It had all of the subtlety of a kick to the groin, and like a kick to the nads it got their attention. The Packers were on their way in for the go ahead score in what they assumed would be another walk in the trailer park against the Bears. Ahman Green was toting the pelota in his left arm, even though every coach worth his whistle forces runners to always keep the ball in their outside arm. Brian Urlacher saw the ball and just couldn’t resist. He wrestled it away from Green like Sara Rue on a pork chop and Mike Brown scooped up the ball and went 95 yards for the touchdown. The best part of the play came when the Hillbilly QB decided to stick his neck in and try and tackle Brown, only to be tossed into the chain gang by Urlacher. The Bears were up 14-3 and would never look back. In the mediocrity-is-bliss NFL, you can go from beating the defending NFC Champs on a Monday to getting pounded into submission by your former doormat neighbor the next.
It was more than just one play that defined an afternoon. In fact, one sequence in the third quarter probably summed it up better than anything else.
This was the Bears first possession of the second half:
Chicago Bears at 14:54
1-10-CHI21 (14:54) R.Grossman pass to T.Jones to CHI 28 for 7 yards (J.Lee).
2-3-CHI28 (14:15) T.Jones up the middle to CHI 30 for 2 yards (J.Lee).
3-1-CHI30 (13:42) T.Jones right tackle to GB 16 for 54 yards (A.Harris).
1-10-GB16 (12:52) T.Jones up the middle to GB 5 for 11 yards (D.Sharper).
1-5-GB5 (12:17) T.Jones up the middle to GB 1 for 4 yards (D.Sharper, K.Gbaja-Biamila).
2-1-GB1 (11:34) T.Jones right tackle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.
P.Edinger extra point is GOOD, Center-P.Mannelly, Holder-B.Maynard.
CHI 21 GB 3, Plays: 6 Yards: 79 Possession: 3:29.
A screen pass and five straight runs that took the Bears 79 yards and put them up 21-3. If ever a drive said, “Here we come, try and stop us, it was this one.” The lone big gainer came on third and one, when the Bears blew the Packers so completely off the line that only the rested legs of Al Harris kept it from being a 70 yard TD run for Jones.
The Packers had won 19 of the last 22 games between these two teams. They’d won seven in a row. They had no reason to believe that it would be any different on this day. But it was.
There have been times when the Bears have almost won, or even pulled it off when you knew they got lucky just to keep it close. Yesterday, the Packers were the ones who got lucky to keep it close.
What was different about yesterday? What made the Bears Farvuhruh-proof? It helps that Farvuhruh is in the “wow-how-many-bad-throws-can-I-still-get-away-with” mode of his career. But it also helps that the Bears’ defense had a clue how to stop him. In the past, the Bears either foolishly blitzed him all the time (Wannstedt) or were afraid to ever do it (Jauron). Lovie Smith knows how to rattle the hillbilly. In six of his last seven matchups (with St. Louis and Tampa) Smith’s defenses beat Brett by making him guess where the blitz was coming from, if at all. It’s easier said than done, because despite his powerful prescription pain pill addiction, Farvuhruh’s no dummy when it comes to attacking a defense. You have to accept that he will make some big plays. You can’t let a string of completions force you to change your game plan (is Greg Blache paying attention?) Because eventually he’ll give you chances to make plays. The Bears made them when given those chances.
On offense, it was simple. With 900 pound Grady Jackson sidelined with a gravy infection in his leg, the middle of the Packers’ defense was soft. The Bears just kept running at it. They ran Thomas Jones at it and when it was time for Thomas’ end of the third quarter nap, Anthony Thomas ran at it. They called very few straight passes, and used play-action almost exclusively. The way they were running the ball, the Packers had to react to the run fakes. It was a perfect example of an offense completely confusing a defense.
Just take a look at Mike Sherman on the sidelines sometime.
Doesn’t he look like he’s waiting for a bus? Does this man look like a master tactition to you? He looks at his play sheet during games sometimes and he gives a look like he’s trying to figure out the Jumble. You half expect he’s saying things into his headset like, “Hey Brett, does carrot start with a c or a k?”
This is a man who got outcoached by Andy Reid last year. Andy Reid! That’s like losing a spelling bee to Dexter Manley.
The Bears are 1-1 and are one freak play away from being 2-0. But that’s today’s NFL. It’s what makes the Patriots’ 17 game winning streak so ridiculous.
In truth, we don’t really know that much more about the Bears now than we did two days ago. Except for the fact that we like them all just a little bit more than we did back then.
—-
On Sunday, Mariotti put down the doughnut to write a column that explained how the Packers were the class of the NFL and how laughable it was that the Bears could even think they could win. This, my friends, is why he’s paid the big bucks. Because he always has his finger on the pulse of what’s happening. I’m not saying he’s an idiot, but if you want to compare how wrong he normally is to another profession, if Mariotti were a proctologist, he’d have his hands in your mouth a lot.
—-
Sixteen days ago, some genius said that if the Cubs could go 20-10 in their last 30 games that they’d win the wild card. Some people agreed. Others said it couldn’t be done. The Cubs have 15 games left. How’d they do in those previous 15? Well, they were 10-5. Hmm.
Would a 10-5 finish be enough? Well it’d make the Cubs 92-70. The Giants would have to go 8-4 to tie, the Astros would have to go 9-3 to tie, the Padres would have to go 12-0 and the Marlins would have to win 14 of their last 13 (tough to do).
There’s a darkhorse in this race and Chip Caray talked about, in hilarious fashion, on Friday night. He explained that there’s a chance that the Dodgers could collapse and fall behind the Giants. This is true. The Dodgers are not playing well and have only a two and a half game lead over the Giants, with three to play in San Francisco this weekend. Chip said this:
“So you really should include the Dodgers in the wild card race and that would put the Cubs three games behind them.”
That’s just so wrong. Why not include the Braves then and say that they are four and a half ahead of the Cubs?
Does Chip not realize that it would take a succession of Dodgers and Cubs losses that would eliminate the Cubs anyway, to make this happen? Oh, well.
The Cubs lost a tough one on Saturday night. When they staked Greg Maddux to a 4-1 lead in the sixth only to see him give up five runs. That was followed by Dusty Baker pinch running for the trail runner and seeing the lead runner get nailed at the plate to end the eigth. Ouch.
I’m no Wendell Kim fan, but if Gruddy can’t beat a nineteen hop throw from Wily Mo Pena to home…
This also came up yesterday when Steve and Chip were discussing the arms of the three Reds’ outfielders. Chip is of the idea that former Texas quarterback Adam Dunn has a bad arm. It’s erratic, but not weak. He proved that when he hit the screen on the fly while trying to throw out the speedy Cal Murray (can you believe Calvin Murray is playing in a pennant race?) in the eighth yesterday. But Chip proved he’s Kim-like in saying that he’s surprised more runners don’t try and score because, “you are requiring the other team to make three perfect plays to get you out.”
The last I checked, this wasn’t a 10 year old little league game. Chances are, Major Leaguers can make a throw to a cutoff man and then another throw home and a tag pretty often. It’s why the Cubs lead the universe in having guys nailed at the plate in the past two seasons.
This is not unlike saying that you shouldn’t swing the bat because “you are requiring a pitcher to make three perfect pitches to get you out.” Excuse me while I jam my pen into my neck.
—
The Cubs are in Miami for that ill-fated doubleheader today. The erratic Franchise is on the mound for game one and “I’m a pitcher, get me out of here” Matt Clement is getting the call for game two. A lot will be said that today is the key day in the wild card race. If the Cubs win both games they are in first place. If they lose both they drop to third. So I expect to see a long thread of panicked posts if the latter should happen.
Here’s what you need to know. For good or bad, most doubleheaders are split. A split is acceptable today. But just like you won’t have all that much confidence even if the Cubs sweep, try and stay off the ledge if they get swept. I’m just saying, there’s a lot of baseball left these last two weeks. Try and keep it in perspective.
—
The last pathetic Packers offensive play, summed it all up.
For those of you who don’t like Mike Green, you are about to see an awful lot of him.
This is hilarious. The Packers think Urlacher gets all the calls.
The offense took it right at the Packers.
David Terrell didn’t do a damn thing. Except fumble.
Who didn’t know Thomas Jones was this good? OK, all of us.
Can Danny Graves pitch for every team?
The jockey looks at eight Cubs free agents.
Moises doesn’t think the Cubs can win these last 15 games. It would sure make our lives easier, though.
Mike Kiley makes a good point, for once. Lost amid the playoff chase, the Cubs finally ended what I think is the most embarrassing run in pro sports. Going 32 years between back-to-back winning seasons is just horrendous.
David Weathers is starting game two? THE David Weathers? Wow, just what are they putting in Jack McKeon’s pudding?
Wow, the Yankees reminded the Red Sox where things stand. Didn’t they?
Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback. Don’t expect too much on the Bears. And he doesn’t like “Joey”, even though I find it surprisingly funny.
For the first time that I can remember, I didn’t watch the Emmys. Anything dominated by Sex and the City deserves to be ignored.
Britney got married…again.
America’s finest news source with a guy who says he shouldn’t have to call shotgun.
Peter King is off the mark when he talks about "Joey" being the third-worst spinoff behind "The Michael Richards Show" and "Bob Patterson."
PK, those shows weren’t spinoffs, they were new shows that had people from "Seinfeld" in their cast. A spinoff is when a character from a previous show, gets sent to star in a new show.
A spinoff would have been if Cosmo Kramer moved to Seattle to reunite with his family and host a radio talk show.
Another example of a spinoff would be if George Costanza made a fortune as a dry cleaner and moved on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky.
If we lose a game started by David Weathers, well, yeah, it’s time to start throwing some furniture.
Who could forget when Norman Fell and I split from Jack, Chrissy and Janet to star in "The Ropers"?
"Hey Now Hank Kingsley" Jeffrey Tambor was our next door neighbor.
Norman and I are both dead now.
The Cubs has a horrible weekend. I can’t believe how bad they did. They f-ed up on two opportunities to improve their record in 1 run games. On Saturday, they just had to try and mount a late inning rally from 2 down. If they just would have stayed at 2 down, this wouldn’t have been such a glaring loss. But no, another 1 run loss. Even worse was yesterday. They had the nerve to move ahead to 5-1, when simply just scoring 2 runs would have given them a 2-1 lead and another 1 run win to make that embarrasing record just a little better. After play like that, I’m convinced the season’s over.
I think my favorite play of the game was Bryan Johnson giving Mike Hawthorne the George Cumby treatment on this touchdown catch.
CP- is King an idiot? Calling a Bob Patterson a spin off of Seinfeld is like calling Raiders of the Lost Ark the sequel to Star Wars because Harrison Ford was in both of them.
And Joey isn’t even the worst spin off show starring Matt LeBlanc. That honor goes to the "Top of the Heap" the short lived Married with Children spinoff.
We’re dumbasses. We can’t decide between the two of us who’s pitching. It’s some combination of Pavano, Weathers and Bump.
I’m pulling for Weathers and Bump, as ridiculous as that may be. Hey, the Bears beat Green Bay at Lambeau… anything can happen.
Isn’t Star Wars in the news lately? I seem to remember reading something about that or seeing something about the trilogy or something.
My mind is fuzzy after smelling cash all weekend…
The Miami papers are stating that BigHead Weathers will be starting the second game. Senile Jack’s response was somewhere along the lines of "someone’s gotta start".
I wonder if any of the Packer puds who called The Score all last week belittling the Bears and saying they had no chance to win Sunday are calling in today.
I’ll be glad when the doubleheader is over. I think a split keeps the Cubs on the path of the Wild Card, a Cubs sweep virtually eliminates the Marlins (hey, the Expos did it down there just five days ago), and a Marlins sweep would not only put them back in it, but the Astros would be looking like the favorite. I don’t see the Astros going any worse than 8-4 in their last 12, which means the Cubs would have to go 10-5 (which I think is their likely record in the final 15) to win the Wild Card. Two losses by the Cubs today would then mean a 10-3 streak. Not a lot of room for error there.
Why wasn’t a clip called on Urlacher during Brown’s fumble return for TD?
A clip wasn’t called because a special set of rules exist for Brian Urlacher.
Has Jake come down off of me yet?
Worst show: Small Wonder
(Absolutely brutally unfunny show with thuddingly stupid premise and results. I can’t believe I watched every episode. Twice.)
Worst spin-off: Joanie Loves Chachi
(Ill-fated, money-chasing, and totally foolish: Take two well-liked characters and have them get married and be losers — Brilliant!)
Worst potential spin-off that never was: Three Really IS Company
(Lana, Larry Dallas, and Mr. Furley move to San Francisco and start a detective agency with wacky results!)
Lineups for Game 1:
Cubs
Corey Patterson, CF
Neifi Perez, SS
Moises Alou, LF
Derrek Lee, 1B
Todd Walker, 2B
Ben Grieve, RF
Jose Macias, 3B
Paul Bako, C
Mark Prior, P
Marlins
Juan Pierre, CF
Luis Castillo, 2B
Paul Lo Duca, C
Miguel Cabrera, LF
Mike Lowell, 3B
Jeff Conine, 1B
Juan Encarnacion, RF
Alex Gonzalez, SS
Carl Pavano, P
Yes, Sammy, Aramis, and Barrett are all sitting, against Pavano instead of Weathers.
Riiiiiiight……
Well guys I don’t think we will be getting that sweep. Ramirez, Sosa, and Barrett are all resting in game one. I think we can still score off Pavano though. Do you guys think we can score?
Actually Brett, I believe that Urlacher originally had his on the inside of your shoulder, and when you realized he was going to level you, you turned your back to try and draw the penalty.
Any word on when I can play again? Can anybody on this team suck it up for a stretch run? Aramis should be playing both ends of this doublebill.
Wait, how come I’m not batting second?
I’m a dumbass.
Hey, I’m hitting .600 this week. Cut me some slack.
And Dusty hinted yesterday that E-ramis will play "a game and a half." Whatever that means.
I usually try not to let quirky Baker decisions and lineups get to me, and I try to ignore all the Baker bashing that is in fashion right now, but this game one lineup really gets me. Let Sosa rot on the bench for all I care (though I don’t think Greive is the answer) but sitting the team’s only .300 hitters (3.1 AB per game) is insane. It really would be nice to sweep this one. Yes, if they split or even drop both, the season’s not over and there’s still a mathmatical shot, but sweeping puts the Cubs tied for the lead with no challenging opponents until October. Why Dusty? Why?
Ben, that means that E-Ramis will be inserted into the game in the 5th or 6th inning, depending on the score. Now shut up, we’re not paying you to think. I consulted Sparky Anderson and the ghost of Connie Mack, and this is the lineup they told be to play. Of course, they also recommened that I start Walter Johnson in both games, but we don’t have the manpower to prop up the rotting corpses of both Walter and Tom Goodwin.
half game lead. Suck it up and play Aramis.
Maybe you missed it, Andy, but here is some more evidence suggesting that I am a complete jerk-off.
Wait, the bad lineup won?
GO CUBS!
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