They can?t hit. They can?t field. They can?t execute.

No, I’m not talking about a nine year-old Little League team.

It?s your 2004 Chicago Cubs!!!

It would help if some of these guys showed a little emotion. You know, go up to the plate with a mission. Throw one up and in if someone?s diving over the plate. Zambrano and Wood, they?ve got that. But a lot of these guys don?t. And it?s going to be needed as we go down the homestretch of the 2004 season. So, let?s hope they start doing that.

Let?s hope they stop acting like they are just happy to wake up, go to the park, play a game, go out and eat, go home and do the you know what, and then go to bed. Get mad that you?re not playing well! That?s all I ask…

As you all know, the Cubs play host to the Cardinals two final times tonight and tomorrow. With this being a two-game series, there are only three possibilities for how the series will go, barring a rainout…

Cubs Sweep:
If the Cubs can sweep, they?ll only be 6 back and might have the Wild Card lead (loss column-wise). Any way, any how, would be good. Comeback games are always nice. Blowouts would be easy on the soul (And the TUMS budget). But let?s just hope the Cubs decide they are going to focus.

Split:
Not great, not terrible. Cubs still 8 back. Hopefully this situation empowers Hendry to make a trade. There isn?t a Kenny Lofton or an Aramis Ramirez easily available though, so who knows if a trade could propel the Cubs to a good end of the season.

Cardinals Sweep:
Bad. Cubs 10 back, and the division race would be over barring the Cardinals missing St. Louis and going straight to Peoria after a road trip. And, really, St. Louis is Peoria, only with the giant wicket. Yeah, St. Louis is a little bigger, has an international airport, a couple sports teams and a beer factory too, but they?re essentially the same place.

Both even have a gambling riverboat across the river from their city…

Peoria has been able to attract some Illinois High School Association state finals events, including basketball.

St. Louis has been able to attract some… Um… Mosquitoes??? Oh, I don?t know…

(East Peoria also got softball from the IHSA, at one of the worst facilities I?ve ever seen, but that?s another story for another time).

Am I digressing? Oh, shoot…

I’ve got to work on my fundamentals too I guess.

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We know that at some point Julian Tavarez or Steve Kline or Tony LaRussa are going to blow up. Wouldn?t it be cool if it happened in one of the next two games?

The Cubs can?t kill the Cardinals (That’s reserved for Carlos), but they can create some doubt within the Cardinals. Two wins can do that.

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But, if we see one of the following situations in tonight?s game, please, just shoot me then…

1. Wendell Kim sends Moises Alou (You can also insert Ramirez, Sosa, and Barrett here) home on a one-out single to center that takes one bounce to get to Jim Edmonds. Please, save us from the 40-foot throw-out, Wendell…

2. The Cubs are down one in the bottom of the ninth. Todd Walker leads off with a double. The next batter, whomever the shortstop is going to be tonight, is asked to bunt him over to third, and promptly pops it up.

3. The Cubs lead by three in the top of the eighth, where Kyle Farnsworth strikes out the first two batters. Then he gets a groundball to short, only whomever is playing there tonight bobbles it. Kyle promptly walks the next 92 batters.

4. Any baserunner forgetting how many outs there are.

5. Sammy, with a runner at third and less than two outs, strikes out again in that situation.

6. Corey Patterson swings at a first pitch a foot above his head.

7. Any starting pitcher gets injured.

Yes, I?m thinking optimistically, aren?t I?!?!?!?!?

Hey, if you wanted optimism about the Cubs today, you should have bought the Trib or something.

That’s it for now.