The winds of autumn, have (gulp). I knew I couldn’t get through that without throwing up in my mouth. Anyway, I never thought I’d ever utter, type or even dream the following words in succession, but ‘B.C. is right.’
Wake Forest is going to win it all this season.
Thankfully, for me and you, that’s pretty much where our common ground ends. Unlike the majority of Desipio Nation, I’ve finally come to peace with B.C.’s writing style and have adjusted. When I see he has a new post, I immediately scroll down to the comments, and after the burning sensation of Mountain Dew shooting out my nose has lessened (usually thanks to CT, JH or Mike D.), I attempt to read on through tears and side cramps. To quickly compose myself, I scroll back to the top and attempt to digest the contents of B.C.’s original prose. More often than not I am unable to do so until the author has had an opportunity to respond to multiple criticisms and queries to explain himself further.
I’ve finally come to understand that B.C.’s just a different kind of cat. A cat that doesn’t always make sense and buries his own poo. For example, 12 teams made B.C.’s preseason rankings. Not a top 20 or 25, or even a Sweet 16, or comprehensive 32 designed to include probable first round winners. Nope, just 12 for no apparent rhyme or reason. Similarly, as many of you have noted, each of his Final Four predictions also made his list of ‘Most likely to underachieve.’ Don’t try to make any more sense of this, than why he’s so intrigued by balls of yarn — it’s just his way. It’s simply an idiosyncrasy not unlike me finding excuses to post PG-13 photos. Miss Tweeden clearly agrees…
But, I just couldn’t bear it if you, the loyal Desipio reader, were expected to enter the 2004-5 college basketball season without a broader, more realistic preview. And of course, a few gratuitous pictures. Quite obviously we’ll be dedicating this season to the memory of Russell Jones (a.k.a. Ol’ Dirty Bastard, a.k.a. Dirt McGirt), please join us in a moment of silence as we reflect on Dirty’s eternal spirit and wisdom…
We’ll Miss You Big Baby Jesus! Wu-Tang Forever!!!…
Top 32
*32. Mizzou – The Tigers inexplicably avoid probation, and look forward to a likely one-and-done NCAA tournament without last year’s underachieving senior class of Travon Bryant, Rickey Paulding and Arthur Johnson. This allows sophomore/bruiser/Lithuanian Linas Kleiza to set the tone for this season, with perimeter support from Jimmy McKinney and Thomas Gardner. There are no lofty, unrealistic expectations, and Quin Snyder finally has a legitimate point guard in freshman Jason Horton. Good thing the NCAA didn’t find out about that Hummer he got from the administrative assistant. Just kidding, you can actually pencil in Florida State here.
31. Depaul – Bah, blah, blah, Diener…
30. Marquette – Blah, blah, blah other Diener…
29. Oklahoma – Blah, blah, blah Bookout.
28. Boston College – Blah, blah, blah Smith.
27. Memphis – Coach Cal’s Tigers are freakin’ deep. For some reason freshman Darius Washington has flown a bit under the radar this off-season, I predict not for much longer. You’ll be seeing he and Sean Banks on plenty of SportsCenter’s this year.
26. Cincinnati – You don’t need me to tell you that Huggins replaced a few of last year’s thugs with new thugs, right? You also don’t need me to tell you that Jason Maxiell is just as likely to rebound the rock as he is to sell you the rock. Wait, what?
25. Michigan – Tommy Amaker doesn’t need to be clearing shelf space for any Coach of the Year honors just yet, but maybe his team is ready to parlay last year’s NIT Championship in to something a bit more meaningful.
24. Gonzaga – I don’t think a lot of people realize just how loaded last year’s Zags were. Sure Blake Stepp and Cory Violette finally completed their 7 years of college eligibility, but Ronny Turiaf comes back with plenty to prove. Hey, did you know Adam Morrison is diabetic? No really, see he’s got this needle and…
23. Pittsburgh – No Julius Page, no problem I believe the Panthers will find. Chevy Trautman, Carl Krauser and Chris Taft are plenty to contend in the Big East and cruise to a 3rd place conference finish.
22. Washington – We’ll see pretty quickly if last year’s Huskies were a fluke, and if Nate ‘the Skate’ Robinson’s legacy will simply be that of the answer to an obscure trivia question, like say Harold ‘the Show’ Arcineaux.
21. Florida – Billy Donovan is still cashing checks, and his teams are still soft. They have the athletes and shooters to run a lot of teams out of the gym, but it takes a little more intestinal fortitude come tourney time. When I think Gator basketball I think white dudes with too much hair, not fortitude and certainly not Final Four.
20. Alabama – Kennedy Winston could easily take SEC player of the year honors, and every year under Gottfried the Tide has improved. If someone fills Antoine Pettway’s shoes/role, I won’t be surprised to see them knock another #1 seed out.
19. Mississippi State – Lawrence Roberts is likely to find out at the end of this season what he did at the end of the last, he’s a nice college big man, but not quite big enough to go Boozer/Brand at the next level.
18. Wisconsin – After cowardly redshirting last season, Brian Butch should have a quicker freshman season learning curve than most. B.C. loves Mike Wilkinson apparently, and then there’s that thing about Ryan and rats on the 41. Ummmm, yeah, what he said.
17. Texas – The Daniel Gibson hype has begun. Better than T.J. Ford? Really??? Hmmmm… Aldridge is the one that will emerge as The Man.
16. Kentucky – Tubby attempts to reload on the run with only Chuck Hayes and Kelenna Azubuike (gesundheit!) to provide upperclassmen leadership. Rajon Rondo is the name to watch in the backcourt, and Randolph Morris up front.
15. Notre Dame – I’m not buying the Dennis Lattimore hype, but the Irish can shoot the three as well as any team, which opens a lot of things up.
14. N.C. State – All Julius Hodge has ever needed is a little help (and humility). A nearly healthy Evtimov may be enough and there’s a lot of buzz surrounding Georgetown transfer Tony Bethel. This is the one ACC team many are hoping to see on their side of the bracket come Selection Sunday.
13. Illinois – Sorry, but I just don’t see a top 5 or top 10 team here, not to say they don’t have the backcourt to win 4 or 5 games in a row come tourney time. They are too undersized up front, and I won’t be surprised if Dee’s injury has affected his explosiveness.
12. Michigan State – The Spartans return pretty much everyone, including Paul Davis and his garter belt — and finally add a point guard in freshman Drew Neitzel.
11. Duke – Duke has no more or less depth than they did on their way to a 2001 National Championship with Casey Sanders at center. Much will be expected of Shavlik Randolph and Shelden Williams up front, and if either is in foul trouble, the 3’s will need to be falling, namely out of the hands of Daniel Ewing and J.J. Redick. If only Shaun Livingston and Luol Deng weren’t such greedy, opportunistic bastards… By the way, did you guys hear that Chris Duhon played the end of last season with bruised ribs? What a warrior!
10. Louisville – Two words. Francisco. Garcia.
9. North Carolina – There is one reason, and one reason alone why I am not concerned that this will be the year that Roy finally gets it done. Rashad McCants is quite possibly the biggest malcontent, and locker room cancer to ever don a collegiate uniform (teammate Raymond Felton isn’t far behind). The guy has lottery pick talent, but couldn’t even keep it together long enough to survive the USA junior team final cuts this summer. Unfortunately, for Prison (i.e. Chapel Hill) fans anyway, they’re stuck with him for at lest another season.
8. Arizona – Speaking of malcontents, Salim Stoudamire will try to stay on Lute Olson’s good side for an entire season — a feat that will be much easier for Hassan Adams. More often than not the Wildcats underachieve, but the Pac 10 and a #1 seed in the West is simply theirs for the taking.
7. Maryland – The Terapins may miss the inside presence of Jamar Smith a bit more than most might think — but they’ve got the depth and toughness to challenge every single night in the ACC. Though clearly not quite the versatility of Gary Williams’ dry cleaner.
6. Connecticut – Former Yellow Jacket Ed Nelson should immediately help to fill the interior void left by Emeka Okafor. Ben Gordon’s consistency may be tougher to replace, though big things are expected from freshman Rudy Gay, as well as a more significant role from Charlie Villanueva. Now if Calhoun can just keep everyone away from $40 hookers.
5. Georgia Tech – The early going might be bumpy without the steady presence of Marvin Lewis and Clarence Moore, and I also won’t be surprised if Luke Schenscher’s deal with the devil expired in the off-season. But Jarrett Jack, Will Bynum and Isma’il Muhammad still create a lot of problems on the perimeter and I’m guessing Paul Hewitt can still coach.
4. Syracuse – With or without Billy Edelin, somewhere out there you just know John M. has his Nuggets jersey on and is smiling. Sure, he may also be nude from the waist down and curled up in a fetal position, but that doesn’t make him a bad guy or any less happy.
3. Kansas – Wayne Simien will contend for player of the year honors if he can keep his shoulders healthy, and Bill Self should have plenty of y-y-y-oung options to fill the shoes of Graves and Padgett. As much as it pains me to say it, this Jayhawk squad knows how to win, and they do it often. So long as they lose the last game of their season to Duke or one of the two teams listed below, I’ll be a happy man and promise not to rub it in to my boys Chris Mac and D-Brown.
2. Oklahoma State – But, I still like the Cowboys to win the Big 12. They replace Tony Allen, with possible headcase JamesOn Curry (I mean when Carolina passes on you…), and will continue to celebrate every John Lucas, Jr. big shot, with a televised close up of John Lucas, Sr.
1. Wake Forest – The Demon Deacons lost no one from last season. Phenom Chris Paul gets all the publicity, but Justin Gray, Taron Downey, Jamaal Levy, Vytas Danelius and Eric Williams aren’t too shabby either.
JP First-Team All-American: Chris Paul (Wake), Wayne Simien (K.U.), Francisco Garcia (Louisville), Hakim Warrick (Syracuse), Julius Hodge (N.C. State).
I’m not gonna bother with the Krzyzewski of the Year, I mean Coach of the Year category, as it’s seemingly randomly selected, but here’s some other random nominees/predictions:
Player most likely to ‘pull a Tonya’ (i.e. put hot rocks in their mouth if they think it will improve their team’s chances of winning – Gerry McNamara (Syracuse)
Player most likely to ‘pull a Britney’ (i.e. blow off career and fans to start a family) – Malik Hairston (Oregon)
Hottest cheerleaders – Oklahoma State
Number of ACC bids for the NCAA tourney – 7
Number of total games suspended for Tar Heel roster – 7
Number of times Dickie V. says “Everybody Loves Raymond” per Carolina broadcast – 7
Most likely darkhorses – Providence, Oregon, Indiana
Biggest sophomore impact/explosion – J.R. Giddens (Kansas)
Best/only reason to catch an American East conference game – Taylor Coppenrath (Vermont)
Best name – Tank Beavers (Memphis)
Don’t worry, I pledge to continue my pursuit of covering Beavers this season like nobody’s business (Denise Richards in this month’s PB if you haven’t heard, just 4 months removed from pregnancy)….and, It’s Good!!!
Memo to Jake. The cleaning staff wants me to remind you that if you crap in the cat box again, please bury it.
At least BC does.
You are a strange, pathetic little man. If Dee is hurt, I’ll step in and Deron will take the point.
Besides, who’s more likely to get hurt this year, Dee Brown or Wayne "Oh my shoulder, I think it’s separated" Simien?
I thought so.
Easy there Luthor, just work on trying to stay out of jail, then you can worry about who you’ll replace in the lineup.
Hey CT, you got an XBox?
Jake is right. Click below and hit the various sites:
http://www.osuspirit.com/main/index.html
Those girls look 18 or older…no thanks
I am, Fine indeed!
Nice John M, reference. We’re the only two who get it, though.
Does anyone here care about the Cubs anymore??????
I’m moving to Oklahoma(State).
Andy talked about it this morning. What more can you say about the Cubs? What’s the earth-shaking Cubs news that we’re supposed to be talking about? Sammy might be traded–covered it ten times. Hey, maybe more gabbering about the broadcasters?
WHo is John M. and what is he doing half nekkid in upstate New York?
Chuck: You obviously haven’t spent enough time in the Desipio Vault…. and you thought B.C. and I couldn’t get along.
jg: Oklahoma also has Whattaburgers going for them… Mmmmm, Whattaburger!
Luther: What more do you want from me? I didn’t say that the Illini backcourt was a problem or that I thought Dee would go down again. I only said he may not come back as the player that B.C. dreams of (and that the frontcourt was the quite obvious weakness). In the entire preview I only mentioned one player as being a specific injury risk —- and it WAS Wayne Simien…. Most importantly, Luther remember that for you it is better to receive than give. You know what I mean.
#5, 6, 7 (Miss Fine): Everyone knows that the real ‘hotties’ are on the Pom Squad. I’ll take Lauren with my #1 pick and let someone else yell ‘Timber!!!’
First off, thinking about it again, I have no real reason why I did just a Top 12. That was stupid. I should have expanded my list to 16.
I tried to explain the underachieve list thing but nobody seemed to be accepting my reasoning for why I did it like that, so I quit trying to explain it.
In terms of consensus, we both have Wake Forest and Kansas in the top 3 and Georgia Tech in the top 5.
I obviously think Illinois will be better than Jake does. Three games early on in the season (Wake Forest, Gonzaga, and Missouri) will be key in showing us early how high the Illini could possibly go.
In the end, it does seem like college basketball is as wide open as ever. However, when it comes to deciding who will get to the Final Four, the power conference teams always come through. So, we may see a someone like Xavier or UAB or Gonzaga make a charge, we’ll see power conference teams in the Final Four. We’ll probably see two ACC teams, a Big 12 team, and a team from a conference like the SEC or Big 10 or Pac 10 or Big East.
Let me see if I got this straight B.C. (and be careful out there on that limb for goodness sake), you’re predicting a Final Four of two ACC teams with the SEC, Big 10, Big 12, Big East and Pac-10 most likely to challenge for the other two spots.
Brilliant!
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