The last time the Cubs had a prolonged delay because of a non-baseball event was when baseball shut down in the days following September 11, 2001. The Cubs had begun their fade in the NL Central and a few days off did nothing to slow their fall.
This year the Cubs are at home sitting out a hurricane that’s headed for Florida. So while the rest of the NL Wild Card teams are in action this weekend, the Cubs will be hanging out in Chicago, and the Marlins are back in Florida trying to find a safe place for their wives and girlfriends to ride out the storm. A little advice fellas, keep the wives away from the girlfriends.
There’s still no official word on when, or if, the games will be played. It seems likely now that both tonight’s game and Saturday’s will be rained out, leaving only the hope that the weather, and condition of the surrounding area will allow a doubleheader on Sunday. Otherwise the teams could have three games to make up in the last thirty days of the season. The Cubs have promised the commissioner’s office that they’ll win the wild card by more than three games. The commissioner’s office has an account at CubsTalk.com and they’re pretty sure the Cubs stand a better chance of finishing three back.
So there’s just not that much Cubs baseball to talk about. Kent Mercker got suspended for his manic day on Friday that included calling Chip and Steve in the pressbox, hitting Roy Oswalt with a pitch and yelling at erstwhile umpire CB Bucknor twice. Mercker will get three days. The Marlins immediately appealed his suspension so he’ll be around to pitch this week for the Cubs. Those Marlins are thoughtful.
The Bears play their final preseason game tonight against the Browns. The final preseason game is valuable for two reasons:
1) You get to see all of the guys who won’t make either team play for the last two hours.
2) You can get drunk watching the game and if you pass out you won’t miss anything of any importance.
That’s about it.
There is college football, however. Chris Patton of IlliniBoard.com even made his picks.
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You can still sign up for our Survival Football pool at Yahoo! Sports. It’s free…and you can’t beat that.
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/survival
The league # is 7787, the name is Suicide is Painless and the password is moran.
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The fall TV season gets into full swing next week, but let’s take a moment to look at a couple of shows that debuted this summer.
Entourage, HBO, Sundays
Marky Mark Wahlberg is the executive producer of this series which is based loosely on his experiences in Hollywood after he started to make it “big.” If you go by that there should be a definite story arc. It should go: no name from the east coast makes it as a “singer” because his brother is in a boy band, he starts to make a name for himself in movies, he makes Planet of the Apes, his career flounders into oblivion.
The reason “Entourage” is a good show is basically because they don’t muck up the episodes with little things like plots. That’s not even a criticism. Each show is basically a way to show how a handsome, mildly talented actor, can get a career and three friends from back home can live happy lives sponging off him and banging his strays. There’s nothing wrong with that.
The best part of “Entourage” is Jeremy Piven’s character, Ari. Ari gets the best lines every week, and Piven doesn’t waste them. It’s odd to see him in a role that doesn’t have something to do with John Cusack, but he does a good job here. Piven is, of course, best known for being in every Cusack movie, and for his role as the nettering dean in Old School, and for his immortal work in Singles when he got a laugh out of holding up a home pregnancy test and saying, “Or, you may be busy.”
The show does lose a few points for the amount of tail that Turtle gets. It’s just not realistic. I know that California star f@#$ers will do anything to get close to a star, but I doubt that Turtle would be able to get it as easily as he does in this show. Only one time has he had to beg. Multiply that by every time and you’d be closer.
Rescue Me, FX, Wednesday
I’m one of the few people in the world who actually thinks Denis Leary can act. He’s made a career out of acting like a prick (wait…that might not be acting), and he is funny. In “Rescue Me” he gets a chance to act…act like a prick…and be funny. It’s the perfect Denis Leary role. He plays Tommy Gavin, a New York City fireman who lost his cousin on 9/11, has split with his wife and lives across the street from her. Some of the plots have been a little too neat. The chief beat up a gay fireman and got off the hook when his gay son testified on his behalf. One of the fireman had a crazy, drug abusing former lover show up with a five year old daughter she said was his, and it turned out to be his, and then she od’d and died and he gave the girl up for adoption, then changed his mind, then changed it back again (all in two shows…)
But there are some genuinely funny parts in the show, and the cast is pretty good. I’m already tired of the whole “Tommy sees dead people” thing, but there’s more to the show than that. I’ve seen a few episodes of “The Shield” so I know how much they can get away with on FX (a lot), and that certainly adds to the edginess in this show.
It’d be easy for a show about guys in the FDNY being one long morbid ride, but this one’s not. At least not yet.
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The Marlins are busy trying to find places to hide. No, not from the Cubs. Though Juan Pierre did wish the Pro Player walls had ivory like Wrigley does, he’s pretty sure ivory is hurricane proof.
When people’s homes are about to get smushed like they were made out of toothpicks, it’s tough to piss and moan about how screwed up the baseball schedule is going to be…but it is going to be pretty screwed.
Kent Mercker just got sent to his room.
Jim Kirk says that Wrigley might install a sign board behind home plate. Big whup, Fox and ESPN bring one with them when they do games at Wrigley.
Phil Rogers is getting squishy about the fishies.
David Huh on the Bears’ front line.
David Huh on Justin Gage.
Mike Kiley uses his “day off” to write long and pointless about the Cubs v. Chip and Steve.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to opine about Ty Willingham.
John Jackson says Notre Dame’s schedule is up for revision.
The Wizard of Roz on Andre Dawson’s hurricane preparedness.
Former President Bubba is in the hospital for emergency quadruple heart bypass surgery.
The Dolphins might not show for tonight’s preseason game in New Orleans.
America’s finest news source with some pool safety tips.
Bye bye San Jose
I’m of to ruin my career by arguing with that idiot Woody Paige on Cold Pizza on ESPN 2
Good luck Skip, you smarmy, little hack.
Andy, just because Mariotti and I fight over the last doughnut in the newsroom doesn’t mean we’re the same guy. How about fixing my link?
I’m one of the few who like Skip. I also firmly believe that he’s one of the dumbest humans alive.
While stationed in Dallas, he writes that Troy Aikman is gay, and that the rest of the ‘boys aren’t model citizens.
After he gets run out of Cowtown he lands in Chicago, only to leave in a pissing match over ‘creative differences’. Hey buttplug, all of us hate our boss, so deal.
Then he lands in San Jose (lucky dog) but he thinks ‘Cold Pizza’ has more upside?
Moran.
It seems that Mike Kiley wrote his article on Chip & Steve under his pen name of Carol Slezak
Andy my man,
While not absorbing any direct shots my own self, I do closely resemble most of the naysayers you describe above.
So they may end up with a winning record 2 years in a row. What does that mean, these days? Not much. It IS progress over the days when they sucked dik, but I’m old enough and bitter enough not to get excited over rising from ‘mediocre’ to ‘contending’.
For all the money they are spending, and all the moves they are making, they should be doing more than taking baby steps.
I want a pennant winner NOW!!
While a pennant NOW would be nice, it’s impossible, since the playoffs don’t even start till October. So chill out, and enjoy the last few weeks of the season. The Cubs finally have enough talent to be contending in September not just two years in a row but for the foreseeable future. Relax, and enjoy. This is way better than back-to-back 95 loss seasons…
"Wait… Wait… No I never had a chance to love you!"
Great. First the M.A.S.H. theme song, now this. Thanks a lot, Andy.
You would have your precious pennant sewn up if only Hendry had had the insight to hire us to play instead of the feeble carbon-based organic life forms. Muahahahahahahaha!
Oh, come on Sloth. Git your get up. This is going to be a joy to behold as a bunch of whiny players try to take what they think is already theirs.
How are lucky are these guys that they aren’t Yankees? If they think Steve is tough, what would they think of the entire New York media? The training table would be replaced with a shrink’s couch.
Nobody did rage funnier than I did, but Denis Leary is close. And besides, I’m deader than the Expos playoff chances.
Now, that Alex Kaseberg, he is one funny son-of-a-bitch
Thanks for the link to the picks, Andy.
I stopped watching the Northwestern-TCU game last night thinking I was up 1-0 going into the weekend. Imagine the lack of tackling that will be on display when Illinois and Northwestern play.
Early pick: NU 243, U of I 240
Is it just me, or did the Cubs seem to gain more ground in the Wild Card by not playing yesterday than they did the rest of the week?
Nobody does rage funnier than I do.
Now a hurricane in Florida right when the Cubs were going to get their ass pounded by the Marlins? Someone is always looking out for the Cubs, dammit!
Zell Miller…ppffft!
Just on general principle alone, if he walked into my cube right now, I would grab him by the throat and try to throw him out my window.
You can’t do that to Zell, Sloth. Sunlight is leathal to him.
You have a window in your cube?!? YOU LUCKY, LUCKY BASTARD!
http://amishgeek.com/misc/vids/robotdance.wmv
Hey, it’s less than 2 minutes long and cooler than Troy and funnier than White Girls.
And even if it’s not…You didn’t pay 9 bucks to see it and you only lost 2 minutes of your life(non refundable).
Well, Andy put some criticism to me a while back saying the Giants wouldn’t last until the end in the Wild Card race. I thought he was insane. Even with Bonds being walked three times a game at minimum, their offense was scoring a ton of runs. But, I have to admit it…
He was right.
Think about what transpired last night. Jason Schmidt stunk it up again, and he’s the only Giant starter even worth a crap. The Giants were down 6-1 and did get it back to 6-5, but our old friend Michael Tucker made like Moises and got picked off first in the bottom of the 9th to end their chances.
So, the Giants lost 2 out of 3.
At home.
To the Rockies.
Yep, Andy was right. Let’s hope that 20-10 prediction (Now 19-10 with Wednesday’s win) was right too.
Just because I have a tumor on my pituitary gland doesn’t mean I did steriods. Just like Kobe and the Juice didn’t do it. We all are innocent.
I ate way too many Big Macs in that SNL skit with me in the McDonalds, pounding down tons of greasy food.
I ate so much and started laughing, almost choking to death until Rob Schneider gave me a Coke.
I’ma waitn’ for ya’ Big J. Didn’t you spend time in Oakland, too? Must be something in the syrin… ahh… Colesium water.
But Lyle my tumor is benign, so I won’t see you too soon. I agree with you that water in the Colesium is tainted. Another question, why are nuts shrinking?
Oh, well, we’re just going to have to spend another $10 million on a first baseman next year!!!
I would love to play in the Bronx. Me love NYC sluts very much.
I’m also an ESPN Page 2 luminary now.
Any time you get a Dose with me in it, you know it’s good.
And what is it with lame sports-journos with the name ‘Skip’?
You’re right Andy. They gave up way too much for me. Andy Pratt! Not only do you get rid of him (and me, at the end of the year), but you get to face him 18 times a year!
Yeah, your right Ben. wasn’t I supposed to be the AAA league leader in K’s last year? I better get back to the clubhouse of the (Rookie-A) Arizona Brewers.
Regarding Bill Clinton, I just want to send my thoughts and prayers out to…all the hospital nurses Slick Willie will surely be hitting on the moment he wakes up from surgery! They may feel his pain, but Clinton wants to feel THEM!
I just broke my hand punching the clubhouse wall. Now I can hang out with Farnsworth for the rest of the season.
Kevin, I would have used my pitching hand.
You big p u s s y
I may a former reality show host-turned-CNN anchor/reporter, but at least I have good fashion taste.
While reporting from Florida last night on Hurricane Frances, I was seen wearing a Chief Illiniwek hat.
CHIEF!!!
Fuck you Frances
Hey, it’s Monday and the Cubs are finally playing. But no Sammy in the lineup…is anything wrong?
Sammy’s got bursitis in his right hip.
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