We’ve seen things like this before. The Cardinals blew a 3-1 NLCS lead in 1996. The Cubs blew one last year. But what has made the Yankees sudden collapse this year all the more shocking isn’t that it’s the Yankees that are doing the collapsing, but it’s the way they won game three. They won it 19-8. The Red Sox were done as dinner. They were in the fetal position and they were just hoping the kicking would stop.
But last night the Red Sox got an omen. Gregory Peck never got one this big. Mark Bellhorn stopped trying to pull everything, for one pitch, at least and the ex-Cubs factor stalemate of Jon Lieber on the mound and Bellhorn at the plate finally swung Boston’s way. He banked one off a Bartman wannabe in the left field bleachers and it was 4-0 Red Sox and suddenly, the Yankees are in position to take the ’03 Cubs and ’96 Cards off the hook. This isn’t just choking, this is dying on your own vomit.
The only time after Bellhorn’s inexplicable blast that you thought the Red Sox might cough it up was when Alex Rodriguez pulled his punk Robert Fick move and tried to chop Bronson Arroyo’s hand off to dislodge the ball. While the baseball rolled down the right field line, both Arroyo and Doug Eyechart stood and argued. Derek Jeter scored all the way from first, A-Rod ended up at second and it was 4-3 Red Sox with only one out.
Cooler heads prevailed after yet another umpire huddle (they had to get together on Bellhorn’s homer, too) and not only was A-Rod called out for interference but Jeter had to go all the way back to first. Threat over. Game over.
Oh, sure the Yankees brought Tony Clark up with two outs in the ninth as the winning run, but did anybody think that his decaying corpse was going to hit a ball fair?
The best part about the ninth inning was that after Hideki Matsui drew a walk, Tim McCarver said that it “was as good as a home run.” I’m sure his reasoning was that regardless of whether Matsui homered or walked Bernie Williams was now the tying run. But the difference, Tim, is that with Matsui on first a double play erases him. On a homer…not so much.
I was disappointed that Al Leiter didn’t make fun of Trenidad Hubbard last night, ending the streak at one game.
The postgame shows were great. On NESN, Jerry Remy basically said, “The Yankees got screwed, because there’s no specific mention in the rule book that you can’t intentionally knock the ball out of an opponent’s glove when he’s trying to tag you. But who cares?” He also downlplayed Curt Schilling’s stitch procedure, likening it to “getting a face lift.” I’ve gotten the feeling all year that Remy, like us, thinks Schilling is a good pitcher and an overbearing assbag.
On the YES network, Michael Kay looked like somebody hit him in the face repeatedly with a wet towel. As soon as I turned it on I instinctively went to get my shoes to try and help Michael go find the dog he apparently lost. Oh, suck it up, blowdryer boy. Life will go on.
Suzan Waldman’s yelling, lisping act was in full force and she kept saying that last night’s Yankees effort was “one we’ve seen 100 times this year, they just don’t hit good pitching.” Suzan, get a grip. The Yankees were 101-61, I don’t think you saw that “100 times.” The panic in the Bronx was palpable. And very entertaining.
However, while the Red Sox players might be confident, you just know that their fans are convinced these last three games have just been a set up to some kind of hellacious loss tonight. Losing 4-0 wouldn’t have been painful enough. I guess we’ll find out.
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Join us at 3 p.m. as the Astros and Cardinals will meet in game six of the NLCS. Houston has already forfeited, deciding that a rested Pete Munro is a better option against homer happy Matt Morris than Roger Clemens on three day’s rest. On the surface, having the ability to go Clemens-Oswalt-Lidge against Jeff Suppan in game seven is attractive. But as much as we hate them, the Cardinals are good. You need to give yourself two legitimate shots to get your fourth win. I know that stats on starters on short rest in the playoffs are bad (something like 8-17), but this whole thing just smells like good news for the Cardinals. And I hate that smell.
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Peter Gammons said on SportsCenter last night that tonight’s Red Sox-Yankees game is, “the most anticipated game in the history of baseball.” Nice perspective there, Pete.
Speaking of uncomfortable TV moments, did anybody catch Gail Fischer’s piece on Comcast last night where she went to Jonathan Quinn’s apartment and interviewed him and his wife? First off, Quinn kind of sounds like Billy Bob Thornton in “Sling Blade” when he talks, which is creepy enough. Then, she asked if it bothered him when he walks off the field and fans yell at him and boo him. Then, she interviewed Quinn’s wife who said, “When I first saw him, I lost all my faculties.”
Now that’s romance. “Kids, the first time I saw your dad, I went blind and deaf and crapped my pants. I knew he was the guy for me.”
By the way, it’s time for NFL geniuses like Tim Green and…dare I say it…Brian Baldinger to stop calling Quinn a “kid.” This “kid” is 29 years old, has been married for TEN years and has four kids of his own.
He’s also the worst in a long line of terrible Bears’ quarterbacks. So, he’s got that.
—–
Ed Sherman says that Steve Stone is coming back, but he’s going to make the Cubs stew a little while. Nothing wrong with that.
Phil Rogers says Carlos Beltran will sign with the Yankees and not the Cubs, but doesn’t give any reason why. Nice column. This all goes back to that “the Cubs never sign the big free agent” crap we hear all the time. It was the same stuff we heard at the trade deadline when nobody thought they’d get Nomar because “the Cubs never trade for a big name player.”
Andres Nocioni has some Milt Palacio-type potential, doesn’t he? Oh, and I already have a man crush on Luol Deng. These Bulls, they might not be as shitty as last year. Now that’s a marketing slogan for you.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to fellate Curt Schilling. Hey Jay, I think there’s something on your chin. It could be doughnut glaze. Could be.
Baseball has an 11 year agreement with XM Radio. Considering that either XM or Sirius will eventually win the satellite radio war, this could also be a one year deal.
The Wizard of Roz on Stone and the Cubs’ play-by-play search. He says there have only been two candidates legitimately considered, but there have been at least three. And I have the e-mail address of the third, and no, it’s not Karry Ling. Though, it should be.
Sports Guy is basking in the glow of the “Schilling Game” and I was going to mock it, but thought better of it. Can you imagine my fawning column if it was Carlos Zambrano? Hell, if Carlos pitched that game with a painful papercut, on his glove hand, I’d have written that column. So I’ll just be quiet now.
Mike Hargrove is going to manage the Mariners. They chose him over Grady Little. What, Bruce Kimm wasn’t available? You’ll love this. On the YES pregame last night Joe Girardi gave a Jim Essian shout out. I nearly fell off the couch. He talked about Essian’s theory about pitching inside. He said, that Essian’s theory was that, “If you buzz a guy inside he won’t lean out over the plate for a week.” Jim Essian? Is this what it’s come to?
America’s finest news source with a recently married man who is ready to start dating again.
It’s about time somebody recognized my geniusness.
When was the last time there was a choke this big?
C’mon Dolan, have some faith in me, man.
Buy my new martial arts book "Way of the Limp Wrist" on sale now at AROD.com
Cardinal fans give Larry Walker a curtain call after hitting into double play.
http://www.sportspickle.com/features/2004-1020-walker.html
My favorite line from the A-Rod press conference has to be when he’s talking about "the play" and he says "what am I, just supposed to let me TOUCH me?"
You really need to hear the sound of A-Rod’s voice as he expresses revulsion at the thought of being tagged out by Bronson Arroyo. It’s hilarious.
Sorry, that should be "let him TOUCH me?"
Wait a minute, Andy has Jim Tocco’s e-mail address. No, it couldn’t be.
What, me worry?
Andy, I agree with you on the Clemens/Munro decision.
However, with Morris pitching, I think Garner is gambling on the game being a shootout. With Beltran and some of the other Astros hitting the way they are hitting at the moment, that might be a good gamble.
However, I think Munro can come through for them and give 6 solid innings. After a slip and slide 7th for Houston’s bullpen, Lidge comes in to finish the last two innings and win the series. Or, at least, that’s what I’m hoping happens.
Hey Dolan, if you buy me a pizza, I’ll take Rolen out of the playoffs again. If you throw in breadsticks, I’ll include Mr. Pujols in the deal.
If I were Phil Garner and I had this decision to make here’s what I would have done.
1) I would have shaved that stupid mustache off.
Then, 2) I would have tried to talk Nolan Ryan out of retirement. You don’t think the Ryan Express could have given them five innings with six K’s, three walks, two hit batsmen and one run?
My favorite moment in the post-game pressers last night was Joe Torre trying to joke about his game seven starter and saying, "We’re gonna make some phonecalls," then ten minutes later having Suzan Waldman explain that Joe would be calling the players on their cellphones to tell them who was going to start.
Is she really that dumb? You can almost imagine El Duque in some underground Little Havana strip joint getting a lapdance and saying, "Excuso, uno momento por favor!" And stiff arming the stripper while he finds out he’s starting game seven from Joe Torre.
Am I the only one who thinks of this stuff? Is that why when I watch TV I laugh and my friends look at me because I’m making my own mental jokes about stuff they don’t find any humor in?
By the way, today’s GameCast is already projected to be the meanest in history. I can’t wait.
Is this the time I’m supposed to say something shockingly prescient?
Because I don’t have anything…
I did some research on SuZan Waldman of the YES Network. It’s pretty entertaining:
http://www.yesnetwork.com/announcers/bio.asp?talent_id=15
Wow. She’s a looker, too.
thanks Dave, just lost my tacobell
did anyone else notice that the umpire on "the play" last night called Rodriguez safe with out him touching the bag? Leiter tried to comment about it, leading the genius Mccarver to say well he came back and touched the bag, huh, who was the ump Miss Cleo?? NO! he still called him safe before he touched the bag!!
sorry, rant over I feel better!
From my bio: "She was a mainstay on the New York night club circuit in it’s heyday in the l970’s, and now lives in Westchester with her German Shephards, Kiley and A.J."
Lives with my German shepherds of course means "lesbian!"
Evidentally, Garner realizes how bad Morgan Ensberg is, and I’m getting the start today.
WTF is the deal with people who like to come up with creative spellings for their first names (ie. "Suzyn")? Maybe I should go with "Dayve", or "Deyv" or even the more formal "Deyvud". Assclowns.
Hi, according to the NY Daily News, I’m Campbell Brown’s new boyfriend.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/244097p-209178c.html
She enjoys putting out her 27 cigarettes a day on my forehead.
![]("http://www.whitehouse.gov/ask/images/senor-100.jpg"/)
http://www.whitehouse.gov/government/senor-bio.html
I like how they describe Campbell Brown as "sultry".
Senor looks like the kind of guy who you’d probably want to bash his skull in if you worked with him.
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