You have to give the Cubs some credit. When they go down in flames, they do it in unmistakable style. What’s going to be our fond memory of the 2004 season? Will it be Victor Diaz’s homer in New York? How about LaTroy Hawkins throwing four straight fastballs right down the heart of the plate yesterday? D’Angelo Jiminez hit the first one for a triple, and Austin Kearns smacked the last one off the ivy.

I know that the Giants choked to even more epic proportion last night and the Astros are a franchise full of Heimlich memories, but sometimes you just know when it’s over don’t you?

It was like it in the eighth inning of game six last year. Kelly Dwyer posted with indignation that Cubs fans were giving up too early. But you knew it was over. There are certain hardships that you know can be overcome. This isn’t one of them. It’s not slipping away as much as we’re looking down into the water hoping for an air bubble or two.

You can be mad at whoever you want. You can blame LaTroy until his dying day, or Sammy or Corey or Dusty or whoever the next goat will be. Because by law there has to be one more. If the Cubs win their last four games the worst they can do is a playoff. So somebody else has to blow it.

On Tuesday the Cubs divvied up imaginary playoff shares. Today they will meet to draw straws before they hand out the goat horns.

But even now, the Cubs could still surprise us. The four remaining games are all eminently winable. The Braves are not even as good as the team the Cubs beat in the first round last year. Atlanta will certainly be playing with interest because they don’t want to face the Cubs in the playoffs and they would like a crack at home field advantage to avoid St. Louis in the first round.

Because it is true that they’ve gotten some bad breaks in three of the last four losses. Victor Diaz didn’t think he hit the homer, he thought he’d flied out to left to end the game. Moises’ year long piss and moan campaign against the umps caught up to him on a low and inside pitch on a full count with the bases loaded on Sunday. Sean Casey fell into the camera well on a pop up that he never catches–but caught–and Kearns closed his eyes and jumped at Sammy’s flyout with the bases loaded yesterday. So who knows? Maybe it’ll all even out in the next four days?

I’m hoping it’ll happen. I’ll be watching and sweating like Joe Borowski. I’m just not counting on it.

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Other good news. My friends at work told me yesterday that I look just like Chad Hutchinson.

I’m assuming that they don’t mean I make this face all the time. Or, maybe I do. The Cubs will do that to you.

So, instead of signing bogus autographs at the Cubs Convention this year, maybe I’ll use my handsomeness (or something) to hang out on the sidelines at Bears games. You’ll know I successfully impersonated Chad if later in the season he gets put into the game and poops all over the field.

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Wasn’t that a kick in the nuts?

Julian Martinez finally got the axe. We’ll miss him so.

Is the Farns the new closer? Let’s hope we need one.

Matt Clement shaved. Big whup. It’s not like we’ll ever see him again.

Phil blames it all on Regular Joe.

Mike Downey doesn’t get it. Acutally maybe he does, but his headline writer doesn’t.

Jonathan Quinn, superstar.

If Craig Krenzel plays this year, I’m moving to Canada.

What the f@#$ is this?

Mariotti puts down the doughnut for another thoughtful missive.

In the event of a three-way tie for the wild card, the Cubs will host both games (if they win the first, of course). In a two-way tie, the Cubs are on the road in either case.

Phil Garner must have a horseshoe up his ass.

The Expos are off to play at RFK next year. Let’s hope the fans don’t scare them. They’re used to playing in silence.

The Wizard of Roz still thinks the Cubs are going to win it.

Sports Guy seems to think the Sox can actually beat the Yankees when it counts. He’s alone.

Jayson Stark with everything you wanted to know about the Expos move.

An Indians pitcher got shot on the team bus. Maybe the Indians are just practicing for their first road trip to DC?

Spanish-yes.com’s Kelly Dwyer on the Lakers. LA’s other team.

America’s finest news source on why Alvin has to wear that A on his sweater. Why is a chipmunk wearing a sweater in the first place?