For the first time in my life, my two favorite college basketball teams landed in the top ten at the same time. While one faded and one surged towards the finish, both managed to get screwed. And, thanks to the selection committee, I’m guaranteed that only one of them has a chance to play past next weekend. Guh.

The potential of an Illinois-Notre Dame Sunday game at the RCA Dome in Indianapolis is great. I just wish it was the weekend of the 29th.

Regardless. Let’s look at the brackets.

Midwest
1. Kentucky v. 16. IUPUI — If you’re going to play Division I basketball, you need your own university name. Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis? Go away until you get your own name. Dolan College is available. KENTUCKY
8. Oregon v. 9. Utah — Oregon is no longer the Freddie Jones Band, and that hurts, but not enough to lose to Utah. The Ducks have the superior white guys. OREGON
5. Wisconsin v. 12. Weber State — The BADgers get the biggest trap in the Midwest. Weber State can flat out play. But it’s hard to see them figuring out Kirk Penney in time. WISCONSIN
4. Dayton v. 13. Tulsa — The Flyers deserved their high seed, and will prove it against the cradle of coaches–Tulsa? DAYTON

6. Missouri v. 11. SIU — SIU may have been the last team in the field, and their stay will be a short one. MIZZOU
3. Marquette v. 14. Holy Cross — Holy Cross would stand a much better shot if Marquette hadn’t just been upset in the “mid-major” Conference USA tourney. MARQUETTE
7. Indiana v. 10. Alabama — If Indiana can keep their players heads out of their opponent’s mouths, they’ve got a shot. I’d love to pick ‘Bama here, but they’re absolutely sliding off the highway. INDIANA
2. Pitt v. 15. Wagner — I love Robert Wagner and his college, but not more than PITT.

Kentucky v. Oregon — With their hair, don’t you think the Lukes from Oregon should be playing for Quin Snyder at Mizzou? They won’t be playing at Oregon anymore after this one. KENTUCKY
Wisconsin v. Dayton — Bo Ryan can coach, but their inability to come up with any answer for Ohio State on Friday was amazing. Dan Patrick’s alma mater rolls on. DAYTON
Missouri v. Marquette — I love Marquette. I really do. I’m a big Dwayne Wade fan. But, the only way I can see Marquette beating Missouri is if it comes down to one last shot and Missouri let’s Ricky Paulding decide when and where it should be taken….oops, it’s going to. MARQUETTE
Indiana v. Pitt — I think Pitt is overrated. I think any team with a point guard who shoots free throws like Shaq (Deron Williams, excluded of course) is in trouble. But Indiana just isn’t that good. PITT

Kentucky v. Dayton — When does Kentucky get a “tough” game? KENTUCKY
Marquette v. Pitt — I’m uncomfortable sending either of these teams to the Elite Eight. So I’ll just pick against Pitt. MARQUETTE

Kentucky v. Marquette — Kentucky might advance to the Final Four without playing a game decided by fewer than ten points. KENTUCKY

West
1. Arizona v. 16. Vermont — Maybe Lute Olson will tank this game since it’s “unimportant” like he did the Pac-10 Tourney opener. OK, maybe not. ARIZONA
8. Cincinnati v. 9. Gonzaga — Where’s Dan Dickau? Where’s Casey Calvary? Then again, where’s Kenny Satterfield? Cincinnati does nothing for me. GONZAGA
5. Notre Dame v. 12. UW-Milwaukee — Scumbag Bruce Pearl is the head coach at UW-Milwaukee and he’d deserve nothing more than a whack job in round two against Illinois. Maybe he can tape the concession telephone call? But though Notre Dame has struggled of late, UW-Milwaukee has no answer for Chris Thomas. NOTRE DAME
4. Illinois v. 13. Western Kentucky — If Chris Marcus comes out of retirement they’ve got a shot. He’s not coming back. ILLINOIS

6. Creighton v. Central Michigan — Central Michigan beat the mighty fighting Huskies of NIU three times. We don’t look on that kindly. CREIGHTON
3. Duke v. 14. Colorado State — If JJ Redick is in the gym, he’s open. He’s like Steve Alford with an equally bad haircut. DUKE
7. Memphis v. 10. Arizona State — A late brain cramp (and inexplicable free throw line ‘wink’) cost them the C-USA semi-final game against Louisville. This team can play. MEMPHIS
2. Kansas v. Utah State — I love Utah State. I really do. Actually, I like anybody up against Roy Williams. But I’m not that big a dope. KANSAS

Arizona v. Gonzaga — I’d love to pick Gonzaga here. Once again, I can’t. ARIZONA
Notre Dame v. Illinois — If this game were played in January, the Irish would win. As it is, this game is going to break my heart either way. But it’s not a tough pick. ILLINOIS
Creighton v. Duke — Kyle Korver versus the Dookies? Go Kyle! Dana Altman versus Coach K? Guh. DUKE
Memphis v. Kansas — I’m tempted, because Chris Massie is the kind of athlete who can make the nailed to the floor Nick Collison look bad. But really, does anybody want to see John Calipari win? KANSAS

Arizona v. Illinois — This is the matchup the tournament seems to want, every freakin’ year. And I’m going to pick it the same way I pick it, every freakin’ year. And probably be wrong, again. ILLINOIS
Duke v. Kansas — How can I not set up a head to head matchup with Jake? Besides, I love to pick against Roy Williams, because it’s fun to watch him cry. DUKE

Illinois v. Duke — I said it two weeks ago, and I meant it. Illinois can (and will) beat Duke. ILLINOIS

South
1. Texas v. UNC-Ashville or Texas Southern — How can we pick this until we know who… Oh, never mind. TEXAS
8. LSU v. 9. Purdue — Gene Keady in the big dance? The biggest lock of any first round game. Even bigger than any 1-16. LSU
5. UConn v. 12. BYU — Never bet on a Mormon. Ever. UCONN
4. Stanford v. 13. San Diego — This isn’t San Diego State? Stanford is always good for a first round flop. So why not? SAN DIEGO

6. Maryland v. UNC-Wilmington — I loved UNC-Wilmington’s used car salesman coach last year…but he’s gone! MARYLAND
3. Xavier v. 14. Troy St. — Is this Troy State as in super hunk Troy McClure? You know him from such films as “I Dismember Mama” and “Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die” but Troy’s not beating Xavier.
7. Michigan State v. 10. Colorado — Is this game being played in Boulder? No? Well, Colorado hasn’t beaten anybody outside of Boulder. MICHIGAN STATE
2. Florida v. Sam Houston State — Apparently (true story) Sam Houston State used to be the Sam Houston Institute of Technology. Check out that acronym? How can we pick against that? SHIT…uh, no…FLORIDA

Texas v. LSU — I miss Dale Brown. TEXAS
UCONN v. SAN DIEGO — The reason I could pick San Diego to beat Stanford is because neither team can beat UConn, so even if I’m wrong, it won’t matter. UCONN
Maryland v. Xavier — Maryland’s the trendy pick. Screw the trend. XAVIER
Michigan State v. Florida — I don’t like Michigan State this year. Other than Chris Hill, they don’t do it for me. But Florida can not rebound. MSU can. Go with Tom Izzo over Billy Donovan any day. MICHIGAN STATE

Texas v. UConn — The Longhorns tank job against Texas Tech troubles me. Plus, they don’t deserve a number one seed. UCONN
Xavier v. Michigan State — Xavier simply has more talent than Michigan State. Unless Zach Randolph comes back, go with the Musketeers. XAVIER

UConn v. Xavier — It’d be really cool if Xavier went to the Final Four, wouldn’t it? Plus, does anybody really like UConn? XAVIER

East
1. Oklahoma v. 16. South Carolina State — The Sooners nearly upchucked this afternoon against Mizzou, and Hollis Price is hurt. That said…OKLAHOMA
8. Cal v. 9. NC State — I really like Ben Braun. I just think he can coach, and I like Cal. CAL
5. Mississippi State v. 12. Butler — Butler deserved a bid. And a better fate than Mississippi State. MISSISSIPPI STATE
4. Louisville v. 13. Austin Peay — Remember when Fly Williams was at Austin Peay in the ’70s? “The Fly is open, let’s go Peay!” Yeah, he’s not there any more. LOUISVILLE

6. Oklahoma State v. Penn — I’m worried that when Eddie Sutton retires that Bill Self will head back to his alma mater. But why would anyone want to live in Stillwater? It makes Champaign look like Paris. That said, their Ivy League opponent is overrated.
3. Syracuse v. 14. Manhattan — I wanted to pick the Jaspers to beat somebody. But I don’t see it here. SYRACUSE
7. St. Joseph’s v. 10. Auburn — How did Auburn get in? Yikes. ST. JOE’S
2. Wake Forest v. 15. East Tennessee State — I’ll admit I didn’t pay much attention to Wake Forest this year. However, I paid less attention to East Tennessee State. WAKE FOREST

Oklahoma v. Cal — I’m tempted. But I like Oky too much to pick Cal there. OKLAHOMA
Mississippi State v. Louisville — This should be a great game. I hate to pick against Rick Pitino in the tournament. I just hate to. But I’m going to. MISSISSIPPI STATE
Oklahoma State v. Syracuse — Jim Boeheim is an idiot. Honestly, but even he can’s screw this up. SYRACUSE
St. Joe’s v. Wake Forest — I admit I haven’t paid much attention to Wake, and yet I pick them again. I’m a conundrum. WAKE FOREST

Oklahoma v. Mississippi State — As a great man sung, “It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap, we gotta get out while we’re young, ’cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run!” MISSISSIPPI STATE
Syracuse v. Wake Forest — I keep thinking that Boeheim will screw it up. But not yet. SYRACUSE

Mississippi State v. Syracuse — Here’s where he botches it. I like Mississippi State. Can you tell? MISSISSIPPI STATE

The Final Four

Kentucky v. Illinois — It’s been a great year for the Illini. A national championship awaits, especially next year if Charlie Villanueva comes to Champaign and not the NBA. But it’s not going to happen this year. Kentucky is too good. KENTUCKY

Xavier v. Mississippi State — I can’t believe I picked these two. Oh, what the hell. I’m riding the Bulldogs as far as Mario Austin can take them. That’s pretty far. MISSISSIPPI STATE

So it all comes down to Kentucky – Mississippi State III? In New Orleans? Just like today? This time, Mario makes the free throws, right? Nah. KENTUCKY

See how bold I am? OK, not very, apparently. But hey, when the Final Four has Illinois-MSU-Xavier in it, you won’t think I’m such a dope.

Maybe.