Pitching matchup
Reds: Cory Lidle 6-7, 4.79 ERA
Cubs: Greg Maddux 8-7, 4.18 ERA
Lineups:
Reds
Ryan Freel, cf
Juan Castro, ss
Sean Casey, 1b
Adam Dunn, lf
D’Angelo Jimenez, 2b
Wily Mo Pena, rf
Somebody Valentin, c
Tim Hummel, c
Cory Lidle, p
Cubs
Mark Grudzielanek, 2b
Corey Patterson, cf
Sammy Sosa, rf
Moises Alou, lf
Derrek Lee, 1b
E-ramis Ramirez, 3b
Alex Gonzalez, ss
Gabor Bako, c
Greg Maddux, p
Just like the Tribune, gamecast is late today!
We were going to wait until the Cubs scored, but we didn’t want to hang around until almost four o’clock.
Did I get my nickname from the way I attack hitters, whizzing fastballs on the first pitch, or is it because of the seriously weird jaw line and seeming overbite?
Just curious…
The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
Bako threw out a runner?
Make that 1:41
I’ve jumped from Moises to Sammy.
It all in the wrists.
Anyone smell smoke?
Infects Macias, Gabor, and Wendell Kim.
This seems like a good bunting situation, but then again Bako and Maddux are up next. I bet runners get stranded.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
I don’t want to go to Montreal.
Gotdamnint, Sean. Stop running me into things. You’re slow, you’re uncoordinated and if it doesn’t hit you in the glove you aren’t going to catch it anyway.
A sore calf? I thought the Cardinals had already left town.
Moo.
Ow.
Moo.
Ow.
Moo.
Ow.
Mooooooooooooooooooo.
It’s the Reds! I actually drive in runs against them!
"Casey tore his pants in the back…"
Haw-Haw! Fatty like cake! Now he split his pants like a fatty fat fat.
The good news is that with Alex, Gabor and Greg following E-ramis that he won’t get hurt running the bases. He’ll just get stuck on whatever base he’s at when they come up.
Time to be the hero.
Singing:
Fat guy in some little pants.
Fat guy in some little pants.
I think I’ve discovered something.
I’m not good at playing professional baseball.
I’ve told my guys I don’t believe in situational hitting. I and the fans only care about homeruns. To hell with this nickel and dime jimmy jack bullsh*t.
Wait, when I get to the Alou-Lee-Ramirez part of the order why don’t I just walk them? It’s not like Gonzalez, Bako or Maddux can hit anything. And if one of them does, Grudzielanek’s back there to get me off the hook.
So glad to have you back Gonzo. Just what we need is another jackass swinging for the fences when a bunt works just as well.
My team is so good we don’t even need a full batting order to hit. All we have to do is ride Sammy like I rode Barry. Barry and Sammy … I love being on teams with old homerun hitters.
Everything is back to normal. I struck out with two men on base and only one out.
I am Jose baby’s brother
What if he set Gabor up with Paris Hilton for 1 night with all the drugs she wants. Then if all goes according to plan, Gabor will get sucked into her huge gaping vagina and never be heard from again.
Well Greg, you’ve got only yourself to blame.
Wait–I mean Jose’s baby brother!
Even though we both look like Freddy Mercury
Hey, why don’t I give up a homer to a guy who’s hitting .182 this year?
It was more fun when I ran into that old lady in Los Angeles. Derrek Lee is frickin’ huge.
Yes, we have the Reds’ signs.
Because we’re on the same team, Greg.
Keep running, Reds!
Dusty,
I think me throwing out 2 guys has earned me at least another 10 years on the Cubs roster. I should probably get a few more starts too, but I’m not going to press my luck. I’m a team player.
Bako threw out another runner?
Obviously, it’s so hot today that you don’t want to see too many players getting on base.
Hey I’m on base
#37,
I’ve got a cannon. Remember I’m the defensive specialist on this team. I can catch the ball from pretty much any sub-90 thrower on the team.
Pujols has just got to win the gold glove this year.
Good job, Grud. Now I will use you at leadoff every day no matter what. Hell, you didn’t even need to get that base hit, I was gonna do it anyway.
I’m going down quicker than Cindy Sandberg
I’m back, bitches!
If we would have been playing at the little league park with the wind blowing out, that would have been a homerun. I help this team with my arm, my bat, my legs, and my mind.
Hee hee, I passed it off onto Sammy. Another homer for me!
Hey, Gabor (can I call you Gabby?):
Since it’s obvious you aren’t doing anything important between now and Nov. 2, how’d you like to be a Senate candidate?
We’ll let you ride around the state in one of the Tollway Authority helicopters, you won’t need to make too many trips to East St. Louis though.
You’ll have to spend a few days at Madison Square Garden for the Republican Convention, and you will have to debate Barack Obama, a polished speaker and policy maker, which could make you look bad.
But then again, you have no trouble looking bad.
Please consider it, but if you can’t run, maybe I can talk Alex Gonzalez, Kent Mercker, Chip Caray or Ronnie Woo-Woo…
Centrum A-Zinc.
I’m ready for the endorsements.
Sweet fancy Moises!
What’s that in my rearview mirror?
Oh, my slump. I bashed that slump good.
Where’s my celebratory chaw?
Sorry Cub fans. I had a urinary tract infection and couldn’t piss on my hands. I’m off medication and pissing better than ever.
Moises v. the Reds this year.
16-35 (.474) six homers, 12 RBI.
He’s got a little Bako in him.
100:99 odds that the cubs have a 1-2-3 inning in the bottom of the 4th.
#52:
I’M supposed to be the ONLY person who has a little Bako in me. Who’s this Moises person?
What are we for Sammy throwing his back out again from his swing?
Mrs. Bako,
Are you trying to say Paul has had sex with you, or at least tried to?
Tell him nevermind.
I guess it’s Chip Caray Senate ’04…
"Because fewer people watch C-Span than WGN."
It’s getting chilly down here.
Whoa, hit for me, a hit for Grud, and suddenly Alou’s hitting homers again! What is this, pity day from the baseball gods?
Surprise! I can fly for a catcher! My batting average will be over .190 now!
For real who’s screwing around with the thermostat.
Please don’t trade me Mr. Hendry!
Who’s the gamer in the Bako suit?
#59 … It’s .200 BEYOTCH!!! I’ve hit the Mendoza Line and I beat Alex to it.
They’ll never expect me to have Maddux swing away…
Bako just shut us down
Three run jack, bitches!
My first three RBI since I hit that three run jack against the Sox just the other day!
(Just the other day was June 25).
How do ya like that?
Damnit are we hanging meat in here or something. I thought this was supposed to be Hell.
Seriously, Grud with a homer? Bako and Gonzalez on base? What a weird, weird day…
Hey, my 6th RBI in 80-some at-bats! You know it had to happen some day.
and they told me I could build a team around the home run.
P.S. Dusty if you don’t get rid of Wendall, then I’ll just have all our players hit homeruns.
sorry that’s couldn’t. I was just getting excited over all the great players our team has. We really don’t need a blockbuster trade.
My trade value just went up. Didja see that, Steinbrenner? Pay no attention to the statline, just note that I have a proficiency to hit 3 run homers! At least twice.
Maybe you should stay on me a for a few days Sammy
How’s my trade value buddy? I need to go somewhere that they don’t boo the players. Maybe New York, or Boston…
Hey, why don’t I give up ANOTHER homer to a guy who’s hitting .182 this year?
You can’t come to Boston buddy
Sammy, we (all 5 of us) don’t boo our players. Just ask Michael.
John Valentin:
Before today 50 games – 3 homers
Today – 2 homers
The Cubs have a lead after 4 1/2 and I am now actively praying for rain.
Get Skillet on the phone, stat!
Okay, I can feel it. My first homer as a Cub is happening TODAY. If Grudzielanek can do it, so can I.
An Albertan Clipper has blown into parts of hell today, giving them their first subzero day since Ed Nealy hit a 3-pointer in the waning seconds of a Bulls-Cleveland game in 1996.
The storm system will be pushed out by a large mass of hot air from the Gulf Region, and normalcy will resume when Paul Bako enters his next 2-24 slump tomorrow.
#78, would you guys stop following me?
You must have me confused with my brother, Javier. My cousins Francisco, Javier, Jr., Sancho and Pepe will be making appearances soon.
Shut up Bako you suck
Thanks Tom. I’m glad to know this is only temporary. I’d go collect on some of my contracts today, but it’s just too cold down here today.
That three way trade between the Yankees-Cubs-Diamonbacks for Randy Johnson was:
Yankees get: Mark Grudzielanek and Randy Johnson
Diamondbacks get: Bubba Crosby
Cubs get: Felix Heredia
Looking at the box score, we are due to hang a 4 on the board.
0, 1, 2, 3, 4?
Wood-Zambrano-Prior visit Philly this weekend.
I think we’re on to something here.
In every game except today’s and that White Sox one, you have, too, Grudzy.
RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!!!
Well, Pat, here’s the radar
According to that, Wrigley Field should have been drenched 15 minutes ago.
Take a look at last season Paul
Yes, #88, my grand slam WILL be during this inning.
It’s too hot for Moises to score from first on a double. Now he’ll have to urinate on himself just to cool off. That Wendell Kim is reckless.
By the way it’s 7-2 Cubs now, and will be about 10-3 when Valentin hits his third homer off Maddux to lead off the seventh.
Damnit Moses. You were supposed to slow up so you could get thrown out. I’m going for the Major League record .
I’ve already come to get Cory Lidle, don’t make me come after you, Bako.
Glad to see you guys found me.
No Wendall, I will not run home from 2nd base on a sacrifice fly.
If this one game makes Hendry think no changes need to be made, that would really suck. But at least we’ll probably get this one.
Sorry Wendell, I couldn’t see you hidden behind that high infield grass.
You know, Satan, if it’s cold down there, you’d be better off using white players, like Bako, whose ancestry were places white people come from like Sweeden and Norway and places like that.
When it gets hot up there, you should retrieve Albert Pujols and Ray King because they’re dark skinned and they work better in the extreme heat.
Good for Moises Alou. I’m glad.
Now, can we make some trades already?
Am I dreaming?
Hey Theo, Hendry here.
Yeah, you know how Nomar was going to the player to be named in the Gutierrez deal? Never mind. Alex Gonzalez has two hits today! He’s like Nomar without the hook nose and lesbian wife.
Get back to me on that Mark Prior for Trot Nixon deal, though. Trot’s a cool name. I’m going to name my next dog, Trot.
By the way, my wife left me. Do you think you could help me out? I just need you to sing the Creighton fight song in a falsetto while I jerk off with a plastic grocery bag.
Hello?
Theo?
I just called A-Gonz "Louie".
I am more concerned with how to work in "This Old Plug" than getting the names right.
It’s just been reported that Bako, Grudz, Alou, and Gonzalez have all signed a new 6mo. deal with the Devil. Details were not disclosed.
In other news, negotiations between the Devil and Sammy Sosa have come to a stand still. Apparently the hold up there is that Sammy wants to hit 1 Billion homeruns in a year.
Any truth to the rumor that I was called up between innings to pitch in this game?
"Is this heaven?"
"No, this is NIU."
"Oh, well then this must be Hell, and it’s clear yet still chilly."
I’m frickin huge
How many teams actually have their two best hitters batting 5th and 6th. I thought they usually batted around 3rd or 4th in the so called "heart" of the order.
"Don’t you ever call me an ass-clown again."
Idiot.
Greg,
Will you be needing me today?
Trip,
No. No, I don’t believe so…
62 pitches so far
6 months is pretty optimistic, #108. I’m just taking this a day at a time…
I suck. I really should give up the 3rd spot, but then I wouldn’t be able to cost this team 5 outs a game.
Don’t worry Sammy, they’re actually saying "Alou" today.
Where’s Dr. Obvious when you need him…?
Is Maddux doing another second-half rebound? He looks sharp (2 homers to Valentin not withstanding).
Damnit Korey. I’m talking to my buddy Dusty and we are going to get you bench for disobeying signals. I clearly sent you home just then.
Sammy, you hit a homer yesterday so you’re staying in the 3 hole forever. I’m also going to get Jim Hendry to sign Grud to a contract for as long as I’m managing this team stat. I want this guy leading off every game!
No this is a corn FIELD, Tom. Corn HOLED is what’s going to be happening to your brother.
Someone might get thrown out? I’m going home too then.
Noooo, that was supposed to be my grand slam! Damn you, Aramis.
Where was I Tuesday?
How come I don’t get this kind of run support?
Someone mention me?
When Satan calls in one of his deals, it sure is a bitch.
Speaking of a bitch, I belong to a big guy named Bubba.
We could have used that grand slam in the 9th against St. Louis, E-Ramis, but we’ll take it anyway.
Look at us, we’re offensive power houses! Sheesh, Hendry ought to try and move some of us today. We’re liable to never not suck this much again.
Aramis for hitting that big homerun I’m going to reward you with some bench time. I can’t have you getting too good you know.
…for the first time since Jim Edgar was Governor.
Sloth,
Calm down. The American girl singers have an average age of nine.
When’s the last time I pitched back to back complete games?
I think I’ll impress the American Girl singers with my vast knowledge of Albie Pujols.
For that matter when was our last laugher?
The Cubs can only score when they hit homers. That’s ten runs on homers today.
I went the distance against Arizona Sept. 7, 2000 and then Florida Sept. 13, 2000. Blanked both of them.
I’m a 2nd halfer because I don’t want to get caught up in that whole All-Star mess. I’d rather pitch .500 ball in the first half, then pitch like .900 ball the 2nd half when it matters.
Did you learn that lesson from me, Greg?
I have just solidfied myself as a potential candiate for Scrub of the Year.
What’s that Ronnie-Woo-Woo? You want me to talk to Sammy about wrists?
They should name Minute Maid Park "The Skilling Field"
Grudzielanek 2-5 3 RBI
Alou 4 3-4 3 RBI
Gonzalez 1-4 1 RBI
Bako 1-4
Remember, Hendry, this is not the norm. Feel free to make some trades anyway.
Happy 298th, Greggie.
Will I be open when the Cubs return to town?
Nope. I’m shutting ya down.
Remember Me, Mayor?
OK, WHEW!
I’m done, just pitched my own double-header after the seventh inning stretch, if you know what I mean.
Crap, more suspensions to keep track off. Z gets 5 games, Hawk 3.
great win today. we’re finally getting rid of that hitting flu bug gradually.
i just would like to know what the hell is jim hendry waiting on regarding trades.
1) get the gonzo for cabrera thing done
2)let’s get stairs or burnitz in here for some pop off the bench(rumor has it hollandsworth won’t be 100% for awhile)
3)we need at least 1(preferably 2) solid bullpen pitchers
that’s about all i can see hendry trying to do. the rest of these clowns just have to perform. i’d like to at least see these trades take place after this weekend.
props to greggie throwing another awesome complete game. i wish wood and prior would take notes on that. if you throw under 100 pitches it can be done. maddux even struck out 6 guys with no wallks. oh, prior and wood love those full counts to drive their pitch counts up. i’ll be surprised if prior goes on sunday. we need a sweep in philly. if we get that, we can turn this bus around.
GO CUBBIES!
Where’s my suspension for admitting that I threw at Corey Patterson on purpose? Doesn’t MLB claim that it’s supposed to be about intent?
bullpen basher, have a name?
Why do you want Burnitz or Stairs?
Hollandsworth apparently is doing a short stint at Iowa or West Tenn next week, so he’ll be back for August and September.
Is a bullpen pitcher the same as a bullpen catcher?
We have 8 days until the trade deadline, and it might just be a buyer’s market here in the next few days. Does Hendry have to hurry up like Ed Lynch did in 1998?
Can you really ask two power pitchers, ages 27 and 24, to pitch like a wily 38-year-old veteran who can hardly break a pane of glass with his "fastball?"
Do you have to call the Cubs the Cubbies?
That is all.
Ask before posting pictures from me, beyotch!
Jesus. From the Trib: "Baker’s decision to stick with Mark Grudzielanek at second base in hopes of getting him on a hot streak paid off Thursday. Grudzielanek hit a three-run homer."
Yes, it paid off on a day where the Cubs scored tons of runs anyway, and DIDN’T pay off during the Brewers sweep or most of the other games Grud started in. It’s fine that Dusty kept running out a cold leadoff bat this whole month because Grud finally managed a 2 hit game? Utter crap.
Beware, NL central. I am the latest scrapheap pickup of the Cubs.
Hendry’s trading you to Boston for future considerations, Denny.