Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 3:44 pm
I just hit my second solo homer of the day.
Andy Masur
on June 30, 2004 at 3:45 pm
I decided to get cute & actually try to describe that HR.
I’m now the only announcer in the history of baseball to stumble & spit all over myself during "going…going…GONE!!"
I should have stuck to "here’s the pitch………………………and it’s 2-1 Astros."
La-Z-Boy
on June 30, 2004 at 3:45 pm
OK. I’m too lazy to take the time to check it out for myself. What happened with Lee earlier in the game when he was out…no, wait, safe….never mind. Out.
SD
on June 30, 2004 at 3:46 pm
Stuck watching GameCast .. son of a bitching thing must be broke. Biggio — 2 homers?!?
Fat Lance
on June 30, 2004 at 3:46 pm
I really should bat lefty against this puss pot. But I think I’ll make it harder on myself just for kicks.
The Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 3:46 pm
Well, I guess you can’t fault a guy that blew yesterday’s game (and something else) coming back to hit 2 homers the next day.
Unless, it’s The Beege, of course.
Kent
on June 30, 2004 at 3:47 pm
I do enjoy walking guys.
Just Wondering
on June 30, 2004 at 3:47 pm
If it would be a good idea for Kent Mercker to throw strikes.
Kent Mercker
on June 30, 2004 at 3:48 pm
Maybe I’ll throw a strike someday…
The ICE man
on June 30, 2004 at 3:49 pm
Tell me again why they took me out…
Jeff Bagwell
on June 30, 2004 at 3:49 pm
It’s hard to swing with an enormous fork sticking out of your back. I really should retire now.
Kent
on June 30, 2004 at 3:49 pm
Like that, you mean? Just as well, one more walk was going to give me an aneurysm.
Chippy
on June 30, 2004 at 3:50 pm
Well, that was an electric, personalitytastic rendition, Ryno. Don’t get too comfortable in here just yet, son.
Jeff Bagwell
on June 30, 2004 at 3:52 pm
Remember when I used to own the Cubs?
The last two years, 19-91 (.209) four homers, nine RBI.
I miss the good old days.
And my shoulder.
And my Andro.
#7 #8 #9 hitters
on June 30, 2004 at 3:53 pm
We got a baserunner to drive in!
D-Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:53 pm
Still June, bitch!
D-Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 3:53 pm
I wonder how I’ll be tomorrow?
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 3:53 pm
You know what might be nice? To have somebody on base when Derrek Lee comes to the plate.
La-Z-Boy
on June 30, 2004 at 3:54 pm
OK, ya buncha fkkrs. Thanks for letting me know what happened with Lee.
La-Z-Boy
on June 30, 2004 at 3:56 pm
Oh. And one more thing. NO GOOGLE CLICKING ON MY PART. SO HA!
Ron Santo
on June 30, 2004 at 3:57 pm
That strike three call was so bad I actually yelled "baloney!"
C-Pat
on June 30, 2004 at 3:58 pm
You know what might be nice? To have Derek Lee on base when Ramon comes to the plate.
Sammy and Moises
on June 30, 2004 at 3:58 pm
Re: #226
Got a problem with us?
Pat Hughes
on June 30, 2004 at 3:58 pm
And you’ll be glad to know that I lost my baloney sandwich in the top of this inning, Ronnie!
Home Plate Umpire Jim Joyce
on June 30, 2004 at 3:58 pm
I actually cost you two outs with that bad strike three call.
You think I have a God complex? I am God!
Jimy Williams
on June 30, 2004 at 4:00 pm
I cannot let Roger Clemens face the great Tom Goodwin! Must use bullpen!
Wait, the home plate ump has told me that anything Roger throws will be called a strike. How nice of him.
Pitching Lines
on June 30, 2004 at 4:00 pm
Both Clemens and Clement with 4 H and 5 BB, with Clement going 104 pitches in 4 2/3 IP and Clemens sitting at 99 pitches currently through 6 2/3 IP.
Pitch efficiency anyone?
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:01 pm
The reality of Roger’s seventh inning.
Lee, singled to center.
Patterson walked.
Ramon walked.
The Jim Joyce version.
Lee singled to center
Patterson struck out on a pitch a foot inside, Lee out trying to steal second.
Ramon walked.
There’s a little difference there, no?
Jimy Williams
on June 30, 2004 at 4:01 pm
Well, I guess it was a strike.
Corey Patterson
on June 30, 2004 at 4:01 pm
Hey, if I take pitches and they’re strikes anyway, I’ll just get back to swinging at anything.
Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 4:02 pm
Then again Clemens does have 6 K’s to Clement’s 5. Maybe thats why he’s got a higher pitch count. (wait he doesn’t!)
Tom Goodwin
on June 30, 2004 at 4:02 pm
Hey Dolan! Screw you, I’m on fire!
Whoooooooooooooooooo!
Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:03 pm
I could have turned that grounder into a hit.
Runner In Scoring Position
on June 30, 2004 at 4:03 pm
How often do I touch home plate?
Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:04 pm
On defense, at least.
Speaking in complete sentences
on June 30, 2004 at 4:04 pm
David Justice has never met me…..
Moises
on June 30, 2004 at 4:04 pm
Just hit it to The Beege.
Halle Berry's boobies
on June 30, 2004 at 4:05 pm
Dave Justice has met me!
Follow-thru on punch to wife's jaw
on June 30, 2004 at 4:05 pm
David Justice knows me very well.
Halle Berry's boobies
on June 30, 2004 at 4:05 pm
Dave, remember us?
Halle Berry's boobies
on June 30, 2004 at 4:05 pm
Erm, actually, pretty much everybody has met me.
Drug Dealers Handing Out Money
on June 30, 2004 at 4:06 pm
Did Ron just call out the ump saying that the last pitch would be a strike for Clemens? Where’s thais broadcaster been for 10 years?
This game
on June 30, 2004 at 4:07 pm
Why does it seem like it’s 10-1 instead of 2-1?
By the way, the Cubs are going to run out of pitchers soon.
Greg Maddux
on June 30, 2004 at 4:07 pm
I remember when I used to get the strike calls that Clettitte gets. Those were the days. I miss those days. Excuse me while I dry my tears on this huge pile of cash.
St. Louis Rent Boy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:07 pm
I met Jim Edmonds.
Todd Walker's glove
on June 30, 2004 at 4:09 pm
Clang!
The envy of all 14 year old boys
on June 30, 2004 at 4:09 pm
I met my teacher.
Ron Santo
on June 30, 2004 at 4:10 pm
I just said that if you’ve only got one hand you should catch the ball in the webbing of your glove not the heel.
Pete Gray is nodding in his coffin.
Todd Walker
on June 30, 2004 at 4:11 pm
Can I please replace Womack in STL next year so that Albie & I can each win our first career Gold Gloves in ’05?
The Farns
on June 30, 2004 at 4:11 pm
I’m obsessed with the runner at first! Home run to a crappy hitter coming up!
Morgan Ensberg
on June 30, 2004 at 4:11 pm
It’s tears of gratitude in my eyes – thanks, Todd.
E-4
on June 30, 2004 at 4:11 pm
Making up for me with a 4-6-3 would be pretty neat.
The Farns
on June 30, 2004 at 4:12 pm
It’s all part of my plan. I’m going to blind him then pick him off.
Brad Ausmus' knees
on June 30, 2004 at 4:14 pm
Creeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaak….
Wendell Kim
on June 30, 2004 at 4:17 pm
I’d have sent him, too.
Stonewall Jackson
on June 30, 2004 at 4:17 pm
You do me proud, Barrett!
Waving Wendell
on June 30, 2004 at 4:17 pm
Does Wendell Kim coach 3rd base for the Astros too?
Wendell Kim
on June 30, 2004 at 4:18 pm
Am I coaching third for the Astros?
Steve Stone
on June 30, 2004 at 4:18 pm
Did you ever notice that the guy who gets run over to end the inning usually leads off the next one with a homer?
Hey Steve
on June 30, 2004 at 4:20 pm
How’s the visibility?
Sportsline
on June 30, 2004 at 4:20 pm
I didn’t do that last play justice.
HOU
Lamb singled to center, Ensberg out at home
Sure would have liked to witness that one first hand! Was it a Corey throw or cut-off? Cause a 7-2 putout would hurt a lot of Desipio readers feelings.
No. 268
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
Lottery numbers, please.
Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
How many times does it happen…
Michael Barrett
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
Steve, you’re a scary man.
SMG
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
OK, 268 and Steve, that’s just creepy.
SMG
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
OK, 268 and Steve, that’s just creepy.
hey 268
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
Nice call steve
Todd Walker
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
I got in the middle of it to atone for my error.
I’m sure Chuck will find a reason to bitch about Corey’s end of it, somehow.
Re: Sportsline
on June 30, 2004 at 4:21 pm
OK now i’m showing
HOU
Lamb singled to center, Ensberg scored.
Houston 3, Chicago 1. What the fuck!
Steve Stone
on June 30, 2004 at 4:22 pm
I’m patting myself on the back.
I’m doubling down on Sammy’s homer right here.
Morgan Ensberg
on June 30, 2004 at 4:23 pm
Little help.
Please?
Steve Stone
on June 30, 2004 at 4:23 pm
Does that make me half right?
CBS Sportsline
on June 30, 2004 at 4:24 pm
You know, they actually "pay" people to input this data.
I think any of us on here would do it for free.
Jim Joyce
on June 30, 2004 at 4:24 pm
No. 278 – Yeah, I couldn’t bear the thought of Roger Clemens losing a game I umped, so I reversed the call. We’re still in the top of the 8th.
Moises Alou
on June 30, 2004 at 4:24 pm
I’m no Steve Stone, but I bet I’ll pee on my hands after the game.
and the ivy.
Jeff Bagwell
on June 30, 2004 at 4:24 pm
Sammy could have run to third, I can’t throw the ball more than nine feet.
Jimy Williams
on June 30, 2004 at 4:24 pm
Am I walking Moises to get to E-ramis?
I deserve to get fired before this inning ends.
Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 4:25 pm
Love that no out magic
The Vaunted Astros Bullpen
on June 30, 2004 at 4:25 pm
What?
Morgan Ensberg
on June 30, 2004 at 4:25 pm
I can’t throw the ball because I hurt myself running into Michael Barrett.
Miceli
on June 30, 2004 at 4:25 pm
Dan or Tony? Discuss.
Chip Caray
on June 30, 2004 at 4:25 pm
What’s the opposite of vaunted?
Morgan Ensberg
on June 30, 2004 at 4:26 pm
What?
Aramis
on June 30, 2004 at 4:26 pm
Bring on Brad Lidge! I shall smote one to the Avenue of Waveland and send my legions of fans into wild postulations of celebration!
Hey, I am one of the Three Musketeers after all!
Steve Stone
on June 30, 2004 at 4:26 pm
Unvaunted? Avaunted?
Steve Stone
on June 30, 2004 at 4:27 pm
Did you ever notice that the guy who ends the top of an inning by running into the catcher usually makes a two-base error in the bottom of the inning?
Aramis
on June 30, 2004 at 4:27 pm
I shall also learn that the present participle is "smite".
D. Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 4:28 pm
Don’t worry E-ramis. I got this. I’m going to end June with a bang.
Leon Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 4:28 pm
Let me show y’all my dangling participle.
2 on, 0 out
on June 30, 2004 at 4:29 pm
Really, is it that hard?
Miceli
on June 30, 2004 at 4:29 pm
Sportsline is calling me Danny. These paid data inputters really fucking suck (along with Yahoo)!
Desipio is more efficient at internet play-by-play (even with the routine "Jim Edmonds is gay" call).
D Lee
on June 30, 2004 at 4:29 pm
Shit! Hey Moises I hit it to The Beege. He caught it?
Jim Edmonds
on June 30, 2004 at 4:30 pm
#299 – Yes, sweetie, it is.
miceli?
on June 30, 2004 at 4:31 pm
samantha, all the way
John Mabry
on June 30, 2004 at 4:33 pm
#299, you’re damn right.
Alyssa Milano
on June 30, 2004 at 4:34 pm
By the way guys, I’m on the market again.
Off to the Races...
on June 30, 2004 at 4:34 pm
…or my watch has stopped.
Groucho
JT
on June 30, 2004 at 4:34 pm
Not now, Alyssa, there’s a game on.
Chuck
on June 30, 2004 at 4:35 pm
Alyssa:
Can you bat leadoff or play short?
Chuck
on June 30, 2004 at 4:36 pm
Is this Korey coming of age? Right here?
Or is he just a Cora wanna be?
If he goes 17 pitches...
on June 30, 2004 at 4:37 pm
and hits a homer, I’ll buy everyone here a pizza.
Corey
on June 30, 2004 at 4:37 pm
Did you like my 11 pitch walk?
Do I still suck?
Fuck you guys!
The Genius
on June 30, 2004 at 4:37 pm
I put John Mabry in to pinch hit here.
RS1
on June 30, 2004 at 4:37 pm
That was some AB by Corey. He still has that whole baserunning riddle to figure out, but he’s getting better.
1.000220087531
on June 30, 2004 at 4:37 pm
After that 11 pitch at bat, the average number of pitches seen by Corey.
Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:38 pm
Please pinch hit for me!
Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:38 pm
I like to kill the Astros, remember?
Kill me Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:39 pm
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:39 pm
If nothing else, Lidge won’t be around for the ninth, now.
Jimy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:40 pm
Sure he will Andy!
Who’s left? Kirk Bullinger?
The Beege
on June 30, 2004 at 4:40 pm
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
That girl in the red top
on June 30, 2004 at 4:41 pm
Nice cans, huh?
That pitch down the middle
on June 30, 2004 at 4:42 pm
Nice swing, huh?
Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:42 pm
Wait, wait – you’re saying that above the knee is a STRIKE?
Ramon
on June 30, 2004 at 4:42 pm
Too good to be true.
Brad Lidge
on June 30, 2004 at 4:43 pm
Well, that only took me 24 pitches.
CBS Sportsline
on June 30, 2004 at 4:43 pm
I’m saying that the last pitch was rolling.
Alyssa Milano
on June 30, 2004 at 4:44 pm
Now will you guys please pay attention to me?
The Cubs
on June 30, 2004 at 4:44 pm
Ok, we’ve got Hawkins and Frank (Solo Homer) Beltran left. Please score a run.
Re6y Ordonez
on June 30, 2004 at 4:45 pm
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Jimy Williams
on June 30, 2004 at 4:45 pm
Hmm, Bullinger, Gallo, Weather and Harville in the pen? This game’s in the bag.
Jim Joyce
on June 30, 2004 at 4:45 pm
HAHAHAHA!! Oh, man. Sorry guys, for sucking so damn much today. My bad.
Rey Ordonez
on June 30, 2004 at 4:45 pm
I’m in to play short and I’m leading off the ninth!
Sammy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:45 pm
I got that, buddy!
Sportsline
on June 30, 2004 at 4:45 pm
According to our pitch locations Ramon should have been on first.
Beltran
on June 30, 2004 at 4:46 pm
Actually, it’s Frank (Swung On) Beltran.
CT
on June 30, 2004 at 4:46 pm
Somebody got Biggio out!
sun dial
on June 30, 2004 at 4:46 pm
This is the longest 2-2 9-inning game I’ve ever seen.
Have the Cubs and Astros moved to the American League?
Is Pudge Fisk catching?
Todd Walker
on June 30, 2004 at 4:46 pm
Hey, I caught one!
Carlos Beltran
on June 30, 2004 at 4:48 pm
I should just tank this thing so I can get traded back out of Texas before the deadline.
Carlos Beltran
on June 30, 2004 at 4:48 pm
I’m good.
LaTroy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:48 pm
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
The morgue
on June 30, 2004 at 4:48 pm
Is noisier than Wrigley right now.
Carlos Beltran
on June 30, 2004 at 4:49 pm
I still hate Texas
The Cubs
on June 30, 2004 at 4:49 pm
Well, I guess someone scored a run.
LaTroy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:50 pm
Whew. Glad I got out of that without blowing a save.
Rey Ordonez
on June 30, 2004 at 4:50 pm
I’ll get it right back. I’m due!
Frank Beltran
on June 30, 2004 at 4:50 pm
Well, at least you didn’t have to use me!
I’ll be in tomorrow’s game, that’s for sure!
LaTroy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:51 pm
That’s right, I suck. I’ve now given up 11 runs in 41 games. I’m horrible.
Gruddy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:52 pm
If we tie this, I’m playing shorstop!
Joe Bo
on June 30, 2004 at 4:52 pm
For an inning there, I thought I was back from the dead.
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:52 pm
Well, Lidge is still in. Theoretically, he should be tired.
Theoretically.
Chuck
on June 30, 2004 at 4:53 pm
Kyle Farnsworth and a minor leaguer for Beltran.
And he hits .500 at Wrigley.
Rey
on June 30, 2004 at 4:53 pm
I don’t think so Gruddy!
Andy
on June 30, 2004 at 4:54 pm
Theoretically’s looking like a loser.
Michael Barrett
on June 30, 2004 at 4:54 pm
Can I do it again?
Todd Walker
on June 30, 2004 at 4:54 pm
When did I have that big game in Houston…Two months ago?
Have I gotten three hits since then?
Craig Biggio
on June 30, 2004 at 4:55 pm
Theoretically, I shouldn’t hit 2 HRs in the same month.
Michael Barrett
on June 30, 2004 at 4:56 pm
Nope.
Lidge
on June 30, 2004 at 4:56 pm
Thanks Cubs, for making me work hard again in the 9th for this save.
Battlin' Bucco's
on June 30, 2004 at 4:57 pm
No more favors from us, since you can’t capitalize.
Jimy Wiliams
on June 30, 2004 at 4:58 pm
Lidge should be good for thre or four inings tomorow, to!
SD
on June 30, 2004 at 5:06 pm
Not a gripe on today’s game in particular, and it isn’t anything nobody else has said, but I’d rather be seeing Derrek Lee in the #2 spot with his .379 OBP (.355 career) over Michael Barrett’s .342 (.314 career).
Also, Lee started the month at .341 to rise to his current total. Barrett started at .370 to drop to where he’s at now.
This would have left Lee as the last man to bat in today’s game. Then again, Barrett wouldn’t have been able to lead off that inning with the magic homer. Sure the magic worked today Dusty but lets see some shufflin!
Concerning our dearly loved announcer Chip
on June 30, 2004 at 9:47 pm
Have any of you’s noticed that ever since Chip came back from that Sox VS Cubs "break" he’s been acting more like a CUBS announcer than a "I’m neutral and root for whoever’s winning…especially when its St. Louis or the Astros" announcer? When those homeruns from the oppossing team went out of Wrigley I did not hear Chip get all excited and almost clap his hands with joy. I heard an "uh-oh" from him when Beltran hit his in the 9th!!! Has he been receiving THAT much hate mail? Ya think????
Pinstripe alternative
on June 30, 2004 at 10:34 pm
I know no one cares, but allow me this one indiscretion on this site. This never gets old…
Indolent Reader
on July 1, 2004 at 11:03 am
Per the Score, Gabor Bako hit a line drive that grazed Kerry Wood’s chin during today’s simulated game.
There are so many things wrong with that sentence, it’s unreal.
Good news, Matt Morris is pitching like ass.
Old news, Matt Morris IS an ass.
Pinstripes or softball jerseys today?
Clement is pitching so it’ll be the blue pajamas tops.
Biggio LF
Everett SS
Beltran CF
Berkman RF
Bagwell 1B
Bizcaino 2B
Ensberg 3B
BAusmus C
Clemens P
Walker 2B
Barrett C
Sosa RF
Alou LF
Ramirez 3B
Lee 1B
Patterson CF
Martinez SS
Clement P
Ah, i forgot that Clement was pitching.
Does he find the pinstripes too slimming?
Blue jerseys go better with my big blue socks
Plus when I get sleepy I can take a nap. I am already wearing pajamas.
Is it wrong for a couple guys to take a nap together in the clubhouse during a game?
Not if I’m involved Kyle
I’m 3-for-3 in murdering rallies today. There was only 1 out this time when the bases were loaded so I hit into another DP instead of striking out again.
Too bad we don’t have anyone who has 76 RBIs to play 3B on the day before an off day.
Sung by Edmuonds-"Rolen, Rolen, Rolen…Get them doggies Rolen"
Sung by Rentaria-"Man my ass is swollen."
Rolen, Edmonds, Rentaria-"Rawhide!"
Pipe down, John. Who’s the genius here, you or me?
Bases loaded, no outs…Man we could break this thing open right now.
Remember guys, we’re the Pirates.
Pirates did their Cubs impression and scored no runs with the bases loaded and no outs.
My goldie locks got in my eyes
Looks like the Beege is ready to make amends for last night.
Obviously, Chip was bery, bery good to me before the game…
Can I take my mulligan?
A foul ball missed here, a bad throw there; this won’t haunt us. Will it?
Much like Mr. Edmonds….We’re at our best when we’re coming from behind.
Wait a sec…I’m at my best when I’m coming from my behind.
Genius, I just struck out again with the bases loaded. This time with 1 out. So that’s 2 Ks and 1 DP with the bases loaded today, and it’s only the 7th.
Professional hitters like me can realy work a count, huh?
What was that, like six pitches?
At this pace, Pat’s afternoon growler is going to last four innings today.
8 pitches time to eat some more
Don’t worry, buddy, I saw Rocky. We’re getting him tired like Rocky did, buddy. I’m a gladiator.
Will I ever get another hit?
The next will be my first off of Clemens. 0-8, 4K lifetime right now.
Must practice play by play for 6th inning appearance.
Moises Alou makes an out.
Aramis Ramirez gets on base.
Lee hits one and that ends the inning.
Maybe I should just bean the guy…
Remember when I was tearing things up a couple of weeks ago.
Man, those were some good times.
I hope I still have some pictures.
5-4 Pirates, bottom 8.
You’re welcome! I’ve got three RBI today.
I’m so glad the Genius left Morris in to give up a fifth run!
My precious Craig walks!!
I can almost hear Chip talking about walking the DANGEROUS Craig Biggio.
See. I knew I heard something. Love ya, Chip.
I hear everything. I can hear the worms burrowing in the dirt.
I’ve got nothing.
Runners at second and third, nobody out in Pittsburgh.
I know the feeling Jose
I’m running for Jim Edmonds! Tony truly is The Genius.
Hmmm, maybe I’ll leave Morris in for the 9th and the 10th.
It cannot be stressed enough how badly I suck.
Bases loaded nobody out and the Cardinals only get one. Renteria grounded into a double play to score Marlon Anderson, then Mabry (surprise!) grounded out with the go ahead run on third.
Due up in the Pissburgh ninth, Stynes, Kendall and Jack Wilson. If anybody gets on Rob Mackowiak.
… and leave Mabry in to make the final out in the ninth with the go-ahead run at third.
Why would anybody get on Rob Mackowiak?
Edmonds, I suppose.
It’s not like he had any pinch hitters available.
I’m in for the ninth in Pissburgh!
I only left 11 guys on base while I was playing 3B. Let’s see what we can do in CF, another position I’ve never played in my life.
I just wanted to extend the inning to tire out Biggio by making him run the bases.
Hector Luna’s in to play third in St. Louis, did Jason Giambi give Rolen his parasite?
Whoever this Chuck guy is, he can keep ripping me. It won’t make him right.
2 out, tie game, nobody on, time for another patented Jack Wilson inside the park double + a 2 base error.
i stink
I’m in center field!
i stink
i stink
According to Yahoo, with 2 out and men on 1st and 3rd, Jose Mesa is coming to the plate.
Base hit by me would win it.
We have runners at first and third in the ninth and two outs and Craig Wilson is due up, well, I mean should be due up, but I double switched and now it’s Jose Mesa. So I have to use one of my tremendous pinch hitters…Bobby Hill.
Well, Bobby Hill, so it might as well be Mesa.
0-5, 11 LOB.
This has got to be some kind of record.
The E-ramis trade just paid yet another dividend.
Pirates win!
Base hit by me did win it. Most I ever did for the Cubs (other than being trade bait for E-Ramis)
My brother in law thought it was soooo funny when the Cubs went to Pittsburgh and lost three of four at the end of May.
Well, Cardinals boy, we’re even now.
Muahahahahahahahahaha.
I know better than anyone that Julian Tavarez is the man you want pitching with the game on the line.
Thank you, Bobby Hill. Swept in Pittsburgh. Wonder how many pitches Mouthbreathin’ Matt hurled today?
Vizcaino’s putting the next pitch out of the park, wanna bet?
Dave – 104
I’m still standing in the dugout giving Tony "The Redbird!"
I hate the strike zone
It’s my asthma!
I’ll give you asthma!
Maybe I’ll just walk the ballpark.
You can’t walk me, Matt Clement!
How do you guys like it when I say things like, "Well, let’s see if he’s been observing the game, not just watching it?" Aren’t I clever?
I couldn’t hit a cow’s ass with a banjo.
Chip,
Remember when you fly home this weekend, we’re gonna have another "basketball lesson" in your ass. I mean, in your pool.
Ouch.
Hitting a cow or a bull in the ass with a banjo is harder than you think. It’s almost as hard as getting out from under center without falling down.
Break my bat, then throw it at me.
I’m going to walk Clemens to get to the Beege…
no one ever told Matt to not play with me
How are you going to hit a cow in the ass with Jim Edmonds in the way?
Even I could hit Jim Edmonds in the ass…
Man, I’m better than Houdini.
I’m almost done back here, but what the hell, hit my as with the banjo and let’s see how that goes.
I only stick my head up the bull’s ass because I don’t like to take my butcher’s word for it.
Sorry, I meant MEAT butcher, B.C.
How many times am I going to tell you that Sammy hit his first career HR against Clemens?
I could not hit Roger Clettitte in the ass that time two years ago, though, remember?
74 pitches through four innings. Is that a lot?
Maybe Corey and I should trade spots.
I don’t have any spots.
I walked? Where do I go? First?
It’s been so long, I forgot.
Besides, like I said last night, I don’t know any baseball rules.
Wasn’t I hitting .318 a couple of weeks ago?
Man, I was good!
Moises Alou was lying to the umps! Lying!
I’ll do that to you, Mike.
For you, Roger, the strike zone stretches all the way to Texas.
Ok why am I not at 1st base?
Now that the Pirates Gamecast has ended, can I get a Braves/Marlins Gamecast tonight?
‘Strikes’ two and three to Ramirez look a bit off the plate on Sportsline. Did they look that bad?
See what plate patience gets you E-Ramis?
"Strike" two was in the dirt, and "strike" three behind me…
Ah, "fisted toward left", words to warm the cockles of my heart.
I was at the game last night and saw some horrific umpiring by Dana DeMuth. Is Joyce just trying to make the ‘crew chief’ look better?
Nope, I’m just trying to get a reach-round from Rog.
We’re a little bothered by Moises trying to play us for fools.
When’s the last time I got 4 or more runs from these sad sacks?
morpheus, just because I decided to change the entire strike zone around the 6th inning doesn’t mean I’m a bad umpire…it means I’m a horrible umpire.
Hey Roger, slow down a little. How am I supposed to use my requisite five relief pitchers today?
Actually, Bullinger and Weathers won’t get anybody out, so that’ll help.
Time to make Clement pay.
So the Cardinals aren’t a rival,eh? You’ve got 110 posts already and a third of those were on the Cardinals!
Oh, wait, the Cardinals are your rival.
Sox rule! Whoooooooooo!
How many innings do I have to go today?
A day game after a night one? How come I’m not catching? I could have turned that last pitch into a passed ball, and then my wild throw to second would have scored Beltran.
100 pitches through 5 innings. That’s good, right?
Hey, I’m warming up in the fifth. I can’t believe Dusty’s conceding a one-run game.
Sit down next to me and shut up, Bako. I think its best that neither one of us call attention to ourselves. If Dusty remembers we’re on the team he’ll play us. And if he plays us, we’re one step closer to getting released.
I used to throw 220 a game, you pantywaists. Now get in this headlock and I’ll make a man out of you.
Friday is NIU Alum Day at Wrigley. We’ll honor our most famous alums, including:
Dan Castalenetta, the voice of Homer Simpson
Joan Allen, Oscar nominated actress
Steve Harris, Emmy nominated Actor on ABC’s The Practice
Terry Boers, Assclown radio hack and sportswriter
Andy Dolan, Internet "celebrity"
Ahh, screw it, we’re not claiming Dolan.
My only rival is work and I’m beating it up good.
Work sucks! Whoooo!
I really need to figure out how o be consistent
I can’t even see the game and I know Clement is practically flashing sign language to the dugout that says, "Please take me out!"
Jeez, my first and third pitches to Bagwell were strikes for Clemens!
Memo to the NIU Alumni Association:
Your check is in the mail.
And it’s going to bounce like it’s made out of rubber.
We’re dousing Wuertz in Diesel fuel so he’ll burn more evenly.
Sorry Matt, we won’t even consider a comeback until we’re down by 3 runs.
for Matt Clement
Wuertz.
This is going to get ugly.
Just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any Wuertz.
I’d put Crazy Julian into this spot any day.
… and I’d have John Mabry pinch hitting and playing 2B.
Clement threw 104 pitches and allowed only four hits. That’s tough to do. Actually throwing 104 in four and two thirds and ONLY walking five is tough to do.
Minor league notables:
A-CHC B.Sing 1B 5AB 2R 2H 6RBI .294 – 2 HR (24)
A-CHC B.Dopirak DH 3AB 2R 1H 3RBI .308 – HR (22), 2 BB
FYI-Team USA 16, Team Canada 6 – outscored Canada 66-22 in six-game sweep
Really!
Hell, that was easy.
Take that, you Weurtz-naysayers.
Take it easy! It was just me.
The Astros have left 8 runners on base in five innings.
Only three more to tie me today!
Easy, boys, it was only me he got out. Wait until the rest of the lineup tees off on him in the sixth…
If Wuertz strikes out Vizcaino, does it really count?
It’s STILL June…
#140 – In this case, yes.
Remember last time I was up? I went like 2 scoreless innings then got shelled after that. I swear on Berkman’s fat arse that I won’t do it this time.
For those of you who remember such great films as: "Bases Loaded, None Out" and "Bases Loaded, One Out," you’ll love this sequel.
I’m a doubles machine
It’s just been too cold the last couple of days. The temperature goes up, and so does my batting average. Say what’s it like around here in October?
Arse?
Remember Derrek you like me in Chicago
Don’t worry, I can’t possibly screw up in this situation.
they like to stick these up the Cubs arses..
Oh, but I know someone who can.
Anyone know how to get to 1060 West Addision? I haven’t been there in years.
Can’t get my pants dirty. Yeah, I was safe but I deserve to be out for looking at the play the whole time and still go in standing up. I’m an idiot.
Are you kidding me? Someone take all the fucking Cubs and take them to a fucking little league practice to show them how to fucking bunt and run bases.
Fucking embarrasing.
I’m sorry, am I up at the plate?
cussing.
This umpiring crew are a bunch of Co@c$u@k##$
..from the game, that is.
No Mike, but I am. That’s just as good.
Buh-bye.
Oooh, do I get to play first base now?
What happened?
Get me Kirk Bullinger!
What happened?
Martinez, get your first baseman’s mitt, I’m coming in!
Hoping for a description of what happened…
We’re completely confused.
I think I got kicked out, according to Gary Thorne, but he can’t even pronounce "Macias" correctly, so who knows?
I’m at work, checking in periodically on the game on MLB’s GameDay. Can someone tell me why Baker got ejected?
Bases loaded, 1 down, someone got tossed (nobody knows who).
We’ve got Wuertz up with a 3-2 count.
Two walks in seven days! Look out Rickey Henderson and Barry Bonds, here I come!
We’ve got either Macias or Wuertz up, we can’t decide.
Now we’ve got Macias up with 6 balls and 4 strikes.
I caught that, right? Can I open my eyes now?
Someone with a TV, please help!!!!!
Lee thought he wasn’t out at third, turned out he was, a couple of pitches later, Joyce motioned toward the dugout and threw someone out, then Dusty came out yelling and screaming (all the while, keeping the toothpick in place — you try it sometime, ain’t easy), then Dusty went back sat on the bench and didn’t go anywhere, then Walker hit a SF…whew…
That’ll get the job done.
You mean we scored a run with the bases loaded?!?
Right, but only one, of course.
And lost in the shuffle was that I walked on a pitch that was a strike approximately 30 minutes ago, but that was before Johnnie B. scared the hell out of Jim Joyce, who would have been better off sticking with Ulysses.
Next question: who actually got tossed?
MLB Gamecast is even more confused than me. Uh… I.
Aw, jeez…
I got tossed.
I made that look MUCH more difficult than it actually was…
Is that a bad thing?
Hitting Coach Gary Matthews got tossed.
Hm, the hitting coach gets tossed, and moments later Jose F. Macias ACTUALLY DRAWS A WALK. Coincidence??
Hey, I want to get tossed, too!!!
I wish I’d got tossed.
Jim.
8:00.
My place.
Bring your chaps.
Dagnanit, beat myself to it.
… not for the first time, I might add.
When do Wuertz and I become "vaunted?"
… when you learn to ‘close my door’ like the Astros do… did I say that out loud?
I can just keep pitching Beltran, Farns and Hawkins every day, right?
If you don’t mind me giving up homers to every 3rd batter, sure.
is any place Roger throws the ball.
Why do I run like I have orthopaedic shoes on?
…is the Astros defense that they can’t turn 2 on Sammy and Moises?
I’m on the radio right now and I am electric. I’m Mr. Personality. Maybe I can replace Chip next year?
I guess we can turn that one though.
I think it’s a good idea that I’ve got Barrett and Moises batting second and fourth since they’re both so red hot. This lineup would be lunacy…
Walker, 2b
Patterson, cf
Sosa, rf
E-ramis, 3b
Lee, 1b
Alou, lf
Barrett, c
Ramon, ss
Pitcher
Nah, it’d never work.
My clutch is slipping!
Oh for f**k’s sake.
That landed in another zip code.
by the way, I’m not really from Chicago.
Beege you sure are living up to your hype
Oh boy, I can hardly wait to try out today’s strike zone.
What the hell is going on?
I just hit my second solo homer of the day.
I decided to get cute & actually try to describe that HR.
I’m now the only announcer in the history of baseball to stumble & spit all over myself during "going…going…GONE!!"
I should have stuck to "here’s the pitch………………………and it’s 2-1 Astros."
OK. I’m too lazy to take the time to check it out for myself. What happened with Lee earlier in the game when he was out…no, wait, safe….never mind. Out.
Stuck watching GameCast .. son of a bitching thing must be broke. Biggio — 2 homers?!?
I really should bat lefty against this puss pot. But I think I’ll make it harder on myself just for kicks.
Well, I guess you can’t fault a guy that blew yesterday’s game (and something else) coming back to hit 2 homers the next day.
Unless, it’s The Beege, of course.
I do enjoy walking guys.
If it would be a good idea for Kent Mercker to throw strikes.
Maybe I’ll throw a strike someday…
Tell me again why they took me out…
It’s hard to swing with an enormous fork sticking out of your back. I really should retire now.
Like that, you mean? Just as well, one more walk was going to give me an aneurysm.
Well, that was an electric, personalitytastic rendition, Ryno. Don’t get too comfortable in here just yet, son.
Remember when I used to own the Cubs?
The last two years, 19-91 (.209) four homers, nine RBI.
I miss the good old days.
And my shoulder.
And my Andro.
We got a baserunner to drive in!
Still June, bitch!
I wonder how I’ll be tomorrow?
You know what might be nice? To have somebody on base when Derrek Lee comes to the plate.
OK, ya buncha fkkrs. Thanks for letting me know what happened with Lee.
Oh. And one more thing. NO GOOGLE CLICKING ON MY PART. SO HA!
That strike three call was so bad I actually yelled "baloney!"
You know what might be nice? To have Derek Lee on base when Ramon comes to the plate.
Re: #226
Got a problem with us?
And you’ll be glad to know that I lost my baloney sandwich in the top of this inning, Ronnie!
I actually cost you two outs with that bad strike three call.
You think I have a God complex? I am God!
I cannot let Roger Clemens face the great Tom Goodwin! Must use bullpen!
Wait, the home plate ump has told me that anything Roger throws will be called a strike. How nice of him.
Both Clemens and Clement with 4 H and 5 BB, with Clement going 104 pitches in 4 2/3 IP and Clemens sitting at 99 pitches currently through 6 2/3 IP.
Pitch efficiency anyone?
The reality of Roger’s seventh inning.
Lee, singled to center.
Patterson walked.
Ramon walked.
The Jim Joyce version.
Lee singled to center
Patterson struck out on a pitch a foot inside, Lee out trying to steal second.
Ramon walked.
There’s a little difference there, no?
Well, I guess it was a strike.
Hey, if I take pitches and they’re strikes anyway, I’ll just get back to swinging at anything.
Then again Clemens does have 6 K’s to Clement’s 5. Maybe thats why he’s got a higher pitch count. (wait he doesn’t!)
Hey Dolan! Screw you, I’m on fire!
Whoooooooooooooooooo!
I could have turned that grounder into a hit.
How often do I touch home plate?
On defense, at least.
David Justice has never met me…..
Just hit it to The Beege.
Dave Justice has met me!
David Justice knows me very well.
Dave, remember us?
Erm, actually, pretty much everybody has met me.
Mike Tyson has met us.
Did Ron just call out the ump saying that the last pitch would be a strike for Clemens? Where’s thais broadcaster been for 10 years?
Why does it seem like it’s 10-1 instead of 2-1?
By the way, the Cubs are going to run out of pitchers soon.
I remember when I used to get the strike calls that Clettitte gets. Those were the days. I miss those days. Excuse me while I dry my tears on this huge pile of cash.
I met Jim Edmonds.
Clang!
I met my teacher.
I just said that if you’ve only got one hand you should catch the ball in the webbing of your glove not the heel.
Pete Gray is nodding in his coffin.
Can I please replace Womack in STL next year so that Albie & I can each win our first career Gold Gloves in ’05?
I’m obsessed with the runner at first! Home run to a crappy hitter coming up!
It’s tears of gratitude in my eyes – thanks, Todd.
Making up for me with a 4-6-3 would be pretty neat.
It’s all part of my plan. I’m going to blind him then pick him off.
Creeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaak….
I’d have sent him, too.
You do me proud, Barrett!
Does Wendell Kim coach 3rd base for the Astros too?
Am I coaching third for the Astros?
Did you ever notice that the guy who gets run over to end the inning usually leads off the next one with a homer?
How’s the visibility?
I didn’t do that last play justice.
HOU
Lamb singled to center, Ensberg out at home
Sure would have liked to witness that one first hand! Was it a Corey throw or cut-off? Cause a 7-2 putout would hurt a lot of Desipio readers feelings.
Lottery numbers, please.
How many times does it happen…
Steve, you’re a scary man.
OK, 268 and Steve, that’s just creepy.
OK, 268 and Steve, that’s just creepy.
Nice call steve
I got in the middle of it to atone for my error.
I’m sure Chuck will find a reason to bitch about Corey’s end of it, somehow.
OK now i’m showing
HOU
Lamb singled to center, Ensberg scored.
Houston 3, Chicago 1. What the fuck!
I’m patting myself on the back.
I’m doubling down on Sammy’s homer right here.
Little help.
Please?
Does that make me half right?
You know, they actually "pay" people to input this data.
I think any of us on here would do it for free.
No. 278 – Yeah, I couldn’t bear the thought of Roger Clemens losing a game I umped, so I reversed the call. We’re still in the top of the 8th.
I’m no Steve Stone, but I bet I’ll pee on my hands after the game.
and the ivy.
Sammy could have run to third, I can’t throw the ball more than nine feet.
Am I walking Moises to get to E-ramis?
I deserve to get fired before this inning ends.
Love that no out magic
What?
I can’t throw the ball because I hurt myself running into Michael Barrett.
Dan or Tony? Discuss.
What’s the opposite of vaunted?
What?
Bring on Brad Lidge! I shall smote one to the Avenue of Waveland and send my legions of fans into wild postulations of celebration!
Hey, I am one of the Three Musketeers after all!
Unvaunted? Avaunted?
Did you ever notice that the guy who ends the top of an inning by running into the catcher usually makes a two-base error in the bottom of the inning?
I shall also learn that the present participle is "smite".
Don’t worry E-ramis. I got this. I’m going to end June with a bang.
Let me show y’all my dangling participle.
Really, is it that hard?
Sportsline is calling me Danny. These paid data inputters really fucking suck (along with Yahoo)!
Desipio is more efficient at internet play-by-play (even with the routine "Jim Edmonds is gay" call).
Shit! Hey Moises I hit it to The Beege. He caught it?
#299 – Yes, sweetie, it is.
samantha, all the way
#299, you’re damn right.
By the way guys, I’m on the market again.
…or my watch has stopped.
Groucho
Not now, Alyssa, there’s a game on.
Alyssa:
Can you bat leadoff or play short?
Is this Korey coming of age? Right here?
Or is he just a Cora wanna be?
and hits a homer, I’ll buy everyone here a pizza.
Did you like my 11 pitch walk?
Do I still suck?
Fuck you guys!
I put John Mabry in to pinch hit here.
That was some AB by Corey. He still has that whole baserunning riddle to figure out, but he’s getting better.
After that 11 pitch at bat, the average number of pitches seen by Corey.
Please pinch hit for me!
I like to kill the Astros, remember?
If nothing else, Lidge won’t be around for the ninth, now.
Sure he will Andy!
Who’s left? Kirk Bullinger?
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Nice cans, huh?
Nice swing, huh?
Wait, wait – you’re saying that above the knee is a STRIKE?
Too good to be true.
Well, that only took me 24 pitches.
I’m saying that the last pitch was rolling.
Now will you guys please pay attention to me?
Ok, we’ve got Hawkins and Frank (Solo Homer) Beltran left. Please score a run.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Don’t hit it to me.
Hmm, Bullinger, Gallo, Weather and Harville in the pen? This game’s in the bag.
HAHAHAHA!! Oh, man. Sorry guys, for sucking so damn much today. My bad.
I’m in to play short and I’m leading off the ninth!
I got that, buddy!
According to our pitch locations Ramon should have been on first.
Actually, it’s Frank (Swung On) Beltran.
Somebody got Biggio out!
This is the longest 2-2 9-inning game I’ve ever seen.
Have the Cubs and Astros moved to the American League?
Is Pudge Fisk catching?
Hey, I caught one!
I should just tank this thing so I can get traded back out of Texas before the deadline.
I’m good.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
Is noisier than Wrigley right now.
I still hate Texas
Well, I guess someone scored a run.
Whew. Glad I got out of that without blowing a save.
I’ll get it right back. I’m due!
Well, at least you didn’t have to use me!
I’ll be in tomorrow’s game, that’s for sure!
That’s right, I suck. I’ve now given up 11 runs in 41 games. I’m horrible.
If we tie this, I’m playing shorstop!
For an inning there, I thought I was back from the dead.
Well, Lidge is still in. Theoretically, he should be tired.
Theoretically.
Kyle Farnsworth and a minor leaguer for Beltran.
And he hits .500 at Wrigley.
I don’t think so Gruddy!
Theoretically’s looking like a loser.
Can I do it again?
When did I have that big game in Houston…Two months ago?
Have I gotten three hits since then?
Theoretically, I shouldn’t hit 2 HRs in the same month.
Nope.
Thanks Cubs, for making me work hard again in the 9th for this save.
No more favors from us, since you can’t capitalize.
Lidge should be good for thre or four inings tomorow, to!
Not a gripe on today’s game in particular, and it isn’t anything nobody else has said, but I’d rather be seeing Derrek Lee in the #2 spot with his .379 OBP (.355 career) over Michael Barrett’s .342 (.314 career).
Also, Lee started the month at .341 to rise to his current total. Barrett started at .370 to drop to where he’s at now.
This would have left Lee as the last man to bat in today’s game. Then again, Barrett wouldn’t have been able to lead off that inning with the magic homer. Sure the magic worked today Dusty but lets see some shufflin!
Have any of you’s noticed that ever since Chip came back from that Sox VS Cubs "break" he’s been acting more like a CUBS announcer than a "I’m neutral and root for whoever’s winning…especially when its St. Louis or the Astros" announcer? When those homeruns from the oppossing team went out of Wrigley I did not hear Chip get all excited and almost clap his hands with joy. I heard an "uh-oh" from him when Beltran hit his in the 9th!!! Has he been receiving THAT much hate mail? Ya think????
I know no one cares, but allow me this one indiscretion on this site. This never gets old…
Per the Score, Gabor Bako hit a line drive that grazed Kerry Wood’s chin during today’s simulated game.
There are so many things wrong with that sentence, it’s unreal.
I am clearly not ready to return, now.