Find Chicago Cubs Tickets and Bears Tickets
It’s been quite a year for the Houston Astros, huh? They were supposed to be one of the best teams in the National League once they added the ambigously gay duo of Roger and Andy Clettitte, they then traded for the best player on the market in Carlos Beltran and Roger Clettitte got to start the All-Star Game at home, in Houston, for the Astros.
Except they’re in fifth place, Beltran is about to be re-traded, they had their manager sitting in the dugout last night even though the world knows he’s going to get fired today and then Roger Clemens goes out and gives up six runs in the first inning. Muahahahahahahaha! The only thing more perfect was that the damage could have been limited to three runs, except for an error on an easy grounder to the second baseman…Jeff Kent. Houston Astro Jeff Kent.
What was with Fox’s ridiculous Blues Brothers parody? We’d all seen the commercials for about two months leading up to the game, and they were mediocre at best. But did they really need to drive the managers into the stadium in ’70s cars with suicide doors in them? And how great was it that Jack McKeon couldn’t get out of his? Wouldn’t the whole Blues Brothers thing have been more appropriate last year when the game was in Chicago? How obvious is it that they came up with the idea last year but didn’t use it, then just recycled it this year?
Was it just me, or was Jeannie Zelasko dressed like she thought she had a guest starring role last night on the OC? And what was with the hair? It’s what her hair would look like if she had six twelve year olds do it for her at a slumber party.
This will prove how much I obsess over stupid things. When I saw that Carlos Zambrano was finally forced to pitch wearing his home whites, I was hoping he’d go 1-2-3 just to make him think the good looking uniforms were lucky, instead of those hideous blue tops he always picks. And yes, I swore at the TV when Fat Lance Berkman proved to be the only person (not player, mind you, person) in the stadium who couldn’t catch up to Alex Rodriguez’s triple. Now Carlos will never pick the white pinstripes.
You know why so many Astros fans took pictures of Carlos Beltran when he was introduced last night? Because they’ll want photographic evidence that he ever played for Houston.
Danny Kolb’s deal with the devil expired this past weekend, right?
Was I the only one who saw the AL and NL starting lineups walking through the stands and thought, “Hey! The middle of the first round of the NBA Draft has broken out!” That’s my favorite part of the NBA Draft, the “Price is Right” moment when some foreign guy who didn’t know if he’d go in the first round sits in the stands and then runs down the aisle when David Stern says, “Vladimir Stupevich, come on down! You’ve been drafted by the Utah Jazz!”
What genius came up with the idea of having the players risk life and limb by walking across the dugout in spikes, anyway? Half of the guys wore running shoes so they wouldn’t fall off the dugout and have a Tony Lasorda like All-Star Game memory on video.
I’m pretty sure Pudge Rodriguez stayed in the bullpen to warm up Mark Mulder just to avoid the dugout roof walk-o-death.
I was openly rooting for Albie Pujols to fall off the dugout and break his hip. This didn’t happen. Oh, well.
Was Lance Berkman the fattest, slowest center fielder it he history of the All-Star Game? Unless Greg Luzinski ever played center, he was.
I just don’t get why Houston fans love Roger Clettitte so much. Just what has he done for them? Led them to fifth place?
Fox had a mic on Jack McKeon during his pregame pep talk. It went like this.
Fellas, this is a big game for all of us. If we win…it’s pudding for everybody!
I’m only going to write this one more time, Roger Clemens never retired. He pitched in the World Series, then showed up for Spring Training. When did he retire, actually. Personally, I retire every day at noon then come back to work at 1 p.m.
What Fox missed, despite their huge array of cameras was Sammy Sosa giving Roger Clettitte the “Steve Kline salute” after Roger made Sammy run about 800 feet in 30 seconds chasing down the rockets he was giving up to right field.
I have seldom been happier during one of these All-Star Games than I was watching Roger get lit up by the American League. It was a thing of beauty.
By the way, if I was Mike Piazza this would have been my conversation with every batter during that first inning. “Here comes a fastball!” Or, “This one’s the splitter, lay off it. I’ll get you a heater next pitch.” In fact, that may have happened. I hope it did. Roger deserves that.
Nice of Alex Rodriguez to wear Pat Boone’s shoes for the game.
Anybody else notice that Harold Reynolds was the guy who caught Albert Pujols’ automatic double to centerfield? The Baseball Tonight set was just to the right of The Biggio Hump in center field and the ball bounced over the wall and right to Harold.
When Mark Mulder hit Scott Rolen in the ass it was the biggest bruise Rolen’s had there since he stopped rooming with Lassie Edmonds on road trips.
In the bottom of the first, Fox had a shot of Jack McKeon talking to Roger Clettitte and patting him on the back profusely. I think Jack was trying to dislodge whatever caused Roger to choke so badly.
Joe Buck said, “I’m sure McKeon will consult with Clemens’ manager Jimy Williams, since he’s sitting there, but I’d guess Roger is done.”
The conversation went like this:
Jack: Hey Jimy, I think I’m going to pull Roger before he gives up another six runs in the second.
Jimy: Pitch him as much as you want, who gives a s@#$? I’m fired.
I acutally enjoyed the “Pudge Loves Yanni” bit. Is there any doubt that Pudge is a little swooshy now? First he kisses Ugy Urbina after saves, now he likes Yanni?
I liked the audio they had of Joe Torre threatening to go scare Mark Mulder by telling him he wanted him to bat in the third against Randy Johnson.
Stevie Loaiza got to pitch and he walked Barry Bonds. With a five run lead. Pansy.
The Lawnmower made his All-Star debut and caused Joe and Tim to go on effusively about how he might have the best stuff on the Cubs. I’m not arguing. I did think it was inappropriate though of former President Bush to comment, “Of all the pitchers on the Cubs, I like the brown one the best.”
Best line of the night– After Fox played a ridiculous conversation between Jason Giambi and Barry Bonds where Jason told Barry he liked his spikes, McCarver said that “In the history of baseball nothing important has ever been discussed at first between the first baseman and a runner.” The next half inning, Joe Buck said, “Now David Ortiz is on first and he and Albert Pujols will discuss nothing…in Spanish.”
Fat Lance is still running after A-Rod’s “triple.”
Joe Torre had quite a knack last night for sitting right behind that pole in the dugout. After 15 All-Star Games (he’s 13-1-1 as a player and manager) Joe just doesn’t give a damn.
What was with Kevin Kennedy’s suit? He looked like a pock faced undertaker.
For whatever reason, baseball felt the need to “honor” Roger Clemens on the field during the fourth inning. It was another chance for us to see Roger’s bimbo wife (Andy Clettitte) and four inbred offspring, and true to form, the fattest, oldest one can still only say, “Go Yankees!”
Jeff Kent’s defense at second base is just embarassing, isn’t it? That performance last night ranked right up there with Charlie Sheen’s in “Terminal Velocity.”
Nice comparison by Fox of Johnny Estrada and Erik Estrada.
Kevin Kennedy actually said this to Derek Jeter, “You had a rough couple of months, but I talked to Sheffield Gary and he said…”
Sheffield Gary? Is that like a British version of the Yankees right fielder? Is that Kevin’s new thing? Is he going to start calling her Zelasko Jeannie?
For those of you who doubt the great Moises Alou, his single last night made him three for his last six. Yes, I’m being obnoxious. It was nice of him to break out the “inadvertant check swing ground out” for the All-Star audience!
Sammy went 1-2 with an RBI, Moises was 1-2 and Carlos should have pitched a scoreless inning. Not bad.
Nice to hear the Old ’97s during the fade outs after half innings. Very underrated band there. Fox did a nice job last night.
Yes, Ruben Studdard was wearing the infield tarp while he was singing “God Bless America.”
And the most confusing line of the night belonged to Tim McCarver, who took a moment to thank Astros owner Drayton McLane for “rolling out the Minute Maid carpet.”
I still have no idea.
—-
Phil Rogers bores the hell out of us with this pedantic All-Star recap. Don’t even bother.
Phil Rogers just figured out that Mark Mulder is pretty good.
Phil (wow three articles in one night!) says that home field advantage aspect of the All-Star Game is likely here to stay. That’s great. Nobody cares, though.
Seabiscuit’s Jockey says that the Cubs first half was weird. What do you expect with the travelling freak show of media who follow the team around. How can you not have a weird half being tailed by a dwarf (Sullivan) a nitwit (Kiley) a weasel (Offman) and the creepiest man alive (Levine)?
The Bulls are going to sign another guy you’ve never heard of.
It’s entirely possible that this will be the Bulls’ opening day roster. Try not to cringe too hard.
Guards: Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, Jannero Pargo, Andres Nocioni, Frank Williams, Moochie Norris, Chris Duhon
Forwards: Tyson Chandler, Luol Deng, Eddie Robinson, Shandon Anderson, Othella Harrington, Ronald DuPree
Centers: Eddy Curry, Antonio Davis
Somebody book Grant Park for late June!
Teddy Greenstein has the easiest job…ever.
Chris DeLuca (in no danger of Mensa membership) says last night was Roger Clemens’ night! Yeah, it went great.
Mike Kiley is always so wrong that if you are hoping the Cubs trade for Nomar, you should now feel free to get your hopes up. This whole thing is just so poorly written I’m surprised it sticks to your computer monitor.
Sammy and Moises want the Cubs to add some offense. They could probably help out a little themselves, too. I’m just saying…
The Wizard of Roz on Jim Stack.
The Clips are dumping salary like they know a new guy is coming. Hmm.
Stewey on the disciplinary additions to the highly addictive NCAA College Football 2004.
The NY Times with a report on the possible three way deal that would send Nomar to the Cubs, pitching prospects to the Red Sox and Randy Johnson to Boston.
Jimy’s out and Yosemite Sam is in.
The Nets are likely to match the Nug’s offer for Kenyon Martin.
Proving he has no idea what he’s doing, Isiah Thomas is now after Erick Dampier.
If the Knicks and Bulls can ever get the Jamal Crawford trade done (don’t hurry, Pax) the Knicks will try and move Allan Houston, his bad knees and his huge contract. Good luck.
The Bush twins are talking. Great! They’re only 22. I could talk when I was like 16 months old.
Little Barbara’s pretty hot.
Britney’s seen better days. I love the “Britney Diet” thing at the end, too.
Jenna Lewis is going to tell “her own story” about whether or not she released her own sex video.
America’s finest news source with the story of Bill Maher’s all-night argument with a Republican hooker.
Find Chicago Cubs Tickets and Bears Tickets
Maybe my Sanka’s gone bad this morning, but weren’t you also fawning over the Olsen Twins earlier this year? That could have been Jake Potter, however. Regardless, do the freakishly elf-like features of those stick twins become a lot less enchanting when they are stacked up against the hefty, cattle rustlin’ stylings of the Bush Twins? Besides, the Bush Twins are booze hounds, not coke whores, like the Star is reporting…
Nice work today, Andy. More one liners than an episode of MASH.
Well, the ones with Trapper and Frank, anyway. And long before I started to write and direct and produce and act and market and cater every part of the show.
What’s this? A Desipio article before 10 AM? 10 AM Pacific? On consecutive days?
Somebody’s having trouble sleeping.
Maybe I can help. Several of your readers have suggested Ivy Chat as a cure.
1) In the first inning, Sammy gave proof that, when the day comes, he can’t bitch about moving to left. Ichiro’s double could have been caught. Key word–COULD. I know it was a shot, but-criminy-it’s an ALL-STAR game. All Stars should be making great plays. And on the "triple", to see Sammy pull his out-of-control "direct route" sprint to a ball that was clearly over his head…that was pretty funny. Funny until it happens in a playoff game, that is. I mean, really. If a 34-year old catcher can get a triple in an All-Star game…well I’m just SAYIN’
2) I think Piazza was telling the hitters what was coming. Not really, but I would love to think that he did. If he did, I would applaud him.
Wow. I must be reporting for the Times again if the Red Sox are getting Johnson -and- prospects when sending Nomar to the Cubs. I guess AZ gets nothing…
I thought that Fox was coming out with a remake of the sitcom "Alice" and Jeanne Zelasko was auditioning to play Flo. I think she told Kevin Kennedy to kiss her grits.
People think *I* was tipping pitches? Anyone want to be Roger was grooving pitches knowing he’ll will be traded back to the Yankees?
My face looks like grits.
I’m a hack, no question, but Jack Curry doesn’t approach my level of inventiveness:
So the Sox get Johnson, Cubs get Garciaparra, and AZ gets prospects.
Yes, it’s true, I’m Andy’s inside source for the Cubs clubhouse. In exchange for information, he bashes all the other beat writers except for me.
There is no truth to the rumor that John Hirschbeck called a balk on Muhammad Ali for failing to come to a complete stop before throwing out the first pitch.
He did, however, shake the catcher off repeatedly.
Jimy’s gone, I’m in. Conference is at 1:00.
I don’t think we have enough time to go further into the tank before the deadline, so don’t be expecting that re-trade of Beltran.
Oh nooooooo! They have Phil Garner now? Of the Milwaukee Brewer Garner’s? The rest of the Central is dead! All quake at the feet of the sub-.500 winning percentage manager! This is the best they could do?
Phil, your 1st 5 games are against, LA and San Diego who you went 2-5 against last week. You guys should have no problem going into the tank (although the 6 games against the Diamondbacks might save you).
Where’s the unemployment line?
Did anybody even notice that Phil Garner didn’t have a job? I’d be more apt to notice if James Garner was out of work.
By the way, young Barbara Bush is hot. I’m sticking with that.
Jenna’s eyes are too far apart and she looks like you’d get a fork in the back of your hand if you went for the last pork chop.
To: Walt Jocketty, Tony LaRussa, St. Louis, MO
From: Satan, Hell (Newark, NJ)
Walt and Tony,
this memo is just to remind you that the deal we made regarding the following players officially expired at the All-Star break: Tony Womack, Chris Carpenter, Jeff Suppan, Jason Marquis, Roger Cedeno, Ray Lankford, So Taguchi, John Mabry, Cal Eldred and somebody named Kiko Calero. In addition, all guarantees of the sustained health of Jim Edmonds, Albert Pujols, and Scott Rolen have also expired. Give me a call, and we’ll do lunch (but not in St. Louis-it’s worse than hell!). Good luck in the 2nd half.
Cordially,
Satan
The Prince of Darkness
Nothing wrong with Jenna that a coupla weeks with Slim-fast couldn’t cure.
Yes, Sammy could have caught the first ball hit to him, but I’m glad that he didn’t hurt himself in a macho attempt to show his "speed" on national TV.
There’s NO way that Soriano wasn’t tipped off on his dong. He knew what was coming, and he just slapped the living dog-snot out of it. Good times…..
You’ll have to speak up, Cubbie Satan, you’re so far back we can’t hear you.
But thanks for stopping by again last weekend, you’re always a good guest.
The Cardinals come to Wrigley Monday and Tuesday. We will kill them dead!
You will kill them dead wearing me!
When does Glendon’s deal with the devil end? Maybe the Cubs can pawn him off on the Red Sox while he is worth something. Then perhaps the Cubs won’t foolishly sign him to a 2-year $1.7 million deal…
How’d all you fellas get in on this deal with Satan? I must have missed the boat.
Aren’t the Astros reaching for some desperate Marlin mimicking by doing the late-season firing and hoping for a phoenix-like rebirth? Phil Garner is really just Jack McKeon, minus the dentures and pudding fixation.
Satan’s got money on the Cubs in the playoffs so Glendon should be fine until Spring Training 2005.
Actually, I love pudding.
It’s a devil-may-care attitude, but why are all guys that have a good year in league with Satan? Is Randy Johnson wearing 666 because he had an injury-filled year last year and is enjoying a potential Cy Young season while being the toast of the trade winds? How can a guy possibly do better this season compared to last without being in bed with the Prince of Darnkess?
Enough with the "the Cards deal is about to run out" talk. They may just be good enough to outlast the Cubs. That doesn’t jive with your "Cubs sweep all teams in the playoffs" jingoism, but the numbers are daunting. Yeah, the Cardinal pitching is suspect, but their offense is quite productive. A few 10-7 victories will raise that team ERA, but they are still W’s…
Read abd discuss:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page3/story?page=williamstarausi/040714
Read and discuss:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page3/story?page=williamstarausi/040714
Everything said on this website is 100% accurate and serious as a heart attack. How dare you question the validity of anonymous jokes???
In response to "No Sale", the Cardinals have been extremely fortunate in that their two best starters (Williams and Morris) are injuries waiting to happen, while their other three starters are having career years to this point. They also had the fortune of playing six interleague games against the two worst teams in the American League, while the Cubs were playing at Anaheim and the White Sox, both at or near the top of their divisions. The Cardinals have had virtually no major injuries and spent little or no time on the DL.
Expecting this fortune to continue through 162 games is optimistic to say the least. And this is a website that focuses on the Cubs, which means we also hate the Cardinals and take every chance we get to make fun of them and their creepy fans.
Big news! I’ve figured out that nobody reads my column! Even though i mock one of the best reads on the internet!
PLUS! i’ve managed to figure out how to bend over and suck myself! I’m cynical, bitter and a great lay (for myself) how can I NOT be as cool as Andy??
Head on over and see how i wash the season away in every post!
Here’s a shock, Dave: I hate the Cardinals too. However, it’s not a blinders-on-while-clutching-my-limited-edition-Ty-Beanie-Baby-Cubbie-Bear hate. I’d like nothing more than to see Williams and Morris crash into each other while walking down the dugout steps. Regardless, they are being held together with duct tape and chewing gum.
Hate to burst your bubble, but the law of averages is actually not a law (pick up your chin off your chest at this point). In fact, the averages might not come around at all and the Cardinal staff could actually keep this up! Horrors! The law of averages figured the Cubs wouldn’t have the amount of injuries they have had, but they did, and all you’ve got is a whine that would make a White Sox fan proud.
True, the Cardinals have had no major sustained injuries. And here’s a scary possibility: They might survive the season without having one. Many winning seasons are born out of injury-free teams, but you already knew that. I would have liked 6 games against the Mariners and Royals, too, but that smacks of the soon-to-be-patented Cubs Hand Wringing(tm).
Two things
1) Dana Taurausi is butt-ugly and nothing Serena tries will hide that.
2) I think the NL Playoffs will include both the Cubs and Cardinals with the only mystery being if the Cubs can catch the Cardinals for the division. Not that it matters.
The Cubs road record in the playoffs last year was 4-2 and at home it was only 2-4. Besides, nothing would be sweeter than going into the Big Urinal Cake and leaving it with a pennant.
No Sale – sorry man, it was just a joke. However, your comparison to Randy Johnson is way off base. The guys listed from the Cards are not rebounding from bad years, but guys who are having very good years that defy their proven track records. Sorry to get your panties in a bunch.
Hey No Sale. You making fun of me?
Yeah, No Sale, you’re also forgetting that in 75% of the games we lost this year, it was because the umps screwed us.
You can look it up (just click on any Gamecast).
I’m way off base on the Johnson comparison, #36? Painting Matt Morris with the "Devil Deal Going Down" brush is way off base. The concensus on this board seems to be that Morris will pull up with an injury. This is based on what? A deal with the devil? I know it’s a joke and all, but because a guy is having a good year and you hate him and his team doesn’t mean he’s getting by on the strength of a Lucifer-penned contract. He’s a 3.4 ERA lifetime pitcher, so he must have the long-term deal with Satan. My point about the Unit was waving the Devil-tinted paint brush at guys is a poor excuse for why they are having a good year, despite any previous efforts at success, sustained or otherwise.
I liked the part of the ESPN Page 3 article where Serena’s posse compliments Taurasi’s legs. Yeah, if you’re partial to tree stumps.
As for No Sale, I’m not wringing my hands. I know the Cubs are finally getting close to having the team they envisioned back in February when they were putting this thing together. They also have a damn good farm system and are willing to spend money to make the necessary moves in the next couple of weeks to improve this team. The Cardinals damn sure don’t have the prospects and are probably unwilling to pony up any cash to make any improvements. They’d better hope the law of averages isn’t a law. But that’s why they play 162 games. We’ll see.
As the resident Sox/Cubs fan (I guess this means I drink lattes while I get my mullet trimmed – though head-to-head I’m with Steve the Sox Fan), I predict two things:
1) The Cubs will come out scorching hot in the second half. I don’t think you can overestimate a healthy pitching staff. That should help the bullpen; and
2) The Sox have a poor, poor West Coast trip, and Stevie Loaiza’s arm falls off. The surging Tigers will once again make things interesting in the AL Central by haunting the Pale Hose.
You’re right, Cubbie Mc! Where’s B.C. when you need a good complainer? If not for that missed call in the Cubs-Cards game where Pujols pulled his foot off the bag on the relay to first with Ramon Martinez hustling down the line, the Cubs would have only lost 5-3!
Hey, No Sale, I think you just summed it up yourself:
"I know it’s a joke and all…"
You say you do, yet you’re still disputing that a deal with the devil is just not possible. Thanks for explaining that. Until you spoke, I was wondering why Dusty didn’t just fashion his own deal with Satan for the likes of Ordonez and Bako.
No Sale – go back and read the names, Matt Morris isn’t one of them.
Keep doggin on the astros, but you forget your crappy season is not much butter then ours.
When did anyone say I had a deal with the devil because all that I’ve heard is that I’m way past my prime and that I’ll get hurt because my elbow or shoulder (whichever one I’ve hurt before) is being held together by a piece of Juicy Fruit.
How cute, we still exist!
I’m the new hitting coach for the Astros!
Let’s hope I teach them how to hit like I did in ’99 instead of ’98.
And let’s hope Stone keeps prnouncing my name GAY-etti when everyone else says GUY-etti.
The thing is that the Cubs were never 5 games up like the Stros were and the Stros have lost 5 1/2 games in the standings since making the biggest deal of the year so far.
No. 47 – Mmmm…butter.
Seeing the ad for the ticket brokers above got me to wondering if anybody had scalped tickets outside Wrigley the past couple of months. I was contemplating a road trip up there for the game this coming Sunday and was wondering what to expect to pay, which guys/locations have the best prices, etc.
Hey, TiC, acknowledging the joke doesn’t endorse it. The Deal with the Devil knee slapper is up there with "You Da Man!" and "He must have drank the Kool-Aid" in the Hall of Fame of Tired and Overused jokes.
Once some of this crowd gets off the "Take my wife, please!" bus, then we can get down to the business of analyzing how the Cardinals have put together a best-in-NL first half.
As for my stance on Morris: Suffice to say that he is not having a great season, but it is effective. Where does this notion come from that he’s due an injury? Do you all have Morris voodoo dolls at home, just below the Ouija board that you use as an oracle to contact the devil and help the Cubs chances?
Why didn’t you guys trade for me 2 months ago and avoid the Rey & Ramon show?
We were just as out of contention back then as we are now. With Gonzalez coming back, trading for me now would be anti-climactical at best.
No Sale is absolutely correct. Sorry, 2004 Cubs, but it’s over. The season should be just end in July. In which case, we won the pennant in 2001! Whoooo!
We interrupt the inane Cardinals/Devil debate with breaking news. Shaq is officially in Miami. The Lakers will look like fools this year and geniuses years 3-10. Also, Barbara Bush is without a doubt hot. Her grand-daughter ain’t bad either. We now return you to your "debate"
No Sale, you’ll never convince anybody you’re not a member of Cardinal Nation.
When The Genius lets them put up the radar readings when Morris is pitching, then we’ll know he’s back.
I’ve jettisoned the Cubs for 2004? Gee, thanks for telling me what I think, #54. Contrary, I tap to Andy’s beat in #35, feeling the Cubs and Cards will both make the playoffs, with the seeding to be the only thing to be determined.
Ending the season in July is what a few of the others here have championed with their "If the season ended today…" talisman rubbing.
#41, thanks for the shoutout.
Sox may do as badly as 3-5 on the "West Coast trip" (who knew Lake Erie drained into the Pacific?), which would temporarily drop us back into second place. But have you looked at the Sox schedule for the remainder of the year, then looked at what the Twins will go through? It’s the opposite of last year’s situation, with advantage: White Sox written all over it.
The Cubs may not even win the wild card if they don’t pick up a big bat. And if me and Kenny Williams get our way, as someone (who was drunk?) suggested in this forum yesterday, Nomar will be switching Sox just so the Cubs can’t have him….
PS — Amen to all the non-love for Fat Roger here today. And because they’re fair game too, let’s pick on his stupid-looking kids. They’re already big enough to take on McGwire’s kid in a cage match any day of the week, with Dale Torborg (aka The Demon) acting as enforcer. And as for Mrs. Clemens, she ought to sue her Nip/Tuck crew….
No, Dave, I’m a member of the "Don’t drink the Trib Kool-Aid" brigade. It’s fine to be a rabbid Cubs fan, but have a grip on reality and acknowledge other teams when they are outplaying you and beating you in the standings. That is all I am trying to import.
I found political funny.
I’ve decided ot share.
http://www.jibjab.com/thisland.html
Did anybody see all of us in the outfield during the late innings of the game last night? That must have been where the Dodgers fans were sitting.
Get there early; I’ve had luck either a few blocks away walking in or getting a table by the street (Waveland) at Murphy’s and keeping my ears open.
Steve,
The west-coast trip I was talking about was the house of horrors that is Oakland, and then the sweatbox that is Arlington, and finally the Mistake by the Lake against the AL All-Star team that are the Cleveland Cartoons. This eight-game roadie is going to be huge.
I’m just stupid enough to engineer a deal to get Nomar and send RJ to the Red Sox! Maybe I’ll throw in Valentin or Uribe! YEE-HAW!
…And I subscribe to the Peter Gammons theory that anything west of Pittsburgh is the West Coast.
I can acknowledge that the Cardinals have played much better baseball during the first half than the Cubs, while remaining relatively injury free. However, I also have to acknowledge that several of their players are playing over their heads, specifically Tony Womack (who’s .319 BA at the break is higher than his career OBP), and Jeff Suppan (carer ERA 4.78). Factor in Jim Edmonds history of bad 2nd halfs, Scott Rolen possibly having knee problems and Chris Carpenter pitching on a surgically repaired arm and I don’t think the Cards will play 20 games over .500 in the 2nd half. If the Cubs can actually play up to their potential, this should be a very entertaining race to the finish.
CT, you’ve summed up in one post what I’ve been hammering on for ten posts.
I heartily endorse this event or product.
Hey IR, I was poking fun at the schedule-makers re: the two-gamer at Cleveland. Though of course, the Lone Star State, despite an abundance of saloons and spitoons, and far more steers than queers, is hardly the West Coast either.
I don’t mind our righty-heavy lineup that much against Oakland, despite our futility against them the past few years. The A’s will be missing Hudson, Rich Harden is eminently beatable, and Zito isn’t Zito these days, so we should score a few runs. Of course, with Chavez back they may well put a few on the board as well, especially considering how they’ve hit for the past month-plus. The Scott Hatterberg that Billy Beane always dreamed of has certainly shown up this year.
CT is a card carrying member of the Red Manace now, too, isn’t he, Dave?
"Late June, you say."
"Yes, we have a vacancy then. When exactly do you invisage needing it?"
"OK, the night of the NBA Draft, got it. Thankyou and good day."
Actually No Sale, I was also the one who posted the "Deal with the Devil" letter. Just so nobody’s happy with me.
Sorry NBA. Grant Park is booked the last week of June.
We’re gonna sell more oversized turkey legs at lunch the first day than wins Chicago NBA teams are gonna compile over the next decade.
Besides. Turkey legs are more interesting than NBA draft picks. And the Matadors devour them.
Along with jerk chicken from Vee Vee’s.
I’m on vacation this week (supposedly) and yet I’m doing Around the Horn. Wow, I’m such a douche.
We’ve just been associated with jay Mariotti? Now that’s insulting to us douches.
CT, I spent most of my career in the AL which is why my career ERA is somewhat inflated.
Woohoo!
Phil Garner!
No Sale – Wanna make a deal for a sense of humor?
78 posts on an off-day?
This site has come a long way since the ill-fated Desipio message board of 2001.
Wait, Satan! You can’t sell "humor" to No Sale! What would I do without it!
I kind of miss the ill-fated Desipio message board.
Kind of.
Like I miss the chicken pox.
I got so pissed when the Cubs sent me to Iowa that I quit baseball and became a writer for The Bright One.
Click!
All Yanni, all the time!
Perhaps Debbie is having an affair with Pudge?
I’m Kris Benson’s wife and my web site is better than Debbie’s!
http://www.annabenson.net
I am not suitable for work.
Elevators, yes. Work, no.
Debbie Clemens: single-handedly restoring good old Texas-style housewifery. So ladies, if you marry a fat millionaire, you too can design rhinestone fashions!
So if I trade for Benson, will his wife be included as part of the package?
Was I the clubhouse bust-up of the 70s/80s Reds or is #79 referring to that old fart, Tom Dreesen?
He was one of Granddad’s favorites, of course.
Hello, Fitness Friends
Guess I see where the K-kids get all their smarts from.
Fire bad! FIRE BAD!!!
Oops! That would be Tom Dreesen. Best known for being a Cubs fan and trying to cozy up to Frank Sinatra.
I guess that makes him the love child of Ronnie Woo Woo Wickers and Mike North.
The Cardinals have performed to a level nobody thought they would. Other than the Rangers, they are probably the team that has most out-performed their expecations.
The only rays of hope I see for the Cubs if they are to win the division:
Jason Marquis only pitched 23.1 innings after the All-Star Break last year, and only 41.1 the year before. So, he should not be used to the grind of second-half pitching.
Carpenter missed all of last season, and only threw 46 innings after the All-Star Break in 2002. Included in that was an impressive 8.44 ERA in three starts in August ’02. Again, another Cardinal pitcher not used to second-half pitching.
Suppan’s ERA jumped almost a run (From 4.25 to 5.11) in the second half the past three seasons. Also, his strikeouts went down sharply in the last three years after the break. So, a Cardinal pitcher whose performance went down sharply in the second half the past three seasons.
That being said, I still think the Cubs are in for a long road if they are to win this division.
Holy Cow, Anna Benson makes Sarah Wood look like a trucker’s wife! Let’s trade for Kris Benson, so I can tap some of that ass!