What’s the trite old saying? Speed never slumps? Well, neither, I wouldn’t imagine would hustling. The Cubs, who have played well of late, winning nine of their last 11 games and now making it look more and more like they’ll grab the Wild Card and let the Giants and Dodgers battle for the final playoff spot–but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re playing hard all the time.

Sometimes you don’t notice. Like last week in his two homer game against the Pirates, when Corey Patterson didn’t even run a flyball to left that first looked like it’d be an out, then a double, then the wind picked up and put it in the basket…and saved his ass. Corey was a victim again on Sunday when with two outs he struck out on a pitch in the dirt with a runner at third and didn’t bother to run to first when Jason LaRue dropped the third strike and had it roll away. LaRue probably would have still thrown him out, but you never know. A bad throw there and the run scores. Hey, it’s not like teams don’t screw that up from time to time. Though they never will if you don’t make them attempt it.

Corey’s not alone. Even before he hurt his groin, E-ramis enjoyed Cadillac-ing on every flyball. Moises Alou looks like he needs a cattle prod to get him to run on anything that doesn’t immediately smell like a base hit. And last night, Sammy joined in on the fun by doing his home run hop on a ball that didn’t leave the yard and then getting nailed trying to get to second. It’s not that hop that killed it, it was the next three steps which were not taken with any kind of urgency.

And no, I’m not just singling out the brothers here. Glendon Rusch covers first base like it’s covered with nuclear waste. Matt Clement takes 19 minutes to get from the mound to the dugout. Carlos Zambrano is the only Cubs pitcher who actually runs out every bunt.

It’s also not just the Cubs. You see other teams do it all the time. Nobody poses at home plate like the Cardinals and their record hasn’t suffered for it. Matt Morris acts like running to first base is uphill both ways. Albie Pujols doesn’t even break a sweat. Even with their scrappy manager the White Sox play like they’re all on valium.

Here’s the thing. If you’re the Cubs, why not just go balls out the last two weeks and see what happens? It’s not going to hurt you. For a team of guys who love their own stats, wouldn’t you think three or four hard runs to first a night, which might from time to time result in a cheap hit and a couple points on their batting average, might seem like a good idea?

You can’t fault Corey’s effort last night on Bobby Hill’s triple…just his judgement. With nobody out in the seventh and a two run lead, you probably just want to play that safe and keep the double play in order.

And yes, you can pile on LaTroy for blowing the save because he did it (even though I personally thought he struck out Rob Mackowiak twice before he got to ball four), but you have to give him credit for holding the Pirates to the one run. Closers tend to implode once the lead is gone, but he threw some nasty stuff to Jason Bay and whoever Tony Alvarez is, and gave the Cubs a chance to win it in the tenth, which they did.

Nice job of Dave Otto filling in for Ron Santo last night. He even got the grunt down perfectly on Solomon Torres’ game winning wild pitch.

And what can I say about Ryan Dempster except…who knew? When Dusty brought him in to pitch the bottom of the tenth, I began to weep. I slammed my head down on the coffee table repeatedly, and Dempster proceeded to get the Pirates 1-2-3.

As Chip Caray will remind us, Dempster has made a nearly miraculous recovery from “Tommy John Disease.” He’s an inspiration to us all.

If you need to know why the Astros won’t still be in the playoff hunt a week from today, just look at who they used on the mound in yesterday’s 9-2 loss. Carlos Hernandez, Brandon Duckworth, Tim Redding, Humpy Wheeler and Jerry Springer. OK, it was Dan Wheeler and Russ Springer, but really, what’s the frickin’ difference?

As for the Giants, I still don’t know how they’re doing it, but with the Dodgers in complete free fall, it looks like both of those teams will fall below the Cubs and end up duking it out for the NL West. The winner gets the Cardinals in round one.

Speaking of the Cardinals, they aren’t exactly roaring into the postseason. There’s a chance Chris Carpenter is done for the year. Scott Rolen’s calf doesn’t seem to be getting any better (poor baby cow). The Genius couldn’t figure out how the magic number works.

So really, the Cubs aren’t just playing to salvage the season with a token playoff appearance. Chances are when they get in, they’ll be the best team in the the National League tournament.

I know that would make me hustle.

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Phil Rogers thinks Corey’s legs are fine. That sounds pretty gay, doesn’t it?

The Cubs did a lot of stuff last night, but quit was not one of them.

Drink some warm tea. Whisper all day. Because tonight you get to start yelling Nom-ahhhhhhhh! again.

For those of you who might be tempted to think the Cubs should just keep playing Neifi, here’s my take on it. Neifi Perez has proven over a long career that he’s not very good. I’d say getting 10 good days out of him in a row is pushing it a little. Besides he’ll still be around for late inning defense and in case Nomar blows out another body part. Also remember that this Nomar guy, he can play a little bit. And his return will return the Cubs lineup to it’s all-time best with Derrek Lee back in the two hole. I would presume that, anyway.

Da Coach got screwed by the McCaskeys? Hey, it’s not like that’s a new thing for him.

Magglio might not be around for the start of the 2005 season. Well, that ought to help his free agent value. Also, the bone’s not getting enough blood? Isn’t that what cost Bo Jackson his hip? It certainly is what ended Albert Belle’s career. Not good news. Oh, and don’t believe for a minute Kenny Williams’ assertation that he wishes he’d signed Maggs to a long term contract. That’s BS. He’s glad he didn’t, because one-legged outfielders aren’t worth $14 million. In fact, those kinds of deals get GM’s fired.

Peanut doesn’t need surgery, but he won’t be around for a while. You know how people say “I’d be happy with 2-14 as long as we beat the Packers twice.” You might get that wish this year.

There’s a lot to like about Rex Grossman. His hair is not one of them, though. Wow. Potsi Weber had a better ‘do than Rex.

Washington comes to South Bend 0-2, but they might not be that bad. No, wait. They are. Losing to Fresno State isn’t embarassing, but giving up 37 to UCLA is.

Maybe Sammy needed Crash Davis at home plate yelling, “Run, dummy!”?

More on Nomar.

Matt Clement finally figured out how to lose his job and spend the rest of the year sitting in the dugout watching games stress free. He just broke out the Shawn Estes impersonation for the last six weeks. Unfortunately, he forgot about Shawn’s final week shut out the Reds’ last year.

The Wizard of Roz says that the White Sox want to be like the Twins next year. They might want to learn how to be better than the Twins, Indians and Tigers…three teams who figure to start lapping them, starting next season.

Mike Lowell admits he might be in his last two weeks as a Marlin.

It looks like the Expos’ hostage crisis might finally be coming to an end with the team finally ending up in DC.

Ron Artest is still nuts. Gee, what a shock.

TJ Simers will follow the Dodgers as they choke their way out of the playoffs the next two weeks. Hey, if they’re efficient they can blow the whole thing by Tuesday.

Britney may have faked her wedding. Talk about a talentless performer. She doesn’t even know which part of the wedding night to fake.

Kim Cattrall has no fans. I’m sure her VD keeps her warm at night, though.

America’s finest news source with some of the juicy details in Kitty Kelley’s book on the Bushes.