So, it’s come to this.  The Brewers, a franchise that is such an afterthought that they left the American League in 1998 and nobody even noticed, are apparently tired of Cubs fans coming to games and helping them fill up their weird pole barn with the garage door on top ballpark. 

They announced today that they’ll have a pre-sale where fans can buy as many as eight tickets to any of the Brewers ten home games against the Cubs this season.  But there’s a catch, that pre-sale is only open to people with a Wisconsin address.

Yeah, that’ll keep Cubs fans out.  Hell, half of northern Illinois has a cabin in Hayward, Wisconsin, and there is little doubt that there are more Cubs fans in the state of Wisconsin than there are Brewers fans.  Hell, there might even be more Twins fans in Wisconsin than Brewers fans.

But regardless, this is the thanks we get?  We went up there and provided the only decent crowds they had for years, and they have one season where they overperform their talent1 and suddenly they think it’s a good idea to act like…the Nashville Predators?

This whole thing is nothing but a publicity stunt anyway.  Illinois and Iowa Cubs fans will still be able to easily get tickets to these games through StubHub, but this is the Brewers way to act like only REAL BREWERS FANS ARE ALLOWED!  GRRRR!  GET SOME!

Oh, whatever.  It’s just another case of the Brewers writing their insecurities on a XXXL pair of dirty underwear and flying it like a flag.  Here’s how sad this stunt is.

Even the Cardinals don’t do this.  The Cardinals have a century long bug up their ass about the Cubs that runs so deep that even though they were a much better team than the Cubs for a very long stretch, they still have an inferiority complex.  It’s even worse now that the Cubs are clearly better than them, and have gotten really good at piling new indignities on them every season.  Oh sure, Cardinals fans love to brag that they have more pennants than teeth, but honestly, that would be true even if they only had three pennants.

They wear those really cool and original “Got rings?” t-shirts that proudly tout their 11 World Series championships.  Even though most of the guys who wear it (after cutting off the sleeves) have been alive for a whopping two of those World Series.  And might even have been out on parole for one of them.

Cardinals fans are quick to call every Cubs fan gay, and every Cubs player gay, and every…well, they pretty much call everybody gay.  But even the Cardinals don’t try to keep Cubs fans out of their park.

If the Brewers want to limit their revenue, who are we to complain?  That’s their fans’ job.

All we heard last year was how impressed we should be that the Brewers were competitive despite playing in the smallest market in baseball (it’s small because nobody wants to live there), with the lowest payroll (sports doesn’t grade on a curve, winning 88 games and spending $70 million in salaries is still 88 wins, and only matters to your billionaire owner who puts the revenue sharing check in his pocket) and with such a young team (with an average age of 27.4, which was actually older than the Cubs at 26.9).

Anyway, I just bought a doghouse on a tenth of an acre lot in New Glarus across from the brewery so I can snag 80 tickets to Cubs games at Miller Park and sell them on StubHub to Cubs fans for a tidy little profit.

So thanks!



Here are those annoying footnotes.

  1. And still finish six games behind the Cubs and miss the playoffs.