How about we just pretend last night never happened? The Cubs didn’t manage to get shut out with both E-ramis and Nomar in the lineup, Mark Prior didn’t give up a homer to Imaciated Izturis and we can just pretend that they’re supposed to be tied with the Giants today, anyway.
Instead, we can talk about three fascinating things.
1. The acquisitions of two incredibly-hard-to-find players, a catcher worse than Gabor Bako and a pinch hitting outfielder who makes Tom Goodwin look like Rusty Staub.
2. A hurricane that might force a Friday doubleheader and a Marlins’ home game next weekend in Chicago.
3. My fantasy football draft.
Ooh, you’re all excited about these prospects, aren’t you?
The Cubs traded two players to be named in separate deals yesterday to get Mike DiFelice from the Tigers and Ben Grieve from the Brewers. The reasoning, apparently was that they needed a third catcher down the stretch so that they can pinch hit for a catcher (i.e. the suddenly red hot Gabor) and not worry that if the backup gets a hangnail that they have to suit Todd Wellemeyer up in the catcher’s gear.
They traded for Grieve because Todd Hollandsworth is out until 2012 with his nerve crushing, and they wanted Lou Piniella’s whipping boy for their bench.
It’s tempting to remind ourselves that last year bums like Randall Simon and Josh Paul actually helped win games down the stretch, so this might just work, too.
Grieve’s not a complete closet case. He’s a one-time rookie of the year (just like Hollandsworth) and his numbers were downright mediocre this year. He hit .261 with seven homers and 29 RBI for Milwaukee and his on-base average is .364 for the season and .367 for his career. He has little power and his arm is comedically bad.
DiFelice has had two stints with the Satanic Red Fowl mixed in with time in Tampa Bay, Kansas City, Detroit and a World Series ring with the Diamondbacks. He’s kind of fat, he can’t hit and defensively he’s no Rick Wrona.
In equally impactful moves the Cubs have announced that they completed the purchase of an additional rake for the grounds crew. Exciting!
Karry interviewed Hurricane Psycho yesterday and though Psycho promised to hit coastal Georgia and steer north of Miami, the latest models (Weather Channel speak) show that it’s heading right for Pompano Beach and should be there by Saturday afternoon. With that in mind, Major League Baseball is working on a plan that would have the Cubs and Marlins play a doubleheader on Friday, send the Cubs north right after the second game and then make up the third game of the series in Chicago next weekend. Just like the Expos and Giants did last week, it’d be a doubleheader where the Cubs would be the home team for one game and the Marlins for another.
I have a plan for that Marlins “home” game. In the first inning, the fans should start throwing stuff on the field. They shouldn’t stop until the umpires are forced to rule it a forfeit to the visitors. The Cubs win and don’t even break a sweat. Brilliant. You’re welcome.
Now, about my fantasy football draft. I know that people talking about their fantasy drafts is one of the most boring things in the world. But this might actually interest you.
I’ve been in the same league for six years now and starting this year it’s a keeper league. We were all able to keep three players from the team we had last year. I kept Shaun Alexander of the Seahawks, Eagles QB Donovan McNabb and Bengals WR Chad Johnson.
Here’s my team:
QB- McNabb
RB- Alexander, Corey Dillon (NE)
WR- Johnson, Peter Warrick (CIN)
TE- Todd Heap
K – Adam Viniateri
Defense – Pittsburgh Steelers
Bench
RB’s – Moe Williams (MIN), Charlie Garner (PHI), LaMont Jordan (PHI), Marcel Shipp (ARI)
WR’s – Marcus Robinson (MIN), Amani Toomer (NYG), David Boston (MIA)
TE – Kellen Winslow, Jr. (CLE)
I know what you’re saying. Why would I go into a season with Warrick as my best second receiver? Why would I draft David Boston when he already blew out a leg?
I didn’t draft this team. I thought the draft was Tuesday night, but it was Monday night. It was an ESPN league and Auto-Pilot drafted for me. I actually think Auto-Pilot did a damn good job. I already released Boston and picked up Sexy Rexy Grossman to be my backup QB. I have two of the three best TE’s in football, so I can trade one for a WR to go with Johnson. For chrissakes, I literally slept through the draft, and I have the best team I’ve had since I won the league back in ’01. This is undisputable truth…again, that I’m not just a dope, but a lucky dope.
And if you’re in the league and you lose to me. Well, go tell it to Otto Pilot because he’s getting all the prize money. (Note to Otto Pilot…there is none.)
However, that brings us to our newest Desipio Fantasy Sports game.
Survival Football! You might know it better as a Suicide Pool. All it is, is a free game thanks to the good folks at Yahoo! where you sign up and pick a team that you KNOW is going to win that week. If you’re wrong, you’re out. The strategy, however is that you can only use a team once in the entire season. The Desipio League pays homage to the less politically correct name for this, our league is named “Suicide Is Painless.” If you now have the M*A*S*H theme stuck in your head…you’re welcome.
You can sign up for Survival Football here. The name is, of course Suicide Is Painless and the league number is 7787. Good luck. Remember the first game of the season is next Thursday night.
BECAUSE I’M A DOPE, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE PASSWORD IS MORAN. YOU’LL NEED THAT.
—
Last night didn’t happen, but if it did, here’s the story on what didn’t happen. Huh?
I’m no genius, but if a Hurricane is coming, wouldn’t it be pretty rainy on Friday?
Two huge trades that rocked baseball…or something.
Dave van Dyck shows that Dusty’s teams finish strong.
The Bears don’t have a number one receiver, they’ve got seven threes. That’s not blackjack.
So the Bears go into a season with three really good defensive players, Brian Urlacher, Charles Tillman and Walleye and of the three, two of them have a combined six practices under their belts? Yay?
Brady Quinn might be pretty good.
Notre Dame’s schedules are going to start easing up. Let’s hope they’re actually good enough to take advantage of that.
Dee Brown’s got a broken leg. Is that good? Sounds like he’s wearing Todd Hollandsworth’s boot.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut and he actually thinks we care about what he thinks about…anything. Check out this sentence. “Yes, I very much support the deal that brought this feared pass-rusher from the Miami Dolphins, especially the part in which the traditional Misers of the Midway actually coughed up $15 million in signing bonuses.”
Wait there, moran. Nobody’s looking to you for approval. You wear the same green shirt three days a week, so nobody’s really very interested in your opinion on anything except maybe to take a taste test of the Dave Matthews Band Septic Experience.
Man, Butch Davis really ran it up. The best line for all of this was on WGN radio this morning (don’t ask), Spike O’Dell asked Dave Eanet if a position player pitched the end of the game for the Tribe and Eanet said, “Worse, Esteban Loiaza did…and gave up six runs.”
SI with some interesting stuff about the Kobe Bryant rape trial. Read this and ask yourself, why don’t people change clothes more often? She’s wearing semen stained undies and he’s got her blood all over his shirt. Oh, and she sounds like she’s enrolled in the Toni Kukoc School of Shower Aversion. Eww.
The Wizard of Roz is back with a good look at Comcast Sports Net and some bad e-mails from complete nitwits, like the jackass who thinks the Cubs should make Carlos Zambrano the closer.
Teddy Greenstein with some national exposure. Though, he’s confused, he thinks Ricky Gutierrez is the QB of Michigan.
Rick Ankiel is back! Somebody re-pad the backstop!
Sandy Martinez is back in the bigs.
Can somebody just slap Alan Keyes in the back of head every time he says something stupid? Wait, that’s too many slaps.
Hurricane Psycho Update.
I want to party with Jenna.
America’s finest news source with the story of a Minnesota nudist who is the only one comfortable with this body. Yes, there’s a photo.
What is the password to join me?
Uh, Andy? We need a password for the league.
Jenna Bush is exactly like the dumb, easy girl at the sorority house everyone wanted to schtup. You just know she gives it up and good.
Yeah, me so horny. Cubs still stink too.
The password is: dumbass
Oh, crap. Let me go look. I’ll bet it’s moran.
I just reset it, it’s Moran.
I set this up like a month ago and decided to wait until the week before the season to promote it. By then, I’d forgotten the password. I should have used dope as the p’word.
Sorry.
I remeber chicks like them! We used to hang with some and use $100 bills for "Yale Skiing." Then we’d cannonball some Mad Dog 20/20 and drive down to Groten to see the submarine races. It was so cool with dad at the CIA. We’d get to go on the base! Impressed the hell outta those babes.
Christ! That’s my kids? MOM!!!! HELP!!!!1
Too poor for my taste. Under $100M net worth need not apply.
I may be a Democrat, but the Bush twins are hot. They’re rich party girls who are none too bright.
They’re the Hilton sisters with meat on their bones…
And they may not be deep enough for me.
![]("http://www.wonkette.com/images/kerryshlong.jpg")
10 wins until back to back .500 seasons…
Another website is reporting this afternoon that Dusty Baker was interviewed on the radio "calling out" Chip and Steve for "leaking information" to the press.
Did this actually happen?
Every time you see a Presidential Candidate in a wheelchair he ain’t always crippled…
Can’t. Get. Enough.
Cripes! Enough with the Bush twins worship. One is marginally good looking, the other had a close encounter with a shovel. These two aren’t pin-up material, and have really come across as foolish and moranic as a voice for young voters.
I’ll vote for G.W., but only if he locks his daughters away…
I want to revist the game from last night, even though Andy says it didn’t happen…
How gratifying to see Cub fans fleeing like scalded dogs after the loss last night. Us life-long fans are better off without the likes of your pedantic whining.
How many times does it have to be said? Prior is not going to be the pitcher he was last year. He’s not washed up; he’s just not 100%. Tossing him out with malice is ridiculous.
Doing the patented "The Cubs Suck" eye roll that many of the posters here do is just another example of the instant gratification they feel they so richly deserve.
This season is 162 games, with lots of hiccups, fits and starts, and instances of poor play.
In last night’s GameCast, B.C. said "No excuse to be four-hit in the middle of a playoff race. No excuse!" This is the usual blinders-on arm waving a large percentage of this crowd engages in during each Cub loss. The Cubs faced Livan Hernandez, a true stud stuck on a crappy team. Being four-hit in a game started by Livan Hernandez is not far-fetched, and should be expected to happen at any moment. He is a premier pitcher and the Cubs were bamboozled by him.
Get off this Cubs bandwagon if you don’t like it. Don’t just come around high-fiving for the victories and salivate with glee over firing off a marginally witty anecdote when the team goes down in defeat.
Yah! You are a bunch of gurlie-men if you think zees girls are goot to look at. You must have a too-muh or some-sing.
Everyone in Medicine Square Godden last night vaz disgusted to see the brown-haired vun make those stupid ironic "air quotes" that zee young kids do zees days.
It’s usually whiny Democrat kids doing zees quotes, to show how oppressed and downtwodden zey are. If I see zem do dis in fronta me, I’ll bust them in two and terminate them.
It’s no use though, fighting the bandwagoners. It’s not like they don’t just come flying back after wins. The Cubs have 30 games left, if they go 20-10 they’ll win the Wild Card. But if they go 20-10 it means we’ll have ten more of those "I’m out on the ledge and I can’t control myself or my bowels" incidents between now and October 3.
"downtwodden" made me laugh out loud.
Ah-nuld’s wife used to be kinda hot, but now she’s looking a bit too much like Uncle Ted.
By the way, I made my first Survival Football pick and I’m not telling any of you who it was. It’s set in stone unless David Carr gets hit by a bus or Reliant Stadium collapses or something.
I can’t get this stupid (unreleated) song out of my head.
Hou-ston Texans
Hou-ston Texans
Hou-ston Texans, number one!
We’re the Hou-ston Texans,
Hou-ston Texans,
Hou-ston Texans, number one!
Nice spelling, dope.
I look like Ted?
![]("http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Crater/5874/skeletor.jpg"/)
I claim Maria as my daughter.
I know it’s no use to shake my feeble old man’s fist at these johnny-come-lately Cub fans. However, their wild hacking at their wrists is disappointing. I wish they’d tap a vein and shuffle off this mortal coil.
I can’t abide these types who feel the Cubs owe them an error-free, 10-0 victory every time. Relax and enjoy the games–some are bad, some are good, others are great. Just don’t get any blood on me when Wood walks a guy in the 2nd inning.
Remember Julian Wright, the recruit the DI columnist was complaining Illinois fans were too obcessed about?
Supposedly, he added a school to his recruiting list today.
Kansas.
Yikes.
Meltdown alert in Chambana.
Ain’t I as hot as my cousins?
I still think the Cubs will win the Wild Card, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that they not play like they’ve got their heads up their @sses. Moises Alou has been doubled off on fly balls, 3 times this MONTH! That’s not so bad if the team is doing everything else right, but well, they’re not.
:::The Cubs have 30 games left, if they go 20-10 they’ll win the Wild Card:::
They haven’t done that all year. Why do you expect they will this year? Because they did it last year?
Last year, Mark Prior had an August ERA of 0.69. This year’s August? Move the decimal point to the right. Kerry Wood was throwing baseballs for strikes last August. In 2004 he’s throwing baseballs for gophers and body parts. Last year, Sammy Sosa was a bonafide threat. This year, Sosa threatens to keep this team in golf clubs after October 3.
The denial that this team is not good/distracted/dumb is amazing. I can see the post mortem (ty to CubsPundit):
At 100 games left people said there is time.
80 games left, no worries.
60 games left, they will start winning soon.
40 games left, hot streak just around the corner.
30 games left, tied for the lead.
0 games left, wait till next year.
Hey Chuck, anything can happen, I mean we were all but dead until we kicked the Cubs asses last weekend.
JH, I truly believe there is no excuse to be four-hit by ANYBODY when you are in a playoff race.
The Mets got five-hit by Josh Beckett last night, but that’s to be expected: They are out of the race. A playoff team shouldn’t need Ramon Martinez of all people to get a ninth inning hit to get to four hits. I believe there is no excuse for that type of performance against anyone if you are in playoff contention with only 30 games to go. That’s why I ask if anyone could confirm the Baker comments from that other website.
Andy, I don’t think the Cubs necessarily have to go 20-10 to get the Wild Card spot. In fact, I still think there’s a decent chance the Wild Card winner won’t get to 90 wins.
If the Cubs only go 16-14 or 17-13, they might still win it. Here’s why:
Florida has six left with us, along with six more against the Braves and seven against the Phillies (I know, they rule Philly). Their last ten are on the road.
Houston is in a really easy part of their schedule, but the Cubs get an equivalent slice of Pittsburgh and Cincy and it’s later in the year. Houston has six left with the Cardinals, and 3 with the Giants. Along with us, they probably have the easiest schedule left.
The Padres have five with the Cardinals still to play. They also have seven with LA and six with SF left. The bad part about their schedule for us is they play Arizona six times in the last nine.
The Giants are in the middle of an 11-game stretch against the Rockies and D-Backs. Then they get three with the Brewers. But, if they don’t have a decent lead after that, they will almost certainly be done. They end with 6 against LA, 6 against SD, and 3 with Houston.
Now, you can picture a scenario with any of those teams where they could get a really hot September, but it’s also somewhat possible none of them will "break" from the pack.
I, love,
hoagies when they’re hot,
cervezas when they’re not,
twenties that spin,
…and TWIIIIINS!
I 7 hit shutout the Cubs last year on 9/14/03 at Wrigley.
I gave up 5 hits in a 2-0 shutout at Wrigley exactly 1 year ago yesterday. Shit happens. Cubs still won the division.
"0 games left, wait till next year."
And, if they keep this crap up, only 3 or 4 games over .500.
Hey, everybody,
Chill out! The Cubbies get to face me tonight. I haven’t exactly been the picture of health this season, but when I have pitched, I have really sucked.
Sure, maybe you’d rather face Scott Downs-yndrome, but he’s a lefty, and we know how you guys hate lefties.
Houston still only has 2 legitimate pitchers left, and the Marlins aren’t getting better, they’re getting worse.
San Diego is not a legit team, and the Giants are seriously considering picking up Shawn Estes to round out their playoff rotation.
You think Prior gives up 5 runs next time out? You think Wood keeps hitting batters? You think Clement’s head falls off at the neck? You think Zambrano should be our closer?
Shut up!
But what do I know. I’m just Tony Armas Jr.
Why is it that all the teams (and there are many)with records similar to the Cubs have no chance or are not "legit"? Is it just an amazing coincidence or some sort of conspiracy?
B.C., those kinds of qualifiers ("if you’re in a pennant race with thirty games left, you shouldn’t be four-hit!") do nothing but serve as excuses for fans to complain.
New York got five-hit last night. Minnesota got five-hit on Sunday. Anaheim was six-hit on Saturday.
It’s a 162-game season. There’s every excuse for a team to get four-hit — teams will have bad nights once in a while, unless you’re extraordinarily lucky like the Mariners of 2001. There’s no excuse for a team to *consistently* get four hits in a game during a pennant race…but then again, a team that consistently gets four hits in a game isn’t very likely to be IN a pennant race.
Don’t look now, but here’s some scary stats:
C Pat: 2 for 22, 1 HR 2 RBI 5 K’s
P Bako: 3 for 19, 1 HR 1 RBI 6 K’s
Yes, Chuck those are very definitive stats. Start Bako in CF, that’s the answer.
Well, at least with Patterson, the power and strikeout numbers are about average for him. Over 550 ABs, 5 Ks per 22 ABs projects to 125 Ks (a little conservative for our free-swinging friend), and 1 HR every 22 ABs projects to 25 (about right). Considering that the sample size (four games?) is pretty small, I’d just say Corey’s in a slump, or possibly getting tired.
Bako just sucks.
Ooh, I scored some runs my last game so maybe I ought to spot Derrek Lee at 1b tonight? That loser didn’t even manage a hit yesterday!
"Considering that the sample size is pretty small, I’d just say Corey’s in a slump."
Before y’all jump on me with "No flurking SHNIT he’s in a slump, genius!", let me amend that — he’s just having a mild slump, and there’s no reason to begin crowing that he’s back to his old ways of massive suck.
B.C.–your theory holds no water and the argument you present is baseless.
Teams in contention shouldn’t get 4-hit? It just shouldn’t happen? It does happen, and it happens all over the league.
By that logic, no way should Zambrano 2-hit the Dodgers (a team in contention). Wait, he did do that. On May 13th this year. Still, I would wager you would paint it Cubby Blue, cheering it. I highly doubt you’d be saying "No excuse for the Dodgers to have been 2-hit by Zambrano." Instead, you’d be marking out, enjoying the victory that you saw through your Cubby Blue Blocker sunglasses.
I’m not a Corey hater…
But I think it’s more than a coincidence that Corey’s production is going down as his attempts at bunting have gone down.
JH, that happened in May, not late August or September.
Laying an egg like the Cubs did last night, in my opinion, shows lacks of effort, determination, and focus.
I think you could say the same for the Yankees last night and the other examples you gave earlier for contending teams that had similiar performances recently. Contending teams should be peaking late in the season, not giving their fans a lemon.
Well, I dunno about Bako in center. But I’d say anyone who thinks that Carlos Beltran ain’t better is the dumbassiest moran of all time.
And, yes, Corey is in a mild slump. It’s no coincidence that the slump coincides with the Cubs blowing 4 outta 5.
The key for Corey is how he responds. Historically, his surges are followed by weeks of poor play. If he tracks as he has, the team is cooked.
If he’s mature and starts bunting again (when was his last bunt ATTEMPT?) and that translates into him getting on base and out of his slump, 20-10 over 30 games is possible.
1) Corey will bunt for a hit tonight and…
2) Corey’s mini-slump will be over.
If the Cubs beat us two out of three times, as Meatloaf said, it ain’t bad.
We think it’s great that our team gets to play in Montreal this month. Yippee!
I could be on base every time up, and lately it would hardly matter. With Moises striking out or popping up every at bat, and Sosa pulling everything on the ground to the shortstop, I could get on and steal two bases everytime. If those two do what they’ve been doing the last few games, and I don’t steal home, it doesn’t matter.
Anyway, it won’t continue. The Cubs will score big tonight and go on a September tear to remember.
Patterson
Lee
Nomar
Alou
Sosa
Ramirez
Walkielanek
Barrett
Now, tell me we don’t win 18-22 games this month against the rabble we face.
You are welcome Cub nation. We just completed our sweeping. We mean the Astros did.
Hello, Cubs. You will lose 2 to the Braves, 1 to the Mets and probably 3 to the Marlins.
Can you do 14-4 against Montreal, Pitt and Cinci?
Okay, Corey. You don’t win 18-22 games this month against the rabble you face.
Okay, Corey. You don’t win 18-22 games this month against the rabble you face.
Okay, Corey. You don’t win 18-22 games this month against the rabble you face.
Sorry, Sloth, I didn’t quite catch that. What?
Anybody seen Baker Basher? Where is that pompous-ass hidng at today?
B.C.–That is writer’s pap that you spew. It’s no wonder you raise the ire of many on this site.
"Lack of effort, determination, and focus" is just clichéd writing out of the Mariotti Hack Writer’s Guide. Please tell me you have more than tired colloquialisms in your Journalism 101 handbook.
The effort is there every night. For you to doubt that is just more Cubs Suck! pants-wetting. Lacking effort means the team isn’t trying hard to win. Do you really believe that?
Determination and focus are merely overused platitudes that writers like to trot out when they don’t have meaningful criticism.
It’s much easier to just paint it all with a broad brush aided by a thesaurus and rehashed leftovers from a Chicago Sports Column template.
JH gets it.
Thanks for being the voice of reason.
"Determination and focus are merely overused platitudes that writers like to trot out when they don’t have meaningful criticism."
That is Jay Mariotti Defined.
Jerome Walton CF
Vance Law 2B
Kevin Orie 3B
Todd Hundley C
Brian McRae RF
Jeff Blauser SS
Gary Gaetti 1B
Darin Jackson LF
Andy Pratt P
Nope, I’d be in that lineup for sure. Basher and I are old friends.
You never played for the Cubs.
Get ready Cub nation. I am coming back home to my beloved Cubbies to play catcher. The Denver Broncos have traded me straight up for Paul Bako. The Broncos management is intrigued with the possibility of Bako being a run-stuffer at middle linebacker. So get get ready Cubs Nation because the savior (me) is coming back home.
Thanks for paying for my school Cubs!
So? I would play for the Basher!
LOVE the headline on this story in the Daily Herald:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=305&e=2&u=/cdh/20040901/lo_cdh/blackcontrollingshareholderslootedhollingerinvestigatorssayinreport
I mean, it isn’t just the blacks that loot.
A couple of things, ironically both from Chuck.
First he asks why the Cubs should go 20-10 this month (plus three days in October) when they couldn’t do that all year to this point.
Expos 4 games
Marlins 6 games
Pirates 6 games
Reds 8 games
Mets 3 games
Braves 3 games
And as for Chuck extrapolating the loss of four of five games from Corey’s recent slump, a more important stat might be this. Runs allowed in those four losses: FORTY.
Corey dropped one fly ball, if that allowed 36 unearned runs, then you’re right.
There was just some skit on SNL on E! that featured Todd Hundley, Mark Grudzielanek, Rondell White, Jeff Fassero, and a fuckload of other bad baseball players
I wish sloth would use me.
No woman has ever said that.
Some people will never get it.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/040901
Sports Guy claiming the Red Sox are winning because of the Nomar trade. Ignoring the fact that they could have left Nomar at short, gotten much better offense than Orlando Cabrera has shown and traded squat to get Doug Eyechart and Dave Roberts anyway. The reason they could have traded squat to get Eyechart and Roberts is that both of them suck.
And I hit on Helen Hunt too!
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/97/97ibaseball.phtml
The most entertaining thing Grudz has ever done was his exchange with Helen Hunt in the SNL sketch mentioned in #69.
Grudz: "Hey baby, I’m Mark Grudzielanek!"
Helen Hunt: "I don’t care!"
Also, Mark Wohlers calls Chris Kattan a fag.
I’ve been awesome for the Sox! I’m hitting .250 with a stolen base in 18 games!
As for Eyechart he’s hitting .246 with Boston with a .267 on base average and a homer in 22 games. To prove that he’s the perfect Fenway hitter he’s hitting .246 since the trade and he hit .246 with the Twins.
And O-Cab is hitting .278 with a .303 on base average while Nomar is hitting .306 with a .343 on base average.
His quotes form Curt Schilling and Johnny Damon are less than riveting, especially since Schilling is gasbag and Damon thinks he’s Jesus.
One guy who could have proven the moves are the reason the Red Sox are winning is the most defense-dependant of the Sox starters, Derek Lowe. He went 3-1 in August with a 4.19 ERA, but opposing hitters still hit better than .260 off of him and he allowed more hits than innings pitched.
You could actually make a more compelling case that the injury to Mark Bellhorn, thereby taking the most strikeout prone player in the AL out of the lineup had as much do do with the Sox win total than getting rid of Nomar did.
Whoever transcribed that thing couldn’t spell Rolen or Hundley but they got my name right? Weird.
Sure, Wohlers calls a guy a fag on National TV and I get suspended. Whatever.
Ankiel was lights out in AAA this year and he’s up for September. Is there any way I can add him to the playoff roster? What if he pitches great in some pressure-free September games and then starts pelting the No Pepper sign in Dodger Stadium in October?
The best thing we have going for him is that one of Kenny Williams’ kids is rooming with Ankiel’s dad.
I’m not the only person who doesn’t care.
Seriously, couldn’t they swing for some baseball players the average SNL viewer would actually recognize?
The best baseball-themed SNL skit was during the ’94 strike when they had a commercial parody of a Carribbean Cruise with MLB Players and then listed the players who were going to be on the cruise…and it was every player in the Major Leagues. The best part was Lenny Dykstra (one of about 15 players who were in the commercial) spitting tobacco juice all over the deck of the ship.
Andy, that cruise commercial was great.
"We’re on vacation. You should be too."
Helen Hunt, part of the joke was that these players weren’t that great. The little kid wanted to see Ken Griffey Jr. and got stuck with Todd Zeile and Gregg Jeffries.
I did sound pretty excited to see "Wow! Todd Hunley, from the New York Mets!"
Looks like my lack of clothes changing isn’t going to make much of a difference
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&e=1&u=/nm/20040901/ts_nm/nba_crime_bryant_dc
hi i’m hot
Yeah, and she was 16 when they started dating. We just love our son-in-law.
JH, you are entitled to your opinion. However, I still think playoff contending teams being unable to produce in these late-season situations is sickening and inexcusable. I don’t care who you are facing, getting only 5 or less hits or getting 2 or less runs against anybody, much less the Expos, in a late-season game doesn’t say a lot for that team that day.
I still think there is no excuse for the pathetic performance the Cubs had last night, and I would say that until the day I die.
I wrote a clever thing about the White Sox-Twins beanbrawls, and it was clever, and charming and all that.
So ESPN recruits me to do one for them, but guess what two teams they want me to re-enact
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=Ursu/040901
The only thing that could have made that game last night any worse would have been to sit through a BC GameCast of it.
Are you taunting me there MC?
So are the Cubs playing here or not?
Hey what about me and some of my Iowa friends? Why aren’t me and some of the other potential callups in the Major Leagues
Hey what about me and some of my Iowa friends? Why aren’t me and some of the other potential callups in the Major Leagues
I’m back from Indy today. I had to go up there for business. B.C., I got to see some of your scenic dumpy Southern Indiana towns again. I think everytime I see them, they just get dumpier.
Speaking of dumpy, are these Cubs going to play like that substance they are dumping in the toilet.
I hope somebody snaps their fingers and gets them out of this trance they’re in. We’re playing to get into the playoffs, not to play ourselves out of the playoffs.
I do agree with the rest of you that if we can go 20-10, we’re in.
Anything short of that, they’ll be going down to Florida to play golf instead of playing the Marlins.
Wood is pitching well tonight though. So I hope he can lead us to victory.
Hey what about me and some of my Iowa friends? Why aren’t me and some of the other potential callups in the Major Leagues
For that triple post.
Hey Chip was just saying how good the Expos bullpen. How come he failed to mention that we have a 0.00 ERA in September.
I am the Shawn Estes of baserunning. Worst in the league.
Sorry guys, I really had to piss so I had to get that inning over with.
Well, tonight’s an improvement!
5 hits through 7 innings after last night’s awesome 4 hits through 9.
I think we’re screwed again tonight. Wood pitched one hell of a game and he’ll be coming out after this inning. We’ll see Macias or Goodwin’s worthless pitch hit. Korey and Lee will probably go down on strikes.
Then our great bullpen will venture out in the 8th. Who will be the sacrificial lamb tonight?
Wood’s got some balls there in the 8th. Kerry’s the only one playing tonight on the Cubs team. It’s just too bad he didn’t hit a homerun last inning. I’ll be amazed if we pull this thing off tonight.
Can Kerry go about 14 until his arm falls off? If not, we don’t have a prayer in hell to win this one.
The Cubs can’t score a run off our pitching staff. We’re awesome.
I just ejaculated all over the Expo bullpen. They are dominating.
Patterson and Lee
0-7
5 K’s.
Chuck, you have my permission to bash the hell out of Korey. That guy stinks tonight.
Batista beats us in the 9th with homerun off of one our useless relievers.
That might wake us up- getting shutout 2 game in a row by the worst team in baseball.
B.C., what the hell are you prattling on about? This "no excuse for a poor performance" rant is forgetting one very key point — EVERY TEAM HAS A BAD NIGHT. Even the Hellbirds from St. Louis got, I think, three-hit last week, and as much as I like to rip on the Cards, I have to admit that they’re a hell of a team.
When so much of what happens on a baseball field is dictated by nothing more than luck, this kind of over-wrought hysteria is downright embarrassing. We all need to keep some perspective, folks.
Someone could be a rich man with betting on Sosa’s K in the 9th.
2 outs with runners in scoring position? Game on the line.
I’ll go down looking. MVP! MVP!
I hope Kerry stays in. But I don’t think he will.
Brutal. Can’t even scratch across a run…
Our pitching continues to dominate. Maybe these Cubbies should bring up folks from Des Moines to hit this AAA talent. The pros just can’t handle it.
It wasn’t my fault guys, it was the umpire’s fault.
An Expo will win it here with a homer.
Timmy B.,
What kind of perspective should we have? We’re on the verge of getting shutout and beaten by the Expos two nights in a row.
The Montreal Expos- the worst team in baseball. This is at a time when we need to win the most.
I think the Cubs love this torture to their fans. If this keeps up, they will go down as one of the most hated teams ever in the game of baseball in the city of Chicago.
This is one sorry ass group.
Say what?
Nice warning track shot by Batista, Mike. I bet you had as much sweat as Joe Bo would have had on that one.
That ball wasn’t even close to the warning track.
Whoa, man, I learned to bunt!
If Gonzalez beats us next inning, I’m going to throw up?
Hey, Corey. They are WALKING me to get to you. Me of the .100 PH average. Me that is a good hitter and all, but never when I don’t start. This is how bad the Expos think you are. Make them sorry for that, huh?
Korey surely can’t strikeout 4 times, can he?
I don’t like Montreal.
I can, I will, I did.
We suck, we suck, we suck we suck we suck.
We suck, we suck, we suck we suck we suck.
An Expo will win it with a homer here.
I say we have Korey and Sammy duke it out in a gunfight. Surely one of them would hit the other one with a bullet. Unlike making contact with the ball tonight.
At least that inning, we got rid of Tom Goodwin on the base paths instead of seeing him take 3 strikes.
Say what?
So if this game goes through the order again, the PH will be Macias, huh? I say go with Gabor, he’s got the hot bat after all.
We figure if we don’t score, and make sure Montreal doesn’t score, then we don’t have to go up face to face with Hurricane Psycho Friday.
It’s so bad, the Expos don’t want to win this game.
I think there is a some type of conspiracy going on here.
11 innings of this bullshit.
Something just isn’t right.
Fuck Gabor, I’m available.
This game is so boring and annoying and yet I can’t stop watching.
Ooh, Ben Grieve! Whatever. I say PH with Maddog, he’s on a tear.
Yeah, me in center was a bad idea.
We have gotten really good at throwing our bat down after we pop up.
Surely, I can’t strikeout 3 times tonight, can I?
Will it take 4 or 5 pitches to strike out Sammy Sosa, who’s been making like Jose Hernandez since June??
Our best chance to score is to steal third and hope for a bad throw.
Nice work, Andy. You rip me, but don’t answer the question I pose:
Given:
Expos 4 games
Marlins 6 games
Pirates 6 games
Reds 8 games
Mets 3 games
Braves 3 games
I say the Cubs lose 3 of the Marlins games, 2 of the Braves, and 1 of the Mets. You don’t dispute, so I guess you agree.
That leaves a needed 14-4 against the rest. You don’t dispute, so I guess you think that’s possible. Possible with Prior pitching like Mitre.
But hey, bash me.
Still waiting for the Korometer. If this game goes 12, he’ll go from golden sombrero to golden shower.
Sammy, where was that single a couple innings ago asshole?
Rick Ankiel taught me that when I was an Edmonton Trapper.
Grud, this is the time to get out of Dusty’s doghouse. Baker would even buttplug you tonight if you get that run in whatever way you can.
That’s what it takes to score. And then one very rattled reliever to get a run-scoring single. Whoo.
Please, bullpen, save me from batting again!
I think we all owe Claudio a Christmas, birthday, Thanksgiving, and anniversary card after that wild pitch.
You’re kidding. I’ve never BEEN in Dusty’s doghouse, he loves me. That said, if I hadn’t gone a hit off that god-awful reliever, that would have been really really pathetic.
Are Maicer and Gabor 3rd cousins?
How did we score there? I’m on Gamecast and it put 2 on the board and the inning was over. Did Grud get a hit?
It wouldn’t be a game without a little drama from our vaunted bullpen, no would it?
Yup. They managed a hit off of me.
It’s Macias time!
I bet I homer here.
That’s enough said.
We all look like we’re having little heart attacks. Like, we won? Damn!
We dodged a large Olympic Stadium-sized bullet there.
Whoo… (Wipe off sweating forehead.)
I’m going to bed after that one. I’m assured I won’t have any nightmares sleeping tonight. I already had one with this game.
We managed to win 2 of 3 despite not scoring in 24 innings. That’s a real feat right there.
Ironically, 2 of 3 is what was needed.
Now, what’s needed is for Korey to go away and for Corey to come back.
This guy will trick you. He will. He’ll keep doing it.
would have worked, too.
I suckkkk. Hope Marvell Wynne doesn’t come back to take my place.
The lesson of this game:
Even if the offense is torturously bad, if you score more than the other team by the end of the game, you win.
"What kind of perspective should we have? We’re on the verge of getting shutout and beaten by the Expos two nights in a row."
Perspective enough to wait until the team actually loses 2 of 3 before you complain about such a thing happening, brainiac.
"The Montreal Expos- the worst team in baseball. This is at a time when we need to win the most."
This is why people dislike you. You talk out of your ass. The Expos are the worst franchise in baseball but not the worst team; they play well at home and we just took 2 of 3 from them there. So what the hell’s your problem?
Again, I suggest that you go root for a team that makes your life better. This one is clearly no good for you.
I agree with you 161, the baker basher has made no worthwhile points. He just predicts a bad situation everytime, so when it happens he is right. I guess it makes hime feel warm and fuzzy that he predicted it. He needs to root for the yankees or lakers, they love fans like him. Remember the sanatic red fowl loss 2 out 3 in Montreal. Ask the Astros how they did against them? Or maybe the Dodgers? The basher obviously has an obsession with his anus because that is where his assface is most of the time.
I thought we were the worst team in baseball.
People like Baker Basher who post without a real name or e-mail should be ignored. Arguing with anonymous posters is like being in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still a retard.
The anonymous posts ought to be reserved for smart-ass comments, questioning Chip’s sexuality, and venting your spleen out of frustration. It’s a friggin’ bathroom wall, and that’s what’s great about it. If you’re trying to argue a cogent point, then put your real name or e-mail so you can at least back up your observations with a little conviction. Otherwise, you’re just a lame, cowardly troll.
Take B.C., please. He embarasses all of us Cub fans at times, but for chrissakes at least he’s putting himself out there, not hiding behind some lame handle like "Baker Basher" or "Bullpen Basher". B.C.’s posts the last two days have had me searching for some carbolic acid that I could pour into my eyes and blind me, but give the kid credit–at least he’s standing up and taking the hits like a man–even if he is seriously misguided and hysterical.
Speaking of which…
I must say that this ledge-jumping drives me nuts, anonymous or not. It only reinforces the stereotype of Cub fans as being front-running losers who break into angry fits self-pity when the team struggles. Take a friggin breath and get a grip on reality. This is the stereotype that Andy has been trying to undo here. It’s not easy–it’s a generational burden that’s in our DNA, but we don’t have to be slaves to it. It’s a new day, assclowns. Go to cubstalk.com if you want to preach your "end is near" sermons.
Mike D,
I agree with most of what you say, until you get to the part about the Cub fan stereotype. The typical Cub fan has always been portrayed as the clueless schmuck who goes to games and does not care what the score is, as long as he got drunk and Sammy hit a couple of homers. The eternal optimist in spring training who will always be let down by July. The team’s success last year, merely jacked up the optimism for this year to the point that most fans expected a 100 win season and runaway division title, followed by a trip to the World Series, since hey, we were 5 outs away last year. Unfortunately, a lot of people forgot to take into account that we’d actually have to, you know, play the season.
I agree that all the wailing and nashing of teeth is getting a little old. I started out the season hanging on every win and loss, wondering if that was the one that would start us on a hot streak, or lose us the Wild Card by one game. Well, that’s over. The last time I checked, an exciting playoff race was supposed to be, you know, fun. I have come to terms with the idea that the world won’t end for me if the Cubs miss the playoffs. Now I’m going to enjoy some September baseball.
I agree. Besides, this year’s Cubs team is nowhere near where we are in terms of disappointments!
You’ve got a point, great state of Connecticut. There is also THAT fanboy stereotype that we’ve had to fight; but that pertained to when the team actually stunk. Granted, small is the sample size of good Cubs teams but, on the rare occassions that they have been good, we seem to adopt that Red Sox, fatalistic "other shoe will drop" flinch. Granted, ’69 ’84 and ’03 have served to justify this mania, but it’s still irrational.
When a good Cub team starts playing poorly, it seems that all hope is lost. Perhaps it’s because wer’e really not accustomed to having a perennial winning ballclub, but the point remains that there does seem to be a collective "sky is falling" mentality when they struggle.
Trust me, I’m no pollyana. I’m as upset as anybody when the Cubs scuffle. The way they’ve played in the past week has kept me up at night. But to take the time to sit at the keyboard and vent your spleen with this frustration is a whole other step. On behalf of all Cub fans, I feel embarrased when I see such fatalistic ponderings.
If triangles made a god, they would give him three sides. by online poker
Among the progress of the human mind that is most important for human happiness, we must count the entire destruction of the prejudices that have established inequality between the sexes, fatal even to the sex it favors. One would look in vain for reasons to justify it, by differences in physical constitution, intelligence, moral sensibility. This inequality has no other source but the abuse of power, and men have tried in vain to excuse it by sophisms. by adipex
This survival of the fittest which I have here sought to express in mechanical terms, is that which Mr. Darwin has called “natural selection, or the preservation of favoured races in the struggle for life. by virtual casino
Homosexuality is not ‘normal.’ On the contrary, it is a challenge to the norm; therein rests its eternally revolutionary character. Note I do not call it a challenge to the idea of the norm. Queer theorists – that wizened crew of flimflamming free-loaders – have tried to take the poststructuralist tack of claiming that there is no norm, since everything is relative and contingent. This is the kind of silly bind that word-obsessed people get into when they are deaf, dumb, and blind to the outside world. Nature exists, whether academics like it or not. And in nature, procreation is the single, relentless rule. That is the norm. Our sexual bodies were designed for reproduction. Penis fits vagina: no fancy linguistic game – playing can change that basic fact. However, my libertarian view, here as in regard to abortion, is that we have not only the right, but the obligation to defy nature’s tyranny. The highest human identity consists precisely in such assertions of freedom against material limitation. by poker strategy