Kerry Wood was the star of last night’s game for the Cubs, considering at one point he retired 17 of 18 batters and pitched seven scoreless innings after a less than promising first inning. But for the second straight day all anybody wanted to talk about was whether or not Nomar forced his way out of Boston.

The reaction, from the Boston media to their deep thinking ownership to the boy GM they employ is typical. They made a move that they knew would be unpopular and to avoid being completely excoriated by their fan base they’ve decided to blame the guy who they shipped out of town.

You always see it in real life, too. Whenever an employee leaves a job, whether he was fired or left for a different job, everything that goes wrong for a few months after he leaves gets blamed on him. That’s all the Red Sox are doing.

Nobody can prove that they’re taking whatever conversations Nomar had with the trainers, the doctors, the Boy Genius or creepy John Henry, and blowing them out of proportion.

For our part, we could care less. We filled a huge hole at shortstop with a star and didn’t give up squat. So as the great Derrick Coleman once eloquenty said, “Whoop de damn doo.”

Consider what Boston’s ownership has been through the past few months. You can see why they’re a little gunshy.

They traded for Curt Schilling only to find out why the Diamondbacks were more than happy to send him packing. He’s still a very good pitcher, but he’s annoying, he gets on everybody’s nerves and when he gets hurt he stays hurt because he’s 30 pounds overweight and doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it. If they really want to paint Nomar as a clubhouse cancer, they might want to consider whether a guy who keeps to himself and works hard is as disruptive as the guy who runs to any TV camera like a moth to a flame.

They thought they’d made a deal to get Alex Rodriguez from Texas. In the process they not only managed to alienate Nomar, but Manny Ramirez, and they got chuckleheaded Kevin Millar to go on ESPN and say he’d rather have A-Rod than his current teammate. Nice. How come nobody talks about what a pathetic, cloying assbag Millar has been every place he’s ever played? While the Sox can blame Texas for leaking the A-Rod negotiations, they can only blame themselves for leaking the story that Nomar was going to be traded to the White Sox for Magglio Ordonez. That didn’t come from Kenny Williams, who pathologically still insists it never happened.

Bill Simmons has now written two columns in two days about how Nomar forced his way out when his agent turned down a $60 million contract offer and then said Nomar would demand a trade. This is very much like somebody defending Larry Himes for letting Greg Maddux walk because “Maddux turned down a deal that would have made him the highest paid pitcher in baseball” to go to Atlanta. History has shown that Maddux never turned the deal down, but rather before he could agree to it the Cubs lowered the value of the deal. Nomar’s side of the $60 million offer was that it was a starting point for negotiations and that it was never really an offer, when the Red Sox got around to making a real offer it was for $12 less than that.

If you really think Arn Tellem has as much influence over Nomar as Simmons seems to think he does, you should wonder why the all powerful Arn can’t get another of clients, Toni Kukoc, to take a shower.

Here’s what the Red Sox have tried to do by either leaking or exaggerating (or both) the tale that Nomar thought his Achilles would cause him to miss a lot of games the rest of the way. If Nomar plays in 90 percent of the Cubs games from here on out, the Red Sox hope it makes Nomar look like he was jaking it, or at least malingering with the Red Sox. This, despite the fact that Nomar only missed five games to rest his Achilles between June 10 and the day he was traded to the Cubs. It also ignores the fact that he played shortstop 24 times in a 25 game stretch in June and July.

The Red Sox have insinuated that when Jim Hendry called Arn Tellem just before he pulled the trigger on the trade that Tellem must have told Hendry that Nomar’s injury wasn’t serious and that he had been dogging it since the first rumors surfaced that Nomar was headed to the Cubs in a (then) three team deal. The Red Sox claim that Nomar was already fed up with the Red Sox and being dangled in another trade was the final straw, so he tried to force his way out of town.

Here’s why I don’t buy it. The Boy Genius has stated in several interviews, starting with his comedic press conference just after Saturday’s deadline, that the decision came down to a shortstop position manned by a creaky Ricky Guttierrez and a “Nomar who was going to be unavailable” most of the time, or trading for a better shortstop. That’s his story. He’s sticking to it.

Only, it’s crap. Here’s why. The Nomar trade didn’t happen until 2:58 p.m. Central time on a day when the deadline was 3 p.m. If the Boy Genius and the Red Sox owners were so convinced that Nomar was going to miss most of the rest of the season, why hadn’t they already made a deal for a shortstop? They were going to risk playing the Gute and the Gimp for what reason, exactly?

Here’s why. Because they had two possible scenarios.

1) They don’t make a trade, they continue to use Nomar at short (who hit .380 in July for them, by the way) and they blame the Cubs for not being willing to trade Matt Clement and they blame Randy Johnson for not being willing to subject himself to a year and two more months of listening to Curt Schilling talk to hear himself talk.

2) The trade with the Cubs goes through and they spin it to make it look like Nomar wanted out, hopefully appeasing the Boston fans who would inevitably be out to hang the Boy Genius from a tree.

They never thought a new DL stint for Nomar was looming. They just used it to save face. As far as sneaky tactics go, setting it up so if Nomar stays healthy in Chicago that he was faking in Boston is about as low as it gets. Who’s their PR advisor? Dick Morris?

Whatever the truth of it is, and it’s very hard to buy the entire, paranoid story spinning out of the Red Sox organization, the Cubs could care less.

We wanted Nomar. We got him. We’re happy. What’s not to like?

This is true, and until I just typed his name a few minutes ago, I’d forgotten this happened. Last week I turned on a Red Sox game just as a batter had the bat fly out of his hands and into the stands behind the third base dugout. I immediately, without seeing who did it, said out loud, “Hey, Ricky Gutierrez is in the lineup.” It turned out to be him. How does that happen to a guy as often as it does to Ricky? It must have happened 145 times in 2001 alone. I know that Gruddy did it last night, but that’s the first time we’ve ever seen him do it. Gute has the pattent on it.

It’s true, Jimmy Anderson became the player to be named later in the Ricky Guttierrez trade, after the Cubs traded Jimmy to the Red Sox for Andrew Shipman and another player to be named later just weeks ago. So for Jimmy and Ricky ,the Cubs will have gotten Shipman, another player and Jimmy? The bad news is that when he’s a September call up, I might just have to order Jimmy another pizza.

We actually did send Jimmy a pizza after a three inning save against Houston on June 11. The fun starts on about comment number 147 or so.

For those of you who ran right out between Sunday and about 8 p.m. last night and bought your new “Garciaparra 8” jerseys you deserve what Nomar and Michael Barrett did to you last night. Barrett went to Nomar and offered him his familiar #5 in exchange for two things 1) Nomar had to promise to seriously consider staying in Chicago after this season and 2) some sort of cash or swag exchanged hands.

Barrett broke in his new #8 by getting hit in the thumb with a bat and taking a foul ball right off the tip of his left shoulder. He probably wrestled Nomar in the clubhouse for his old number back right after the game.

Should we take a moment to ponder the odds of the Cubs keeping Nomar? I think we should.

Had he stayed in Boston, he would have had odds to have signed for 2005 and beyond with four teams:

Boston: 20:1 because they didn’t seem inclined to make him a real offer
Cubs: 15:1 because they’d be jacking around with Orlando Cabrera right now
Dodgers: 10:1 because he’s from southern California, but they have Cesar Izturis signed for cheap and their owner has no cash
Angels: 4:1 because they have David Eckstein (a glorified utility infielder) and their owner has money to burn

Now, with Nomar in Chicago the odds have shifted to this:
Boston: 345,000,000:1 and that’s being conservative
Dodgers: 30:1 because they have said the money they saved in their deadline trades will go to Adrian Beltre and trying to keep Steve Finley if there’s any money left
Angels: 10:1 because they’re going to make a run at Randy Johnson this winter
Cubs: 2:1 because these last two (hopefully three) months are like a long test drive for Nomar. I would imagine he’ll be easily sold on the Cubs (especially if he continues to get standing ovations on the road) and they won’t even have to scrimp pennies to sign him and still have the option of keeping Moises Alou (at a lower price than his option) or shopping for a new leftfielder.

There was one, and only one, distressing thing from last night’s win (the fourth in five games for the Cubs), and that was their inability to continue to light up The Troll–Jeff Fassero–after the second inning. He was lying there in front of the ropes like Mike Tyson just waiting to get counted out and the Cubs propped him up.

However, just how strange was Nomar’s second inning at bat?

Corey’s on first itching to steal. He goes on a 1-1 pitch and Nomar sees that Corey got a great jump, so he takes a meaty curveball knowing that Corey’s got second easily. Corey steals second without a throw and Nomar singles him home by going the other way with the 1-2 pitch. It’s good baseball, and it’s not something we see often from the Cubs. Cubs hitters don’t take pitches so guys can run. Cubs hitters don’t like hitting with two strikes. Hopefully the new guy will rub off on his new pals, and not, vice versa.

Kerry’s slider wasn’t sliding so he just started jamming guys with his fastball. Hey, that might work more often. You might want to keep trying it.

Nomar’s fed up with the stuff coming out of Boston. Who can blame him?

Barrett handed over number five to Nomar. Now we can call Michael ‘The Ocho!’ OK, maybe not.

I don’t think Mayor Daley likes the Tribune.

Lovie says everybody gets hurt in training camp. Uh, great?

Brad Maynard, Brooks Barnard and Mia Hamm will fight it out for the punting job. OK, not Mia…yet. But here’s my thinking. Since you have a good kicker who can’t kick off, why not make it a job requirement of the punter to be able to kick off? Is that so wrong?

Sweaty Joe is said to be pain free.

Jamal’s going to go to the Knicks finally…right? This is important. Here’s what KC Johnson says the trade is: Jamal and Jerome Williams to the Knicks for Dikembe Mutombo (old), Othella Harrington (bad), Cezary Trybanski (huh?) and Frank Williams (not bad.)

Lacy J. Banks says the trade is Jamal J. Crawford and Jerome J. Williams for Dikembe J. Mutombo and Moochie J. Norris and $3.J million. But Lacy, Paxson said he would never take Moochie’s contract.

The NY Post agrees with KC Johnson and they say the trade would have happened yesterday but the NBA offices were having their company picnic. Huh?

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to blame the guys who begged out of the Olympics for the basketball team’s inevitable failure. Jay needs to shut his yapper. I saw the Bernard Goldberg piece on HBO’s Real Sports and there’s no freakin’ way I’d have gone to the Olympics, either. Then again, nobody asked me.

Eddy Curry says he’s not that fat. Oh, that’s reassuring. Thanks.

Those Bears…they’re funny! OK, maybe not.

The Wizard of Roz is back and he starts today’s column with a bunch of questions.

Dr. Jack says defense will save the US Olympic team…or nothing will.

Spanish-yes.com claims Kobe’s got another accuser.

Spanish-yes.com also has five teams they think can win the national championship.

You have to remember that John Henry is the guy who gutted the Marlins and then somehow ended up getting the Red Sox even though he didn’t have the highest bid.

The Mavs traded for Jason Terry. And now they are after Jason Kidd.

Wolf boy!

Halle Berry’s out of X-3 and X-4. Yeah, why be in good movies when you can try and make Gothika 2!?!

Scott Peterson got into porn after he killed his wife and the woman he was having an affair with dumped him. Poor guy.

America’s finest news source says that the CIA has asked George Bush to stop writing on his blog.