Today’s a handy day for you, the baseball fan. Today you will learn, beyond any shadow of a doubt, who the biggest phonies in baseball are. They’ll be the ones faking outrage at what Carlos Zambrano did to Lassie Edmonds last night. They’ll be the ones who will call Carlos thin skinned, and say that the Cubs are bush league. They’ll be the ones who are upset about what happened last night.
Guess what? I’m upset, too. I’m upset that Carlos hit Edmonds twice and neither pitch hit Jim in the face. That’s what I’m upset about.
The Cardinals are an assemblage of the most irritating assclowns in baseball. Any time you can have, on one team, a posing, prissy centerfielder like Edmonds, who never saw a flyball he couldn’t slow down on so he could dive at, the most grating, overrated Genius in baseball, Tony LaRussa and the oldest 24 year old in America, little Edmonds-in-training-Albie Pujols, you don’t have a baseball team. You’ve got Dante’s fourth circle of Hell.
It’s not like the Cardinals don’t have problems with other teams. The Pirates clear their bench every time the two teams play. Larry Bowa’s head nearly explodes every time the Phillies meet up with them. Bobby Cox looks like he’s having a prostate exam when he has to stand next to LaRussa before a game and pretend he doesn’t want to bludgeon him with a fungo bat.
The thing that amazes me is that after more than 20 years of pulling the same, old, tired crap of an act, that LaRussa can still muster up enough mock indignation to say things like this.
“That’s why the games–when we just play baseball, Cardinals clean baseball–there’s enough there to get the fans excited. When you cross the line–I don’t care what the rivalry is, what the circumstances are, what the score is, what the standings are–you’re not allowed to cross the line in this game.
“And their pitcher crossed it, twice.”
Cardinals clean baseball? Not allowed to cross the line? LaRussa’s so far past the line he can’t even see it anymore. It’s clear that he thinks that Carlos hit Edmonds in the first inning on purpose. Sure he did. You always want to load the bases in the first inning, just for kicks! Somewhere in that paranoid, demented, mulleted mind of his, this all makes sense.
At night, Tony heads back to his double-wide in St. Louis where he sits naked on a bean bag chair surrounded by freshly spayed and neutered dogs and he laments that everyone is plotting to get him and his Cardinals. In this strange, surreal world of his, he’s as smart as he can delude himself to be.
What happened last night is not unique in baseball. Somewhere, every night a guy gets nailed on purpose. Honestly, with the Cubs now nine games behind the Cardinals, it’s about time somebody got hit. I recommend it happen again today. Pujols looks like he could use a new bruise. Right on the neck.
Edmonds takes a marker and writes DK 57 on his right wrist before games. If it were up to me, he’d be writing it on his cast.
The Genius won’t let this go. “”It’s pretty clear,” La Russa said. “Earlier in the year they were complaining about how Jim just falls on the ground to get his uniform dirty, which is really a [bleep] comment.”
It may be a [bleep] comment, Genius, but it’s [bleepin’] true.
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Almost (but not quite) lost in this whole thing was the tragic decision by Wendell Kim to send a hobbling Aramis Ramirez home in the sixth inning, and like always, Kim sent the runner home to his doom. In more than 20 years of watching Cubs games, I’ve never seen a third base coach who so routinely has players thrown out by such ludicrously large margins.
Kim apologized. “I screwed up. I let the city of Chicago down basically. I apologize to all the Cubs fans, the front office and my teammates. I caused the loss. I’m sorry. I have to make a better judgment call. I know he has had a problem with his leg. I was aggressive at the wrong time.”
It’s great that he’ll take responsibility for this. If it was the first time it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But nobody has had more runners thrown at home in the last two years than the Cubs. We learned that handy stat during the Giants series in June. How can he not get better? How can he continue to make the same mistakes, time and time again?
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Ironically, the Cubs schedule, which looked like it would deny them a chance to fight it out for the playoffs with the two teams most likely to be in their way (Houston and St. Louis) sets up so that they will face all of the teams in the wild card hunt with them. They have yet to play the Phillies and Marlins, they still have the Mets, Dodgers, Padres and Giants on the schedule and in September they get the Marlins six times, the Reds eight times, the Mets three times and then finish with three with the Braves at Wrigley.
Who knew?
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I wasn’t too fond of Carlos’ fist pumping after he struck out Reggie Sanders, but I did enjoy him striking out, and then later, hitting Edmonds. In fact, I think I’ll save that on TiVo…forever.
I understand Mark Prior’s concern. His elbow hurts, and pitchers tend to blow those things out, and the Cubs doctors don’t seem the swiftest ever. But do we really think people like Lewis Yocum and James Andrews want to have their reputations harmed if Prior blows out his elbow? If they say it’s not that big of a deal, it’s not that big of a deal. As for him not starting today, what harm would it have done for him to have started with Rusch ready in case his elbow starts to hurt again? None, that’s what.
The Genius needs to get a freakin’ grip.
Dusty’d have a field day with some of the people who post here. The sky is not falling. Things have been better, sure, but for a franchise that so rarely sniffs the postseason, you’d think people would enjoy some contention a little more than this.
Jannero Pargo’s future is uncertain. Gee, really?
Wrigley’s slowly collapsing. Good, maybe it’ll fall on the Cardinals’ bus after today’s game.
Phil Rogers says the Cubs need to score more. This is why they pay him the big bucks.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to write off the Cubs. Good. Now that he’s out of the way, we can start enjoying this.
The Cubs aren’t trading for Randy Johnson. How about Randy Myers? Cliff Johnson?
Prior says he might pitch on Sunday. That is, if he can get enough Midol.
Today’s effort by the Wizard of Roz completely contradicts itself. In the first part, he quotes a bunch of guys who have no idea what Prior’s injury really is and they all say he shouldn’t pitch at all. Then, in the next part he quotes Greg Maddux about how a young pitcher has a hard time knowing the difference between pain and injury. So which is it, Roz?
This Nuggets team is set up to get Jeff Bzdelik fired, isn’t it?
Rich Aurilia to the Padres? What, Jeff Blauser’s not available? How will Chip explain this? Don’t the Padres have Mr. Rookie of the Year Khalil Green? Khalil’s hit .229 in July, that’s how.
Looks like Jamal will be a Bull next year, after all. And a happy one. Who wouldn’t like to play for $3.5 million when you almost got traded and could have made $60 million?
Linda Ronstadt still performs?
Good news, X-tina’s back on the market!
Heather Graham’s career is going well.
America’s finest news source says Michigan’s been selling degrees!
Just a reminder: plenty of good seats available at the Cell for this weekend’s big series with the Tigers. For those of you in Chicago who love a pennant race, the Cell will be the place to be this weekend.
Where do I rate on the phonies list?
How’d you like my trying to make the game about me and talk to Carpenter?
You could tell Armais was thisclsoe to saying, "f***k off prima donna. We don’t need your glory-loving arse immersing yourself in this mess. Leave it to me, Barrett, and Big Z. Just try doing more than a freaking swinging bunt with a runner on third and one out you big stinkin’ fraud."
At least Andy loves me.
How did you like Chip and Stoney’s postagame interview w/Dusty? Instead of asking if Dusty spoke to Wendell after he sent home Ramirez, they dwelled on Zambrano/Edmonds for THREE questions, which was all the question they had time for.
The thing is, it’s not like balless Stoney A) wasn’t upset about it. He was as upset as he normally gets at the time of Kim’s colossal blunder and B) didn’t want to ruffle Dusty’s feathers. Dusty clearly got annoyed with the two yammering nitwits going on about their outrage over Zambrano. A fllow up question on Kim would have been a soft landing.
Sure enough, when the interview was over, Stoney went back to railing on Wendell Kim. Pussy.
Also, I forgot exactly what it was Chip said, but he did, in fact, call out Zambrano after the first HBP (like an inning or two later). Does anybody still have the game on tiVo or something? I remember him saying something along the lines of "Zambrano is acting poorly" Reminded me of Jim Riggleman admonishing Ramon Tatis.
Andy, it’s time to round of your insane troops and get a serious letter-writing campaign to get Chip out. I’ll help with a form letter, if you’d like.
We’ll see the Deadbirds in October. We can forget about the division–and that might be a good thing, but won’t stop Chip from telling us, the rest of the season, how many games we’re out. They key now is to just play solid ball and not worry about standings.
I still blame this rough second half start on Journey.
I agree 100% with Andy’s take ion this Cardinals crap. Screw them. It was embarrassing that no Cub came in for a confrontation when Zambrano smoked Lassie after the Rolen homer. Then Sammy goes back to talk to Carpenter like a child being reprimanded by a teacher. Sammy would’ve gained a lot of respect from a lot of people if he would have just jacked Carpenter in his Morris Soul Patch.
I like how Alou told Zambrano that it was OK for Lassie to preen over his home run. Shut up Moises, and stop preening over your check swings.
Hell, maybe it’s time for the Cubs to be "sellers" istead of "buyers". Ship Clement somewhere for prospects, preferably one who can bat first or second and play 2B or SS. Trade Alou to an AL team where he can DH and chew two more cans of Skoal per game. Deal Grud (no wait, than that would mean Dusty would have to play the offensively superior Todd Walker).
Actually Sammy, according to reports, it was Carpenter who intiated the conversation with you.
I did notice that as things escalated, Sosa moved further away from home plate with each at bat. In the eighth inning, he was practically on the top step of the dugout. Hopefully he doesn’t do that today, because as much as I hate to admit it, the Cubs need Sosa’s offense more than ever now. When he hits, we win, it’s as simple as that. Until Ramirez is fully healthy, Sosa is the only guy capable of putting this team on his back.
The feigned outrage is a double-edged sword.
Evidently Zambrano was outraged by Edmonds admiring his HR. There was nothing to be outraged about, guys stand at the plate longer than that every day of the week, regardless of whether they were plunked in the previous AB.
Claiming the 2nd plunking wasn’t intentional is phony, but at least it’s intended to help the team by attempting to prevent a suspension.
I’m not "in baseball" but I guess I’m a phony for agreeing with Alou and Walker that the repeated histrionics don’t help the team, and that the Mutombo finger-waggle is as bus(c)h-league as it gets.
It’s Sam-Me, CT. And keep your holding your breath on me putting this team on my shoulders, buddy. The only thing I’m in competetion for is "Who’s the first one toethe FinishED line?"–Me or Grandpa Moises.
And he’s going to get flamed for it. As much as we hate Edmonds, it would have been so preferred that Big Z pitched around Rolen and then struck his preening ass out.
Now THAT would have sticking it up his rear.
What happened with Zambrano doesn’t really matter. Z is being torched today by the media as being out of control, and over emotional. However, had the Cubs won the game, he probably would have been credited with firing the team up. I don’t like Carlos’ showboating after strikeouts, but I also don’t agree with Alou that a player has a right to showboat when he homers after being hit by a pitch. Anyway, none of this matters much now. Sadly, we’ve got to root for the Cards to beat the Giants this weekend, and hope we can make up some Wild Card ground.
No, we do not root for St. Louis to beat the Giants this weekend.
It’s July 24 and the Cubs are 2 games out of the wild card. Too early to worry about everyone else.
They need to worry about playing good baseball.
And by the way, the Cardinals have been lucky to escape injury so far. If Matt Morris retaliates today (he will), hopefully some members of the Cubs will ensure that streak ends.
These facts are true:
a) I loved watching Z stick it right up Lassie’s ass. I called for it two innings previous, and lacking anything else to enjoy, I enjoyed it immensely
b) that having been said, the team has lost all composure. Walker is right in saying that there is no place for that kind of thing. There is also no place for his whining ass, either.
c) I have lost all faith in Dusty Baker. He is dead in my eyes. WE can accept the fact that he is worthless during the game, as long as he adequately prepares his team up front. That is not happening.
d) The Cubs are dead. Go to my site for the wake and funeral.
e) Wendell Kim may be a good spring training instructor, but he’s almost legally blind!! Isn’t good eyesight kind of key for a third base traffic cop?
Yeah, Sloth, there’s no room for my whiny ass. Why would we want a player out there who gets on base and scores runs?
Wendell Kim and I swapped some stories. Apparently, he too was at Disco Demolition. He was the guy standing in the third base box, waving everyone home.
Frankly, it would help a bunch if the Cubs could start scoring runs with some degree of regularity. If that happens, I suspect most os us will stop yammering about Carlos and mound demeanor as well as Wendell Kim’s inability to correctly judge when to hold a runner at 3B.
In the event that the offense continues to blunder along, I expect we will see Dusty’s thin skin bulging as the mass of Cub fans dissect the mistakes of 2004.
We score lots of runs because we have guys on base. The Cubs score with the home run much of the time — but they’re usually solo shots. Probably doesn’t help that one of the club’s OBP leaders regularly rides the pine.
The difference in the game was a solo homerun by Renteria. The Cubs were on base way more than the Cards last night. thanks for the helpful advice, moran. Now go drop your load into your sister.
I can’t sign off on Zambrano’s plunking of Edmonds. Guys regularly stand at the plate longer than he did to watch a blast bound for the seats (Griffey, Bonds). Drilling Edmonds after the Rolen homer was just raw frustration. When the other team frustrates you, you’ve lost. Zambrano’s plunking of Edmonds only served to hand out bullseyes to the following: Sosa, Alou, Lee, Ramirez. Morris is sure to aim for one of those bullseyes today, and dare I say it would probably be justified. Zambrano should be forced to take a PH AB to atone for his meltdown and essentially hanging his hitters out to dry in today’s game.
TJ, we keep saying it, but it hasn’t happened yet. It’s possible that the Cards are going to have one of those lucky years in which they don’t suffer any major injuries. Also, we keep talking about the Cubs as if they have the ability to just flip the switch and run off a bunch of wins in a row. The Cubs haven’t played good baseball for more than a week at a time this season. What makes us think that they’ll just suddenly wake up and be able to do it now?
JH,
The Cardinals retaliate? I thought the Genius said they play "Cardinals clean" baseball!
The Cubs just have some selfish players. A guy like Sosa is not thinking about the team when he reaches for 3-0 pitch with a RISP and 1 out. Zambrano is not thinking about winning the game (which should be the ultimate goal for the team) when he gets pissed that a guy hit a homer off him, so he plunks the next game and has to leave the game. As much crap as we hear about Dusty getting the most out of his players…if this is seriously the most some of these guys have in them, then Dusty’s pumping a dry well.
I wonder if Z hitting Lassie was in retaliation for the showboat HR or for Lassie mouthing off to Barrett. I thought it was the latter. It was Z’s way of saying, "Hey puppy phuker, if you have a problem with me then you deal with me." I’d like to think he was sticking up for his teammate.
Sosa is going to have to do 1 of 2 things. Either move closer to the plate or get a longer bat. Ever notice how he dives out of the way on evey single breaking pitch inside? Every single one. If it looks like it may even be inside at all he’s backing out. So he backs up so far that the outside corner appears way outside to him. Great Sam, now you’ve just given pitchers 2 ways to get you out.
I will say this about Z. Celebrating a K in an important situation is fine by me. After a meaningless K is not. And Walk was right, he is going to start to alienating his teammates if he keeps showing his disgust with them on the mound (like he did with Barretts PBs).
And like him or not, Walk has the second highest OPS for all starting 2nd basemen (.850 vs Grud’s .656). Walk is also a better post ASG hitter compared to Grudz (Walk’s avg’s go up post ASG where Grudz go down slightly). When you can’t score runs you need a guy like that on the field.
LaRussa is always in the middle of these wars and it’s for good reason — he supports and propagates them despite protestations to the contrary. Regardless, with Morris on the mound today and an appearance by Kline sure to be in the offing, one of them will follow orders and drill a Cub. Can we be so lucky as to said Cub being Bako? Dusty, pitch Maddux today!
#16, one could also say that the difference in the game was the TWO 2 run homers the Cards had. If those had been solo shots, lo and behold, the Cubs would have won.
CT,
I agree, they haven’t played good baseball of late. That’s why they need to focus on that. If they play good, fundamental baseball, they’re capable of winning 45 of the season’s final 70 games, which would give them 94 wins. The Cards would have to simply go 37-33 to win the division, which they certainly can do.
But they need to take care of themselves first. They don’t need to average 10 runs a game. 5 would be nice.
By the way…I said Carlos shouldn’t show up his OWN teammates, not that he shouldn’t laugh about striking out a guy like Lassie. There’s a big difference.
Couldn’t hear you with your dad’s schlong plunged down your throat, Fredbird.
I hope Mouthbreathin’ Matt hits somebody today, but I don’t think he has the stones to do it.
The Genius thinks Z’s claims were bulls–t? Yeah, just like his guys play "clean baseball".
The Genius was also outraged about a Cub’s comments that I turn easy plays into difficult-looking ones just to get my uniform dirty. Does anybody know which Cub actually these comments, because he’s now my favorite.
A couple people have said shut up Todd Walker and shut up Moises Alou, worry about yourselves.
Part of their value is their veteran leadership. When a rival that’s notorious for starting BS is goading younger guys into losing their cool, veterans should say what they can to get guys back into the game to help the team.
Telling them to shut up or eff off is folly.
Jeez, maybe I should be instilling some veteran presense to set this team straight…but I’d rather play Go Fish in the dugout with my pal Bako.
#28, I think it was actually Dusty Baker who had said something about Edmonds "liking to get his uniform dirty".
It makes me laugh to see the Sox adding players to bolster their roster while the Cubs have done nothing. Yet keep heading out to Wrigley Field, Flubs fans, I’m sure you’ll be rewarded.
Sox in ’04.
Why does Dusty keep benching me? It’s not like I have a .385 batting avg against Morris or anything.
Easy, Todd, you’re leading off today.
Or not. Sportsline says Grud, MLB says Walker.
Zambrano should have hit Edmonds… Clemens and Pedro do the same thing and are 2 of the best pitchers in the league. Matter of fact after Rolen hit that homer, I said to myself to hit Edmonds and sure enough, it happened. Every team goes through a streak of playing like crap… if we turn it around and win 8 straight everybody will be talking about us winning the world series again. Its a long season.
Well I got my info from CBS sportsline..It’s using last nights line up.
Players are to be seen, and not heard. And besides, Todd, what did YOU do with your big chance last night?
You’re all that and then some? Prove it, pussy!
O hi. I can’t talk right now. Sloth has shoved half his arm up my butt. Come back later, OK?
Go Cubs!
I sound 100 years old and need to clear my throat, but after taking my sister’s tit out of my mouth, I was able to croak out that Zambrano is a raving lunatic for throwing at Edmonds yesterday.
What a jerk.
In response to the Maddux slam in Post #30, they had a couple of shots of Maddux on the bench on the ESPN feed and he looked a little frustrated at everything that was going on.
K-Rock, Sox Fan:
Aren’t you running late for the neighborhood quarterfinal "Bags" game?
Hey, Andy, When’s the next round of the Assclown tourney? My seeding should be moving way up.
And, as far as guys saying that Edmonds deliberately makes plays look harder than they are, that would include my partner, Joe Buck.