Pitching matchup
St. Louis: Karen Carpenter 9-4, 3.87 ERA
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano 9-4, 2.61 ERA
We’re going to try something different tonight. Over at cubslive.blogspot.com I’ll be filing audio reports during tonight’s game. It could be funny, it could be sad…who knows?
That’s cubslive.blogspot.com.
2b Grudz
cf Patterson
rf Sosa
lf Alou
1b Lee
3b Ramirez
c Barrett
ss Gonzalez
p Zambrano
Yeah, that’s a sure winner of a lineup. Those sh1ts better prove me wrong and score some runs, though.
What’s our magic number?
Also, Andy, thanks for the "Beat Herpes" link. Very timely, as I just returned from an undeserved vacation.
Finally a website that speaks to ME!
Over on channel 601?
Luol Deng doesn’t jump very high into the air. While playing basketball.
Rolan hits us well….
Well Z had the answer for that, he hit him quite well I’d say
I did an audio update during the top of the first and ended up doing a Masur-like play by play of the Lankford at bat.
Unlike Chip though, I didn’t feel the need to fill every moment with talk.
Anyway, it’ll be up momentarily at cubslive.blogger.com
Make that cubslive.blogspot.com—hel, like you were going to type it in anyway.
Corey "triples" to third. Nice defense by Lankford. I think Ray should petition to play the first inning over again.
grud sucks.
Andy, that’s how we always thought you pronounced "Desipio," but we weren’t sure.
Until tonight. I think.
Deng just dunked, by the way, so my scouting report is a bit off.
.6 innings into the game, and I already want to shoot Ray-Ray.
Kelly, I tried to Beat Herpes, but I was just afraid I’d spread it to other parts of me.
"Uh, it’s the cubs who have…… the games first good opportunity to score."
That is of course if you forget about the guys on 1st and 3rd with 1 out in the top of the inning.
Or when the Cards had them loaded…
Anyone know a good site to follow along with the game on the computer, other than here of course…
Deng is all over the floor, actually. Hits the 20-footer, gets the rebound, nice pass in transition to some guy I’ve never heard of for a lay-up.
That Charlie Pride guy was pretty freaky.
Chip called Matheny the "Berlin Wall". Couldn’t Chip think of a wall that still…I don’t know…exists?
Moises strikes out looking on a pitch that’s a good two inches off the dirt.
Did anybody actually think Sammy and Alou could drive Corey in from 3rd? Why not waste a triple…jeezzzzus.
Yes, another runner at third with less than two outs situation where we didn’t come through!
This is getting REALLY old…
Hot Rod Hundley has called Ben Gordon’s "the Bulls’ 3rd-round draft pick" three times now.
Good God, Alou looks ancient.
I think Chip thinks he’s a cowboy. He just said the Cardinals "mosey" to the plate and he’s fond of saying that somebody is the "first out of the chute."
How about we expose Chippy to some "frontier justice?"
I could have used three days off instead of a trip to Houston.
I turned the DP, bitch!
Kiss a Cubbie good mornin!
Then love him like the devil when he gets back home!
Should I say the Cardinals are from South Peoria now or something?
I’m hosting a new show on FSN!
It’s called, look at my boobs with Summer Sanders!
On my first show, I’ll compare breasts with Sue Bird, Nate Newton and Jannero Pargo!
What would Chip’s list of "Sexiest Athletes" look like?
It’d have to start with Secretariat.
for those of you in the Steve Stone visability pool….
KD, it would have to be Craig Biggio.
Secretariat is reserved for Jim Edmonds…
I’m on the list. Chippy loves some dark meat.
Dusty says "sometimes it seems like it’s miles to home."
Isn’t that a 10,000 Maniacs album?
Me too. He also likes some cream in his coffee.
Time for me to put on my cape…
Alex lit me up! .333!
He broke back into the lineup in a Alex Gonzalez-sort of-way.
Nice hit Alex. Oh, wait…
Someone needs to tell Carlos that that buffet at Sizzler is open to midnight.
Slow down, fatty. You’re going to give me my biggest seizure since the Sonic the Hedgehog era.
Over-under for the Cubs’ score tonight: -7.
Yeah, Z pitch more like me
sllooowww and sucky
Carlos is at 42 pitches after three innings.
Are these the final two games between these teams this year?
Really?
Why didn’t anybody talk about this?
Where’s that gold glove, Albie!
I’m stealing second. I’m going after Matheny’s gold glove, now.
Notice the Klass Actt behind the plate with the "St. Louis Sucks" t-shirt?
I know you is, but is you ain’t?
Which will put me at 224 pitches after 16 scoreless innings…
Unless I get my own hits…
The back of that shirt says
Houston Swallows.
Chip thinks that’s the name of the Houston WNBA franchise.
This one’s only going 12.
The balding woman just over the ump’s right shoulder is just not HDTV ready.
It’s not our night if Patterson hits into double plays.
If you had 7:57 in the "Chip refers to a pitcher running the bases" pool, you win. Hell, we all lose.
E-ramis throws one into the stands.
The pitcher running the bases is my favorite new theme, in case you hadn’t noticed. Even though, Carlos jogged to first and then to second, I’m sure he’ll be exhausted.
The Cubs might want to find a new place to pitch Lassie.
Whee!
Ass-play makes Jimmy a happy boy!
2-0.
FIGHT!
We need this.
F— off, Lassie.
Don’t hurt me, my groin is still score!
If I get pissed off, you know Edmonds pulled some of his typical bullshit. I’m the least likely guy to go ballistic.
Five bucks says Jim came back out of the dugout with his Gimp mask on.
I’m tellin’ ya, Cubbies: the harder his nipples are, the better he hits.
Let’s say Lassie charged the mound. How many pieces would he be in when Carlos got done with him.
And, I’ll bet, judging by the replay that Edmonds said something to Carlos before Carlos started yelling at him. You could see Carlos look at him, then his eyes got big, then he yelled.
Of course, Chip and Steve will always take the side of the other team. Why should they change now?
Watch it, Barrett! We don’t need to add Bako to this fiasco of a lineup.
You don’t want Barrett getting tossed. We saw that movie.
Gordon is playing brilliant ball over at 601.
I’ve never seen anyone give a Jesse Orosco-esque exultation after giving up a 500-footer, ‘los.
It looked like Edmonds said something when he got to first base; there was some sort of fist pump, too.
Andy, time for a refresher for our newer readers on why Edmonds is Lassie.
I probably said, "Game over"…because even though I’m a complete dick, you know it’s true. 2 runs is nearly insurmountable!
If you strike him out, he doesn’t get to say anything.
But when the seams hit the pavement, the forum is open.
whooo boy that fight really did enliven the Cubs bats huh
How come no one complains that Moises swings at the first pitch EVERY time he’s up? Or at least a check swing.
Jim Edmonds, simply, molests collies.
He hits long home-runs, too.
And once those pants are on, he makes Gold records.
That red x is pretty hot, too.
I can’t find my Lassie photo.
This’ll have to do.
Can’t we just give me to everybody (and that means you too, Smmy) for the first pitch for an entire game or three?
Hey Chip, I don’t know "A windy night at Wrigley Field" but I can sing "Rainy night in Georgia."
Randy Johnson never said he wanted to play for the Cardinals. He said he wanted to play for a team that’s going to make the playoffs. Writers assumed that meant the Yankees or Cardinals.
Great home run call there by Chip.
He’s completely overmatched by a baseball game.
So can I.
On another note…
In four years people will be asking (and not remembering) who got drafted ahead of Ben Gordon.
I think Johnny Pax is 3-3 in first round draft picks.
Boy, I tell ya, that Carpenter is throwing a great game. Sometimes good pitching beats you! Interestingly enough, it never seems to beat the teams we play but it beats us helluva lot!
KD,
Is Mario Austin the "Russian Eldgrige Recasner?"
I have no idea where that came from.
He was the "Russian Mel Turpin," but it looks like he’s lost a lot of weight since being drafted in 2003.
He’s probably the "Russian Adam Keefe" at this point.
I just called Renteria’s basket shot a "long home run," despite the fact that I thought it was a fly out when it was hit.
We’d be 30 games over if I’d stay healthy!
If the Cardinals hit Zambrano, his dismembering of Carpenter will make Farnsworth-Wilson look like Hagler-Hearns.
There is nothing superfluous about Eldridge Recasner.
He’ll give up his right lung to make sure you get home alright.
Ouch.
I’ll take care of this potential rally.
Why don’t we remember how we lit up Carpenter on the 11th?
Take the curve, hammer the fastball?
Is it that hard?
Little known fact. I was both Eldridge and Mario’s agent.
WAS.
You mean you can score when you hit a fly ball with a man on third and less than two outs?
What, buddy? I like to "hammer" the 3-0 pitch off the plate right to Karen!
If we take pitches, the games last past Darren’s bed time. I told the boys to speed things up.
Dusty doesn’t like high OBP.
Sammy does a nice job of two out hitting.
Carlos has been taking running lessons from Mo.
Wow! Now it’s up to Grandpa Mo!
First-pitch swinging….
"Kick"
6.5 for style… 9.9 for effectiveness
I’ll take it
I enjoyed the crowd cheering the ball fouled into the Cardinals’ dugout.
After five all tied at three.
Well, Luol Deng just blocked a dunk attempt, then dribbled the length of the floor for a lay-up — so I’m not completely livid.
Plus, I’m listening to Tom Jones’ version of "Ring Of Fire."
KD, want to see my "Ring of Fire"?
…the Cubs!
You should have buried us while you had the chance!
The Cards did bury you, back in June, remember?
We remember! How in the world did the Cardinals beat us in our first Beltran-less week? Those guys are amazing!
Sorry Kelly…we missed that memo.
I think Chip said he wanted to see Mike Barrett take a dump over Pujols’ head. I don’t even know what that means?
Time to take my beating!
And exactly why did Wendell send a guy who can’t run?
I’m enjoying finally hearing Steve rip on Wendell.
I’d enjoy it more if somehow E-ramis had been safe.
This is a helluva way to win a pennant.
And, like Loverboy, they look good in red.
Wendell Kim is not good at his job.
And Chip, Mr. Momentum, is now stealing his riffs from Andy.
I saw the memo.
Oh, and on the ESPN feed, Jeff Brantley said "you have to make Sanders make that throw."
Moran.
In case you’ve forgotten, since the Cubs have done so little baserunning lately…I’m still the dumbest third base coach out there.
Wendell,
I think you wrote the memo.
Obviously, I have Loverboy on the brain.
Can you blame me?
I’M BACK!
Dusty, you have two choices… bench Kimm now or neither of you need to come in tomorrow.
Dusty said on the pregame show yesterday that they were going to have Aramis take it easy on the bases for a few days, so that it "might look like he’s not hustling, but he’s just playing smart."
So why did our third base coach send him with no outs against a guy with a very good arm?
If he aggravated the injury, Whatshisname should be fired in between innings.
I’ll be the third base coach! Come on, Dusty, put me in!
Start working on your resume for November, Wendell.
In case you’re not listening to my audio updates —
– I breathe a lot when I talk.
– Otherwise, I sound a lot like Andy Masur.
Reggie Sanders doesn’t have a ‘very good arm.’
He doesn’t even have a "very bad arm."
Kim is just vewwy, vewwy, bad.
Ouch, my groin. I should go kick Wendell in the nuts so he sees how it feels.
Nooooooooooooooo! Ahh! Guh! Gurgle! That’s whathisface again! Ahhhhh!
I have to apologize to Sux fans. Suddenly, rushing the field to beat the crap out of a base coach makes sense……
Hey thanks! Masur’s my idol. And I’d sound a little better if I wasn’t on the cell phone. But really, who can be witty on a hard line?
You mean Paul Assengrabber?
Huh-huh, huh-huh.
Why did I bat?
Please just shoot me.
WTF? Assenmacher?
PUMP IT UP!
I am a mulleted moran.
What the hell am I saying?
Did I hear that right?
Chip asked Paul his favorite memory as a Cub, and he started talking about drinking coffee and reading the paper before the game?
"Paul, what is your finest memory of your time spent in blue?"
"The Metra Train was AWESOME! PUMP IT UP!"
At least Paul didn’t elaborate about "where" he was drinking coffee and reading the paper.
I would guess he also enjoyed a little pie a la commode.
I said I read the paper and drank coffee on the Skokie Swift.
Oh, by the way, we got our new Web host today. We now have unlimited bandwidth. Feel free to refresh and "test" until your heart’s content.
I’m gonna do my best to catch all of these pitches.
Test.
I’m a doughnut!
My strategy would be to intentionally bank one off the bricks behind home plate and get Womack that way.
We’re in his chest!
"SUCK IT UP!"
That batter has two balls, the umpire doesn’t have any left.
Albie
Your ass is grass.
I’m gonna walk Rolen and then fan that douchebag Edmonds.
Whoops.
Now see, at least I run around the bases like an adult.
Was Scott quiet enough for you, ‘los?
It’s only a 1 run deficient, though. Oh, oops. Nevermind.
The only thing wrong with Carlos hitting Edmonds with that pitch was that he missed his head.
Two pitches, and Carlos has thrown this game away.
I like how the two macho men, Jim and Carlos, run away from each other after the pitch plunked Jimmy’s ring of fire.
Did I color my hair?
I enjoy taking balls to my ass. Thanks Carlos!
As I just say " $#%$# hit edmonds " Carlos does his job and hits him.
I would have thought tough guy Lassie would have settled it right there like a man?
Glad I’m not the dumbest thing on TV tonight.
I would have love to seen Edmonds come charge at Zambrano. I wonder if he would have pulled up so he could dive after Zambrano like he does his diving catches.
Well, you know, I trust the bullpen not to give up any more runs and I’m sure our offense will get those two right back, so why not take myself out of the game?
Is it wrong that my two favorite pitches this year have been the one Carlos decleted Alex Cora with the day after that 18 pitch at bat and the one he just hit Lassie with?
Look out Cubs! The Padres just got the leg up in the wild card! Me!
OH yeah, I forgot. I suck.
I hate our bullpen as much as any sane Cardinal fan (fire away on that one), but why is Carpenter still in there?
Remember the big five game series last year? LaRussa waited until the day after the Danny Haren-Kerry Wood dustup to retaliate.
Tony’s waiting for next April this time.
Beat somebody good, Lawnmower.
Sammy can’t talk to my pitcher! Wow, you can see my red ass right through my pants can’t you?
It’s tied now right?
That’s right #162, he never beats anybody good.
Well said. Go get yourself a lollipop.
Hey, maybe I can hit a walk off homerun in the ninth?
Walks suck! 1 run homers are much better.
That curveball had the meat of the plate on Lee.
I’m in charge now!
Since this is a non save situation, I may have to give up a couple here.
That was a Levitra liner by Reggie. He just needed to get it up.
Anybody have any theories as to what Carpenter was saying to Sosa?
I’m in for my defense!
E6
I said, "Thanks for not hitting me, buddy!"
I’m bad.
I’m used to fighting things off. I room on the road with Edmonds.
Guess what, guys, I haven’t even K’d yet! No worries, I’m saving that for the bottom of the 9th.
Ok, we can win it in the ninth with a run!
Get ready to go nutty Wrigley! The Cardinals are about to buh-low it!
Or we’ll go down 1-2-3. Cross your fingers…
Cubs don’t get one to the outfield
I live for this!
Well good thing Barrett swung first pitch.
Good news! Chip just said that if the Cubs get the lead here, The Farns is pitching the tenth!
Wait, won’t the game be over?
Todd Walker wins it right here.
When was the last time I got a hit?
Game just changed with a check swing… we suck.
Todd won it.
For the Cardinals.
Chip seems to enjoy the Cubs being nine back, doesn’t he?
What an ass.
On to the 10th!
Anyone miss me?
Anyone miss me?
Research Z’s wins & losses this year.
Apparently, I am not a pinch hitter.
OK, I’m no Cards fan, but … um … isn’t Zambrano, you know, an … ass? Whatever Edmunds did to upset him, we couldn’t even see it, but we all sure as hell saw the fist pump after the strikeout. And why exactly is he hitting batters after giving up homeruns? How about just not giving up the homeruns? Is he really doing so well that he can justify this behavior? That he can grimace at his teammates when they make errors, as if it weren’t the walks and the homeruns that lost the game?
Blown opportunities once again rear their ugly head and bite the Cubs right in the butt.
For a 5-4 game, it would have been nice if the Cubs could have hit a fly ball with a runner at third with one out in the first. It would also have been nice to see the Cubs have runners on the corners with nobody out in the sixth. But, no, we got neither.
This team plays dumb, they don’t execute, and nobody’s accountable. Welcome to the world of pretending baseball teams.
This would have been exactly the kind of game the Cubs desperately needed to win. Not only to pick up a game in the standings, but to show that they are able to overcome their own errors. Instead, they get beat in their own house with this year’s best pitcher on the hill. If they plan on doing anything, now would be a real good time to start winning some games.
I really hate the Cardinals.
This team’s biggest problem isn’t the Cardinals. It’s themselves.
If they don’t start playing smart baseball, we’ll be trying to stay over .500 instead of trying to stay in the wild card race.
Game, Set, Match.
Is Hendry still alive? Has anyone held a mirror under his nose?
Wild card optimism fading…
Oh, Todd Hollandsworth, why were you too dumb to wear a shin pad? Walker is a good hitter, but he’s useless off the bench. He’s always been a starter, and unless he’s seeing pitches every day, he’s not gonna get hits. Grudzielanek would probably be the same, especially since he hasn’t even really gotten his swing back WITH regular PT. Pick one and trade the other. They can’t play at the same time, and neither is going to do anything unless he plays every day. Pinch hitters they are not.
Go to hell B.C.
I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!1
You know I liked it much better when the Cubs were lovable losers. Right now they are hated losers. I’ve been a Cub fan for years and this is the most I ever hated them. Losing to the Cardinals really sucks too. The Cub players have no balls right now. I know Zambrano’s moves tonight might have been a little bush league, but at least the kid has some spunk in him and wants to win. It seems like we have a bunch of individuals on this team. We definitely have no leader in Baker. Baker is a manager, which means he is the leader no matter what on this team. If you have to step on toes, get into someone’s face, tear into someone’s rearend, then do it for the good of the team. Where is Hendry at too? Has this guy left the country? Enough is enough with this constant worrying for let’s do what’s best for Mark Prior or Kerry Wood. I’m sick to death with these pansies having problems with being hurt. They need to go talk to Greg Maddux and see what a real man is made of. He’s not gotten all those wins just sitting around bitching and moaning about being hurt and just pitching some simulated games striking out the wind and thinking you got big balls over it. Get some guts Cub players. I either like us to go on a true run here or just get steamed rolled and start dumping some dead weight and find some real winners out there.
It’s time to see what true colors this team has.
He better step up and be a leader here soon. The Cubs season will be over and his job in Chicago could be over soon as well.
Might sound dumb, but the Cubs just deflated after the Wendell Kim debacle. Old Man Mo rose from the dead to hit that homer, but that was about it. It’s like one thing goes wrong, and the entire team freaks shit and there goes the game. Best add bonafide pinch hitter to the long list of Things the Cubs Need.
To start squawking about staying above .500 at this point of the season. I won’t say there isn’t some concerns, but for fucks sake you’ll look like a human scab after all these leaps you’ve been taking off the bandwagon!
If I don’t get rid of Wendell Kim by tomorrow’s game, I don’t have a sack.
But you know that midget is going to be out there flailing his arms away come any given crucial moment tomorrow, so maybe just I’ll tell the guys to stay off the basepaths and just swing for homers.
If the Cubs continue on their pace of the last 11 games, they’ll be getting close to .500 rather quickly.
Dig the audio posts Andy!
Nobody misses me.
Wendell apologizes…
"I know he’s had a problem with his leg," Kim said. "I’m not making any excuses. I made a very bad call that I felt cost us the game. That’s why I apologize to all the Cub fans, the Cubs front office and my teammates."
A very bad call? Really? Because all I noticed was a guy who was only a day or two off the DL being thrown out by 10 or so feet at home on a bloop single with NOBODY out.