The Cubs did everything right last night (well, except for Ryan Dempster–the man who perfected Chip’s “rocket shot” call) and inched another half game closer to the Giants in the wild card.

The Marlins moved eight miles south and played before the largest crowd at US Cellular this year (about 5,000), and thanks to an eighth inning that would have made the Expos “honorary Cubs” the Fish survived a shutout bid by Sun Woo Kim Woo.

The news on Nomar is that he’s out at least five days, which given the track record of this Cubs’ training staff means he’ll be ready for action on Bulls’ opening night.

But the Cubs are now winners of three of their last four and with 21 games left, baseball sage Steve Stone thinks 13-8 the rest of the way will get it done.

Thirteen and eight? Wouldn’t that scenario also include the Marlins and Giants planes crashing into each other?

Whatever the number, it just seems obvious that the Cubs are going to tease us all the way. They got dazzling play out of Neifi Perez again last night (I’m sure that’s going to last) and even Gruddy got into the act. The Pirates were ready to go without a peep until Dempster’s arrival, whom they used for batting practice. But thanks to consecutive diving plays from E-ramis, Neifi and Derrek Lee, Dempster survived and only gave up two runs.

Intrepid reader Chris Troha passed along this from today’s Feder column :

*While he considers a contract renewal offer (and a raise) from WGN-Channel 9, Cubs play-by-play announcer Chip Caray is free to entertain offers elsewhere. This week marks the end of Caray’s exclusive negotiating period with the Tribune Co.-owned flagship station.

Grandson of the late, legendary Hall of Fame announcer Harry Caray, Chip Caray has occupied the Cubs broadcast booth since 1998.

Don’t get too excited. Just like the Cubs offering Chip a contract to meet the first deadline, it makes business sense for Chip (and his agent, assuming there’s a person who would actually want to sit down in a room with him) to let him out on the open market. You would hope that somewhere, preferably in Florida, there’s a team dumb enough to hire him. If his imaginary family is actually real, wouldn’t Chip want to move closer to them? Tampa and Miami both have teams, couldn’t one of them open the check book and steal away the world’s greatest announcer? (Flinch, flinch, gag, gag).

The Dose has to be short today, so I’ll leave you with this:

Mariotti put down the doughnut today to announce he’s now rooting for the Marlins.

With no apologies whatsoever to the Cubs, I am rooting for the competition. That’s how warmed I am by the saga of the Florida Marlins, Chicago’s house guests, who’ve been burdened by a real-life ordeal yet are handling it with all the stress of frat guys on a panty raid.

First off, Mariotti once went on a panty raid and this what happened:

Secondly, are we really surprised that the biggest windsock in all media has now jumped on the Marlins bandwagon. He’s so impressed with how they’ve handled the Hurricanes. What are they supposed to say?

“This sucks, I mean it’s obvious that the hurricanes are just a plot to keep us from winning, and if our fans weren’t too dumb to live on a little strip of land sticking out into the Atlantic we’d be in a city where rotation weather patterns didn’t keep us from playing baseball…or keeping our lawn furniture?”

As for digging up the Steve Stone-Chip Caray v. the Cubs thing…again, we don’t expect Jay to keep doing it. Nah, he’ll stop sometime in September…of 2006.

The world’s greatest newspaper found an island full of trannys in the the Pacific.