Pitching matchup:
Phillies: Eric Milton 11-2, 4.40 ERA
Cubs: The Franchise 2-2, 3.92 ERA
Cubs Live!: Philadelphia Phillies at Cubs, 2:20 p.m. CDT
Jul 30, 2004 | Andy | 285 comments
285 Comments
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Take a picture of me, you might not get another chance!
Oh, you already did!
SS Rollins
2B Polanco
RF Abreu
1B Thome
CF Ledee
LF Burrell
3B Bell
C Liberthal
P Milton Wadams
2B Grudzielanek
CF Patterson
RF Sosa
LF Alou
1B Lee
3B Ramirez
C Barrett
SS Gonzalez
P Prior
How will I factor in today’s game? 2-0 loss for Cubs.
WTF do I have to do to move up in this lineup?
Whoo-hoo! Let me at ’em! No-hitter, here I come.
I’m playing at home so that means I can hit the ball again
Be nicer to Darren. Trust me.
Corey
That’s right, Aramis. Corey keeps showing me his little bat and how it stands up and it makes me laugh!
Make me laugh and I’ll get you to bat 4th!
What’s up with Sosa’s 1.000% Fielding Percentage on GameCast? Have they really not counted all his screw-ups as errors all year long?
I saw that yestday and wondered the same thing? Obvious error I would say.
Shh, buddy. No errors for me!
Will Ron spill me today?
0 errors in 2004 5 errors in 2003
I strike out! Now, where’s Frank Drebin!
You’re welcome Sammy for all the gifts.
I must be going broke paying off the official score-keeper, buddy!
We are pushovers. Sammy and Corey’s fielding stats prove that.
Jim Hendry needs me….
Ahhh! What do we do now??
Looks as if I’m getting a little help out there
oh, say can you see, buy the dawn’s early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming. who’s bright strips and broad stars, in the parelious night, o’er the rampart’s we watched, as the da da, da, da, da, da, and the rocket’s red glare, lots of bombs in the air, gave proof to the night, that we still had a flag, oh say does that spangle banner wave, over all-l-l-l-l that’s free, over the home, of the land, and the land of the free!
I said two pitches before Abreu’s homer, that he did nothing against us in Philly. Oops…..
We just said Abreu struck out looking
Mrs. Bowa: Oh, my poor Larry! I hope he’s OK!
Frank: He’ll be fine. Unless he’s a drooling vegetable.
I sure can work the count
Why do you keep using me if I suck so much? You don’t see Dusty put Wendell Kim out there day after day…wait, bad analogy.
That’s me your starting second baseman.
No problem, we’ve got this Milton guy totally figured out!
Is Chip going crazy about Milton’s no-no thru 1 inning?
At least we didn’t make it TOO easy… We took a couple.
You guys suck ass
Oh no Milty, I think the Beege is listening to the telecast. I better leave through the bedroom window.
My arm hurts
This is going to get real old, real quick.
Prior, you’re joking. Did you forget that your offense is facing the unhittable Cy Milton?
I’m on top of my game today
What a horrible offense Philadelphia has.
100 percent of their runs today have come from solo homers.
My asphalt hurts.
Maybe I should look for a new pitcher
Not me. I’ll only go to the Yanks.
My arm hurts? Well, after 48 pitches in 25 minutes it should! On the plus, I’ll be out by the 5th inning and Nomar won’t be coming.
Jeez, Prior, whose gonna eat up all those innings for you when Hendry completes that me for Randy Johnson deal?
I guess teams have figured me out
Cub solo HRs are on the way.
K-K-K
sucK sucK sucK
Cancel the fuckin’ post-game show Chipster.
Their’s one.
Good call.
Just let me bat 9 times in a row.
Just wanted to note: I did not misplay that one.
"And that could be the jumpstart the Cubs’ offense is looking for…"
If he didn’t just say it now, he will say it before the end of the game.
Chippie:
"90 solo HR’s – must be a Chicago thing."
Didn’t Philadelphia hit a couple, or am I watching the wrong game?
Contact-Contact(HR)-Walk
Season vs. lefties: now 0-for-13
I made contact, though!
Fresh off my revalation regarding black holes, I will now devote all of my time researching the Cubs SS/8th spot in the lineup.
Whoa I’m just thrilled I actually made contact.
I’m 5 for 35 with 4 doubles since coming off the DL.
I did have a double the other day
That is why we are going to keep Gonzo. He always lets the pitcher lead off the next inning. What a nice guy.
You know Steve making Prior stand in the on deck circle as long as he did has got to have an effect on him this inning.
Stephen:
Your new theory states that some matter can actually be ejected from a black hole.
Nothing comes out of the Cubs SS position.
I need to figure out how Maddux has those short innings
We just happened.
Why can’t I bat 8th?
.221/.266/.330 – 5HR 35RBI
You call this nothing? I beg to differ.
Hell, Mark. I’d bat you second.
One of those homers is mine! Do you miss me?
Why am I trying to hit home runs? Just make contact, jeez.
Way to not do anything, Grudz.
I try to hit homers to fit in with the rest of the jackasses on this team
The numbers for Cubs SS Production are almost a dead on match for Todd Hundley’s Cub production.
I suckk.
Why wasn’t Prior just bunted over? Oh, right, Grud doesn’t know how to bunt.
That was wonderful..
Prior’s going to be exhausted for the next innings after standing at first.
We suck.
I can no heet 75 mile hour fastball no more.
How do you guys hit this guy? He’s got electric stuff.
And Sammy Sosa takes a big cut…it’s a long, long pitch, deeeeep into the catcher’s mit, it might be, it COULD BE, a STRIKEOUT!!!!!!! And he’s done it again!
Wha are you guys complaining about? I’m hitting 30-95 for the month! .316!
Oh wait. That’s my strikeout rate.
Face it, I was better in my short stint than Alex has been this year.
I’m not saying that’s good. I’m just saying it’s true.
I want to give the fans a show
Just watching Gamecast, but it looks like all the pitches to Sosa were down the middle of the plate (height varied). Is Sosa standing so far off the plate that he can’t reach those? Is the middle of the plate the new "outside corner". Maybe Sosa just doesn’t want Milton to have to nibble the corners or something.
I’m not smiling, I just have big teeth. Baba Booey to y’all.
I’m listening to the game, can’t see it; so I have a question.
How much was jerkoff Sosa swinging from the heels with two strikes?
The guy has become unbearable, by the way. For every 6 times he starnds a runner on third by not putting the ball in play, he’ll swing from the heels and hit a home run. The home runs, to him, justify his all-or-nothing approach, in spite of the fact that shortening his swing in the earlier situations helps the team.
You know. Kind of like how he did in 2001 when the thought of catching Aaron wasn’t in his sights.
I also like how he got all mad when he finally closed his eyes and hit a homerun off a rookie bitch who’s been slapped around more than Tina Turner. That’s what makes him unbearable. He thinks that because he homners once, shame on you for bringing up his selfish approach to other at-bats when he swings from the heels. Asswipe.
3-1.
Why else is Prior throwing matzo balls?
I suck today
6-4-3 coming up, just like Greg does it.
All donations can be made to the Albie Pujols School of Hitting off Cubs Pitchers. I don’t see what’s so difficult about hitting homers off these guys.
That Pat Burrell can hit that down the middle pitch easy. How he do that.
Is that the second time Lieberthal put Moises up against the wall?
Who’s putting guys against the wall?
The Francheezie ain’t been getting it done lately.
Paging Dr. Andrews and Dr. Jobe!
I’ve only looked good in one game…The first one against the Pirates
Drive me in, you morans.
OK, we’re back
Tie.
…speechless.
A 2-run home run?
Is that possible?
Am I gay?
Hey Sammy, did you see that?
What reporter will ask Dusty how long we fans have to suffer seeing Korey and Sammy bat in the first?
None. Gutless wimps.
To hell with this solo stuff.
I misfired.
I’ve been doing that a lot this year.
Santo’s finally rubbed off on me.
Why are we batting 5th and 6th?
I sure look happy in my Gameday Live picture.
I’m not so happy anymore.
I look like someone just gave me an Oakland A’s hat for this picture…but took it away real quick. They didn’t tell me that was all a joke.
Oh, good, I can make the final out again!
That Gonzalez kid, you gotta watch him. He’s got Sosa-like power on alternate Thursdays when El Nino is around.
Yes, best pitch around that powerhouse Alex Gonzalez. Good call, Milton.
18% (19-105)of all my strikeouts come from you guys. You guys suck.
Come on, Milton, I’M not so bad…
I don’t know why everyone hypes Randy Johnson. I’m averaging around 13.5K per 9 innings against the Cubs. Why aren’t the Yankees drooling all over me??!!!
Okay, so the leadoff hitter got a double. This would be a good time to give up another homer, right?
It’s a good thing I got that degree this year. Wouldn’t wanna be stuck flipping burgers when everyone realizes that hitters have figured me out.
A strikeout of Enrico Palazzo here.
Whew! A good thing Burrell isn’t up in this situation…I wouldn’t know what to do.
83 pitches, no outs, pitch count.
I don’t finish this inning.
Anyone know what it is?
The Phillies are hitting me like my name was Borowski or something.
Here comes the "Hometown Discount" you blew, Hendry.
Phuck you all!
Oh wait…I forgot, the Phillies 3-4 hitters actually could knock in one of these guys without hitting it out of here. I thought I was facing Sosa and Alou…
#122–
Is that you, Phil Rogers?
Help, Mr. Wizard! Get me outta here!
PRIOR’S HURT!
THE CUBS ARE LYING!!!
Not fast enough….
Crap.
Hi gentlemen:
We’re the most overrated starting pitchers… ever.
I’ve got good news, Prior…I’m taking you out.
Prior: I thought you said you had good news.
Rothschild: I do, I just saved a bunch of money by switching my car insurance to Geico.
Who didn’t see that coming?
Im the most overated starting pitcher ever
Just because I’m robust, doesn’t mean I’m strong.
*Before the Game*
"Bobby Abreu was shut down by the Cubs last week. he didn’t even get a hit."
*After Abreu’s second homer*
(To Himself) "I’ve got a bigger mouth than that assclown drag queen Chip Caray."
It’s a good thing I got that strikeout…now they might let me pitch the rest of this inning.
The cubs have the top of the order due up in the bottom half. Wait…..that is reason to fear. Never mind.
#129–
Good one.
Hey Prior take the rest of the season PLEASE
I guess I’ll be in Boston the rest of the way.
We are getting those 3 runs right back! Like, maybe the three of us will manage to score 3 runs in the next five games or so.
I’m sorry Nomar. We won’t be bringing you to Chicago. We really need Matt to help us get to the playoffs. We do wish you the best of luck in Chicago.
You negative asswipes are killing me. I don’t think I can hold it anymore.
Criminy, a little adversity and y’all become a bunch of cynical smartasses. Shove it up your arse when the Cubs come back and Larry Bowa’s head explodes.
I pitch ice cold. No mistakes.
Jim Hendry, No. 140, does that mean I have to trade for Nomar?
Where do I play Valentin? He’s too valuable to sit…
Hmm, hey Theo: I have Buerhle, Loaiza and Garcia. You can have them for Nomar and Derek Lowe.
Oh, I guess I make mistakes now. Time for Dusty to bring in Mercker.
I agree, #141. You’ll all be sorry you were so mean to me when I hit my grand slam next inning.
Kenny … I’m going to need Magglio in that package too.
This is the site of prior’s next start. 6 or 7 HR’s to be given up.
Hmm. That sounds like a deal. But can you throw in Bellhorn and I’ll throw in Uribe and pay Manny Ramirez’s salary?
This just in–I’m good.
BTW, that base on balls to Bell was only my third.
Of the year.
In 18 innings.
Mercker and Remlinger couldn’t dream of that ratio.
I say DL Prior for the rest of the season
Wow, both of these teams deserve to lose. All of their runs have been scored on homers.
My name will be Mark Prior.
Here we come!
1. Prior’s outing today
2. 2004 Cubs SS’s
3. Feldo commercials
there we go
But guys take it easy on me, I’m MAKING CONTACT!
My daddy could’ve run that out!
Sit down, you loser.
Sounds good Kenny. I’m glad we could do business.
Why don’t I do that more often??
Let’s see…
Man on first.
One out.
Down by three.
Let’s SWING FOR THE FENCES.
Weeeeeee!
Sammy, you can do it.
Hmm, one more thing, Theo:
Do you have Billy Beane’s number? I heard he’s in the market for a shortstop, and since we already have Valentin, maybe I can get a couple guys in Modesto for Garciaparra
My son’s name is actually Tugg, not Togg.
Attaboy Sam.
Asswipe.
That’s even worse than Stone Farnsworth.
Polanco just tripped over his own feet! WHAT A PLAY!
The suckiest suck that ever did suck.
Only in my lineup is the "heart of the order" the 5th, 6th and 7th hitters.
Piss on you, Pallazzo!
Why was Dusty replacing me with Grudz the past 2 games I played?
Because I’m batting a staggering .152 against lefties this year. Well, now even worse with my 0 for 3.
Yeah I knew that part Grudz I’m talking about as a defensive replacment
Because my defense rocks!
"This effort speaks for itself."
Said on video replay of Alou not running out flyball.
Outside of Jason Kendall’s 10-14 million dollar contract that runs through ’06, is there a more overpaid player in the game than Sammy’s 17 million?
For a .270 BA/.350 OBP?
And Fred Flinstone’s stone glove in right field?
I didn’t think so.
I am awesome.
Because I love him so so much. Or I hate him and wanted him to stop bugging me in the dugout. Either one.
Hey, next time we’ve got Mark scheduled to start…why don’t we just skip his 5 innings and go straight to me…I would consider letting Glendon in on the fun, but he’s gonna be taking Clement’s starts when ole Jim-Bob GETS OFF HIS ASS AND GETS SOME OFFENSE IN TOWN!
So I am stuck in the cornfields forever? Damn you, Ice Man.
Hey Beltran–
Maybe if you weren’t as in love with me as Chippy as with the Beege, then you wouldn’t be getting "cornholed" in Des Moines right now.
I’m the 3rd guy to have 2 dongs today.
MOVE SAMMY DOWN!!!
GET IT?!?!!?
Phew! Another solo shot. I can go back to my rote observations now.
Whee, another homer.
RAMI RAMI!
I should be talking to Pat & Ron right now.
Dusty, now can I bat above the 6 hole?
I’m knocking the cement off the upper deck.
Ice Man grew the goatee so they could tell us apart.
Eric, just throw a ball…you don’t want to give me another 10 pitches to foul off…
Okay, here’s the deal…now we’re at the heart of their order. You remember when you walked this guy last time…it was for a good reason…be careful with your pitches and don’t let him get a hold of one…
I think that’s the Marlins’ Alex Gonzalez that we have to worry about…
2-3-4: AB:9 H:2 K:5 BB:0 R,RBI:0
5-6-7: AB:8 H:4 K:2 BB:1 R,RBI:7
Can I please get a hit finally?
MCrosky : Alright, I’ll need 3 men up in the tower. You Newbower,
you Macias. . .
Johnny : Me John! Big tree.
How could Macias have a fielder’s choice? No one’s out …
The fielder choose to go home, and didn’t get Barrett out.
The fielder made a bad choice.
yes, you can, Grud.
Top of the order with a hit?
Ahhhh, now I can breathe a little easier.
Ye of little faith. Next time, just JUMP OFF; do us ALL a favor.
‘Nother one bites the dust…
Well, I’m still a bad baserunner.
Maybe on Aug. 1, I can join the rest of the unemployable idiots out there and blame Bush for my joblessness.
That RBI single was for you, Chuck, wherever you are.
Love,
Corey
Send me in next inning, Ice Man’s done!
All we need is a single.
I think I’ll SWING FOR THE FENCES!
WEEEEEEEE!!!!
That Larry Bowa sucks as a manager
Didn’t anyone ever tell you guys that utilityman means I can pitch, too? Leave me in!
Buddy!
It’s been real. It’s been fun. But it has not been Rheal fun.
See what happens, Sam, when you just try TO HIT THE BALL.
What a novel friggin’ concept. Way to go, bro, and don’t forget that at-bat. We need MORE of that "sensible" approach thing.
What, buddy? I can’t hear you, buddy! Next time, I hit homer for you, buddy!
Who am I?
Well, Larry, maybe you can join me on my caravan across the U.S. I will get you and other Americans back to work!
Or you can listen to the advice of your old manager Lee Elia, and just watch day baseball at Wrigley Field.
And the Phillies bring Morgan Freeman in to pitch…
9-6 Cubs! Oops, 8-6. Good thing our bullpen is so awesome.
Did Sammy miss Wendell’s sign to send him home?
Bad starting pitching, good offense…hey, is this how the Cardinals win all those games?
No! We win with hard work and determination…plus…and this is the secret here…the more dirt there is on your jersey at the end of the game, the better chances you have…which is why we love having Jimmy on our team…he blows away the competition…
Wendell and I made all of the outs that inning. Hurray!
I’m in.
Great?
Guess I’ll go 2-2 on every batter.
Where’s that lester guy? Someone needs to teach me how not to nibble.
9 outs, that should be no problem for us!
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Says the Ice Man is still pitching…How is this?
I just tuned into the game during the Cub half of the 6th inning, and I gotta say, man — WHAT holes?? This team is awesome! I just don’t think any trade are necessary.
They don’t actually watch the game…little green men take care of that for them…but the little green men don’t know the difference between red and white facial hair…
It’s true, we’re colorblind.
Says Larry Bowa is Cubs SS, and CF is Doug Dascenzo.
Who gives up 2 run homers better than me?
Why don’t I tell what type of pitch is thrown?
Don’t worry, I’ll just pipe 3 500 mph fastballs by him and they won’t be able to touch me
Did Steve just say I was hot? He’s not trashy enough for me.
Andy: Reqal cloudy day today.
Santo: Yeah the clouds…a lot of clouds.
Real, not Reqal.
All this rain and humidity makes my stumps ache.
It’s okay, Bell is just the tying run, right?
Don’t throw me, Farns!
Fuck you #231 go jump out of the fucking window as previously suggested.
Hey Dusty,
NOW may I bat third?
Look at me
Wow, ARam! You’re pretty good when you’re in the 6 hole.
What a guy what a guy!
Look at me…I can bunt, maybe I should be in the 2 hole…moving that leadoff guy we have along the basepaths…
I am great, don’t trade me. Could Nomar lay down such a lovely bunt?
I work the count better than our leadoff man…
How bad am I that they have me bunting ahead of The Farns?
Oh, now this is something priceless I’m missing out on…The Farns hitting for himself…I wonder just how foolish he looks…
I wish I could see the game.
I remember Mitch Williams knocking one out in ’89.
Farnsowrth also used to be a starter. So the batter’s box is not terribly unfamiliar.
Still, what I wouldn’t give to see that goof run into an out.
What in god’s name just happened?
I’d rather see Farnsworth do something good at the plate, being a Cubs fan and all. Whatever he did during this at-bat (no television broadcast) seemed to be amusing enough. He at least made up for Gonzalez not getting the runner over one base, as Farns got him over two!
Just how is Farns’ range at SS anyway?
Those are fun when they’re not happening to the Cubs.
…The Cubs Sometimes Do.
Mike D.,
That was his fifth PA in the last four years…I don’t know how much less familiar you can get with a batter’s box…
Whiskey on one side, prostitute on the other = Farnsworth picks up a gold glove.
Do you think Dusty’s noticed that my only hit on the day came as a result of rather mediocre defense? Nah! He’ll probably start me nonstop the next 10 games.
Farnsworth did some baserunning eh? Any Chip mentions of how tanked he must be?
Farns can’t pitch, he just ran the bases!
I’m not tanked now, but check back with me around bar time.
Are basically the Cubs. If they lose this one, it’ll be such a meta-Cub game to lose.
Chuck, where are you?
Jim Edmonds taught me how to deke the runner like that.
He also tried to teach me how to take a collie out on a date, but I politely declined.
Jimmy taught me that.
I just said Randy Johnson will be somewhere next week, and that the Cubs will get Cabrera, a relief pitcher, a surprise, or nothing.
The Farns will not see another at-bat.
The Cubs are winning, so at Desipio he ain’t!
Dodgers get: Hee Seop Choi, Brad Penny, and a minor leaguer
Marlins get: Juan Encarnacion, Paul LoDuca, and Guillermo Mota.
Get old man Moises out of my lineup spot, please.
It’s time for me to pick up another 3-run LaSave
Fuck you #270, go jump out of a fucking window as previously suggested.
Don’t worry, guys, I’m back to my give-up-a-double-to-the-leadoff- hitter-and-then-get-outs-from-the next-3-batters form.
Jenga!! I’m off the hook again!!
Me too! I’ll start all weekend!
I saw Corey Patterson deke a baserunner into an out at second in the eighth, then make a nice running catch in the ninth. But we know that can’t be true. Chuck tells us that every day.
Not so fast, Grud, I’d like a 2nd baseman for my 300th win that isn’t completely inept.
At the end of the game Chip said, "The Cubs are 58-47!"
And I thought, "Wow, 11 over?"
Turns out they’re 56-47.
Moran.
Hey, should I pull out that "The Phillies will be in third by August" quote again?
FWIW, at 5:00 I head to the daycare center.
Any questions?
Hey Chuck,
How’s your wife and my kids?
Love,
Corey
They’re fine, thanks for asking, Corey.
How’s your OBP? Still thinking that a $15mm per year deal is coming your way in 4 years?
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