Time will pass between Sammy Sosa’s last game and his induction to the Hall of Fame (five years, to be exact) and in that time the band of nitwits who claim to be Cubs fans, and yet see fit to moan and complain about the greatest player the franchise has ever known, will talk glowingly of what a great player Sammy was. Those same nitwits booed Sammy yesterday after a fifth inning strikeout only to fill their pants with glee as he sent them home happy in the tenth. The fact that America in general, who voted him into the starting outfield for the All-Star Game in two weeks, has a better handle on Sammy than half of his own fans do is, to quote a great man, a traveshamockery.
There are plenty of people to boo in Chicago. You can boo whoever’s playing shortstop for the Cubs, whoever’s trying to get somebody out in the sixth inning for the Sox, you can go down to Wacker and boo the bums and steal their mattresses. But if you really must insist on booing Sammy…I’m sure there are still some good seats available in the Big Urinal Cake. Go root for the Cardinals. You’ll fit right in.
For me, other than watching Brad Lidge’s neck snap back like Princess Di in the Mercedes, was seeing Michael Barrett tag out Morgan Ensberg, as Ensberg was trying to steal SECOND BASE. You won’t see this every day:
There was plenty of good news for the Cubs. The Franchise got off to a rocky start and then was dealing from innings two through seven. He got into a little trouble in the eighth and Kent Mercker came in to throw Carlos Beltran a little batting practice. That wasn’t so good.
But The Farns bailed the Cubs out for two innings and our pal, The Ice Man Jon LeICEster showed everybody how easy it was to get Beltran out and Sammy decided to save Brad Lidge from the unnecessary wear and tear that Jimy Williams was trying to subject him to, so he only made Brad throw one pitch. What a guy.
For those of you who live in Iowa (sorry—that you have to live there) Kerry Wood is coming to Des Moines next week. Then it’s off to St. Louis for Kerry for a start next Sunday night. Alex Gonzalez could return about the same time. Wouldn’t it be nutty if the Cubs actually had their whole team together at the same time?
That’s just crazy enough to work.
Too bad I’m not.
I didn’t get to see the game, but I did see the highlights ad nauseum today on SportsCenter and my favorite moment of any non-Cubs game this year came in the first inning of the Red Sox-Yankees game last night. Gary Sheffield was batting and on two straight pitches he called time out just after Pedro Martinez started his windup. The umpire probably shouldn’t have even acknowledged Sheffield’s time outs, but he did, and Pedro was rightly P.O.’d. So what did he do? He drilled Sheffield with the next pitch. I loved that.
In the top of the 13th the Yankees had to use an odd infield because in the 12th Derek Jeter went face first into the stands and cut himself up on a tremendous catch. So he had to leave. The Yankees were forced to shift Alex Rodriguez to short (he’s only the greatest shortstop of All-Time) and bring Gary Sheffield in to play third. Somewhere, Gary Sheffield fantasy league owners all over America began to weep with joy. Joe Torre had to take Bernie Williams out of the DH role and move him to the outfield and the Yankees ended up having to pinch hit John Flaherty because when you bring the DH into the field, you have to start batting the pitcher in whatever spot in the lineup the DH has replaced. Flaherty singled to win the game.
That sound you heard? That was the Red Sox’ hearts bouncing off the floor.
Peter Gammons reported that the Red Sox are interested in a Nomar Garciaparra for Matt Clement trade. Now, I’m not the GM of the Cubs and in the pecking order I’m somewhere behind Sanjay and his Slushee machine, but I’d do it if I were the Cubs. I know it’s nuts, because Clement has pitched well and the Cubs still don’t have Wood back and you’d end up with the return of Sergio Meat Tray for at least a week. But all you had to do was see Nomar sitting on the bench last night while the rest of his team stood on the top step. The game goes 13 and Terry Francona can’t find a spot to use Nomar? Nomar’s looking for a home. Let him spend the last three months of this year in Wrigley and I guarantee he’ll stick around. You know Clement’s leaving. Hell, you could move the Ice Man into the rotation if you had to.
See, aren’t you glad I’m not the GM?
Somewhere in the heartland Jake Potter is in the fetal position trying to deny to himself that Coach K might actually jump from the comfortable womb of Cameron Indoor Stadium to the flash and dash of the Staples Center. Apparently the Lakers have given Coach K four years and 40 million reasons why he might want to take a stab at coaching Shaq and Kobe. Ten million dollars a year? How can you turn that down? Kobe wants Coach K, and the Lakers will do whatever it takes to make Kobe happy. If Coach K stays at Duke, Duke fans will have Shaq to thank, because the one huge doubt that gets thrown into this decision is if the Lakers job is worth any amount of money if a) Shaq’s not happy or b) Shaq’s not there at all.
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Sammy didn’t want the Astros to miss their flight out of town.
Get your tickets for July 6 in Des Moines!
Sunday night will be quite the booze-fest.
Ozzie doesn’t like the Wrigley Field visitor’s clubhouse. And we’re supposed to care, why?
Paul Sullivan wonders of Magglio won’t stick it to the Sox this offseason by moving north about eight miles.
That laughter you heard was Kobe Bryant on the phone with the Bulls.
That splat you heard was Mariotti putting down the doughnut and jumping on the Sox bandwagon. You can have him. It’s the only bandwagon in town with enough room for his fat ass, too.
John Jackson on the Sunday night game and on the Cubs telling Chip they’re going to negotiate with him on a new contract…not necessarily sign him to one…just negotiate one.
The Wizard of Roz says Hendry is right to take his time.
Marc Stein on Coach K’s big decision.
Rick Pitino says Coach K’s multi-versatility will serve him well in the NBA. Pitino just wants Coach K out of his way.
Surprise! Dick Vitale thinks Coach K should stay at Duke.
Bernie Lincicome is leading the US Women’s Open? Can he do that?
Seth Davis says Coach K’s not leaving.
Captain Caveman said last week that he and Dirk Nowitzki were going to play together the rest of their careers. Uh, Steve, Dirk’s not a Sun.
John Donovan on what the contenders need to get over the hump. He seems to think the Cardinals already have enough (hah) and so do the Cubs. Huh?
Jim Hendry might be after Scott Sullivan and/or Ugy Urbina. He passed on Ugy last year, and all it cost him was the pennant. Ouch.
America’s finest news source on an amazing Arkansas man who can name all 50 states.
Last week at this time, I was predicting a Cubs’ sweep. Of course, that was before I realized how brilliant the Blizzard of Oz was. Or something.
I’m so phucking sick of hearing how much these guys love each other.
Can we officially raise them to Clettite status?
Andy, that Clement for Garciapara rumor sounds like something I made up on the spot on Baseball Tonight.
Has been rewritten by Joliet’s Brandon Sing. 25th HR of the season, leaves him just eight short of the FSL record.
Can Brandon Sing play shortstop?
Yeah, I’m sorry I live in Iowa, too. Unfortunately, I have a big high school baseball game to umpire Tueday night (yes, we play high school ball till late July out here), so I won’t be heading to Des Moines.
I’ll bet if Clement got traded to Boston, he’d either crap his pants in the airport or on the mound at Fenway.
Damn, a Princess Di headsnap joke?… I’m not even sure I would have gone there.
I’m not yet in the fetal positions, but I’ll be sorta rocking back and forth like Atlanta’s pitching coach or Rainman for the majority of the weekend.
And the Godfather (i.e. Brando), dead??? Worst week ever!!!
I’ll be used to lower Brando into the dirt.
I’ll be used to make a steamy porno with Brando in hell.
I’m what Brando used to wipe his ass.
Stop stealing my bit #4. You’re about 18 hours too late…
I am a non-prospect who was drafted in 1999 and am still in A Ball.
I’m glad TW claims I am his "bit."
Maybe TW & Tocco can recount my stellar Lugnuts years.
We haven’t heard from Brandon Sing in so long, we thought he was released.
Keep it up Brandon! Third season in Daytona is a charm!
July 1:
Iowa beat Omaha 5-4. Hubbard 4-5, Wellemyer 2 IP, Mitre Win, Szuminski Save.
West Tenn swept Montgomery 5-4, & 2-1. Mike Mallory two 2B; Yoon Min Kweon DH.
Daytona lost to Jupiter 3-1. Adam Greenberg 3-4, RBI.
Lansing lost to Clinton 5-1. Kevin Collins out 4 weeks w/separated shoulder.
Love,
Chuck Wasserstrom
I’m in for that trade to happen. But of course Boston will want more. I’d say give them Gonzo, Clement, Goodwin, and Bako. In exchange we’ll take Nomar, a bullpen pitcher, and whatever kind of catcher they want to give us(we are really not picky in this area, anybody would be better than Gabor.
We don’t need Clement. We have plenty of guys that can pitch. We just have to get a healthy Wood back.
Then we’re set to make a run.
That’s moran spelled backward, in honor of the idea that Boston would consider it "more" to have the right to waive Goodwin & Bako and pay Gonzo’s salary in that trade scenario.
Even when it’s all imaginary, at least try to make some sense. Or find Chuck Swirsky and phone it in to him.
I have a frayed rotator cuff and won’t throw for 2 weeks. Sounds to me like they’re a-frayed to just say I’m done for a long while.
Re-trading Beltran before the deadline is becoming more likely every day.
At least you’re posting original stuff Chuck. The Sing bit I posted almost word for word yesterday.
What do you mean, have our whole team together? Aren’t you forgetting about me? I’ve got a frayed rotator cuff too!
I’m taking today off. That should make things a little easier for the Cubs. The same can be said for Bako and Rey.
Jesus Christ TW, what the hell is the big deal? I think you posted it during a Gamecast.
Kinda like announcing a firing on Friday.
I’ve been traded to Boston. Is the PTBNL Nomar?
And I got fired.
#23, please quit repeating me.
Brenneman & I were speculating on this last night.
This is MY bit!!!
Sorry about that, it’s so hard to keep up with the patents on bits. Did you already do the bit about my resemblance to Bill Cowher?
If Nomar can’t get excited for that great Yankees/Red Sox game last night, I don’t want him on this Cubs team.
Someone posted a picture of me the other day…The bit has already been claimed.
And BTW, Brenly hit a robust .256 w/o me in Single A.
So does this mean Grace goes into the dugout & this senile old pud gets a full time gig next to tHom?
anyone notice that Nomar and Moran have the same letters? What’s that called, j-boys?
Of course, so does Ramon and Roman, so it proves nothing.
Herpes,
If I recall correctly I wasn’t making a big deal out of it. All I did was point out that I posted that exact "bit" of informaition word for word about 18 hours prior to #4’s post. If people want ot post notable minor league updates on what the Cubs farm system is doing I couldn’t care less. It’s not like I invented sports updates. Just don’t repost what I’ve posted as an original thought.
Why don’t you blow this more out of proportion?
fellas, it’s ok. Post anything you want, as long as it isn’t pictures of the new Sux mascot going down on the new Sux manager, pictures of Sharon Panozzo pressing her face against glass, or any other type of porn.
Is someone making a big deal of nothing? Ban their IP address!
oh, and no points for the Princess Di ‘joke’, either.