I don’t know about you, but if I showed up for my Olympic event and a guy was still filling the cement mixer to finish the venue, I think I’d be less than confident. Then again, the Cubs go to work every day in a ballpark held together with a big fish net.
The Olympics are, of course, the most overrated athletic competition in the world. Unless you count poker as a sport, then the fact that ESPN has a countdown clock every Tuesday to that night’s World Series of Poker event, in which case the Olympics are only the second worst.
We sent Karry Ling to Athens, where he’ll be throughout the duration of the Olympics covering the whole thing like only he can. He ran into a snafu a couple of days ago, but has since landed in the Greek Isles and…well, let’s just let Karry tell you.
Hello again everybody! Your old pal Karry Ling here live from Athens, Greece. I’ll be here for the duration of the Olympics, or until a suicide bomber takes out most of the isles. Whatever comes first.
I will admit the trip was a lot longer that I thought. I did a Mapquest thing and it said that it was only 878 miles from the Desipio World Headquarters to Athens. Heck, I was going to drive. Then I find out that the stupid Olympics are in Greece, not Georgia. Who the hell wants to go to Greece? Andy mumbled something about the ‘cradle of civilization’ or something and I was off.
First, I had to get a refund on my bus tickets. Then, I got a flight to Greece.
Aggravating travel item that might only interest me
I had to sit next to this fat guy on the plane from Chicago to New York and he was constantly asking for more complimentary peanuts and he took his shoes off and then he bored me to tears with some story about how his daughter played field hockey in Connecticut. You should hear his story about the time he stole a Miguel Tejada foul ball from a kid. But enough about Peter King.
After some trouble in customs…let’s just say they found a foreign substance in my undergarments. It’s not my fault that I have a phobia about airplane lavatories…I got to my palacial hotel/motel convieniently located some 97 miles from Athens. They have a shuttle bus to the venues from there, or you can ride a yak. The yak is actually faster. So I rented one for the three weeks I’ll be here.
His name is Pepe.
He gets about three miles per oat. That’s pretty good, I hear.
Pepe and I almost wandered into Turkey yesterday. That apparently would be very bad. The locals are afraid of the Turks. The only Turk I’ve ever met was Kornel David and he didn’t seem all that fierce. You’d think a feared warmonger could do better than get 3.5 boards a night.
The opening ceremonies will be held here on Friday night and some of the first events actually start that day. So Pepe and I will have lots to report. Until then, I’ve got to run, I think I had a bad falafel.
Until next time!
—
Why do I have a feeling that Karry will try and bring Pepe home with him? I told him he’s not allowed to buy anything that won’t fit in the overhead compartment.
The Cubs begin a key six game homestand against teams in the NL West tonight. The first three are against the Swinging Friars of San Diego. The Padres are only two games behind the Cubs, but had a rough homestand against the Phillies and Pirates. When we last saw them, the Cubs were winning all three games in Petco Park and Jose Macias was unstoppable. Will Jose get the start tonight at third? Will Sammy sneeze and be out until October? Will Chip Caray declare his undying love for Mark Loretta? You’ll just have to tune in. We’ll have Game Casts for the day games on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. You’re excited. I can tell.
The Boston media’s reaction to Nomar’s departure has been stuck in my craw for a full week now. I didn’t even know where my craw was until just then. It’s not a fun place. But in today’s Boston Globe there’s a story that shows that media doesn’t speak for the people. The Red Sox played their first Nomar-less home game last night, and while the Curly Haired Boyfriend still takes some cheap shots at Nomar, he also interviews a guy who owns a souvenir store near Fenway and can’t keep the Nomar stuff on the shelves. I don’t think Red Sox fans are buying $140 jerseys so they can make an effigy of the guy.
Gordon Edes mailbag has some happy Sox fans and some not so happy ones. But just about every question is about Nomar.
The Cubs are a confident bunch. That’s startling given the horrendous performance we had to sit through on Sunday night.
I’m sure one of our readers will be annoyed by just about everything in this article on Corey.
Gabe Reid, superstar. Who?
John Tait doesn’t want to play left tackle and has an injury that only hurts when he plays left tackle. That’s pretty convienient.
Dusty says Nomar is “happy as hell.” I’ve always wondered, is that a good thing? How happy is Hell?
The Franchise is fired up for the NLCS match-up with the Cardinals. Easy there, big fella. How about getting into the playoffs, first? And you might remember the Cubs have one playoff series win the last 96 years…so let’s just take things as they come. But I like your gumption.
Tank Johnson is interesting. Let’s hope he’s as good as he is interesting.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to write the Sox off for the next decade. I’d say their biggest problem is that they only took advantage of the weak-assed Central once. The Twins won most of the division titles the Sox should have had, and now the Indians are more talented (if they ever find a bullpen) and the Tigers are getting better faster than anybody ever feared.
Rex’s arm feels robust!
The Wizard of Roz says nobody will ever win 15 games in a season for 16 years in a row again. Not even the Bulls.
Spanish-yes.com’s truth and rumors.
Bobby Sura won’t be a Bull. Damn! I guess that means that Jeff Sanders gets to keep the mantle of “dumbest Bull of all time” for a little while longer.
Terrell Owens is evil. There’s nothing to like about this guy.
If Cory Lidle’s the answer, what was the question?
Big Stein’s not enamored with the fundamental excellence of Kenny Lofton. Can you imagine playing Kenny in right field? With that arm? He’d have to punt the ball back to the infield from there.
Another shitty performance by Dave Matthews.
America’s finest news source asks “Who’s pregnant again?”
Don’t fret, Andy. There’s a movement to ensure the Olympics are unquestionably the worst sporting event:
pokerinathens.org
If that fecal matter was indeed dumped from the Dave Matthews tour bus, those who were splattered will likely test positive for marijuana use for years.
By the way, I have a co-worker who goes to 2-3 poker tournaments per week. He and countless others are obsessed over this stupid rage.
Even if you’ve never checked the A-List before, go there now, and read up on Dave Matthews. (Your stomach will turn, so do this an hour or so after eating).
I believe Corey Lidle was the Phillies answer to the question "what dumbass move are we going to make next?"
I don’t understand, if Tait don’t want to play left tackle, why don’t he just fire up Operation Shutdown?
To all the Moneyballers in the house, how do you explain the Twins success over the last four years? They seem to emphasize speed and defense and team chemistry, all things which are supposedly overvalued. I’m not saying that OPS isn’t huge; I’m just saying…
What do you mean the media doesn’t speak for the people?
Yes, #3, but read what the A-List says about ME. That takes the cake.
Yeah, the Boston media is still so worked up about Nomar that they’ve glossed over my crying jag about getting benched in favor of Dougie Eye-Chart’s defense over at first base. What an ass-bag I am.
Our success is due to playing in the worst division in baseball. We are an ordinary team surrounded by a bunch of bad teams.
When you combine Dave Matthews’ A-list info about how much he enjoys a good golden shower and the news that Clark Griswold’s Cousin Eddie has a new job as Dave’s tour bus manager…
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…It just makes sense that Dave and Eddie would do a cover of the James Taylor classic "Shower the People", doesn’t it?
I am available!!!!!!!!! No more greasy Fox.
I think the one fallacy about Moneyball is one that the media in general got wrong and repeats. In the book, Michael Lewis points out that the reason the A’s were looking for players with high on-base averages was because they found that that particular stat was undervalued by conventional baseball scouts and GMs.
What did baseball players get paid for? Homers, batting average and RBI. The A’s needed to find a way to win games cheap, and figured that some players could play and never got much of a chance and some were undervalued because they didn’t hit homers or drive in 100 runs. If they could sign enough of them, cheap, they could find a few who could play and if you had baserunners you’d score. Thanks to the A’s success and the book, on base percentage is now a valued stat. So the A’s have had to change their focus. If Scott Hatteberg were on the open market today he wouldn’t command huge dollars, but he’d command a lot more than he did when the A’s signed him.
The Twins have won because like the A’s they’ve found a way to win games cheaply. They do it through developing young hitters and trading them to fill other needs. The A’s are hoping that the "Moneyball draft" of 2002 can do the same for them.
Their approaches aren’t all the different. And there’s no one way to get around the financial difficulties of being a have-not in today’s baseball. (Even if the Twins are owned by a billionaire.) There’s no way the Twins talent pipeline can run forever, and there A’s have already had to go in search for another "undervalued" stat to try and find inexpensive talent.
More prove that I’m functionally retarded: I say "owie."
As in, "I’ve already planned ahead. I know who the runner is, can I take a chance with him, does he have an ‘owie’." You know, like that time I sent E-ramis from 2nd right after his groin thingy.
I’m nearly as beloved in Boston as you were Wendell. My new nickname is Wav’em Sve’m. I’m beloved!
I agree that the A’s success is based on finding undervalued talent (and drafting three kick ass pitchers, which was pretty much ignored by Lewis because it didn’t fit with the narrative). However, the Twins haven’t really been blessed with great young hitters (who do you mean there). It’s possible that defense, speed, and team chemistry are important.
What’s to be annoyed about? The article says he’s at a crossroads. I agree. The rest is puff.
Chalk up another gem from me in Roz’ column. What’s funny about my lame jokes is that it’s impossible NOT to see the punchline coming from a mile away.
Boy, I shudder to think where I’d be if I hadn’t owned that photo of Barry blowing a bull.
OK ‘great’ was a bit extreme. But the Twins have cranked out a lot of good hitters over their recent history
Corey Koskie
Jock Jones
Torii Hunter
Todd Walker
Bobby Kielty
David Ortiz
Justin Morneau
Joe Mauer
etc.
Defense = new Offense. Moneyball is so two years ago. Now excuse us while we fire up our new defensive matrices.
Hmm, the biggest complaint about Nomar from the Sox clubhouse doesn’t appear to be that he was a jerk, but that a lot of his teammates never really "knew" him. Let’s think about some of those teammates:
Kevin Millar: world class douchebag
Pedro Martinez: Great pitcher, but aloof and insane.
Manny Ramirez: the Pedro Martinez of outfielders
Johnny Damon: Looks like he lives in a cave.
Trot Nixon: Can’t open his mouth without thanking the lord for making it possible.
Pokey Reese: A grown man who goes by the name "Pokey"?
Curt Schilling: I’m not going to bother.
Derek Lowe: Appears to be afraid of his own shadow.
Would you want to hang out with these guys?
2003:
AJ Eyechart-.312 .360 .464
Douggie Eyechart-.300 .393 .450
Koskie-.292 .393 .452
LeCroy-.287 .342 .490
Jones-.304 .333 .464
Stewart-.322 .384 .470
Kielty-252 .370 .420
Ford-.329 .402 .575
2002:
AJ Eyechart-.300 .334 .439
Douggie Eyechart-.261 .365 .392
Koskie-.267 .368 .447
Jones-.300 .341 .511
Hunter-.289 .334 .524
Ortiz-.272 .339 .500
Kielty-.291 .405 .484
2001:
AJ Eyechart-.289 .322 .441
Douggie Eyechart-.306 .387 .464
Koskie-.276 .362 .488
Guzman-.302 .337 .477
Jones-.276 .335 .417
Ortiz-.234 .324 .475
Lawton-.293 .396 .439
Buchannen-.274 .342 .487
2000:
Koskie-.300 .400 .441
Ortiz-.282 .364 .446
Lawton-.305 .405 .460
Hocking-.298 .373 .416
While not a lot of star names, the season averages have been anwhere from good to great. Save 2000, when you can trot out 7 guys who can hit, you’re going to be in good shape.
Come on, Andy. I’m better than half those guys.
Gads! What is this, Batgirl’s Twins Love Page? Zowie! Blorf! Ka-Pow!
There’s also an Athens in Illinois, although that’s neither here or there.
I’m waiting to see if the Cubs can get a playoff spot while making the most Little League-like execution mistakes in the history of Major League Baseball.
Your opening photo is not a photo of a cement mixer. That is the Official Olympic torch. The worker is just rehearsing the lighting ceremony for the officials.
Actually, that opening photo looks like a member of the Dave Matthews band loading up the toilet container of the tour bus.
Could someone please post the address of the A-List?
B.C., you tool. If you notice, the Cubs are in the top five fielding teams, committing less errors than even the vaunted Cardinals.
In other areas, the team hasn’t always executed flawlessly, but don’t saddle them with the Little-League execution "in the history of Major League Baseball" mantle. It’s not that bad and has them in the Wild Card lead. Enjoy it.
Geez, B.C., why you doin’ your best Rick James when you are much more suited as a college-age Mariotti? Only Fat Jay can dust the donut powder off his fingertips to clack out the patented arm waving "The Cubs are the worse at ____" article.
Leave the eye-rolling and blowhard fanaticism to the professionals…
Looking at the Twins stats this year, only Ford and Stewart have OPS over .800
Well, I’m better than Lew. By a LOT! (thanks to DuPont)
![]("http://www.angelfire.com/film/mariaford/marianc.jpg"/)
The Twins had a Dougie and an A.J. Eyechart? Who was the last good team featuring brothers? The Giambi A’s? The Alou Giants? The 1977 Reuschel Cubs?
Oh, yeah, Maria Ford can dry-hump with the best o’ them.
We had the Law twins, Rudy and Vance.
I think I was the other Eyechart, not a relative of Dougie’s, just a another Slavic consonant jumble.
I forgot Lew, and yes, I thought he was black until about three months ago.
On Saturday Fox showed Ramon and Nomar sitting next to each other on the bench. You just knew that Chip was snuggling up to Steve Young in a bathhouse railing against tHom Brennaman for not making a clever comment.
Sadly, all over 18.
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Pleasantly, all on Cinemax!
http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html
We’re permanently linked to here at Desipio on the home page under "Stuff we like." Which is such a blatant rip off from the old Brill’s Content magazine that I’m shocked Andy hasn’t been sued by Steve Brill yet.
See, I told you I was Stupid…
Andy, did you know the first Olympic contestants competed in the nude? Kind of like the way you are when you visit the Lesbian Chat room.
Nomar,
That’s not true. When I visit the Lesbian Chat room, I always have my Birkenstocks on. And my Women’s World Cup tank top.
Doesn’t Greek Myth say I participated in the first olympics, too? I dominated that first ancient olympics, much the way that I am dominating David Groeschner’s mind.
The mistaken legend is that I died after running the first marathon. 2400 years later, a stupid Frenchman said, "Hey! A guy died running this distance in a war. Let’s have a race and see if anyone else dies! And let’s close the 1896 Olympics with this event!"
Achilles you dumbass, you had nothing to do with the Olympics.
No, but all you mofos sure makes sum tas-tee gyros at 3AM after a long night at Frizol’s Tap…
In today’s effort, Sports Guy thinks he’s mocking Nomar with this sentence.
Speaking of Gammons, in his NomarGate column yesterday, he wrote the single greatest paragraph of his entire career. Here it is.
"The fact that Mia was training for the Olympics and away for most of the season may have intensified the hardening of (Nomar’s) feelings toward the Red Sox. He missed her and her strength."
Translation: Poor Nomar is more whipped than Funny Cide.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/morecowbell/040810
This, from the guy who got a girlfriend and had to mention it every day for like two years? Just two weeks ago he referred to the Sports Gal four times in three days.
He also claims he doesn’t watch sports while he works on his column. Must be too distracting. I can imagine it’s distracting to watch something while you write about it.
Think about how hard we have it, we not only have to watch the games as we GameCast them, but we have Chip to constantly anger and distract us.
And no, he’ll never convince me that he’s not just bitter that Nomar’s gone.
Muahahahahahahaha.
You Olympic homos can keep on yapping. All I want is the name of the third girl in the blue bathing suit. And can you download her shorts (so to speak) from the file sharing "services"?
So Sports Guy thinks the Red Sox make Nomar hard in Mia’s absence?
Can we get this guy to cover Jim "Hall of Fame" Edmunds for a week?
Another reason I hate Harold Reynolds: Last night at the end of Baseball Tonight, when he was asked what the most important thing to happen that day was (keep in mind the Phillies, who are supposed be a contending team lost their everyday left fielder and traded for a starting pitcher) and Harold decides it is Edgar Martinez’s announcement that he is retiring at the end of the season. What the hell?
Sorry, CT, but Harold was right. Both Edgar and the Phillies are done playing baseball. The Phillies just don’t know it yet. When someone capitulates to the inevtiable, it’s big news.
Up next, Larry Bowa’s exit.
Hey Chuck! You think I’m capitulate? What does that mean?
It means you’ve relocated to Washington DC. As in, "The Montreal Expos will capitulate next year and move to RFK Stadium in Washington DC."
"Harold was right"?
Chuck, statements like that will destroy your credibility.
So a washed up player on a horrible team is retiring…will anyone besides Harold Reynolds miss Edgar Martinez? I know I won’t.
To say that Edgar’s retirement is more important than the Phillies trade is true.
While Harold may be the only person who will miss Edgar, that exceeds the number of people who miss the Phillies.
And on a day when, what, 4 games were played, and one of those was at Comiskey, Edgar is, justifiably, the Most Important Thing.
Well, other than Andre Rison going to the slammer for not paying child support.
Was anyone expecting me to be black when you heard about me as a hot-shot infielder in the Cubs minor league system?
Somebody better have a screen cap of Chip in that little orphan Annie wig. Also, was I the only one who saw Steve Stone’s nipple? I’m blind now. Someone send me a dog and a cane.
Not you, Edmonds.
Anybody else see me grab Nomar’s jersey when I tried to break up a double play? I’m sure that was legal.
Anyone else see my terrible call?
2-0 Cubs had I not made that call
You can’t have my dog and cane, Dolan. I can’t get around without them.
I’m at 4.74 and rising
Pardon me that’s now at 5.05
Meet Mark Prior.
Glendon Rusch has a better ERA and Win/Loss percentage than Prior
See 2003 stats for player:
Mark Prior
See 2003 stats for player:
Mark Prior
I’ll be on the DL tomorrow and for the rest of the season.
When you don’t pitch all spring training and bitch and moan about your weakass hamstrings, these are the results you get from a pamperedass baby in Prior.
And then i’ll call up Sergio Mitre to fill in valiantly for Prior, forgetting that Glendon Rusch even exists…
Do these guys realize we are in a playoff chase here and this is our most important series by far. Setting Ramirez out is pathetic on Baker’s part. I’m sure Nomar and Alou are next. It’s like they aren’t getting paid enough.
SAD-SAD-SAD-SAD-SAD-SAD-SAD-SAD
*drumroll*…………………….
Mark Prior
I think the Cubs should make a deal to aquire me……I can’t possibly give up more runs than Prior can and I can occasionaly pitch out of jams…..unlike Fluke Prior
Does anyone have the fake gun he used in Chips to beat Estrada to a bloody pulp? that guy is a horrible singer.
Dusty needs to throw out that lefty-righty bull and pitch hit your best hitters on the bench. Tonight that would be Aramis and Grud. We only score with solo homers anyway.
his ass needs to be planted on the bench. why couldn’t dusty rest ramirez in the brewers series next week? oh that’s right, the brewers are pretty much out of the wild card and the padres are right on our tail during the wild card. makes total sense dusty. about as much sense as your righty-lefty bullshit.
That is because the guys with the worst OBP were right in front of the homerun hitters. Not to mention, why in the world is the guy with the best OBP hitting 7th?
Not that it would usually matter, because 6 runs should be enough to win a game unless your ace gives up 8.
Nice night to sit me on the bench. We hit 5 solo homers. I could have had at least 2 which would have tied the game 8-8. Instead we got Macias to go 0-4. Real smart Dusty. You really want to make this Wild Card race interesting.
We are not the answer to a 1-2 punch.
Love,
Corey & Jose
Ready to see the Padres take to the Cubs again!!! Did Mark Prior spill Gatorade on his glove?
A call doesn’t go my way so I freak out and basically let the game go…who am I, Matt Clement?
I must kill the Padres tomorrow!
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